lupinsecure
•background maker•
I don't know where to waste my creativity otherwise, that's the only thing i'm good at
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I think it’s bullshit how people with mental illnesses, and often the things that they create, are consistently labeled “edgy” simply due to association (however loose it may be) with mental illness.
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Mentally ill experiences are not edgy.
Trauma, loss, death, and sickness are not edgy. These things are intrinsic to life itself.
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Whatever art a person with a mental illness creates may be influenced by their illness, and that’s okay. It is not something to hide or be ashamed of. It’s not a flaw.
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Let mentally ill people share their art without undue scrutiny; to find solace in art.
Let them create things that they, and people like them, can relate to.
Let them offer missing perspectives.
Hell, let them draw inspiration from anything, even the “bad things”. To transmute suffering into beauty, or into a catharsis.
Encourage it, even. Studies show that accurate portrayals of mental illness in media helps to mitigate some of the effects of stigma!
(Especially in video games, due to heightened immersion.)
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Loud Like Birds, Warm Like Fire
He is loud. He talks very much, even for city person. City people need space, but Bennett doesn't seem to care. Bennett will put his arms around me, even when we had only just met. No, Bennett doesn't need space at all.
Bennett is loud, and attracts trouble. Bennett says it's because of his 'bad luck'. Bennett thinks it's his fault.
Bennett is not at fault. Bennett does not want bad luck, it just follows him. People get mad at Bennett for bad luck. Unlike other people, Bennett can't run away from bad luck. Bad luck follows him. People are mad at Bennett for something he can't control.
People are weird, and complicated.
Why blame Bennett, and not bad luck? Bennett is kind and wants to help people even when they blame him.
Maybe because Bennett blames Bennett too.
Bennett is warm, like fire, but doesn't burn. Bennett is a nice warm. Warm in the way that Lupical is.
Bennett cooks food for me. It ends up burnt, but food is food, and I am hungry.
Bennett talks about his dads, and adventures. Bennett has many dads, Lisa said this is unusual, as most people have only one or two.
Bennett likes the outdoors. I like the outdoors too, there is food and Lupical here.
And it is not loud, like city is.
City has many people. Too many people for me. I do not like many people in same place. Loud means danger, but city is loud without danger.
Bennett is also loud, but a different loud than the city. Bennett is loud in the way birdsong and Lupical is. It is a nice loud.
Sometimes, Bennetts face goes red, like it is too hot, or is sick. But Bennett is not sick, nor is it hot. Bennett says this is normal, and that it is fine.
Lisa says it means something special. But what? Klee says it means Bennett likes me. But Bennett is friend, and friends like each other? Klee says it's a different kind of like, the way you like someone you want with you always.
...People are weird, and complicated.
There are many types of 'like', says Lisa and Klee. There is the 'like' you feel with family. Like Klee and chalk boy, or Bennett and dads.
There is the 'like' you feel with friends. Like steelclaw girl and shining Barbara, or bunny girl and the traveler.
Then there is the special type of 'like' you feel with special people.
This is the one I don't know how feels.
Lisa says it makes your heart beat fast, and you get nervous around that person. Klee says it feels fluffy like lupical, and warm like the spring sun.
I don't know who else to ask, so I ask Bennett. He goes red in the face, but he seems nervous when I ask.
My heart hurts around Bennett sometimes, Lisa says this is the heart beating fast. Bennett makes me feel warm. Is this what they mean?
Do I like Bennett in that special way?
I remember the times we've spent together. I like Bennetts laugh, his smile, his... everything.
Yes, I think, I do like Bennett in that special way.
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reminds me of the lessons I played yesterday (lesson 29-11 & 29-12 spoilers!!!)
I had this funny thought. Imagine just like petting and scratching the demons and being like, "Whose a good demon? Yes you are. You are! Whose my good boy?"
Mammon would probably go for it. Beelzebub too. Do not do this to Lucifer you may not survive.
Beel is too soft. Call him a good boy and he'd probably be happy as a rich child on christmas.
Mams would take it poorly in front of others, but eat that shit up in private. Pet him. He demands the scritch. He is your good boy.
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chaotic academia aesthetic (background)
I've been trying to figure out my kind of aesthetic for a long time now but came to the conclusion that a person can not be defined by only one.
Otherwise I cannot explain why I would want to wear cat sweaters while listening to hard rock music.
Therefore here's one of the many aesthetic that speaks to me.
(why is there so little content to this, I just see dark academia whenever I look up chaotic)
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emo+chaotic+nerd aesthetic
reading 5 books in two days, not reading anything in next year
black trench
likes to learn (but nothing useful
mcr tøp stan (but old top not that scaled and icy shit)
la ot of weird sweaters
big af glasses
always wearing black
niche interests
mess like fucking everywhere
handwriting impossibe to decipher
obsessed with codes
self dyed hair
black chipped nail polish
band shirts
asks shitton of very specific questions in class
earphones always on
stacks of music CDs
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Helios, the Greek god of the sun (background)
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what I think would be persephone's phone background (unblocked)
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what I think would be persephone's phone background (blocked)
I adore greek mythology very much, so I thought why not make a background for my favorite godess
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