Daniela Garza by Maëva Gamberini

@lucentaire 💖

Ever and freed getting red wine drunk

Fairy Tail had worked out for Carena, all those years ago, because of how little questions she had been asked. At the time? Oh, it had been convenient. It had made it easy to disappear. Nowadays? She could not shake the thought that she could not think of a single wizard in their generation who did not have some kind of horror in their past. And maybe, just maybe---maybe it was not smart to group together a bunch of children who had all experienced something and who typically had not been given the proper tools to communicate the tragedies of their past and request the help anyone needed to cope with trauma.

At one point, back when she had been a younger person, she had found Natsu pretty annoying. But age brought some sort of wisdom, and she now felt compassion with the kid version of Natsu who had definitely not received the proper assistance. And all the weird stuff that they had learned about since? Time travel, centuries into the future? It frankly was a surprise in retrospect that Natsu had not been weirder.

"I think you're right---I think the damage is well and truly done, and I don't know if I would be able to accept an apology, but some kind of acknowledgement?" She ran a hand through her (messy, messy) hair. "I think I'd appreciate accountability more than a hollow apology."

Truthfully, she did not think that either was in her future. Makarov did not seem like the kind of person that could acknowledge his own wrongdoings and try make amends. And she had been thirteen, at least. She had been old by comparison when she had joined the guild. And she felt . . . she felt anger and frustration on behalf of those who had been even younger than her when they had lost their support systems.

Carena nodded and her dark green eyes wandered to the window. The storm outside was a fitting reflection of how she felt; she guessed that after such a long time of being friends with Laxus, she had grown familiar to how storms felt. And she found that she was lucky that no matter how moody she was, her moods never affected the weather. Magnolia had seen a few thunderstorms lately that had not been forecasted. For a moment, she was quiet and just let the weight of the conversation crush her. "I think Lisanna sometimes talks with Porlyusica about Edolas. And it's probably good that she has someone who can relate better than I could---better than anyone could. That doesn't mean I'm slacking off in my friendships, I just can acknowledge that sometimes, someone else is better suited to have a conversation. And yes, I try to make time for trips to Dahlia," she said. It was not always easy (nothing was, nowadays), but Carena had liked her time in Dahlia. It was a city she had felt welcomed by. "Everyone's busy, but for people who don't wreck their MCLs all the time, scheduling a meetup is . . .doable."

It still took effort from both sides, Carena had found out. And if she was honest, now that it was technically pretty easy to stay in touch with others, it became glaringly apparent who was not putting in the effort. She had witnessed more than a handful of breakups at train stations that she would link to the MCLs. It was almost funny to her, but then---she had not been dumped.

She paused and sighed, taking off her glasses and folding them before tucking them back into their case. "I heard you earlier, and I will be pretty frank here---if Laxus or Freed or Bix had brought up the idea of leaving, of getting some distance, I would've packed my bags. I don't think it's running away, it's more a matter of, hm---" she hummed, pondering the anecdote for a moment. "My mum always said that there's no shame in leaving a place that no longer meets your needs." She flustered, just a little bit. "It was part of the big speech on how I shouldn't ever tolerate a situation where I'm not treated with respect."

There was a certain bittersweet pang in his chest as he realised that he’d thought about and spoken about his parents more in the past hour or so with Evergreen, than he’d done in a long time. His past and his family had long been tucked up against his chest, sheltered beside his heart, walled off in the attempt to preserve and protect them. Little by little, pieces of the wall were being chipped away, but perhaps that wasn’t a bad thing.

His eyes were drawn to Evergreen as she spoke again, interest tilting his head slightly, a touch of a smile on his lips. The thought of her as a young girl, serenely doing an activity while her mother was working…it was nice. He imagined the moment to be as peaceful to her as his own memories with his parents had been during similar times. It was funny to think that when those moments were occurring, they’d had no idea how precious and significant it was, and how they’d wish for more of them.

The faint smile he’d had faded into a frown as he nodded, his thoughts on Wendy. “Yeah…I guess I never really thought about that before, but you’re right.” He supposed he’d been too focused on what he’d lost to appreciate what he’d had. There was no way anyone could replace or replicate those experiences for Wendy, he knew, yet that didn’t stop the urge that was bubbling up and making him want to go find her and make sure she would get something similar somehow.

He almost voiced his thoughts then, his wish to find Wendy and help her find some sort of normal, yet he sighed instead, knowing it was a pointless sentiment. She at least had the others watching over her, he reassured himself. Or was it an excuse?

Lost in his thoughts for the moment, he hardly noticed Muddy’s incremental movements – her paw shifting to his leg, then her second paw, slight shifts until her upper half was lying across his lap. He absentmindedly stroked the top of her head and drank some of his tea as he contemplated Evergreen’s words. Yeah, there was certainly a lot of not-so-kid-friendly behaviour around when they were growing up, a lot of bad habits some of them picked up too. Frowning, he sighed and turned his eyes up to her, watching as she squirmed to adjust herself under the blanket.

A brief flare of amusement warmed him at her actions, and despite the relative seriousness of the topic they were on, her grumbling was…cute. He pushed that thought aside and nodded in acknowledgement and understanding of what she said, finding another ‘I get it’ on the tip of his tongue. And he did get it. There were a lot of complexities about the guild, and with the feelings it brought about, and he could imagine the difficulties around talking about it, especially with those still part of it. Hell, he still had trouble with it himself.

“Yeah, not the worst…but wouldn’t hurt if people could admit it wasn’t the best either, right?” he said. A certain guilt twisted in his gut, a cocktail of regret and embarrassment, the awareness that he’d had rose coloured glasses on in the past when it came to Fairy Tail. Yeah, there were things he’d had issues with in the past, things he kept to himself or his closest friends, yet he’d always a had pride in the guild that was, in hindsight, maybe not so well placed. That wasn’t to say he wholly regretted ever joining, but…well, it was complicated.  Still, he could appreciate the situation Evergreen was in, feeling as if she couldn’t voice her true thoughts on certain matters.

Sighing, he stared into the fire for a moment (and Muddy finally moved fully onto his lap, curled up like an awkward approximation of a large cat). Distance huh…

“I guess some people might say there’s a fine line between getting distance and running away…” Some nights, he wondered which applied to him. “There’s…” – he stopped, a sigh slipping out as he frowned, turning his head down and focusing on Muddy as he continued, “There’s a few reasons why I left.” But there was no reason to dump it all on Evergreen, and did he really want to unpack it all right now? Another excuse, maybe he really was just running away.

He shrugged and aimed to shift the focus, adding, “I’m kinda surprised Lisanna stuck around at all after she came back from Edolas. Can’t imagine it was easy for her.”

She’d been ripped from her life and then thrown back into it two years later, it had to have been rough. She always seemed fine, but he hadn’t exactly asked her how she was doing, had anyone? So much had happened since then, but that experience had to still haunt her.

“I’m glad she found her place at Blue Pegasus at least…” He wondered idly if he’d figure out where exactly his place was. “Do you two still hang out sometimes?”

WHAT HERB ARE YOU?

Dandelion

you grew up too fast and all you know is the calluses on your fists and the thousand invisible scars that you pretend don't ache. your anger burns so bright, so hot or maybe not at all, so deep you could never tell it was there. you are yours and you will defend that to the death after so many years of being ripped apart and denied your own agency and maybe you are still facing the bastards who stole your innocence but you will survive because that's the only thing you know how to do without breaking, the only thing you know besides protect, protect, protect, protect, yourself or sometimes those few others you claim as yours. you are a thousand sharp edges but impenetrable, a traumatized child so covered by thorny armor that you promised yourself you're grown now, you're stronger than anyone who has ever hurt you. you're safe. nothing will ever hurt you again. you're so alone though sometimes, in a world that sees you as too much or too broken or too angry or too hurt, and you want to scream with the too-much of it, prove that you're okay, that you're self-reliant, that you are strong enough to stake your claim on your body, on your mind, on your heart, on your people, and protect it from any who dare take it away from you. you are the sea in tempest, a howling sky, a tsunami in motion, a force of nature, no matter how much you sometimes yearn to be still, to be safe, to be small. you are a dandelion, stubborn and determined to grow in the rockiest of soil, and bloom again in spring.

tagged by: @resolvebound tagging: @resolvebound (for Rogue & Gray)

ANIMAL FAMILIAR QUIZ.

~ Fox ~

Though often having a reputation as a trickster, the Fox familiar is actually a good mentor to their master. They are some of the best animals as guides through difficult situations, using wisdom, cunning, and intelligence to lead the way. Being very seclusive and quiet, you are very likely a more introverted individual, though that doesn't stop you from being kind and helping others. Like the fox, you are very aware of your environment and the people around you, and are hard to catch off-guard. A Fox familiar may act as a teacher or mentor to their master, helping them through difficult situations and keeping them aware of the world. This familiar represents: intelligence, being secluded, cleverness, awareness, quick-thinking, wisdom.

They were inching closer and closer to the territory of conversations that typically happened late at night after several glasses of wine and that were a lot easier after the alcohol had started to loosen tongues, but although she had only been drinking tea, Carena found herself . . . comfortable with the path the conversation was heading down. It was a rather human need, she guessed---wanting to be known. It was something she did not really allow herself often, outside of the safety of her team, but she knew enough about herself to realise that this---wanting to tell someone else something in response to having learned something about them---was a very natural impulse.

"My mum, she, um, she was a teacher. Languages, mostly, but a bit of science too." It had been years since she had last said this---it had come up with Laxus in the early days of their friendship, but seldom afterwards. It was not that she truly worried that with this little information, anyone could piece things together about her real, actual backstory, but---she had always been cautious. Maybe because of the guilt. Her mother had been the true innocent on the day Carena Harlowe's life had ended. Her mother had been just a normal person, married to the wrong man, having the wrong daughter. Some days, this was a lot to deal with. Some days, it was just the fragment of the complicated salad of emotions dwelling inside of her. She was not sure which one it was today.

She rubbed her ear. The point was---the point was that once upon a time, the girl that would become Evergreen had had a normal life. A childhood. Parents. And she had lost those things. "I'd colour or draw or read in her little study while she graded. That was my normal, growing up," she added, now kneading her ear between her fingers. "And I guess I feel some way about the knowledge that for Wendy, this kind of normal that we both experienced at some point just . . . never existed."

She was by no means close to the young dragon slayer, but one would need to be entirely without empathy to not think that Wendy's overall life situation was pretty tough. And Romeo . . . she sighed inwardly. He had been a little kid before they had all disappeared for seven years. She had been vaguely aware of him, sure, but she did not think they had ever really talked. He had always looked up to Natsu which, she guessed, made a certain amount of sense. Natsu was a fellow fire mage who was not Romeo's dad which, if teenagers still worked the way she had once known them to work, instantly made Natsu a hundred times cooler to Romeo than Macao could ever hope to be.

"I don't know how things back when we were younger could've been better because the overall situation everywhere was pretty rough and I don't have enough insight into what was going on behind the scenes, but I think that there could've been . . . something that wouldn't have exposed a group of kids to . . . not-so-kid-friendly behaviour," she grumbled, taking another sip of her tea. Her mood and the weather seemed to concur because somewhere in the distance, she could hear the storm growl just a little louder than before. In response, she wiggled more into the blanket. "All things considered, I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I sometimes find it difficult to really . . . express my less positive feelings because, eh, being in a guild was definitely not the worst possible outcome. I just---it's kind of hard to say that maybe, there were some issues back in Magnolia. Some people react strongly to statements like this, but, uh---I really don't blame Lisanna and you for choosing to get some distance."

As the silence grew between them, the storm outside seemed all that much louder, and he wondered if he’d been out of line with his question. But it was a simple enough one, wasn’t it? Bound to come up at some point. He frowned and considered telling her not to bother answering it, yet as he handed her the cup of tea and eyed her expression, he held back, too interested in what she might say. She seemed the sort to be deliberate in her words, and he’d found in the past that sometimes what wasn’t said was more illuminating at times.

While she gathered her thoughts, he grabbed the largest cushion from the couch and planted it by the fire, setting his drink on the floor beside him as he sat down. The couch was the obvious choice of seating, however it would put him too far behind Evergreen, he thought, unless he wanted to move her chair again. He didn’t mind sitting on the floor, the cushion was, well, cushiony, and his position meant he could see his guest clearly and also stay within reach of the fire if it needed tending.

He gestured for Muddy to come lie beside him. She ambled over and flopped down next to him, resting her head on his leg. His focus stayed on her, even as Evergreen began to speak. Sometimes…it was easier to talk that way, without someone’s eyes on you, for him at least, perhaps it was the same for Evergreen.

Blue Pegasus was about as opposite to Fairy Tail as he could imagine, and was probably one of the last guilds he would join if he had to pick. It wasn’t as if he disliked the members, or Master Bob, but there was a glamour about the guild that he knew he would never fit in with or feel comfortable with. Fairy Tail had a very different sort of glamour, or had in the past at least.

He sighed, idly playing with Muddy’s floppy ears. “Yeah, I get it,” he said after a moment, frowning, “I reckon there was a lot that was overlooked, by everyone.”

Her words made him think, did he feel bad for his younger self? For being in Fairy Tail? There was…a lot to unpack in that line of thought. On one hand, where would he be if he hadn’t joined the guild? On the other hand, what would it have been like to grow up in a more…appropriate environment? Fairy Tail had an unusual amount of members that joined young and the troubles that had brought them there were hardly light. Adding to that, the other members of the guild were not so much the responsible adult types, he knew. It wasn’t a great mix really.

Another sigh slipped from his lips, eyes raising to find Evergreen’s expression as she spoke again. A slightly wry smile formed as he looked down at Muddy again and nodded. “Ain’t that the truth.” Yeah, he remembered being much the same – feeling plenty grown up as a kid. In his early years in the guild, there were times when he was far too reckless, too rude, or too stubborn, too young to know better, and there was no one he would really listen to who would stop him. He would never have admitted it back then, but he needed to have been stopped. He’d learnt some lessons from it, true, but not everything needed to have been learnt the hard way.

The question returned to his mind, what would have happened if he’d been able to join a different guild? Or not joined one at all? The possibilities swirled around, and he almost let the contemplation out into the softly lit space between them. Instead, he took a sip of tea and wished it was something stronger.

“Wendy and Romeo,” he said, after a moment, frowning, “They’ve already been through a lot…I hope they can just be kids for a while.”

He ruffled Muddy’s fur and found himself admitting something very few knew. “When I was a kid…y’know, before Fairy Tail, before…” Deliora. He cleared his throat slightly and went on. “I, uh, wanted to be an architect when I grew up. I used to try building models of houses with cardboard and whatever else I could find. My…” He paused, feeling his chest and throat tighten. “My mom would help me glue everything together, these godawful constructions, and she’d display them on the mantelpiece.”

The memory of his mother’s pride brought him a soft smile, he shook his head slightly in remembered amusement. “She used to go to museums all the time, so she’d pretend the house models were some priceless artifacts and she’d spout off stuff about them like she was a tour guide or something.”  It’d been embarrassing, but fun, her antics.

Did she miss being in Blue Pegasus? It was strange how much of a pause this question gave her. She had been in the guild for a year. It had been Laxus' idea to go there, and she had followed him. It had been a good experience, all things considered. They had not been there long enough to really look behind all the curtains, but there had been a few things that had been quietly understood. One of them had been that anyone underestimated Master Bob at their own risk---and from what Carena had seen, the risk was not worth taking.

"It was a very different guild experience," she said, choosing each of her words with care. This question and the ponderings it had caused were getting quite personal, but she did not want to deceive him. And he had left the guild, so chances were that he would understand what it was that she was trying to say---maybe he even had had similar thoughts before. "Blue Pegasus is definitely a lesson on how much you can hide in plain sight. And it, um, showed me how some things in Fairy Tail are kinda messed up, if you really think about it. There are things I overlooked when I was younger, then they became my normal and now . . . I don't know. I sometimes feel bad for my younger self, in retrospect." She paused, staring down at her tea as her glasses fogged up just a bit. "I guess . . . not all guilds were taking in mages that were still kids. And I think now that I am older, I do wonder if maybe, the other guilds had a point when they didn't take in literal children. In retrospect, the guild wasn't always the best environment for young people."

Thinking of Romeo, of Wendy---she was not entirely sure if it was a good environment now. She was hardly the best at caring because there had been times in her life when caring, when growing attached had been dangerous, but she was older now. She knew how twisted it could be when someone felt more mature than their age indicated. And sometimes, she wondered what she had done to herself in the name of seeming more mature. Those were never good thoughts, and she usually reserved them for the nights when she could not sleep, but . . . they crept up on her now and she was too drained to shake them off.

She drank a sip of her tea and suppressed a yawn as she continued. "I was . . . thirteen when I joined and I thought I was plenty grown up, but these days, I look at Wendy or Romeo, and I want to reach back in time to smack myself because no, I was a kid at thirteen." She shrugged, feeling a little awkward. "Definitely too young to make choices that would affect my entire life."

Her comment of an imposter brought him a slight laugh and he gave a little shake of his head. Amusement warmed him as she said she would defend him from Porlyusica, his smile hidden as he reached towards the back of the cupboard for a particular cup. “Thanks,” he said, “I could do without a lecture from her.”

The cup he retrieved was unlike the others in his collection, but then again, they were all rather different from each other, an eclectic group. Over the years, instead of buying a brand new set of them, he’d tended to pick up the odd mug or cup at markets whenever they caught his eye. It had begun simply because he’d only needed one mug when he’d taken ownership of the cabin, there was no point in having a whole set. And then when Cana and/or Loke would visit or stay when helping him work on the renovations, they each brought one of their own to add to the cupboard. From then, he picked up the habit of looking out for ones that reminded him of those he was close to, or ones that pleased his eye.

He looked down at the teacup he’d selected, chosen for the way it brought to mind other cups he’d seen Evergreen with. On the dainty side, crisp white with a golden edge and a delicate swirl of vines and blue flowers (forget-me-nots or something, he wasn’t sure). The matching saucer had not been found among the wares of the stall he’d found the cup in, but he admittedly hadn’t looked too hard.

Placing it down on the kitchen countertop beside his own mug (purchased at a pottery stall some time ago, crafted in a lovely midnight blue and glazed with great care), he set about getting the water heated and the tea ready as he listened to Evergreen.

Thinking back, it seemed Magnolia was hardly ever uneventful, although he supposed the seven years when most of the guild was missing must have been…almost a relief to the town in some ways. He thought of the cathedral and its multiple rebuilds as she mentioned it, it was certainly not the only building there that had needed repeated restoration. He hummed a little in interest at the mention of the new windows, wondering how they looked. Stained glass was always quite something.

“I’m not one for crowds either,” he said, frowning a little and imagining he would have skipped out on the unveiling himself too. “But that’s cool, that it’s all done now.”

He wondered about the rest of the town and any changes they might have made while rebuilding. Despite how he’d said he’d been meaning to visit, truthfully, he wasn’t sure he was quite ready for it. Or to visit the guild. He tugged idly at the collar of his shirt and sighed, pushing the thoughts from his mind.

The mention of Master Bob had him looking over to his guest, curiosity winning out and giving a soft tilt to his head. “Do you miss being in Blue Pegasus?”

Ota Samuro, Begonia postcard, Late Meiji era

There times when I typed "Samuro" in the tags, tumblr closed my post and discarded it saying the photo editor was not cool enough to post this yet. That's their cute speak for "Everything is broken here"

She smiled and nodded at the mention of tea. While knowing that she preferred tea was hardly advanced knowledge about her, she still appreciated it that he had taken the time to remember this. "If I ever turn down tea, you can assume I've been replaced by a low-effort imposter---clearly, they didn't do their research," she said as she wiggled more into the blanket. "And no worries, I'll defend your stitchwork from Porlyusica. I think she's too busy with research of her own to hunt you down."

Both Laxus' grandmother and Gray, Carena decided, had been through enough weirdness. Neither of them deserved additional trouble. Porlyusica granted was involved in anything that concerned Laxus because . . . well, they were related. While Carena knew that this did not always count for much, it could count for something. She liked to imagine that if her parents were alive still, they were still close.

But that was always such a strange question.

Everything about 'Evergreen' existed because her parents were gone. Evergreen would not exist if her parents were still alive. She would be an entirely different person---and sometimes, this knowledge was difficult to reconcile with her grief. She widely liked who she had become, but the knowledge of the price was sometimes gnawing on her when she did not want to examine it. Then, truthfully? There was much that Carena did not want to examine too closely.

Retrieving her sandwich from her bag and taking a first bite, she took the time to ponder the question Gray had asked. Most of the exciting things that had been happening had been exciting in a stressful way, and she was not keen on chewing through her mountain of small frustrations again. "Well," she started as she propped up her chin and used her other hand to massage the bridge of her nose. "I think we're all happy when Magnolia is . . . uneventful." She was not just thinking of the war, there had been plenty of other incidents. "The rebuilding of the cathedral is done now, they hired a pretty good artist for the stained glass windows. I think the unveiling of the windows was the last big event. I didn't go---I don't enjoy crowds all that much, but I've been hearing about it. The appetisers were apparently really good, but the champagne was flat. They should've bought the champagne from Master Bob's vineyard, if you ask me. His champage is pretty good."

As were his mimosas . . . and she had never seen Master Bob drunk before noon. She could not say the same for Master Makarov.

Storms were a powerful show of nature’s wild strength. He had seen their destructive force in the past and could easily understand if someone had a fear or uneasiness about them, yet he knew they would not unnerve him in such a way. He’d grown up with a good respect for them, it had been instilled in every kid in his hometown that storms were to be taken seriously, it was something that had always stuck to him. So too, did the memories of being safely inside his home, with his parents, while a storm blustered through the town.

The howling wind and lashing rain were nothing to be afraid of, he’d been reassured. He recalled sitting at a low table near the crackling fireplace with his mother, the pair of them painting and drawing while his father read them a book (in quite the dramatic fashion), a story about a magical sword stuck in a stone. It was…a good memory, one that hadn’t come to mind in a long time, but was perhaps the reason such weather was more a comfort to him than anything.

He focused on Evergreen to ignore the dull ache that had settled in his chest. She did look a little better than she had earlier, even if she seemed a tad on the distracted or absent-minded side (though that was understandable). That she planned to visit Porlyusica was a relief, even if he couldn’t help but wince slightly at the thought as he nodded. A brief smile flashed across his face. “Guess I’d better hope she doesn’t judge my stitchwork on you too hard.”

Muddy nudged his hand, prompting him to resume petting her as he gave a low, thoughtful hum in acknowledgement of Evergreen and her thought on not sleeping just yet. Yeah, he supposed if he was in her position, he probably wouldn’t want to fall asleep either, not yet. And food was a good idea, she would need to regain her strength.

“How about some tea too?” he suggested as he regained his full height, “Pretty sure I have some somewhere.” Maybe he’d recently started drinking it again, for some reason.

Tea might relax and warm her, and if she wasn’t ready to sleep, he figured he could probably stir up a conversation enough to keep her distracted from the storm and her current state. He’d likely never been considered a particularly good conversationalist, he knew, he tended to either be too blunt or too…well, quiet, preferring to observe than to speak. He thought it shouldn’t be too hard to find something to talk about that wasn’t digging into her past or being in any way insensitive. Her teammates came to mind, an easy topic, but perhaps too easy.

It wasn’t as if he wasn’t interested in how they’d been or what they were doing, but he was rather more interested in her. She was…intriguing. It helped, he supposed, that in all their interactions so far, she had proven to be quite different from what he’d always heard whispered about her. Rumours and common opinions were hardly ever truthful or accurate, so perhaps it was no surprise there was more to her than was previously thought. He preferred to make his own mind up about people and things anyway.

Moving around to head back into the kitchen, he frowned slightly at himself for the fact he could only come up with a rather boring and typical question for her in the moment.

“So, uh, aside from the job not going to plan…” he started as he opened a cupboard to grab his favourite mug, glancing back over at her, “How've you been lately?” His creativity, it seemed, only extended to his magic and art and not the art of conversation. “You said before that I haven’t missed much in Magnolia. I…” He rubbed the side of his cheek and looked away with a small shrug. “I’ve been meaning to visit.”

It had been a long time since she had last thought of the place she had once called Home. She remembered it well---the wide open fields, the windmills, the peacefulness of it all. In more recent times, there had been two occasions when she had considered to go back: the first had been when she had returned from the seven years of absence. The second had been after the war. But in the end, she had not went back since she had left, back when she had been thirteen. She had tried to keep up with the news from a distance---she knew that her hometown had been affected by the war, yes, but that it could have been much worse.

According to the reports she had (secrectly) caught glimpses of, Master Goldmine and some of his guildmembers had ended up in the vicinity. She still did not know whether or not sending Master Goldmine a gift basket would be the polite, the well-mannered thing to do. She might do it, anonymously, just to quieten the thoughts that kept gnawing on her.

Lost so far in her own thoughts that the howling of the storm might as well exist in an entirely different dimension, she did startle a bit when the blanket touched her. She was not exactly known as someone who spaced out---her eye magic required her to always be at least a little bit focused, but she had been known to drift, sometimes. Only that she usually only drifted away and allowed her thoughts to fully consume her when she was at home and the symphony of the muffled sounds of Laxus' music became entwined with the sound of someone (Freed, most of the time) working in the kitchen. Now and then, the chatter from people passing their house outside was added to the scene, but she admittedly usually believed that to be a disturbance---an unwelcome addition to the sounds that made her house her home.

But Carena had always been quick to catch herself, and despite her injury, she managed just fine today as well. "Ah, thank you," she said as she smiled at Gray and shifted in her seat to wrap the blanket around her. "The storm is . . . quite something."

For her, at least. Central Fiore was known for many things, but not for its storms. She doubted that this was new to Gray---she had joined the guild after him, true, and he had never been the sort to talk much about his background (that had always been more of a Natsu thing, come to think of it), but something about the way he spoke had always reminded her of an old business partner of her father's. One's origins tended to sink below one's skin and into one's voice.

As she was still contemplating the weather outside, the sudden movement of her chair tore her from her ponderings and she almost pouted. "I am feeling better, I'm warming up," she said---and that was the truth. "I'll definitely feel my side for a few more days . . . and I'll drop in on Porlyusica when I return to Magnolia. Even if I get scolded for recklessness, that's still preferable to any . . . lingering damage."

It would leave a scar, but that had never been something Carena had been concerned about. If there was one thing she would forever be grateful for, it was that she had never been left alone in a situation where her looks had been all she had had left. That seemed like a terrifying fate.

She tilted her head just a little, not unlike a bird. "I don't think I can sleep just yet," she said calmly, but there was an admittance inside the simple phrase. A slice of vulnerability, easily hidden, easily covered up. "The adrenaline has pretty much worn off, but I think I should finish my sandwich before I try to sleep."

His eyes remained on Evergreen as she moved over to the chair, wary of the possibility that she might suddenly collapse (or that Muddy might make a dash towards her in excitement and knock her over). Only once she was safely settled, did he turn and ensure the door was securely shut behind them against the brewing storm. With that done, he moved through to the kitchen and began to make quick work of unpacking the bags of supplies he’d brought earlier.

As he sorted through his purchases, his mind wandered back to Evergreen’s comment about the village and her family’s house. He’d wanted to ask her more about that part of her life, curiosity tugging at him, yet he would rather wait for the crumbs of information that were dropped, than feel as if he was prying. His own past had always been kept close to his chest, almost as if sharing any part of it would cause his memories, the good ones, to fade. He wondered now, a multitude of what-ifs, briefly imagining what might have been if either he or Evergreen had happened to move to the others home village or town as kids.

What might have happened had they met when they were younger, before the tragedies that struck their lives? (of course, he didn’t know the details of her early life, but he could hardly imagine happy circumstances leading her to join Fairy Tail at a young age) And what might have been if the tragedies had never occurred in the first place? Would little Evergreen and Gray have been fast friends in such a life? They weren’t exactly not friends now, so he supposed they would have had a good chance.

There was little point in dwelling on alternate lives, he knew, so he pushed the thoughts from his mind as he reached for the last item in the bag. He tossed the new box of matches down to the floor near the fireplace, where he’d be needing them shortly, and then turned his attention back to his guest.

She occupied his favourite armchair (okay, his only armchair…) and he had to admit that even with her injury and somewhat dishevelled appearance, she looked good in that spot and maybe he wouldn’t mind her being there more often (without injuries of course). But he wasn’t about to examine those faint thoughts too closely. While the couch was typically the domain of rare visitors (and a cheeky Muddy), the armchair was uniquely his.

Situated just so near the window and nearby lamp, and in reach of the coffee table and a bookshelf, he had almost everything he wanted at his fingertips whenever he sat there. The bookshelf itself was positioned slightly behind the chair, so was perhaps not comfortably in reach, but it housed his favourite books and, dare he say it…knickknacks. Yes, among the icebergian books, the odd little item peeked out – a crystalline flower in bloom here, an antique and no longer functioning clock there, among other things.

With the coolness of the air in mind, and perhaps the offer of a measure of comfort, he shifted around the coffee table and grabbed the navy-blue blanket that had been draped on the back of the couch.

“Here,” he said, settling the blanket over her softly, “that’ll keep you warm until I get things going.”

He spared a glance to Muddy, who had sunk contentedly into her bed now, and redirected his gaze to the soon-to-be heat source (one might think he was rather studiously avoiding looking at Evergreen in the attempt to ignore his budding sense of awkwardness, and they would be right). Beside the fireplace, a few pieces of wood lay in a neat stack, ready and waiting to fuel their warmth for the next while. He would grab some more from out the back to replace it later, but for now he focused on the task at hand. He crouched down in front of the fireplace and opened its door, which he was pleased no longer creaked. While being no fire-mage, it didn’t take him long to have everything set and a flame beginning to grow within the old metallic box.

Satisfied after watching the fire for a moment, he closed the little door and slowly stood. He turned to Evergreen once again and took a step towards her, leaning forward enough to grab the sides of the armchair (with her still on it) and pull it so it was better positioned to the fireplace. She would need the best, warmest spot in the house, he figured.

Muddy peered over curiously at him due to the shift in furniture and he decided she deserved some attention. Moving over to her, he knelt beside her bed and smiled as he ran a hand over her soft coat. She leaned into the touch and attempted to lick him in affection.

He turned his focus back to Evergreen and asked, “How are you feeling now?”

Frowning slightly, he added, “You can sleep if you want.”

Ph: Jeremy Soma

Winterweed was as chilly as the name had promised, and Carena felt lucky that she had opted for her warmer coat before she had embarked on her journey to the area. It was not doing much for her right now as it could do nothing about her blood loss, but once it was cleaned and she was feeling a bit better, it would keep her warm and cosy on her way back. Like her, Gray was a private person and she should avoid intruding on him for too long.

She could admit, however, that she did like the little tour he was giving. There was something almost charming about being shown a location through the eyes of someone who lived there. And who else could have pointed out Gray's pet's companion's favourite puddle? . . . Maybe the blood loss was affecting her more than she had first thought because that was a truly strange thought, and she was glad that he could not see her face because she was almost entirely sure that her ghastly paleness had been replaced, at least temporarily, by rosy cheeks. She would blame it on the cold, if asked, she decided.

There was something about the more rural areas of Fiore that Carena sometimes had trouble verbalising. It was nothing bad, at least not to her, but it was sometimes strange to remember that all those people lived perfectly normal lives. Lives like the one she could have had, if not for the Day That She Did Not Like To Think About. It was strange that this thought occurred to her right now, but the village near her home had been not entirely different from Winterweed, it had just been in a much warmer locale.

"The village near my family's house wasn't too different from this place," she said as she adjusted her glasses. "It was just . . . a lot warmer, of course. Central Fiore rarely reaches the frigid temperatures of the northern parts."

She did not quite know why she had felt the need to say this, though she also could not think of any particular reason why she should not have said it. It had been washed away by time and a desire to scrub her past clean, but when she had first joined the guild, her pronounciation had given her away. Where she was from had not been as much of a secret in that time. She had only made herself unknowable at earnest when she had been older---fifteen, sixteen---though of course, she thought as fondness made her smile, there had always been exceptions. It would not have felt right to lie to Laxus. Or Bix. Or Freed.

Ah, she would put a pin in this thought until later, she decided as she watched Gray unlock his door. The fact that he did so with a key made from ice almost made her chuckle, though really---she was in no position to judge, was she? Her own magic was also quite . . . omnipresent in her everyday life. More than once, she had ended up using her wings to fly and float when she had ended up wearing shoes that she had not yet broken in properly previous to the event.

Once she was inside the cabin, she could not help that her gaze flickered---from the dog (that was as adorable as Gray had all but promised) to the furniture, the decor. To see someone, anyone, in their own sphere for the first time could be quite informative. No matter how quiet people were about themselves, few could avoid the way they changed and affected their own spheres. Her own house had plenty of plants because that was something she liked in her surroundings. She could admit it, she was curious how Gray lived. What he added to his surroundings to feel at home. The cabin was rustic in the way many places in this area were, and she did not think that she could have identified it as Gray's from the outside at first glance, unless her first glance would have just so happened to spot the 'welcome' mat as that did seem rather like a Gray thing to own.

Her feet back on the ground, she smiled as she gave Muddy a friendly nod and dragged herself to the nearby armchair, wincing just a little as she sat slumped down and her injury protested against such ungentle treatment. "Thank you," she said as she propped her chin up against her fist and suppressed a yawn. "I do feel a little bit . . . chilly."

When she teased the idea that he might ever want to get into medicine, it was her tone more than the words themselves brought a smile to his lips, an amused sound leaving him on a breath. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

He found himself wishing he could carry her a different way, so that he might see the expression that came with her words. But there was nothing to read into about that, right? It was normal to want to see the face of someone you were talking to. It had nothing to do with the fact she was pretty or that he hoped to see her smile. Nothing to do with that at all, nope.

He mentally shook himself and attempted to refocus on the path before him and any potential dangers. If anything were to suddenly emerge, brought out by the oncoming snowstorm, and attack them both, he needed to be ready to act. Still, even with such a serious thought stirring in his mind, he found his attention drawn to Evergreen as she carefully shifted and dug through her bag.

Despite his own bad luck (and perhaps at times, bad attitude) with mcls, he had to admit they were a handy invention, particularly, he imagined, for teams or close friends. The device allowed messages to be sent instantaneously, affording people the ability to communicate important information, like whether or not they would not be home soon due to being caught up in a snowstorm in a former guildmate’s house. Normal things like that.

Tempting as it was to try peek at her screen, he determinedly kept his eyes ahead. Her mcl was her business, and he wouldn’t let his curiosity disrespect that. His own mcl was in his pocket…or was it? The image of it sitting on the coffee table came to mind and he inwardly cursed. He really needed to get better at taking it with him, just in case. Sighing a little, he was grateful for the distraction that came from Evergreen speaking again. Amused, he rolled his eyes at her mention of her friends being happy that she was alright and he almost said, yeah, somehow I think you’re right. He merely nodded in response instead, attempting to suppress a yawn himself, and cast his eyes around as she commented on the area around them. He wondered if his own familiarity with the place had dulled him to its beauty.

“Yeah,” he agreed, “it’s peaceful.”

Of course, to the villagers, it hadn’t always been so peaceful, and their disturbed peace was what had fatefully led him to acquire his cabin in the first place. Since then, he’d done what he could to keep the surroundings safe for them. As for the air…others might have thought her remark odd, and might have thought commenting on the coldness of the air might have been more…typical. But he knew.

Before past battles and memories of suffering could come too close to the surface for either of them, he raised a hand to indicate a large, muddied area off to the side. “And if you look to your left, you can behold the famous preferred puddle of one Miss Muddy.”

His dog had never been able to resist jumping into the dirtied water, making him wonder if it was the mud she loved or the inevitable bath that followed after. The thought of her brought him a smile. Sharing his cabin with someone (even if that someone was a dog) had been…nice. The thought brought him belated awareness that in just a few minutes, Evergreen would be entering his home. His steps didn’t falter, yet he couldn’t deny his pulse jumped as if he’d stumbled.

Their destination drew nearer, and although he was relieved to have beaten the storm home, his nerves were on edge. His cabin was his home now, there were echoes of himself throughout it, and bringing anyone inside it felt rather too much like letting them inside his soul. But that was just being dramatic, and besides, he’d been inside her home before too (a home shared with others, true, but it was still personal). This would just make them even, right?

“Well…” he said, clearing his throat slightly, “Here we are.” Home, sweet home.

He took the small steps up onto the porch, careful not to bump or jostle Evergreen as he did so, then unlocked the front door with an ice-make key. Conscious of the floors inside, he wiped his feet on the Un-Welcome mat (an amusing find of Cana’s that read ‘Go Away’) and then headed inside. An excited bark greeted him before a brown and white canine scrambled over to them.

Gray smiled instantly, “There’s my girl. Told you I’d be back soon, didn’t I? Now, go sit.”

Muddy wiggled like a worm in the dirt, happy to have company once again. At Gray’s gesture, she made her way to her basket and carefully climbed in. With her out of the way, he moved further inside to allow room for Evergreen to find her own feet again.

He almost pointed to the armchair and told her to sit and rest, but she was not a dog. Instead, he rubbed the back of his neck to dispel any awkwardness. “Uh…make yourself comfortable I guess. I’ll get the fire going again.”

idk what i wanted to do on this beautiful evening, but apparently, i ended up making playlists.

'The Water Garden'. Childe Hassam. 1909.