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littlemoonwellness · 1 year
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I never grieved my relationship…. I was too busy holding on to anger and resentment. And with that, it lingered. I talked about it often, and still felt like I had never quite moved on from it. 
I realized the anger blocked me from moving through other emotions. I was so busy being bitter, that I didn’t allow myself to feel sadness. 
I would never admit out loud that I missed him, because how could you miss someone who treated you like that? 
But that’s the funny thing about life, duality. 
Pain and love can coexist. 
So can missing someone who deeply hurt you. 
But if you don’t allow yourself to miss them (and in turn shame yourself for feeling that way), it won’t transmute. 
You can’t alchemize the pain if you don’t allow yourself to face it, all of it. 
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littlemoonwellness · 1 year
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I think one of the hardest pills to swallow has been, who I was before is never coming back.
I’ve been trying to go back to who I was before, 
to retrieve my confidence to retrieve my passions, hobbies and interests to retrieve my trust in others
to bring back the girl I was before the shaming, harsh words, being made to feel like I was a piece of shit, that everything I did or enjoyed was dumb and unloveable, before I was slut shamed for just existing and being a loving and caring human
But she isn’t coming back, not in the same way. 
I must grieve her and send her love, speak to her kindly, and focus on rebuilding a life now unlike one she could’ve ever imagined. 
Your life isn’t over once you have CPTSD. 
You’ve made it out and to the other side, that’s something to be celebrated. 
You get to recreate a new version of yourself, as hard as it might be. 
But you can have a new future. One where you’ve healed and found yourself again. 
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littlemoonwellness · 1 year
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It’s hard to see the reflection in the mirror sometimes, and it’s hard to look back and see the reflection of our past self, the choices we’ve made, the way we’ve treated others, and how unaware we may have been. 
It’s hard, but it’s purposeful. 
The lessons we took away from those experiences made us who we are today. If we hadn’t have learned from them, we may still be there, making the same decisions, reacting and acting the same. 
To be able to recognize the degree to which self-love affects every aspect of our being is life-changing. 
The saying "how we treat others is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves" is powerful beyond measure. It hits deeper and deeper the more I self-reflect. And the more I take time to recognize how I truly felt in the moment that I reacted or acted in a certain way. 
With awareness, I have shifted my reactions, but at times I still have to work on forgiving my younger self.. for treating people in the way I treated myself.. and for treating myself with such a lack of love, compassion, and support. 
It takes time and healing. It takes sitting with that version of yourself and loving them the way they needed at that time. 
It takes recognizing that perfection is unattainable, and that we often make mistakes in life so that we can learn from them. 
Accountability can exist without shame. 
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littlemoonwellness · 1 year
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We often hear “don’t take things personally, what other people say and do is a reflection of them, a projection of their insecurities, wounds, etc.” And while this is true, it doesn’t make it hurt any less when we experience it.
Shadow work is something that has transformed my life. It has helped me grow my self-love exponentially. I’ve cultivated more compassion through practicing shadow work and integration of my own shadow. 
The shadow is whenever an aspect of self (personality trait, emotion, reaction, etc.) is rejected and suppressed into our subconscious, creating feelings of shame and judgement.
What we judge others, we typically judge ourselves for or have been judged by others for.
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We were told that aspect is not deserving of love. It’s not accepted, so we must reject it. Thus, we reject it in others.
Our inner child doesn't understand... "“It’s not fair they get to do that, and I can’t… I want to do that without judgement or shame.… why do they get to do it confidently and be accepted?” 
The more self-critical we are, the more this can project outwardly. If we aren’t very accepting of ourselves, our mistakes, our thoughts, feelings, it's harder to exhibit compassion and acceptance of others when they do similar things. 
If you observe, you’ll often see what people “talk shit” about, they also do… Shadow work helps you recognize where you project onto others. 
Everything you are ashamed of is apart of normal human behavior and on the spectrum of the human experience.
Once you see it’s a part of you too, you can begin to integrate it and practice self-compassion, this will then lessen the trigger for you… making life a whole lot more peaceful.
Shadow work isn’t for the faint of heart.  It takes a lot of compassion for yourself and others, but ultimately, it’s freeing.  It helps release judgement of others. It helps you release judgement of yourself.  It helps you understand the root of why you reject and shame yourself and others.  It helps you become more accepting of where people are on their path. It helps you release the idea of absolutes, good and bad. And it facilitates deeper feelings of self-love.
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littlemoonwellness · 1 year
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*Disclaimer* This does not imply that someone who has abused you did not love you. It only means that the act of abuse is not love even though it may have been labeled as such. “I am doing this because I love you.” “I love you, but” There should not be a “but” after “I love you,” as it implies that love is conditional.    I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this passage from “All About Love.”    It isn’t our faults, really. We are shown how to love by our caretakers and them by theirs.    We live in a culture that shames love. That considers it weak. We also live in a culture that doesn’t fully understand what love even is.    You see the utter avoidance in modern day dating culture with “catching feelings” being a death sentence.   Cheating runs rampant and always seems to be justified in some way.. since the remorse and guilt is even harder to face.    People list off all the things they hate about their partner or their best friend and then label it as love.    It’s not love.    And it breaks my heart at how many of us believe it is.    Love is “the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.”    “The experience of genuine love - a combination of care, commitment, trust, knowledge, responsibility and respect.”   I don’t know how to love, truly. I still love with expectation. Which forms into bitterness and resentment when it’s not met. I’m aware of it and working to improve it. But through that I’m wanting to bring more awareness to love and loving, to talk about it more so it’s not so taboo.    We’re so scared to love because we believe that love hurts. It’s the abuse that we’ve been taught that coexists with love that hurts.    True love, the opposite of fear, will in fact set us free.
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littlemoonwellness · 1 year
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Trauma bond as a buzz word, but what is it? It is an emotional attachment that is developed out of a repeated cycle of emotional, mental, or physical abuse, devaluation, and intermittent positive reinforcement. It is similar to Stockholm Syndrome and is a type of survival strategy. It commonly occurs in the narcissist and codependent relationship.
Two sides of the same coin, the bond between the narcissist and the codependent (i.e. echoist, empath, people pleaser) can both be derived from a trauma response in childhood. Narcissistic traits or NPD, can be formed from trauma in childhood, as well as, inherited genetics and personality traits. Children who experience trauma often gravitate towards a fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response in order to survive. 
Narcissism can just an elaborated defense structure of the fight response, while the codependent (empath, echoist) can be an elaborated defense structure of the fawn response.
The trauma bond is formed through intermittent reinforcement. When abuse from a narcissist or any other abuser occurs, we move into a stress response. When that same person who has caused the trauma provides comfort intermittently, an attachment can form. We then look to the same person who caused our abuse for comfort and emotional support.
The codependent often has a strong fear of rejection and abandonment, hence a need to be chosen. The hot and cold behavior of a narcissist or abuser, creates an endless loop of addiction to the person who is hurting you, thus making it incredibly hard to leave the toxic or abusive cycle.
Understanding the psychology of addiction to an abuser is important in order to validate your experience and to remove guilt and shame from staying “too long” or questioning “why you even were in the relationship in the first place.”
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littlemoonwellness · 1 year
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Listening to respond, it's a natural human communication pattern. But when we focus too much on what we want to say, we often miss bids for connection. 
Most of us have a desire to be understood, to be accepted, to feel seen and validated. It's part of a basic human need to experience love. Listening is one of the best ways you can create deeper connections even if you don't agree with someone's belief, opinion, or stance.
It's not about who's right or wrong, it's not about critiquing or correcting someone's point of view. It's about support, holding space, and building trust.
Listening to someone is similar to forgiveness. You can forgive someone and not "condone" their behavior. You can listen to someone and not agree with their opinion or point of view. Surrounding yourself with people who only think the same as you creates an echo chamber. By surrounding yourself with differing opinions, it can lead to opportunities for growth and expanding your own world view. 
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littlemoonwellness · 1 year
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Take a moment to consider… that what if, everything is perfect right now? That YOU are perfect right now. That you don’t need to do more, be more, or change anything about you. That everything in your life is happening for you and not to you. What would that shift for you? Would that shift your mood? Your perspective? Your intention? Your approach? Perfectionism is a slippery slope, and something that our minds try to trick us into.  We’re not made to be perfect, we’re made to be human… to experience… to learn and to grow. Try to consider that exactly where you are in this moment is where you are meant to be. Your soul chose this path, it chose the people in your life, and it chose the lessons you were going to encounter. ⁣Shifting out of discouragement and defeat is hard when everything feels like it’s crumbing around us, but through acceptance we are able to transcend.
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littlemoonwellness · 1 year
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Do you know that wound was never yours to carry? 
It wasn’t your burden to bear. 
That wound was caused by someone else’s pain.
It was merely a projection of their past.
At one point in life, they were told or shown they were unlovable… and they believed it.
Triggers. 
We often ask how and why others can make us feel the way that they did. If I’m in control of my reality, why can what someone else did, affect me so much? 
Triggers are wounds, unhealed hurt, anger, and beliefs we carry about ourselves.  
When someone does something that causes an emotional reaction within us, we can begin to question what’s the origin? Where did that wound originate? In order to heal, you need to learn the starting point.
We tend to attract situations into our life that validate our beliefs. If you believe that you are not worthy, you will tend to subconsciously gravitate towards people and situations that will perpetuate that story for you.  Shifting belief patterns takes time and determination. If you have believed something for 30+ years of your life, then imagine how long it will take to rewrite that belief. The first step is acknowledgement and understanding. By understanding the origin, you can then begin to see how that story has played out throughout your life to validate the wound. 
Wounds take time to heal but understanding that a trigger is just an awareness mechanism will help in your reactions to other. It also brings ownership of your feelings back to you.  Until we heal ourselves, we risk the chance of continuing to project our pain onto others perpetuating the never-ending cycle of hurt people hurt people.
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littlemoonwellness · 1 year
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We’re made to be different. We’re made to be unique. No two snowflakes are the same. Your unique experience is a part of your purpose.  Your unique lessons are a part of your destiny.  The world needs what you have to offer.  Will some people judge you? Yes.  Will you trigger some people? Yes. But that’s going to happen anyway.  Think about your favorite experience with a business, a coach, a teacher, a therapist… what if that person never went into business because they were scared of what other people thought? You would have never worked with them or bought from them. They wouldn’t have had the impact on your life that they have today.  What if you’re depriving someone of an amazing experience with you? You’re meant to change lives. We all are.  But if you’re too scared to start, too scared to open yourself up to connection, love, intimacy, vulnerability, too scared what other people think… You could be depriving someone of the blessing that is YOU.
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littlemoonwellness · 2 years
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How many times in life have we given our power away?⁣ ⁣ How many times have we’ve accepted shaming for being who we are?⁣ ⁣ How many times have we taken rejection personally?⁣ ⁣ If only I was more ____ or did more of ____ , then they would have ____ or I would have ____ .⁣ ⁣ With all of these story lines playing on repeat in our minds, sometimes for years, we begin to contort ourselves. ⁣ ⁣ We shift who we are in order to be accepted.⁣ ⁣ We desperately seek out love from any source. ⁣ ⁣ Only to find the same story on repeat...⁣ ⁣ But why?⁣ ⁣ How long have you been giving your power away?⁣ ⁣ Allowing others acceptance of you to determine your worth...⁣ ⁣ Allowing others opinions and judgements to shape-shift you into the person you are today...⁣ ⁣ Allowing others needs to come first... ⁣ ⁣ Allowing others words to seep into your subconscious...⁣ ⁣ Taking your power back takes time. It takes understanding the root of your beliefs. Where did they come from? Are they yours? From there, you can begin to shift.⁣ ⁣ You can pick and choose the stories you believe. Just because they have been imparted to you, does not mean you need to make them yours. ⁣ ⁣ Even if they are yours, are the benefitting you?
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littlemoonwellness · 2 years
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More often than not, I find myself thinking about connection. ⁣ ⁣ What bonds souls together? ⁣ What separates them? ⁣ ⁣ What lessons have we been brought to learn through each other, through our togetherness and through our separateness?⁣ ⁣ Do two souls ever truly leave each other? ⁣ Or are they left in the subconscious forever to continue to learn from? ⁣ ⁣ Or are we just going to continue to encounter one another in another form in another lifetime? ⁣ ⁣ Why are some connections passing ships while others you can’t shake... either in the physical form or the mental and emotional space? ⁣ ⁣ I try to decode soul contracts wondering if they are ever truly understandable... or if there are parts of the lessons we will never know. ⁣ ⁣ I also question how much of a contract is residual from a past life. When someone takes up so much space in your consciousness, did they save your life previously? Were they a relative or a lifelong partner? Did they promise they would be with you forever and somehow meant it?⁣ ⁣ I often have visitations in dreams and always wake up wondering if it was truly a soul-to-soul experience or me just living out the stories in my subconscious. ⁣ ⁣ None of these questions have true answers... they are speculation and opinion, but I would love to hear your experiences and thoughts on soul connections, bonds, and contracts.
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littlemoonwellness · 2 years
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We all have wounds.⁣ ⁣Wounds from our mothers, our sisters, family and friends. We have wounds from those in school, through sports, at work, and other experiences. ⁣ ⁣ As we grow older, these wounds sometimes bury deep into our subconscious. We no longer acknowledge or see that we don’t trust other women. We don’t understand why we don’t fit in, and we shut ourselves off from being vulnerable and even trying. ⁣ ⁣ I’ve been hurt before...⁣ Betrayed. ⁣ Lied to. ⁣ Abandoned. ⁣ Rejected. ⁣ Made fun of. ⁣ Stabbed in the back. ⁣ Let down.⁣ Forgotten.⁣ Disrespected. ⁣ ⁣ We all carry these stories, and we all have participated in making others feel this way. ⁣ ⁣ But these narratives have the ability to be rewritten. ⁣ ⁣ I began attending women’s circles 10 years ago. They were not easy in the beginning. They were extremely intimidating, and I was scared to share myself and to be vulnerable. ⁣ ⁣ I wasn’t aware of the stories I held around women, the fears, the past traumas. They all came to the surface as I sat quietly in the corner at most gatherings. ⁣ ⁣ With time, this began to transform, and I began to open up. The beautiful thing about women’s circles is that as each woman shares vulnerably and rawly, she’s held by the other women. In these settings, you see yourself in the other women, going through what you are or have been through, opening up and exposing their shadows. And in this space, you can’t help but accept them for exactly who and where they are in their journey. And in turn, you learn to accept yourself for exactly the same. ⁣ ⁣ Fast forward 10 years to the present, and I have felt the call to want to share this experience with other women. To bring them together and to help rewrite their stories of sisterhood. To strengthen the bonds, foster connection, and to help facilitate self acceptance through acceptance of each other. ⁣ ⁣ We don’t need to be enemies or fearful of one another. We can support each other and show compassion and empathy. ⁣
Women’s Healing Circles offer support, guidance, and a safe space to be heard for all women. www.littlemoonwellness.com
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littlemoonwellness · 2 years
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How much of our life is real? ⁣ ⁣ And how much of our life is perception? Imagination? Our internal narrative? Making assumptions? Applying past wounds to our current experience? ⁣ ⁣ How much of our life is made up of worry and fear? Not allowing certain paths to unfold because we’re scared of what may happen.⁣ ⁣ How much of our life is thinking about the future?⁣ ⁣ And how much of our life is replaying the past?⁣ ⁣ How much of our life has an underlying tone of “I’ll be happy when...”⁣ ⁣ Bringing yourself into the here and now allows you to fully immerse yourself in your experience, every experience. ⁣ ⁣ Take time to appreciate where you are on your journey today. ⁣ ⁣ The value of presence is peace. ⁣
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littlemoonwellness · 2 years
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Have you stepped out of your head and into your heart today? 
So many of us operate from our minds and not from our heart space. ⁣ ⁣ We have rounded our shoulders to protect our hearts and have built our walls up very high. 
We don’t allow ourselves to be vulnerable, thus avoiding true connection and intimacy. ⁣ ⁣ Heart centered action comes from a place of unconditional love. ⁣ ⁣ We act without expectation, without reciprocation, without benefit. ⁣ ⁣ We follow our intuitive impulses that guide us on the right path, toward what we love and value, and toward aligned connections. ⁣ ⁣ By stepping out of our minds, we step out of defense mode and out of protection mode.⁣ ⁣ By opening up our hearts, we open ourselves up to receiving, sharing, connection, and to love. ⁣ ⁣ Take a moment and place a hand on your chest. ⁣ ⁣ Breathe into this space, feeling it expand. ⁣ ⁣ Do this for as long as it resonates and until you can sense what it feels like to operate from this place.
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littlemoonwellness · 2 years
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We need to disconnect to reconnect.
Connection to oneself, connection to nature, connection to something greater are all important parts of human existence.⁣ ⁣ We spend so much of our time constantly plugged in, constantly on, constantly doing. ⁣ ⁣ But in this space we tend to miss things. ⁣ ⁣ We miss messages and cues, intuitive hits, serendipitous meetings and guidance. 
We miss true connection and feelings of fulfillment and gratitude. ⁣ ⁣ We forget what’s truly important. ⁣ ⁣ Have you ever escaped reality for a day to come back completely refreshed?⁣ ⁣ Have you ever spent a few days in nature and come back wondering why you spend so much money on material items? Or why you even care about money at all?⁣ ⁣ Have you ever put your phone away when spending time with those you care about? Sat with them, fully present, making memories?⁣ ⁣ Have you sat with a question and tried to understand the answer without immediately turning to Google?⁣ ⁣ Have you tried connecting to your inner knowing? Before reaching out to someone for advice? Strengthening your connection to your intuition and building your trust with yourself?⁣ ⁣ We are innately intelligent creatures. ⁣ ⁣ Our ancestors knew so much from spending time connecting to the land, connecting to the moon, and connecting to their higher power. 
They allowed their inner wisdom to be their guide and trusted what they knew to be true. ⁣ ⁣ You have the power to tap into that same wisdom. It is always alive within you.
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littlemoonwellness · 2 years
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So often we find ourselves repeating patterns, lessons and mistakes, stuck in an endless cycle we don’t know how to break. 
Our realities are based on the stories we tell ourselves, our beliefs. 
We then naturally gravitate towards people and situations who validate these beliefs back to us and then in turn we create our realities. 
If our beliefs are true, we feel safe. ⁣ ⁣ If we want to change our realities, we must first change our beliefs. 
Then we must learn the tools needed to exist within our new reality.
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