Helen and Aphrodite

Do not provoke me, wicked girl, lest I drop you in anger, and hate you as much as I now terribly love you. - Iliad 3.13-14 (trans. Caroline Alexander)

a repaint of a concept i posted last year - the original art is still on my blog and it still gets notes which is driving me insane. so anyway here’s a better version!!

“What did you say, to make him try to kill you?”

Concept: Les Misérables (1862) but if Lemony Snicket was the author Example: to Enjolras–darling, dearest, dead.

Chapter One

If you’re seeking a story whose tragic beginning is followed by a less-tragic middle and an inevitably uplifting denouement, this book should be avoided at all costs. The approximately six hundred and fifty-five thousand words that are about to follow contain the tales of several bright and brave young people who each meet an unfortunate end and several less-bright, less-young people, including myself, who unfortunately survive to recount the events. “Unfortunate” is a word which here means “luckless” and “miserable”, the latter definition having been used for the title of this novel, designed to dissuade you, the misguided reader, from continuing past the cover page.

There are other techniques I have employed in this book that are designed to stop you from yourself becoming miserable by reading this story in its entirety. Firstly, the physical novel, which as you may notice shares the same dimensions and weight as a standard housing brick, for the utmost inconvenience. Secondly, I have included several hundred pages of information which are both uninteresting and have little bearing on the grander story in the meager hope that you will come to your senses and place this novel back on your shelf or better, in a lit fireplace, where I solemnly believe it belongs. 

For example, the use of candlesticks. The word “candlestick” is derived from the purpose of the item itself, that is an object, most often metal, commonly silver, in which one can stick a candle. Many dictionaries define “candlestick” as  “an often ornamental holder for securing a candle or candles”. “Candleholder” is another, less commonly used word for “candlestick”. Candlesticks come in a variety of forms and sizes, and can contain a variety of numbers of candles often demarcated by their names-a “trikirion” contains three candles and a “menorah” contains seven. If you have had the fortitude-a word which here means “strength of mind”-to make it this far through this dull paragraph, it may be of some note to say that the candlesticks with which we concern ourselves in this story are single candlesticks, that may each contain one candle. 

Thirdly, not only have I named the main character in a redundant manner-Jean Valjean-I have decided to tell you here that Jean Valjean perishes on the final page of this novel. That is my story’s conclusion.

With all this information in mind, and having the ending already known, I now give you my final warning and pleading suggestion to forget about this book. Put it down. Hide it away. Bury it in a cemetery late at night with the assistance of a man named Fauchelevant. Forget it ever existed. For now the story must begin.

It begins in a town called Digne, on a grey and dreary night under the roof of a very kind but elderly and poor man, the bishop of the town, whose name was Myriel.

Just rediscovered potentially the funniest thing I’ve written in recent memory

brainworms

"Although this detail has no connection whatever with the real substance of what we are about to relate" two sentences into les mis gets me every time. It really just sums up the brick experience perfectly

I love subjects and topics

Genuinely, I don’t know how else to get the word out, but I feel like if your home-cooked dinners don’t taste right, you're missing either paprika, sugar, butter, or chicken bouillon.

Hundreds of Jewish anti-war demonstrators have been arrested during a Passover seder that doubled as a protest in New York, as they shut down a major thoroughfare to pray for a ceasefire and urge the Senate majority leader, Chuck Schumer, to end US military aid to Israel.

The 300 or so arrests took place on Tuesday night at Grand Army Plaza, on the doorstep of Schumer’s Brooklyn residence, where thousands of mostly Jewish New Yorkers gathered for the seder, a ritual that marked the second night of the holiday celebrated as a festival of freedom by Jews worldwide.

The seder came just before the US Senate resoundingly passed a military package that includes $26bn for Israel.

Happy Passover from Rudy Giuliani

The flip side of the post-World War II cries of “Never again” was an unspoken “Never before.” The insistence on lifting the Holocaust out of history, the failure to recognize these patterns, and the refusal to see where the Nazis fit inside the arc of colonial genocides have all come at a high cost. The countries that defeated Hitler did not have to confront the uncomfortable fact that Hitler had taken pointers and inspiration on race-making and on human containment from them, leaving their innocence not only undisturbed but also significantly strengthened by what was indeed a righteous victory.

Naomi Klein, Doppelganger

everyone hate my loquacious swag. its always "why did you make this sentence so long" and "why do you use so many commas and em dashes" and never "how did you come up with run on sentence" or "writing that run on sentence looked fun"

the tardis wiki has a killcount page??

trying to do my job but unfortunately i remember 🧠💭 when we 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 were drivin👭🚗......drivin in your 👈😍 car 🚘 .......speed⏱ so fast 🏎 🏁 i felt like i was drunk 🍷🍷🍷🥴️.........city lights 🌃🌃 lay out before us 🌃🛣 and your arm 💪 felt nice 😉💦 wrapped round my shoulder 🫂❤️️ and iiIII👁IIIiiiii had a feeling💗 that i belonged 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💞👩‍👩‍👧 .........ii👁👁yiIiiiiiii...had a feeling💖 i👁 could be someone 🏡👩‍👩‍👧 .... be someone🕵💋 ..........be 🐝 someone🥺️👉👈 .... 🤒🛌🥀💀🪦

"𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦? 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦"

Yeah im using MCR lyrics in the year 2023

theyre going . to your moms house !!!

fine to use as a banner with credit :)