This was so hard to watch. Throughout this pregnancy we got to watch the joy and anxiousness of new parents. Then they are hit with this news. Their whole world came crashing down for a while there. Boy only because of the issues going on with the baby but also because of their religious differences.

April, as a person who is highly religious and pro-life, was understandably distraught over this decision the end the life of their unborn. I never knew induced termination was even a thing. April tried to push Jackson away, but he showed up every single time. He was not bothered by here beliefs, he just wanted to talk about it. At the same time, I love how he also was able to give her space when she needed it most. So that she could come to terms with what was happening on her own. Jackson even took that time to pray on April's behalf. This was very hard to watch, but also beautiful at the same time.

I have so many thoughts about Derek Shepherd, especially in this episode. Ever since he turned down that job in Washington D.C., he has been brooding, and looking for unique ways to blame others. Everyone has autonomy over their own bodies. Meredith had the right to choose to stay in Seattle while went to D.C, that was her decision. Derek decided, on his own, to stay because he was going to miss his family. THAT was HIS decision. No one forced him, but yet he walked around as if he had a gun pointed at his head. He needs Meredith to be thankful and grateful to him. Now, I understand in a marriage there are compromises to be made but they had already decided to let Meredith have this year to try to progress in her field. 

Derek has poison in his veins and its leaking out unto the people around him. He spoke about loving having sisters but as soon as his sister was in a position of power over him, he was nothing but insubordinate. In this episode, he had an opportunity to stand up for his sister and show he cared, but instead he let is jealousy take over. Yes, he did correct himself later on in the episode but that should have never happened to begin with. I was proud of Amelia when Derek stated the quote above, all she said was “We call that rock bottom.” I sure that gave him a little perspective on his life. 

I had a sneaking suspicion that the Washington offer would find its way back into the show. It was an incredible opportunity, and honestly he deserves to give it a shot. Meredith also deserves to have a chance to do what she wants as well. I love that he left, not only because I find him annoying, but also because as Meredith stated, he was never going to be happy in Seattle knowing what he gave up to be there. In a relationship, one partner does not have to dim their light so the other can shine. Both partners should be able to shine separately, but have come together and blind the world. 

This is so crazy, from the moment we meet Dr. Webber he radiated fatherly vibes. All the interns looked up to him professionally and personally. Meredith, as resistant as she is to everything, eventually took to him as a father figure. He has never stated it but you can tell he wanted to be a father. At least that's the vibe I always got from him. Now, after over 30 years, he finds he probably had a daughter. Then she rejects him when he tells her. I could just feel his heart breaking. A part of him, has been walking around without him there to help mold her. Help take care of her. Without him ever having the chance to love her. That is heartbreaking to watch.

Sometimes the future changes quickly and completely, and we're left with only the choice of what to do next. We can choose to be afraid of it, to stand there trembling not moving assuming the worst that can happen or we step forward into the unknown and assume it will be brilliant.

Christina Yang

I love this!!!!!! That's right affirm your friend. Remind her who she is.

This friendship was so complex but also so rewarding. When I first started Greys I didn't even think they were going to like each other. Their friendship grew more and through each tragedy. They knew what each other was feeling without words. I don't know if Christina is gone for good, but as complicated as she was Meredith was her person. Everyone deserves to have "a person," someone who understands them to their core.

I am not a fan of Derek Sheppard. BUT I will say I love the way these two love each other. They completely understand one another. They have navigated enough trials to know when to push or when take a step back. Derek just called Meredith a genius for planning a champagne toast to mask her jealousy. He did not lecture her or call her a bad person. He knew who she was in that moment and accepted it. Even when they are out of sorts they still can communicate with ease almost non verbally. Minus that whole almost getting divorced thing. I'm talking about since then.

Just because I'm the one who said it was time doesn't mean this is easier for me.

Christina yang

These two have proven to me that sometimes love just isn't enough. They clearly want two different things out of life, but their love keeps drawing them back to one another. It does not make any sense at all. I find myself simultaneously hoping they can work it and be together, while also wishing they leave each other alone. I was so upset when Owen dumped Emmy just because Christina decided to slip into his bed. Ugh.

We know that every connection matters. Every connection is crucial and when one is broken, it usually means that the damage has been done. This system of connection compels us to act, choose and behave... sometimes seemingly against our own will, but it is not random at all. It is the map of who we are. We will work to understand ourselves... solve the puzzle of how all the connections work and how all the pieces fit.

Derek Sheppard