But how did I murder her? Is that how men do murders? Do men go to commit a murder as I went then? I will tell you some day how I went! Did I murder the old woman? I murdered myself, not her! I crushed myself once for all, forever.… But it was the devil that killed that old woman, not I.

Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment

It seems that the desire to end beautiful things while they are yet beautiful is a general feeling…several years ago a niece to whom I was extremely close committed suicide in her 21st year, I too felt somehow thankful that she had died while still beautiful. This was because although at first glance a fastidious girl, there was about her an air of danger that would shatter, a worrying sense that she would descend headlong down into damnation, and I felt that I could not bear to witness the rest of her life.

Sakaguchi Ango, Discourse on Decadence

aki hayakawa - chainsaw man PV 2

Crime and Punishment was a masterpiece

“Every one who wants the supreme freedom must dare to kill himself. He who dares to kill himself has found out the secret of the deception. There is no freedom beyond; that is all, and there is nothing beyond.”

—

Fyodor Dostoevsky, Demons

"The literal meaning of life is whatever prevents you from killing yourself"

Albert Camus

he aint bulletproof now is he, senpai

sorry i called you a fucking idiot i was trying to flirt

“Full freedom will come only when it makes no difference whether to live or not to live. That’s the goal for everyone.”

—

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, “The Demons" 

Beast manga is finished but still can't move on from this specific panel....pain.

“When I pretended to be precocious, people started the rumor that I was precocious. When I acted like an idler, rumor had it I was an idler. When I pretended I couldn’t write a novel, people said I couldn’t write. When I acted like a liar, they called me a liar. When I acted like a rich man, they started the rumor I was rich. When I feigned indifference, they classed me as the indifferent type. But when I inadvertently groaned because I was really in pain, they started the rumor that I was faking suffering. The world is out of joint.”

—

Dazai Osamu, The Setting Sun

"oh dazai look your boyfriend is here to save me"

“You are interesting.

Ok! I promise that you will get out of here alive.”

// beast ch 21

Can we just talk about how much Dazai trust Atsushi and Akutagawa. The fact that he believes they can together fight guild and even Fyodor and protect the world for Odasaku even though he can't keep on living to ensure that.

But I think Dazai himself could have protected the 'book' but the fact that Odasaku in this universe doesn't see him as a friend must have pushed him to end his life for the sake of Oda's.

However...this chapter broke me.

Crying over this panel