It's been over a year since I've made a journal entry. Been doing a lot, I mean A LOT soul searching. I can now confidently say while standing tall with the "S" on my chest, I've found peace. Peace, wisdom, and grace. Took a looong time but here I am. But I couldn't do it alone.
1% of it was family and friends who lent a helping hand, listening ear, and words of wisdom is what kept me from dropping deeper. The 99% was and is I know you Earth-natives don't always like to here this but it's the truth, finding comfort with your Earth's god Jesus. I've truly never known such release, peace, love, patience, and grace until I met him. A truly good god.
Finally, everything is lighter and brighter. My outlook and whole mind/heart has changed. And it feels amazing.
I'm finally free. I find it ironic for me to say because I can mover faster than a speeding bullet and fly among the stars. But this: This is TRUE freedom.
I am a living testament that as long as you keep moving forward even when you have no hope left, you will find it eventually. Whether through Jesus or talking it out with your loved ones, peace will be found. Just keep moving. One step, one micro-step, one nano-step at a time.
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans." Romans 8:26
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12
Could you please please please PLEASE continue your au which left on such an amazing cliffhanger that I soooo wanna know what happens next I know you said it was the last one but pleeeease 🥺🥺🥺
You’re adorable and I’m touched by the compliment but nope, that was the very final one. XD I really don’t know where to go with this AU!
prompt: Elsa is injured in battle and badass Anna with her sword come to the rescue
The villain cackled like a maniac. “So, my Queen… What are you going to do, uh?”
They stepped to Elsa’s trembling body on the ground.
“Throw little crystals at me?” They said as they stepped on Elsa’s arm.
Elsa screamed in pain.
“Entertain me to death with a talking snowman?” They said as they hit her abdomen with the other foot.
Elsa grunted. She couldn’t move an inch, and felt terrible everywhere. She closed her eyes, not even daring to think the amount of parts where she was bleeding.
“You’re so pathetic. What a shame of your magic powers. You don’t even know how much you…” They turned Elsa’s face around by a nudge of the shoe. “…disgust me.”
They cringed, then sighed. There was a long silence, only punctuated with Elsa’s sharp breathings and whines.
After a long stare, the villain shrugged and conjured an elemental sword. “Such a pity. No one will even miss you.”
They raised their sword, preparing to stab her down.
Suddenly, a move attracted their attention on their left. They barely had time to jump away when a blade swung one centimeter away from their face.
They stepped away, watching who just appeared.
“Step away from my sister, you PSYCHO.”
The voice was so different from the last time they heard it. Her eyes were on fire, and her pupils dark with the most intense anger. But there was some fear in it as well, and they decided to play on it.
“And here comes the princess” they mocked with a smirk. “What do you think you’re doing? You don’t even know how to aim. You missed me.”
“I won’t next time”, deadpan answered Anna. She wielded her sword, her eyes so deeply staring at theirs that it was scary, even for them.
They were so wrong. The redhead was everything but scared. The fear in her eyes only was when she saw Elsa on the ground. But after quickly checking that she was alive - and Elsa smiled a bit in happiness and pride to see her - all worry had left her gaze to be replaced by power.
They shivered a bit. “Come show what you got, then” they teased.
Anna lifted an eyebrow, playing their game by rebounding their threat at them. She smirked. “Come yourself, coward.”
The Princess positioned herself in a way to protect Elsa with her own body. She did another reel of the wrist, her sword singing in the air.
The villain ran to her with a scream of rage, but Anna had no trouble countering their blade with hers.
They lost their balance and tripped a few meters away.
“So cute.” smiled Anna in a bit of a devilish way. Her face suddenly went darker. “My turn now.”
prompt: Elsa is injured in battle and badass Anna with her sword come to the rescue
The villain cackled like a maniac. “So, my Queen… What are you going to do, uh?”
They stepped to Elsa’s trembling body on the ground.
“Throw little crystals at me?” They said as they stepped on Elsa’s arm.
Elsa screamed in pain.
“Entertain me to death with a talking snowman?” They said as they hit her abdomen with the other foot.
Elsa grunted. She couldn’t move an inch, and felt terrible everywhere. She closed her eyes, not even daring to think the amount of parts where she was bleeding.
“You’re so pathetic. What a shame of your magic powers. You don’t even know how much you…” They turned Elsa’s face around by a nudge of the shoe. “…disgust me.”
They cringed, then sighed. There was a long silence, only punctuated with Elsa’s sharp breathings and whines.
After a long stare, the villain shrugged and conjured an elemental sword. “Such a pity. No one will even miss you.”
They raised their sword, preparing to stab her down.
Suddenly, a move attracted their attention on their left. They barely had time to jump away when a blade swung one centimeter away from their face.
They stepped away, watching who just appeared.
“Step away from my sister, you PSYCHO.”
The voice was so different from the last time they heard it. Her eyes were on fire, and her pupils dark with the most intense anger. But there was some fear in it as well, and they decided to play on it.
“And here comes the princess” they mocked with a smirk. “What do you think you’re doing? You don’t even know how to aim. You missed me.”
“I won’t next time”, deadpan answered Anna. She wielded her sword, her eyes so deeply staring at theirs that it was scary, even for them.
They were so wrong. The redhead was everything but scared. The fear in her eyes only was when she saw Elsa on the ground. But after quickly checking that she was alive - and Elsa smiled a bit in happiness and pride to see her - all worry had left her gaze to be replaced by power.
They shivered a bit. “Come show what you got, then” they teased.
Anna lifted an eyebrow, playing their game by rebounding their threat at them. She smirked. “Come yourself, coward.”
The Princess positioned herself in a way to protect Elsa with her own body. She did another reel of the wrist, her sword singing in the air.
The villain ran to her with a scream of rage, but Anna had no trouble countering their blade with hers.
They lost their balance and tripped a few meters away.
“So cute.” smiled Anna in a bit of a devilish way. Her face suddenly went darker. “My turn now.”
Is there a thread or place where I can read all of the "Emergence" chapters? I love the way you perfectly capture Jennifer Lee's interpretation of Frozen characters in your works. Not a single dull, drawn out, purposeless, moment in each chapter. Nothing was/is forced and each transition was done naturally. I give you highest of praises in Frozen fanfic!
ERMAGERD such amazing compliments, I feel stabbed with love at each of your sentences!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :’D
This truly means a lot. The fact you love every bit of it and think it’s deeply into character with writing quality makes my heart flutter!!!!
I posted the whole fanfic (which is complete) on fanfiction.net, and if you love my style, you should check out Untangling the Frozen Knots. Have good readings! :D
More precisely, the unexpected end of my journey. Life is a long long time and a lot can happen in between. Good and bad. To have your future, dreams, friends, family ripped away from you without any of your consent is terrifying. Sure I’ll be going to a better place but what about all the promises I’ve made here that still need to be fulfilled?
Personally for me, I feel responsible to carry out a full life for the ones who couldn’t or didn’t have a chance to. Whether illness, unfortunate events, or even ultimately their fault. Though I don’t even know their names, faces, or who they were, I feel like I’m carrying them with me..
Another reason why I get so enraged when people younger than me are taken too soon. It’s not fair.
I know I don’t owe them anything. I know I’m not responsible for them. But my heart hurts for them thus I have to do this. I have to keep going for them.
Maybe that’s why I fear the end so much. My end. The promises I’ve made to them and myself ends with it. Anytime. Any place. Anyway. No matter how much willpower and spirit I’ve got, it will only take me so far..
I’ve got an update on my bad obsession: it’s a bad obsession and not love. So dealing with it has been better now. Sure there’s some days I need my “fix” that sounds horrible but I swear to rao it’s not but I’ve been able to move on and further and further away from her. Little by little.
But of course when you remove a bad thing from your mind, another one will wiggle its way in. As life goes.
I used to be teach martial arts a kryptonian teaching Earth natives physically without hurting them or cheating? what? to these kids, boys and girls, and was the second man they looked up to. In terms of skill. Being trans-masculine, it made me feel manly and good. Like being the “man of the house”. But as time goes by, the boys started to get growth spurts, deeper voices, and yeah.. must I go on. These boys were slowly turning into men and seeing that, hurt me.
I’ll never go through the boy to man journey like a cisgender male will. Never be able to natural pump my own testosterone through me. Never be able to have a male growth spurt. Always am going to be same or shorter than girls. Yes girls it crushes our masculinity when you’re taller than us. Never be able to have that boy childhood experience. Never hear, “I remember when you were just a little boy!”. Always have to worry when to break it to girls who like me that I’m trans. I’ll never be able to give my future wife kids made up of our dna. I’ll never be able to naturally please her. And here are these boys. The boys I looked after as the man having everything I’ve ever wanted-needed, happening naturally to them without them even knowing it.
I would have to pay $100,000+, lose some people I cared about in my life, make my body go under the knife with a chance of complications, feel the stares and thoughts when people find out I’m trans, and I’d still only get a slice of the life experience that I long for.
Do you know what it’s like to never be your parent’s son? Never be my sister’s little brother? Never be my grandfather’s grandson? Never my relative’s nephew? To always be pitied? To be treated and avoided like a illness? To be literally disassembled and know that this how it’s going to be all the way to my grave!?
Very little makes me happy nowadays and it’s just progressively getting worst. The thing I used to enjoy is nothing but an empty pattern. Being with dogs makes me forget I’m depressed temporarily but it always comes back. Even being able to drink my favourite tea whenever I want is beginning to taste bland. Games and movies always reminds me how useless I feel because I like heroic action genre.
It’s like I’m continuing to move forward but going deeper in the dark. The less I see, the more hopeless, worthless, and stupid I feel. Stumbling over my own feet and not even knowing if it was worth it.
It’s funny how many depressing entries I’ve made because I still want to be that guy that brings happiness, hope, and light into peoples hearts. Even though I don’t have any of that myself. I guess my hope is for anyone lost, hurting, depressed to find their way into the light, find their happiness, and just to find their way out and never come back to this dark pit. I wish this dreadful feeling upon no one. Not even my enemies.
Sometimes I want to just cry. But I’ve cried so much that it’s just another pointless act. I sometimes want to just sleep and live in my dream reality even if it is a lie. I find working out enjoyable I guess. The pain reminds me that I’m still alive and ironically, the pain makes me forget my pain. Even for a little while.
Frustration, anger, jealousy, longing, tired, and hopeless. These are blocks that are continuing to plague me. Eating away at me til one day there’ll be nothing left.
You know you’re at an all time low depressed when you’re only 22 years old and get nothing from the internet. Not a chuckle. Not a single reaction.
Honestly, I hate being depressed. So why don’t I just “stop” being depressed? It’s a parasite that will cling onto you no matter what. Sometimes I forget about it in the moment with friends but it will always make its way back once the stimulation is over.
I just want to live my best life but no one is willing to give me a chance.