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koostarcandy · 2 months

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what kinda crack was I on

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pairing: jungkook x fem!reader

summary: jungkook comes in and out of your life like a recurring side character in a 90s show. you wish that he would stay, just like the main character that he is.

genre: fluff, angst, slight smut, this is the "she fell but he fell harder" trope ;)

wc: around 2k

a/n: loosely inspired by the visitor by iu and cornelia street by ts. also, a scene from nevertheless made its way in here. thanks for helping me out, art (@onlyswan)! ♡♡

you know he's near when the ruckus and gushing of compliments from blushy 1st years becomes louder.

boisterous laughter and sounds of creaking shoes against the floor comes nearer, you go closer to the wall like its instinct. you will yourself to not look at him, knowing you'll lose the battle either way. his tattooed hand effortlessly holds his thick psychology text, stacked with a big book of cell and molecular biology.

that's weird, you think. what business would he have with a reference book like that when he's a psychology major?

he's coming closer, bunny smile growing bigger at the sight of you. "i found this in the library," he says. you're surprised, this isn't in your head, he's actually talking to you for once.

so nonchalant, the way he says he knows you were looking all over for this particular book.

so straightforward, the way he puts the book in your hands, his warm and large hand brushing with your cold and clammy one.

so coquettish, his wink and slight smirk, quietly telling you to look at the sticky note he pasted in the index of the book.

and he's gone. without a trace, without even a hint of a shadow. just like those nights.

you open your eyes, feeling slightly elated. you feel sore but unusually happy. your hand goes out to your side instinctively, for some unknown reason. you turn to half of a perfectly made bed, pillow and covers seemingly untouched. not like a certain someone practically fucked you into the bed, his hands all over you. your hands had to grab onto something, his words making you feel like you were in another dimension.

"what's the hurry, hmm?" he responds to your pleas to go faster already, kisses trailing from your chest to your neck, "we've got all the time in the world, sweetheart."

he seems to be enjoying this, you note. he holds you and handles you in ways which are beyond your imagination. his fast paced thrusts and smoldering gazes make your eyes roll to the back of your head, his wandering hands going down again. he touches you like you're the most precious and fragile gem he's ever seen, occasionally tucking your hair behind your ear, paired with kisses all over your face.

you shake your head, miffed that you're still thinking about last friday night. and the nights before. its tuesday now and today was the first time he had ever talked to you in a while, putting aside the fact he had whisked you away from the library, saying he had enough of studying and planned a night of netflixing and chilling, willingly providing all the snacks you needed. he had pinned you in classic style against your front door, hands against your head and needy lips on yours.

you walk to the library, the place where you can trust to find solace. you can vividly recall the time jungkook had randomly proposed a study date in the library after finding out you were in the same mandatory class for communicative english, practically revolving around you until you had accepted it and told him you'll help him. that was the first time you had seen a peek of the real jungkook, always munching on a snack or sipping on a sweet drink. he was remarkably clever, wondering why he had even asked you for help.

settling down in a corner where you're sure no one will bother and you're sure you can get some work, you finally open the big book of cell and molecular biology, fingers mindlessly flipping quickly until you reach the index. there lies a light green sticky note, with the words, "let's study again, fr. no netflix and chill this time ;)" neatly scrawled.

jungkook knows he's left you feeling utterly clueless, glancing at your lone figure at a corner in the library. the soft sunlight streaming from behind you make your whole existence seem unreal. you're bopping your head to the music blasting in your ears, taylor swift maybe? he thinks, recalling the vinyls you had propped up on your desk.

he knows he's not supposed to do this to you, he was specifically warned not to. his friends had said you were a sensitive being, never really interacting with anyone unless you were approached by someone. your silent hard work was never left unnoticed, becoming prey for people who have no intentions of passing their degree with effort. maybe that's what they suspect, jungkook muses, guessing his hyungs think he's approaching you for that sole reason.

but why did it have to be you?

you, with your quiet nature and alluring aura. you're always seen on campus, the library, cafeteria and classes your usual haunts. whenever your eyes meet his, it curves into polite half-moons, pretty lips turning into a graceful smile. you're almost like an angel, flitting in and out of his vision. he can't help but admire you, eyes trailing over your attractive stature.

maybe you felt his gaze or you just happened to look his way. whatever it is, he can't bear to look away from you, your eyes bearing an unreadable emotion. he reluctantly breaks away when a book is shoved in his hands, "developing emotional competence. is this the book you wanted, dear?" the old librarian asks jungkook kindly. he nods, following her to finish the process of borrowing it.

he can't leave without looking at you again, even it's the back of your head, hair tied into a pretty knot, a few strands falling out. your shirt falls off the shoulder, his plaid shirt, jungkook realizes. he leaves the library, feeling oddly exhilarated, feeling even more excited to see you in the evening.

"you can touch darling, you know that."

"jungkook stop it, that sounds wrong!"

he chuckles at your cheeks coloring, tattooed hand slowly caressing your bare calf. your eyebrows are furrowed in concentration, frown lines creasing your forehead and he smooths out your lines, eliciting a small smile from you. you're quickly sketching his muscles on paper, the sound of pencil gliding over paper a lilting lullaby for jungkook's ears.

jungkook's currently shirtless, tattooed arm around you for support. your soft request of, "can i draw you for my anatomy class?" and your pretty eyes had him melting, not really expecting himself to strip himself for study purposes. he had settled on your cloud of a couch, spreading his legs immediately. he patted the space he left in between, silently asking you to sit with him. you could never say no to him.

he peeks into the drawing pad, impressed at your skills. you're erasing and defining his left arm muscles, small arrows and handwriting indicating the parts. you drop the pencil and pad on your lap, breaking your knuckles and stretching your arms. "aigoo, my model student," jungkook praises, linking his fingers with yours, kissing your knuckles, "you've worked hard today as well," he says to your hands, massaging them. you wonder if he does this to every other person he hooks up with. does he hold their hands with his supple ones, kissing each of their knuckles? does he keep as their drawing materials aside, pulling them impossibly closer? does he effortlessly carry them to their bed, laying them oh-so-gently on their pillow?

you're on your bed now, you realize. jungkook's kissing you like you're the answer to all his questions, fingers gently gripping your neck. he kisses you like he wants to commit you to his memory, pulling you up so you're sitting on his strong thighs. your eyes almost roll back when you recall the last time you were in this position.

"eyes on me, pretty girl," he murmurs into this kiss, pulling apart to gaze at your siren eyes, always luring him in. "we don't have to do anything," he says firmly, "you could talk about cupcakes and sprinkles and rainbows, i swear i'll listen to you." you chuckle, tucking his hair and fixing it up, not a least bit sorry in making it messy.

"what brought that on?" you ask him, trying to figure out at what point of your impromptu make out session did he read your mind. he gently puts you on your bed and your heart almost drops, if it weren't for his hands still on you.

"i feel like we haven't talked about what this whole...thing is," jungkook admits, surprised at his hands fidgeting nervously on your lap.

you think you can hear your own heart break when you say, "it can be anything you want," knowing his anything could mean hooking up for atleast a week and then ghosting you, never to be seen again.

"but that's the thing, i don't want it to be just anything," he says earnestly, "i hate that this sounds cliché but i want this to be something nice," he grips your hands, inching closer to you.

a loud clap of thunder startles you, flinching and glancing at the rapidly intensifying rain. you look back at jungkook, whose doe eyes still bore into yours. "you should go now, you know before the rain becomes worser." you turn away from him, hands feeling peculiarly empty.

you don't hear shuffling behind you. you don't see him walking past you to pick up his shirt and wear it, taking his bag and leaving like he wants. "don't make me do things i don't want to do," a strong arm curls around you, head leaning on your shoulder. you look down at his hand fidgeting with the hem of your oversized t-shirt. he isn't making any moves to get you back to bed, slow breathing tickling the back of your neck.

you reluctantly push yourself back to bed, leaning against the headrest. jungkook doesn't make any advances to touch you, despite being so close to you. "i like what we're doing now," you say truthfully, "the study dates, long nights and your random cups of coffee while i'm in the library," he smiles, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"but?"

"there isn't one. i'm just scared."

his wandering and awkward gaze is on you immediately, eyebrows scrunched in question. "i've heard what you do and i'm terrified of that happening to me," you say frankly.

"i like you too much to do that," jungkook says sincerely. you look up from your twiddling thumbs, wide eyes on his honest ones.

"you've been so nice to me and i've done horrible things and yet you're still not pushing me out the door," he says, lips turning downwards.

"i want to stay in your life," he continues, "if you'd let me, of course."

"am i dreaming or are you actually making me breakfast?"

you smile, flipping the pancake and look at jungkook waddling sleepily, arms immediately around you. "come back to bed, we have so much to catch up on," he mumbles into your shoulder.

you put the last pancake on the stack, wiping your hands, "what do we have to catch up on?"

"we stopped anatomy halfway through last night," he reminds you, turning you around and lifting you up so you're on the counter.

you roll your eyes at his cheekiness, looking down at his crinkled eyes and bunny smile. he nuzzles into your neck, hands wrapped around you tightly. you never thought you'd see him like this, beyond the wildest of your midnight dreams. he's real and you hope he never disappears, always wrapped around you like how he is right now.

coaxing you to come back to bed, sweet kisses from your shoulder to your neck and finally onto your lips. he holds you like you'll vanish from his sight, large hand splayed on the small of your back, tattooed hand cupping your face tenderly.

he kisses you like its the last time he'll see you, warm hands slipping under your t-shirt and staying there, nothing more and nothing less. you wrap your legs around his lithe waist and he whisks you away to your bedroom, your happy giggles filling your tiny abode.

pt time: @armys-dna ; @junsai-tree ; @soobhyun ; @shatzkrinslinzki ; @highly-functioning-mitochondria ; @cherishoshi ; @fragmentof-indifference

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