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Todoroki Enji's atonement arc: observations, ramblings and speculations (Part 2)

Welcome to part 2 of my “Todoroki Enji’s atonement arc: observations, ramblings and speculations” meta. Part 2 will make more sense if you read part 1 first, so I recommend you to do so.

In case you really don't feel like going through part 1, I'll tell you in it I went through what are assumed to be the steps of Todoroki Enji’s redemption arc, and noted why they don’t seem to work so well.

Now we’re going to dig into…

IN THE END WHAT ARE WE LOOKING AT?

Most of the story so far didn’t look as if it has been set up to shows us Enji walking a redemption path in regard to his family, as originally his goal was merely to become a better hero, fitting of the title of number 1.

So I might be wrong but my guess is that what the story aimed to show us so far wasn’t his redemption path, but how Enji came to the realization he has to atone to his family not because this means he’ll be a better Hero, but because he has wronged them and he truly regrets doing so.

Long story short, STEP 2 IS THE GOAL of Enji’s arc, not the beginning.

As Shōto said:

‘Chottoshita kikkake ga hito o kaeru koto mo arutte’ 「ちょっとした切っ掛けが人を変えることもあるって」 “Sometimes a small reason can change a person.” [Chap 192]

‘Kikatte’ (切っ掛け) can mean “motive”, “Impetus” but also “chance”, “occasion”, “start”, “cue”, “excuse”.

It’s one of the themes of the story, we saw it with Twice, that became a Villain due to a small incident that caused him to spiral always lower, but, in Enji’s case, we’re meant to see him slowly rising into a better person.

And the small thing that’s meant to trigger his change, his starting line, is his wish to become a better Hero so as to be fitting of his role as Number 1.

This is what will push him to ponder on what he did, so that he’ll later, much later, will come to the realization he did something horrible to his family, something that had devastating repercussions on them and can’t be just shrugged off, and that he has to redeem himself not in order to be a better Hero… but because he regrets he has hurt his family and wants to make them better.

That small thing is meant to lead him to point 2, which is still very, very far.

ENJI’S ‘TRAVEL’ TO REALIZE HOW MUCH HE WRONGED HIS FAMILY

So, let’s watch again what happen when Enji comes to the decision he’ll become a better Hero and tries to ‘atone’ because a Hero should protect people’s future, not cut people’s future short.

When, for the first time, he tries to reach out for Shōto gently, Shōto moves away, refusing contact. This drives home it’s not enough to change the way he interact with Shōto, to get Shōto to shrug everything off and start anew with him.

He can’t do something as simple as meet Rei, meeting Rei would be bad for her, while she could meet Shōto just fine, which drives home he’s actually the problem with Rei, not Shōto, even though it was Shōto who got hurt by her.

When he’s injured, his injury makes him take true notice of Shōto’s scar. He blamed Rei for it but Shōto blamed him for it and now he might start feeling guilty for causing his son such scar.

When he tries to connect with Natsuo, Natsuo calls out on his behavior. Enji just expects them to leave the past behind and start moving forward together but Natsuo is plagued by the past and can’t leave it behind. The past comes to his mind each time he does something as simple as seeing Enji’s face. Shōto also remarks how he is a great Hero but he still can’t forgive him for what he did to his mother. This forces Enji to face with the feelings of his victims. They can’t just… start again because he wants them to.

When things fail with Natsuo and Fuyumi is so very hurt by this, he’s forced to acknowledge how his daughter worked hard to give him the chance to have a family dinner and he wasted it saying the wrong words to Natsuo so he apologizes to her.

‘Fuyumi imamade sumanakatta’ 「冬美今まですまなかった」 “Fuyumi, I’m sorry (for what happened) until now”

‘Natsuo ni kakeru kotoba o machigaeta’ 「夏雄に掛ける言葉を間違えた」 “I said the wrong words to Natsuo.” [Chap 192]

I’ll stop a moment on this apology as it’s the first apology Enji makes in the story.

Japanese people have 2.000 ways to apologize depending on what they’re apologizing for, how casual or formal is the speech, who they’re talking with, the context… you name it.

And of course, Enji uses always different ways to say ‘I’m sorry’ and the various differences between a sorry and another aren’t that easy to translate in English so almost all goes translated with an ‘I’m sorry’.

Said all this… how Enji is apologizing to Fuyumi here?

For start let’s go with the premise he usually uses casual speech to talk with his family members, which makes sense.

The word he picks now to apologize is ‘sumanakatta’ (すまなかった).

‘Sumanakatta’ is the past tense form of ‘suman’ (すまん), which is the informal/contracted version of ‘sumimasen’ (すみません) which comes from the verb ‘sumu’ (済む) “to feel unease or guilt for troubling someone”.

This is the apology you use when you do anything that might make someone else uncomfortable and, even if Enji is using the casual form, it’s generally considered a formal apology, kind of like an “Excuse me”.

It doesn’t necessarily mean what you did was small, in fact it’s also what you’ll use to apologize to your boss for a mistake because, in polite language, this is the way to apologize you’ve to use.

An interesting thing though is that you can also use it with the meaning of “thank you” when someone does something for you, so you are apologizing for the inconvenience with the purpose of thanking that person. It’s however less strong than ‘arigatō’ (ありがとう).

In this case it can have both meaning, Enji might have been apologizing Fuyumi for troubling her up until then, or thanking her for all she did even though it troubled her up until then.

The following sentence seems to imply it’s more an ‘I’m sorry’ as he mentions messing up with Natsuo, which ruined Fuyumi’s efforts for them to have a family dinner.

Is he using polite language and therefore making a formal, serious apology to Fuyumi or it’s just casual speech?

The visual helps us figuring this out.

In fact, while it’s nice Enji apologizes, the apology feels hollow, a mere formality, just an act because Fuyumi went through a lot of effort and Enji was about to leave without saying nothing. He apologizes solely when she protests he’s about to leave and the visual doesn’t even show him watching her as he does so, no, he’s looking ahead, likely focusing on his atonement plan, which is ironic as he’s thinking at atoning and yet he isn’t even watching one of the people he should atone to.

So let’s go back to Enji.

When Enji decides Shōto should let him teach him Flashfire Fist because ‘now he’ll do like a father should’, Shōto for a while ignores his calls. This leads him to experience the feeling of being ignored, his feelings dismissed after he has done it for so long with the ones of his family.

This also tells us more on how he continues doing things one sided in his ‘atonement’, he basically wants to still do what he wants (teach Shōto Flashfire Fist) but in a different, ‘better’ way. He thinks Shōto should just open up to him because he’s going to be better, because he’ll became the man he wants to be (a man worth of the position of Number 1). He’s not addressing what he did to Shōto in the past, how it impacted Shōto’s life, nor he’s asking Shōto what he could do to make up and he’s again not really caring for his feelings since he is the one who decided Shōto should learn it, this is not Shōto’s idea.

So how this becomes another lesson?

When Shōto accepts to have his Work Study in Endeavor agency Enji takes it as a win, he doesn’t even ask Shōto what he wants to learn, he has already decided for him, SAME AS BEFORE, and what’s Shōto’s response?

Shōto, who had previously told him he believes he’s a great Hero but wants to see what he can do as a father, remarks he came to his agency SOLELY BECAUSE HE’S THE NUMBER 1 HERO and doesn’t view him as a father… because Enji did nothing to show him he can be a father. Wanting him in his agency, wanting to teach him Flashfire is still because Enji is a Hero and Shōto answers in kind, accepting him as a the Number 1 Hero but rejecting him as a father. And Enji has to face and swallow this, that now that he’s trying to be a father, his son views him solely as a Hero. Enji wanted to live in the Hero world with Shōto? Now he’s doing it, but he doesn’t have his son anymore.

And we continue with the lessons.

When Fuyumi invites them to dinner and Natsuo says he also used to cook for the family but Endeavor might not have let Shōto eat it because it was rich… Enji says he didn’t know Natsuo did this but hey, why not to try again, which is Enji’s version of attempting to connect with Natsuo now.

In reply Natsuo gets upset because Enji has again acknowledged he hadn’t paid attention to Natsuo in the past but he’s not apologizing, he’s not addressing the past, he’s just saying, try again, this time I’ll see you… and so Natsuo leaves, hurt, because his past pain was dismissed and he was fundamentally asked to move on, which leaves Enji to face the fact it’s not enough TO DO BETTER NOW, to try to pay attention to his kids now.

And all those lessons lead Enji to think harder at his family, at the situation, at what he’s supposed to do.

Later, for example, he’ll thanks Fuyumi.

Remember when I said ‘sumanakatta’ could work as “Thank you” but it’s less strong than ‘arigatō’?

‘Fuyumi. Arigatō’ 「冬美ありがとう」 “Fuyumi. Thank you.” [Chap 250]

Well, to thanks Fuyumi, Enji uses ‘arigatō’ now. He still seems not able to look at her in the eyes, but this time it’s not because he’s looking ahead at his future plans, his gaze is downcast so he’s probably ashamed of himself.

Enji had been trying ‘atoning’ by a while with little to no result and yet Fuyumi had always acted supportive. Now he’s likely more aware of how this isn’t necessarily a given, he has learnt to appreciate more his daughter’s efforts, this time he doesn’t try to leave without saying anything, he stops to thank her. And, from Fuyumi’s expression, we can see this matters to her, this makes her happy.

But back to Enji.

Enji claims each night he asks himself what he can do for his family. And his subconscious in a way answers him, as he says he dreams each night his family at dinner table, they’re all happy but he’s not there. Enji first interprets this as a manifestation of how he feels now, he’s cut out of his family, they’re now ignoring him, they’re happy but he can’t partake at their happiness… even though now he’s trying to be better and wants to be there.

But there’s another way to see the dream, as his subconscious pointing out at his mistakes.

He’s the one who was never with his family, he’s the one who decided on not sitting with them and enjoying that simple happiness, he rejected it because he wanted to live in the Hero world and surpass All Might, and so he cut them out, neglected them when he didn’t outright abuse them to force them to serve his needs. He had no time for them he wouldn’t see them. Now that they’re also cutting him out, he’s merely reaping what he had sown.

The fact he had cut his family out of his Hero World, that he is focusing only on his Hero persona is always the root of his problems.

His family has told him what they wanted him to do, Shōto wants to see what he can do as a dad, Fuyumi has made clear she wants her family back, Natsuo might feel more obscure in what he wants, but in the end he too asked Enji something, for Enji to do something, to make that atonement happen so that Natsuo will stop being plagued by the past and will manage to grant his sister’s dream for them to live together. Enji hears Midoriya saying Shōto is waiting, waiting to see Enji do something as a father, but he doesn’t know what to do because Enji is still too busy on being a Hero.

It’ll turn out his plan to do something for his family was AGAIN letting his family go. He’ll give them a new house and remain in the old one. Even though Shōto and Fuyumi made clear they wanted him to step up on the role of father, he’s not trying to be a father, he’s not trying to fix the hurt he caused, he’s just pulling out. AGAIN.

To be a Hero.

And here comes again an important lesson. In regard to his family he can’t even be a Hero.

In fact we see that when Natsuo is captured by Ending DUE TO HIM as Ending is targeting ENJI or better ENDEAVOR, even though didn’t want Natsuo to get hurt, in that moment in which his son was in danger he was so worried with his own feelings he froze. He couldn’t even be a Hero and Shōto, Bakugo and Midoriya had to step up and save the day.

We aren’t talking about him needing to be the Number 1 Hero, the strongest Hero, Ending is nowhere near a Nomu in terms of strength, we’re talking about being just as good as a Hero in training so that he can save his son. And he fails. And this for him might be the harshest lesson, that, for his family, he can’t even be a Hero, the only things that matters for him.

And this time, faced with his complete and utter failure as a Hero and the fact he was about to lose another child of his like he had lost Tōya, he apologizes to Natsuo.

He hugs his child, admits he failed where Bakugo and the others succeeded (a clearly humbling moment) and, when Natsuo forcefully breaks out of his hug, he apologizes to Natsuo, admitting he was in the wrong.

‘Warukatta…!’ 「悪かった…!」 “It was my bad…!”

‘Isshun kangaete shimatta ore ga tasuketara konosaki omae wa ore ni nani mo ienaku natte shimau node wanai ka to’ 「一瞬考えてしまった俺が助けたらこの先おまえは俺に何も言えなくなってしまうのではないかと」 “I thought for a moment that if I helped you, you might not be able to say anything to me from now on.”

‘Natsuo shinjinakute mo ī!’ 「夏雄信じなくてもいい…！」 “Natsuo, you don't have to believe me…!”

Ore wa omae-tachi o utonde ita wake janai 「俺はおまえたちを疎んでいたわけじゃない」 “It’s not like I was distancing myself from you guys”

‘Daga sekinin o nasuritsuke nigeta’ 「だが責任をなすりつけ逃げた」 “but I lay the blame/responsibility on others and ran away.”

‘Tōya mo… Ore ga koroshita mo dōzenda…!’ 「燈矢も…俺が殺したも同然だ…!」 “Tōya too…it's the same as if I killed him too…!” [Chap 252]

And here Enji apologizes again but this time the word he chooses is ‘Warukatta’ (悪かった).

‘Warukatta’ is the past tense form of ‘warui’ (悪い), which comes from the noun ‘waru’ (悪) “bad thing” (or, if you read it as ‘aku’, “evil thing”).

Technically, it isn't an actual apology but an admission of fault. Of course, if you admit you’re at fault, which is a big deal in Japan, this should imply you're sorry for what you did.

And okay, I already said Enji uses casual speech with his family but… this is a… very casual way to say ‘sorry’. Even if it imply you did something bad… it’s not something you should use, not even with your friends, for a serious matter, in fact it’s kind of like “My bad” and, what’s more, what Enji says after it, is still very much focused on defending himself and explaining himself but he’s FINALLY acknowledging some of his wrongdoing and taking responsibility for them instead than avoid the whole topic. He’s not escaping from the blame by pushing it on others anymore… even if, despite how serious they are, it seems he’s still underplaying them. There’s to say though that his head is lowered in apology so maybe he’s being super casual just because he’s Natsuo’s father and therefore socially above Natsuo, which makes him bowing his head to Natsuo matter a lot more.

However yes, he’s not really addressing Natsuo’s feelings… at least not in a way that matters. He’s not soothing the hurt he caused to Natsuo. He thinks he’s doing it when he says Natsuo doesn’t have to forgive him, but this is missing the point of what forgiving is and why it’s done.

‘Ore o yurusanakute ī’ 「俺を許さなくていい」 “You don't have to forgive me”

‘Yurushite hoshī n janai’ 「許してほしいんじゃない」 “I don't want you to forgive me”

‘Tsugunaitainda’ 「償いたいんだ」 “I want to make amends” [Chap 252]

The importance of forgiving, which often gets lost in redemption arcs as they tend to focus on the abuser and everything seems to get fixed for him when he’s forgiven, is that ‘forgiving’ isn’t done for the abuser, but for the victim.

The abuser can (and often should) continue to feel bad for what a disgusting thing he did even if he get forgiven but, at least, the victim will feel better because forgiving means to let go of all the painful/angry feelings the victim feels. That’s why, in a redemption arc, striving for being forgiven is important and is the milestone that signal the end to the arc, because finally the abuser is no more causing pain to the victim. He had paid the victim back. Which is the point of redemption. To pay the victim back, to make up to the victim.

In a roundabout way, this is what Natsuo is asking Enji to do, to soothe his hurt. It’s hinted Natsuo too wants to forgive Enji… but he doesn’t want to be the one who does the work.

Natsuo will in fact point out that when he sees Enji memories come rushing in. Those memories are painful so they clearly make him feel pain and he reacts to it with anger… so even though his sister would be happy to have them all, his father included, live together, he can’t do it. He feels like Enji is asking HIM to do the effort to let go of the past, but he wants Enji instead to make him let go of the past, to soothe the hurt he had caused.

Enji can’t atone if he doesn’t get forgiven because as long as Natsuo can’t forgive him, he’ll always feel pain seeing Enji, meaning Enji will always hurt him even when he tries not to.

‘Nande kotchi ga nōdōteki ni kawaranakya ikerunda yo!’ 「何でこっちが能動的に変わらなきゃいけるんだよ!」 “Why do I have to actively change!?”

‘Tsugunautte anta ni nani ga dekirunda yo’ 「償うってあんたに何ができるんだよ」 “What can you do to make amends?” [Chap 252]

And what is Enji going to do?

He’s again removing himself from Natsuo’s life. Yeah, if you want to face palm that’s the moment.

He will gift Natsuo and Fuyumi with a new, more comfortable house in which they can go live with their mother. Because Rei can’t see him without feeling fear, because Natsuo can’t see him without feeling pain and rage, he thinks the solution is for them to not see him, to avoid him, the way he has done with them.

He doesn’t try to fix the problem, he wants them to avoid it.

Mind you, he’s not doing this to be a jerk. Now he wants to be part of his family, he was thinking he could start again, so giving up on it feels painful to him… and avoiding him seems on the surface what Rei and Natsuo wanted, what they needed (Natsuo was trying to avoid him and Rei’s doctor said she’s not supposed to meet Enji). But this goes against what Fuyumi wants, for him too to be also part of the family, and shift the blame for this not happening on them.

Because they can’t stand to the sight of him, he has to pull back and Fuyumi won’t get her wish to live together and Shōto won’t get to see him acting like a father. And Natsuo made clear he wanted to fulfill his sister’s wish, he just didn’t know how to do it and wanted Enji to do something in that regard and Enji… didn’t.

Enji chose the easy way out of the problem, like he admitted he always did.

While the consequence he has to face is that he has ‘lost’ his family, turning into reality the dream he kept having, the family now that he’s no more plagued by his envy he has discovered he wanted to be with… building a new house for his family is no big deal for him as he has the money to do so and he can still hope things will eventually get fixed and that they’ll move over.

If this didn’t happen… well, he’ll remain without his family but, since he kept away from it though most of his life prioritizing his Hero career… to us readers it doesn’t really seem a big deal. After all it’s not like he wants to stop being a Hero, and he’s Number 1 and so we reach the Paranormal Liberation War with Enji still having been forced to face unpleasant consequences for what he did but, fundamentally, nothing earth shattering, nothing that pushed him to fight with all he had to make up to his family.

He still needs a push.

Enters Dabi, who’s more than willing to give him a giant size shove.

TŌYA OR WHEN GENTLY NUDGING YOU DOESN’T WORK, LET’S TRY WITH KICKING YOU

Redemption and revenge aim at the same thing, refunding the victim of an abuse. The difference is that in redemption the abuser decides on the refunding on his own, in revenge it’s the victim that take matters in his hands and extract refunding from the abuser, often believing they’re done in an ‘oculum pro oculo’ manner… but actually going way too overboard because they often want revenge for something that’s intangible and long lasting, the pain they suffered and keep suffering.

But back with Enji.

Up to this point Enji has interacted with his victims… but they were all what you call ‘good victims’ victims who wouldn’t try to return back the wrongdoing they have received. Even in Shōto and Natsuo’s case, despite them being angry with him, the most they do is tell him why they’re angry and avoid him or reject him as a father, they don’t really try to make Enji’s life as miserable as he made their own.

In fact, while Rei and Fuyumi are of the ‘forgive and forget’ type, Natsuo and Shōto are more of the ‘forgive but NOT forget’ kind (and, to be honest, they aren’t even fully done with the forgiving part) as they’re slowly letting go of their anger but they aren’t willing to shrug off what Enji did.

However Tōya, at the moment, is fully of the ‘NOT forgive and NOT forget’ type. His father ruined his life and he CAN’T get over this. What he suffered destroyed him psychologically, he’s suicidal and he chose anger as a way to cope with pain which leads him to pursue revenge as a way to get even with his father. If Enji made him miserable, he’ll make him miserable in return. If he destroyed him, he’ll destroy him back. If he’s in hell due to his father, he’ll drag Enji in hell as well.

‘Jigōjitoku da ze’ 「自業自得だぜ」 “You reap what you sow!”

‘Saa issho ni ochiyou Todoroki Enji!!’ 「さァ一緒に堕ちよう轟炎司！！」 “Well, let’s fall together, Todoroki Enji”

‘Jigoku (read: kotchi) de musuko (read: ore) to odorou ze!!!’ 「地獄(こっち)で息子(おれ)と踊ろうぜ！！！」 “Dance with your son (read: me) in hell (read: here)!!!” [Chap 290]

Tōya wants revenge which makes him aggressive as hell and causes him to do plenty of wrong things, but this doesn’t change the fact he’s also Enji’s victim, he’s also a family member Enji horribly wronged and Enji should atone to him too.

Now, a note on Tōya.

Differently from the rest of his family, who just blames Enji for the pain they suffered, Tōya is not just blaming Enji for what he went through, he’s blaming his family, who didn’t help him, and society, which enabled Enji.

So he doesn’t want to be paid back SOLELY by Enji, but by the rest of his family and society as well, and part of his actions aren’t aimed merely at hurting Enji but also all the others he views responsible, even if he thinks the biggest part of the blame rests on his father’s shoulders and extracting revenge from him is his main goal.

It’s what the other Todorokis, who set the blame solely on Enji, don’t quite get, but it’s also why Tōya has no problems hurting people who aren’t Enji. Because he sees them as co-responsible. To him it’s not ALL ABOUT ENJI, though Enji is the BIGGEST REASON of why all this happened and his main focus.

“Boku no Hero Academia” is a story that criticize/analyzes/promotes change in society as well so of course it has to be also about society… but this is about Enji and his redemption arc, so I won’t focus much on society and its problems and Tōya’s attempt to get revenge out of society as well. That’s for another post.

But, back on Enji.

Tōya’s role in this part of Enji’s arc is to FORCE HIM to come face to face with all that he is still trying to not see, the consequences of his actions and how they can’t just be erased, how not everyone will content himself with just moving out of his life and go on living because some can’t. Their future is a barren land, it doesn’t exist, they’re in hell and their only way out is dying.

Tōya’s whole speech is about forcing him to see.

Tōya doesn’t need to be prompted to speak his mind like Natsuo, he immediately makes clear his father ignored him, hurt him, stripped him of what gave his existence a meaning, made him miserable, he made clear the pain Enji put him through, and why he did so, which were the extremely selfish and egotistical reasons which moved Enji… and now he wants payback, or better he wants to return everything he received. He won’t set aside the past. Not only the past made him what he is now, keeps hurting him like an open wound, but it’s basically all he has, as he believed he has been stripped of his future.

‘Kako wa kienai za!!’ 「過去は消えないザ!!」 “The past doesn’t disappear!” [Chap 290]

Tōya also nails what had been Enji’s thoughts, Enji really thought ‘As long as I face the future, I can be better’, now that he was Number 1 he really tried to stare to his kids in the eyes longing to feel the warmness of his family.

‘Mirai ni me o mukete ireba tadashiku areru to omottadarou! ! ? 「未来に目を向けていれば正しくあれると思っただろう！！？」 “You should have thought if you turn your attention to the future, you’ll be able to follow the right path!!?”

‘Shira nē yōdakara oshiete yaru yo! !’ 「知らねエようだから教えてやるよ！！！」 “Since you don’t seem to know it, I’ll tell you!!” [Chap 290]

It didn’t went as easy as Tōya seems to think it went, as the others weren’t as accommodating and forgiving as he seems to believe they were, but those were Enji’s thoughts, he believed by walking toward the future he could leave the past behind.

And Tōya is there to remind him he can’t, that the past would never die. He dehumanizes himself so that he can present himself as the embodiment of such past, of Enji’s mistakes. He’s no more a person, he’s the result, the consequence of all of them.

Not only Tōya won’t forget what Enji did, he won’t forgive him and he’ll extract revenge from him.

Tōya won’t stay quiet in a mental hospital or go on with his life away from him, no, Tōya will expose everything Enji did, as well as the fact he’s his son and that his villainous actions are a direct consequence of Enji’s actions, an answer to them. He destroys Enji’s reputation as a Hero and as a man… and destroys the faith in Heroes the Hero society in which they lived thrives upon.

It was ‘easy’ for Enji to leave the past behind because he wasn’t the one who got hurt by his own actions, he wasn’t the one who had to face the consequences, who has to live with the psychological scarring.

Tōya forced him to see the past wouldn’t die, that the past actions have consequences that live on, that who’s hurt can’t just move on as easily as who had hurt people. He forces him to see this by hurting him, by giving him pain and psychological scars he won’t be able to shrug off and leave behind.

His father fails at empathy, he won’t get into someone else’s shoes willingly so Tōya forces him to do so in order to lead him to understand how much harm he did to him.

Tōya rips to shreds his father’s Hero persona, which was his father’s reason of existence, Enji now might stay Number 1 but he’s clearly no more a HERO in people’s eyes, no Hero is a HERO in their eyes. Because since Tōya was banned from entering in the Hero world by his father, he did his best to destroy such world in which his father thrived and which society enabled, refusing to see the wrong things Heroes were making.

What’s more, Enji, with Natsuo and Rei, thought he could fix things with them simply by pulling himself out of the equation. They won’t see him, and therefore won’t get hurt by seeing him, he won’t see them, and therefore won’t get hurt by seeing the consequences of his actions.

They all will not look at each other so that nobody will get hurt, or so he tells himself.

Tōya doesn’t let him do the same with him. Tōya wants Enji to look at him, to look at him and see all the harm he had done to him, he wants Enji to face consequences, to realize how he destroyed him for his beloved Hero world, for his selfish dream, for his ego.

Tōya is in pain and wants his father to see such pain and feel it on himself because Tōya is unable to move on, he can’t stop seeing Enji, he’s at a stage where he always feels pain inside himself. He doesn’t expect to be healed from his pain by his father, he’s more in a ‘commune naufragium, omnibus solarium’ mindset.

And Tōya does a pretty good job at making Enji face consequences, in fact, when Enji wakes up in the hospital he cries, saying Endeavor is dead. Tōya has succeeded in making him feel as miserable as he felt, he has ripped from him the reason why he existed, his Endeavor persona and Enji crumbles under the pain. He can’t just shrug it off like he expected his family to do.

He apologizes to his kids, this time using ‘suman’ (すまん).

‘Suman… hontō ni… sumanai. Suman…tsu.’ 「すまん…本当に…すまないすまん…つ」 “I’m sorry… I’m really… sorry. Sorry…”

‘Oso sugitanda… kōkai ga… zaiaku-kan ga… ima ni natte…! Kokoro ga mō’ 「遅すぎたんだ…後悔が…罪悪感が…今になって…!心がもう」 “It's too late… I feel regret… I feel guilty… now…! My heart is already…” [Chap 300]

Previously Enji has used ‘sumanakatta’, which was the past tense form of ‘suman’ (すまん).

So back at this are we? Is he just offering a formal apology because he “feel unease or guilt for troubling someone” in this specific case his family?

The visual helps us figuring this out.

This time the apology is more heartfelt. Enji is crying rather badly, his head lowered in shame, and he doesn’t say just ‘suman’ but also ‘hontō ni sumanai’ (本当にすまない).

‘Sumanai’ in this case should be the negative form of ‘suman’. The implication should be “he’ll never stop feeling unease or guilt for troubling someone”, so it’s a bit stronger than ‘suman’ even if still just casual (in fact some dictionary translate it as “I did something inexcusable”) and, to it, he adds ‘hontō ni’ (本当に), “really”, so he means “he really never stop feeling unease or guilt for troubling someone”.

This time the apology is clearly more serious, more heartfelt than with Fuyumi. It drives better home this time he’s more aware he didn’t just ‘troubled’ his family.

Now Enji is better grasping why he should be sorry about it, he’s crying, although he’s still very much focused on himself. His concerns are for his heart, which is broken (and possibly for how ‘Endeavor is dead’), not for how his family is feeling. He calls them there likely because he also wants them to comfort him, to make him feel better, not because he wants to make them feel better.

And this time it’s Rei to give him a wake up call, pointing out they had it much worse than him. And when he asks her if she’s okay, she points out she’s not.

Rei is another result of the past not dying, even though she’s moving on, now she’s capable to look straight at him… but it’s not like all the hurt went away.

Then Enji is forced to look back at the past and at his past actions as they, as a family, go through them.

Enji refused to look at Tōya, escaping responsibility, caused him to keep burning himself in an attempt to regain his affection and had two more kids with the excuse this would make Tōya stop burning himself but, in truth, because he was the one who couldn’t get over the fact he couldn’t surpass All Might. He drove Tōya so desperate that, in order to have him look at him, he attacked Shōto, because negative attention is better than no attention.

In response Enji isolated Shōto from his siblings, continued to refuse to look at Tōya even when it was made clear to him that this was what Tōya wanted, what Tōya needed, and not a sibling that could surpass All Might as Enji claimed Tōya needed… but that, in truth, was what Enji wanted.

Then Enji drove Rei to insanity and, even though he saw Tōya’s desperation and how his supposed idea to stop him from training by having Shōto didn’t work, continued to refuse to look at him to the point he knew Tōya would go to Sekoto Peak and would get burned if he were to use his Quirk but didn’t go to face him… and Tōya ended up with more than just new fresh burns, he burned down the whole place and himself as well.

As if this wasn’t bad enough Enji continued to put Shōto through hellish training, excusing his actions and insisting in his impressive sunk cost fallacy.

His family makes clear he can’t escape responsibility anymore and has to face Tōya.

Now, there is a problem in this if we look at the story as Enji’s redemption arc toward his WHOLE family (and therefore include Tōya too in it).

From now on, Enji will be pressured into focusing not on atoning to Tōya (or the rest of his family), but on focusing on doing his duty as Endeavor to protect and atone to society (which is tied to his responsibility toward society as Tōya’s father) which requires him to fight/stop Tōya/Dabi.

Yes, Tōya absolutely needs to be stopped, stopping him is the most logical thing to do but, if Enji is focusing on this and not on his atonement, stopping Tōya becomes a side quest that distracts him from his real quest… and stops him from seeing which is the fire he should truly stop, not the one his son creates with his Quirk, but the one burning inside Tōya, a fire he had light with his mistakes.

It’s a repeat of his past mistakes, where the family has focused on the fire of Tōya’s Quirk which burned him, and not on the one burning inside Tōya which made him miserable.

So, even though all the family is now taking responsibility for the situation, at the end of the day what they tell Enji to do is go face Tōya not as his father who needs to atone to him, but as the one who needs to stop him, likely wanting to encourage him to take up the mantle of Endeavor again, in fact Rei says ‘he has to fight Dabi’, using her son’s Villain name.

‘Sekinin wa anata dake no mono janai’ 「責任はあなただけのものじゃない」 “The responsibility is not just yours.”

‘Konkai no koto wa watashitachi zen'in no sekinin’ 「今回のことは私たち全員の責任」 “We are all responsible for this time.”

‘Kokoro ga kudakete mo watashitachi ga tata semasu’ 「心が砕けても私たちが立たせます」 “Even if your heart is broken, we will make you stand up”

‘Anata wa Dabi to tatakau shika nai no’ 「あなたは荼毘と戦うしかないの」 “You have no choice but to fight Dabi” [Chap 302]

Shōto also will remark they have to stop Tōya and then Hawks and Best Jeanist will insist on this as well. It’s irony at his finest, when Enji was finally willing to declare Endeavor dead, everyone wanted him to be Endeavor.

We could make another meta talking of his family and why they want this and why they don’t ask this because they don’t care about Tōya (they all love him), but that’s a Meta for another time.

Let’s stick to Enji.

The conclusion of all this is that he has to remain Endeavor and prioritize apologizing to society, atoning to it so he has to take part to a press conference and apologize.

‘Owabi no mōshiageyō mo gosaimasen’ 「お詫びの申し上げようもごさいません」 “There is no way for me to apologize enough/I have no excuses.” [Chap 306]

This is what he says to the press and this time the apology is as formal as you can get. It’s a sentence used to apologize to customers or superiors about really big mistakes. It’s fitting the context since he’s apologizing to the press and to society itself.

It makes sense he’s being formal here, he even shaved for the occasion.

It’s also worth to mention openly admitting his wrongdoing is a big deal in Japan. While he won’t face penal consequences for his sins, socially speaking he’s destroyed (as well as his family).

Hawks also will go with a formal apology.

‘Shazai mōshiagemasu’ 「謝罪申し上げます」 “I would like to apologize” [Chap 306]

It’s worth to mention that, while society thinks very poorly of Enji now… the way the manga presents it seems to imply society didn’t give a damn he abused of his family, their problem is such abuse resulted in them being ‘troubled’ and while not caring about Tōya can be in response to what Tōya did… what about poor Shōto? Tōya made clear he also was abused.

Enji’s arc likely is meant to parallel society’s arc. Because society was selfish, set in motion the chain of events that lead people like Tenko, Himiko, Jin and Tōya became Villains and now society is also paying the price and trying to deflect the blame solely on the Heroes. But again, that’s something for another meta.

Again to Enji we go and to how he gets here comes another wake up call.

A journalist also makes a point of how the past never dies.

She tells them than saying sorry doesn’t change the situation they’re in and that they can’t just stand there and pretend like it’s all over, that while Villains are to blame, they too share a responsibility.

‘“Subete jijitsudejita sumimasen” ja torikaeshinotsukanai jitaina ndesu yo’ 「『全て事実でじたすみません』じゃ取り返しのつかないじたいなんですよ」 “You just saying ‘It’s all true, sorry’ isn’t going to make it undone” [Chap 306]

Yes, she downgraded his formal apology to a mere ‘sumimasen’ to better drive home how little heartfelt it felt to her, how it just felt like a formality.

Enji asks her if, were they to show their pain, exhaustion and tears, this would fix things, which only enrage the journalist because of course it wouldn’t be enough.

Remember the whole atonement path?

Step 2 is realizing you did something wrong, step 3 is to regret it but then there’s a step 4. Step 4 is to start working on fixing things.

The journalist was accusing Enji to be at step 2, he’s aware he has done something bad and had wronged ‘society’ (as said before society don’t give a damn about how Enji has wronged his family), if he had also shown regret he would have been at step 3 but, according to her, he’s not, which meant he won’t move to step 4, which is the one in which he fixes things. Only with step 4 he can atone, just feeling sorry is mandatory but nowhere near enough.

And here however comes a problem, Horikoshi subtly remarks how this is bringing Enji away from atoning to his family.

The journalist starts to point out what he should do to atone to the people, only to pause in mid sentence as she realizes that, by asking him to take down every Villain, she’s asking him to take down his son.

‘Teki (read: Villain) o zenbu katadzukeru sore ga…’ 「敵 (ヴィラン)を全部片付けるそれが…」 “Get rid of all the enemies (read: Villains), that’s how…” [Chap 306]

‘Katadzukeru’ (片付ける) can imply that, in order to get rid of the Villains, Enji has to kill all the Villains. Note that in the past it was said that Heroes shouldn’t kill, and Hawks had to apologize for killing Twice… but now the public rage feels they’re entitled to be above such rules. They were wronged and they want blood… same as the Villains.

It was the point that Shigaraki made when he fought against Endeavor. Because he was rejected, he rejects. Because he was hurt, he hurts. It’s a vicious cycle. It’s what Tōya is doing. It’s what society wants to do. Again, on this too, we could write meta.

For now let’s only remark that, if Enji were to take down his son, he wouldn’t get to atone to him.

So the narrative calls Enji to a choice… but he doesn’t even realize it.

In fact, here he should decide if he wants to atone to Tōya, whom he had wronged, or society, whom he also had wronged.

Enji chose to be Endeavor and atone to society… but it’s not really a choice because he hadn’t truly grasped yet Tōya is HIS VICTIM and he has to atone to him too.

In fact later, fighting All for One, Enji will say his mistakes took form of Tōya… but Tōya isn’t a personification for his mistakes, he’s a real person he hurts and who’s now trying to retaliate.

His wish to look at Tōya after the war has ended, isn’t related to finally give his son the attention he emotionally always needed and asked, but to look after him to stop him from making mistakes/causing harm to the people. He’s planning to look after Tōya, not at Tōya.

Doing so is still part of his atoning to society, to make sure his son won’t cause further harm to it. And he’ll do this later, because he still first prioritize his Hero work… because his regret is very much focused on what his actions had caused to befall on society on how his son is a mass murderer now, which causes harm to society.

Let’s make clear Enji doesn’t want to kill Tōya, he has made clear he can’t when he woke up in the hospital, Tōya, to him, is not like Shigaraki whom he wanted to kill (despite how Heroes shouldn’t kill) and for whom he had no sympathy whatsoever. Tōya is still his son.

But he’s still not at the point in which he has realized he has to apologize to Tōya because he has hurt him, for now he’s just thinking he mismanaged the situation and seeing Tōya as an extension of himself same way as he saw Shōto. To him, they’re both his creations, Shōto exists to defeat All Might, Tōya exists as personification of his mistakes.

Ironically the chapters in which the Todoroki family past was told were called “The wrong way to put out a fire” in English, but in Japanese they are ‘Hi no fushimatsu’ (火の不始末) which can be more literally translated as “mismanagement/careless handling of fire” (it generally implied in ‘putting it out’) with ‘fushimatsu’ meaning “omission”, “failure”, “incompleteness”, “irregularity”, “mismanagement”. “misconduct”, “malpractice”, “carelessness”, “wastefulness”.

And this is what Enji felt he did, he messed up, he handled things badly. He’s not quite thinking at the hurt he caused to his son, he’ll still need some time to figure that out.

Due to all this, Enji’s redemption to society take priority, in Enji’s eyes, to his redemption to his family. Enji has to put society at ease, he has to redeem himself in society’s eyes by saving society… society needs to be saved for them to live… and everyone, his family, the other Heroes, are pressuring him to do just that… and so, in a way, his redemption arc to his family stagnate. He returns to prioritizing his Hero job… and doesn’t even realize that his redemption arc toward his family is being postponed. He isn’t yet at step 2 of his redemption to his family yet. Even Tōya realizes it (and it's interesting how we aren't shown his eyes as he speaks).

‘…Ijime tarinakatta ka a kuku…’ 「…虐め足りなかったかあクク…」 “…the bullying/tormenting wasn’t enough? Heh heh…” [Chap 306]

No, it wasn’t enough to make him empathize with the pain Tōya (or his family) went through.

Enji is sorry. For himself. Really, really sorry. But he’s not yet sorry for his son, for his family… possibly not even for society. He knows he messed up. But he’s still doing this because it’s his duty.

But we’re getting close because now he’s left experiencing what it feels like to be miserable, to be rejected, to be cut out from society, to have failed completely and utterly.

“Boku no hero academia” doesn’t explore it much, possibly because for Japanese people this is a given or because this is an optimistic story aimed at young audience, or because the editor just didn’t want to show one of the Heroes having it too bad, but I can recommend you a good SEINEN manga (remember, seinen manga are targeted at male audiences aged 18 to 40, if you’re younger they’re not for you!) “Theseus no fune” (テセウスの船 ‘Theseus’ ship’) which will show you how ‘kind’ Japanese society is with the family of a man who’s accused of having poisoned 20 people.

His family, his children included, is forced to live in shame, they can’t show happiness or pain in public, they’ve to live hiding their identity, if people find out who they are, they’re bashed, hated, avoided, bullied, they’ve to move away from their house and workplace/school, constantly apologizing. One of the man’s child, who wasn’t even born yet when the crime was committed, managed to get married but his wife’s family refuses to see him. He can’t become a teacher, he has to wear a mask to hide his face at work and avoid people the best he can so they won’t discover his identity and he learns from his mother that when she had to give birth to him hospitals didn’t want to take her in because she was the wife of a murderer.

So yeah, Enji and his family supposedly aren’t really having a nice time, which is hinted also when Tōya asked Shōto how was he when he was being holed up in U.A. after the truth about Endeavor was revealed. Tōya expected people to reject him as he were Endeavor’s son and Dabi’s brother.

However supposedly people in the shelter at U.A. and Shōto’s classmates are all nice with him and no one apparently harassed Rei, Fuyumi and Natsuo… or if they did it was never shown.

We see Enji has it a little worse as, while he’s on work, the people he just protected rejects him but again, the manga doesn’t focus much on this and he has his family’s support as well as the one of all the other Heroes so… he’s not having it as bad as one would expect, at least not visually.

Logically he should have it really bad… but the story prefers to focus on how nice people at U.A. and Heroes are which is… a choice.

Anyway, back to Enji, that’s why he comes to the battlefield completely unprepared to face his son, why he hadn’t thought of anything to say to him. Because he still hadn’t grasped Tōya is also a victim to whom he should atone… nor he has really grasped his family’s feelings.

In fact we saw how, although Shōto has agreed to work with him to stop Tōya, prior to the start of the war, Enji cuts communications with him and goes with Midoriya and Hawks on a Team Up mission.

When confronted by Shōto, he claims that Shōto wanting to help him to stop Tōya meant a lot TO HIM and that FOR HIM is enough, and Shōto is forced to point out Enji is again cutting him from the equation and focusing to himself. To Shōto the whole thing means nothing if Enji doesn’t act on it, if Enji ignores him. Enji has again not considered his feelings, has again ignored his family.

Shōto has to remind him again they’ve to stop Tōya TOGETHER.

And then the Heroes are ready for the war to start… and it’s decided Endeavor will be put against All for One while Shōto will have to face his brother... which isn’t exactly how many expected them to stop Tōya TOGETHER, even if yes, putting an end to All for One can be seen as a way to stop Tōya too as he could end up being affected by the consequences of All for One’s fall… but well… it’s a huge stretch.

More than them stopping Tōya together it’s just they happen to be together in the war.

Credits when it’s due, Enji will phone to Shōto suggesting they should switch, that he should be the one to face Tōya but Shōto refuses and encourages him again to act as the Hero Endeavor and stop All for One, not as Todoroki Enji, while he’ll act as the Hero Shōto and stop Dabi.

Now no, I’m not saying this to blame Shōto.

Shōto’s situation is very different from Enji’s, he did nothing wrong, he’s a victim and he’s trying to do his best and help people as well as doing his duty as Hero. He doesn’t have to atone to his brother.

Sending his father to face his brother would have been psychologically much easier for Shōto, because it pains him a lot to face his brother. All for One calls this cruel against Shōto and abuse against Tōya.

'Soreni mottomo zankoku na saihaida to omou ze?' 「それに…最も残酷な采配だと思うぜ？」 "In addition… Don’t you think this is the most cruel arrangement?"

'Tsurai tachiba no masshi ni shirinugui o oshitsuke' 「辛い立場の末子に尻拭いを押し付け」 "You forced your youngest son, who was in a difficult situation, to wipe your butt."

'Kare (read: chōnan) e no gyakutai o tsudzukeru to wa!' 「彼（長男）への虐待を続けるとは！」 "And continued to abuse that person (read: your eldest son)!" [Chap 345]

‘Zankoku’ (残酷) which means “cruel” should be a well known word due to the famous song theme “Zankoku na tenshi no these” (残酷な天使のテーゼ)

‘Shirinugui’ (尻拭い) litterally means “to wipe your butt” but yes, it can be used to mean “clean up for someone else’s mistakes”.

‘Gyakutai’ (虐待) can mean “Abuse”, “mistreatment”, “Cruelty”. “Child abuse” in Japanese is ‘Jidō gyakutai’ (児童虐待), just to give you an idea of how serious the accuse is.

Long story short, what Tōya is doing is the result of Enji’s actions so Enji should have been the one to deal with it, not again push the work on Shōto.

But from a Hero’s point of view, this is the best plan, they pin the strongest Hero against the strongest Villain. Putting Endeavor against Dabi, after seeing how he froze the last time and how he declares he wants to atone to his family, risks for that battle to get lost, Hawks can see this, can see there’s the risk Enji will figure out he should atone to his son too and therefore wouldn’t be able to fight him.

Shōto, on the other side, in addition to being strong and having a move that supposedly can counter Dabi’s fire, has no debts toward him. The way the Heroes see it, Shōto did nothing wrong against Dabi because he basically didn’t even interact with him and also, due to this, his family ties with Dabi feel weak. He can fight him without freezing up, especially since, from Shōto and the Heroes’ perspective, it’s Dabi who’s wronging him, making Shōto Dabi’s victim and therefore giving Shōto an incentive to fight back.

It’s a good battle strategy but it grabs Enji’s atonement arc and throws it into the recycle bin for the sake of winning the battle.

It asks Enji to prioritize being a Hero in the Hero world and neglect both his children. Shōto accepts it as his duty as Hero but this doesn’t make the matter less unfair to him as a son. Tōya of course, has no duty to accept it, it only makes him more enraged.

And so, instead than focusing on his atonement arc toward his family, Enji focuses on his atonement arc toward the people as Endeavor and fights All for One.

It’s not all lost though, there’s conflict in him, sadly it’s not Luke Skywalker who tells him “Search your feelings, father. You can't do this. I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your hate,” but All for One and let’s make it clear, All for One isn’t interested in helping Enji to atone… All for One is the palptine, the Emperor of the story, he’s interested in leading Enji to step 2, for the mere fact that this would shift Enji’s attention on the pain and regret for what he did and make easier for him to defeat Enji.

So All for One continues on hammering on it, on how Enji hurt his children, and reveals another of Enji’s failures, because Enji didn’t go to Sekoto Peak it was him who found Tōya.

What happens later is interesting.

All for One manages to deliver a good blow and Enji has an inner monologue with his younger self who… basically tells him he’ll never improve but that has to go on doing what he has always done, what has kept him alive, struggling against his weakness, to keep on raging.

It sets Enji in full Endeavor’s mode as the first thing he says is that putting an end to the fight is his duty.

He acknowledges some unpleasant truth like how, as Tōya said, the past never dies. He can’t just tell hurt people to move on.

He acknowledges that he’s the cause of many stolen futures… but he’s still not really focusing to his family in this. He thinks that his mistakes took form as Tōya and this lead to so many stolen futures, because he now acknowledges he’s the cause why Tōya did that…

‘Ore no ayamachi ga Tōya no sugata to nari’ 俺の過ちが燈矢の姿となり “My mistakes took the appearance of Tōya”

‘Ooku no hito no mirai wo ubatta’ 多くの人の未来を奪った “And stole many people’s futures.” [Chap 357]

… but he’s more focused on playing penance to society than to his son and it’s in this vein he claims he’ll continue watching Tōya.

‘Batsu wa ore ga uke tsudzukeru…!’ 「罰は俺が受け続ける…！」 “I will continue take punishment/being punished…!”

‘Katte Tōya wo mi tsudzukeru!’ 「勝って燈矢を見続ける！」 “I will win, and I will continue watching Tōya!” [Chap 357]

His idea that he’ll win this and after will keep his eyes on Tōya is not something he plans to do for Tōya. It’s for society so that it will have a path toward the future. It’s Endeavor’s atonement to society.

His keeping his eyes on Tōya doesn’t mean finally giving his son the attention he demanded, means to finally taking responsibility for him, keeping him from harming himself or the others as he hadn’t done when Tōya was younger.

It misses the part of the point of why he’s to blame for not watching Tōya when Tōya was a kid, not just because as a result Tōya got physically hurt, but because he got emotionally hurt by his neglect. Tōya isn’t doing all this because he got burnt, but because he got neglected.

However Enji hasn’t realized this yet and, in fact, when Enji finds himself face to face with Tōya and tells himself this time he’ll look at him…

‘Shimei…’ 使命… “My mission…”

‘Kondo wa ore ga miru’ 今度は俺が見る “This time I will watch you.” [Chap 376]

…and what he does after?

He doesn’t confront him on the hurt he caused him, he doesn’t apologize, he worries Tōya might have hurt Shōto and then drags him away so that Tōya won’t manage to hurt others.

And yeah, he’s clearly not trying to atone to him.

However, while many saw this as Enji saying one thing and doing another because it seemed he was escaping from the duty of looking at his son, this is actually what he’s doing, he’s making sure his son won’t hurt people. He’s trying to look after him… but he’s not looking at him.

He’s taking care of his mission, protecting people. And yes, he’s also doing one of his duties as a father, not taking care of his child but being responsible for his child’s actions, making sure they won’t hurt anyone. That’s why the tagline of that chapter in the magazine version says:

‘Chichi ni kasareta no wa…’ 父に課されたのは… “What the father was tasked/imposed with…” [Chap 376]

In a redemption arc atonement and redemption aren’t the task of the day, something others push on you. They’re your choice, your decision. No one can force you to redeem. You either decide for it or don’t.

We all were thinking now Enji would look at Tōya the way Tōya wanted, but that’s not the plan. Enji isn’t going to be there for Tōya like Tōya wanted… he’s going to act in a way that will stop Tōya from hurting others.

So Enji escapes to lead Tōya away from the others, so as to stop the incarnation of his mistakes from stealing other futures.

And it turns out this isn’t enough because Tōya is going to explode and when he’ll do… he’ll take so many lives with him. Tōya promised him he would try to take away from him what Enji tried to protect, that he’ll take away from him what Enji deemed precious in retaliation, and boy, he’s going to do it in a litteral blast.

And so Enji has to face his son… and in a way he really faces him as, although Tōya is in a terrible state, when Enji watches him all he sees is young Tōya smiling and asking him to watch him show him what he now can do.

It’s now he’s starting to reach step 2, because now he’s not seeing Tōya as a personification of his mistakes, but as his child… and tells him to stop because he doesn’t want HIM to die.

And it’s when Enji realizes Tōya has inherited Rei’s Quirk as well that Enji finally, FINALLY has his epiphany. [Chap 387]

This was what he wanted, a child with a superior fire Quirk and Rei’s Quirk to cool it down... and he got it, in a horribly warped way. The visual shows him thinking back to all he did that lead him to this moment, to have his wish fulfilled in such a distorted way, included his promise to ‘win and then watch over Tōya’.

Only now that he has finally connected all the dots and realized how much he hurt his son, he’s ready to finally watch him the way Tōya wanted.

AND YEAH! THAT’S STEP TWO! TOOK US A LOT OF TIME!

So finally…

2) Due to some circumstances Character A realizes what an horrible thing/things he did.

The visual is symbolic, Tōya had asked Enji to dance with him in hell, and now Enji is doing it. He’s with him in hell, he understands his pain and understands he’s the cause of it.

In fact it’s no more child Tōya he’s seeing, it’s the Tōya who told him to dance with him and Enji now is willing to do it

Enji finally answers to his son’s needs, takes full responsibility for what he did to Tōya. Finally he sees him, he sees the hell in which Tōya is, finally he’s with him like Tōya wanted, like Tōya needed.

‘Zenbu ore no sekinin da’ 「全部俺の責任だ」 “Everything is my fault/responsibility.” [Chap 387]

And with step 2 comes step 3.

3) Character A comes to genuinely regret his actions, they plague him, he’ll ABSOLUTELY have to either fix things or make up for them because he can’t bear living otherwise, it’ll always gnaw at him.

Enji goes through his original plan, bear the burden of the responsibility and live his life atoning (to society).

He goes on pointing out how Tōya had been watching him for all this time… even if it was painful, even if Enji wasn’t watching him back… while Enji didn’t watch him back so as to spare himself from facing responsibility, from facing pain.

‘Zenbu seotte tsugunai ni ikineba to omotte ita’ 「全部背負って償いに生きねばと思っていた」 “I thought I had to shoulder everything and live my life making amends.”

‘Demo omae wa zutto ore wo mitsudzuketetanda mon na…’ 「でもおまえはずっと俺を見続けてたんだもんな…」 “But you were always keeping on looking at me…”

‘Omae wo mite yarenakatta…’ 「おまえを見てやれなかった…」 “I couldn’t look at you…”

‘Omae ni mo tsugunawanakya ikenakattanda’ 「おまえにも償わなきゃいけなかったんだ」 “I have to make amends to you, too.” [Chap 387]

He can’t atone solely to society, he must atone to his son as well.

His dream of him never being at the table with his family comes to his mind. While in a way he accepts to make it become true… he accepts he won’t sit at the table with them… at the same time this time this time he won’t leave one of his family members alone, he won’t leave Tōya alone.

4) Character A starts to put all his efforts into atoning one way or another.

I’m not sure if, at that point, the explosion could have been avoided had Enji killed Tōya, but he’s not considering it because he won’t let his son die alone. He’ll die with him but in a way that won’t drag others with them. He thinks if they’ll go high in the sky the others won’t be caught up in the blast. Note that Tōya’s heat is so high it’s burning him but he’s not letting go of him.

Through the whole story, even when it was at his lowest, Enji has never thought to die, he always thought he would atone and keep living… this is also why Tōya said the bullying wasn’t enough, because his father never became as suicidal as him, and despite everything not even ‘Endeavor’, his Hero persona, died... but, after all, Enji’s whole start was that he didn’t want to end up like his father and die so he has a strong attachment to life… but now he’s accepting it. He’ll die with his son so as not to let him alone. It’s what Tōya asked him to do in a way.

But then Rei joins them and she immediately starts by apologizing to Tōya… as well as trying to cool him down. If Enji was ready to die with him… Rei, and then the rest of his children, will try to make their hardest to save them (and the rest of Japan from Tōya’s explosion) using their ice Quirk, a Quirk Enji always judged inferior to his fire Quirk which now is completely useless.

Enji can’t do nothing at this point, he can’t even bring Tōya up high in the sky, it’s too late for that, he can only beg Tōya, saying no one else has to die, just his life should be enough.

‘Mou… tanomu kara…ore dake ni shitekure…’ 「もう…頼むから…俺だけにしてくれ…」 “Now… I'm begging you… only me, please” [Chap 388]

Though Tōya’s mind seems to be partially gone, he’s aware enough for the first time everyone is paying him attention… and can’t understand why, if it was such a simple things, they hadn’t done it sooner. Now it’s too late, he’s about to explode and drag his whole family with himself.

But then Shōto, with the ice Quirk Enji only wanted him to have to cool down his fire Quirk, joins them and saves the day… yet he remarks in terms of sheer firepower, his own wouldn’t have been enough if he hadn’t added it to the one of his family members, rejecting the idea he was the masterpiece creation Enji wanted… remarking again how everything Enji did and believed, even in terms of Quirks and masterpieces and strength was wrong.

Meanwhile Tōya informs everyone this isn’t enough to soothe his hurt, that he still hates them all and himself as well and wants them all to die.

And, despite having to crawl to do so, Enji reaches him, rests his hand on him and apologizes to him.

‘…Tōya…! Warukatta… Sekoto-take ikanakute…gomen na…!!’ 「…燈矢…！悪かった…瀬古杜岳行かなくて…ごめんな…‼」 “…Tōya…! It was my bad... For not coming to Sekoto Peak…I’m sorry…!!” [Chap 390]

Remember Enji’s various apologies to his family?

We had an ‘imamade sumanakatta’ (今まですまなかった) said to Fuyumi, that was just a pro forma, then a ‘warukatta’ (悪かった) said to Natsuo, that was a really light way to admit it was his fault, then he went for ‘Suman… hontō ni… sumanai. Suman…’ (すまん…本当に…すまないすまん…) which better expressed how sorry he was.

Now… now he starts again with ‘warukatta’… but then he uses ‘gomen na’ (ごめんな).

‘Gomen na’ (ごめんな) is the informal/contracted version of ‘gomen nasai’ (ごめんなさい/御免なさい)” which comes from the verb ‘mensuru’ (免ずる) “To forgive” in its imperative form at which is added the honorific prefix ‘go’ (御) “Honorable”.

This is the apology you use when you really do something wrong, something you weren’t allowed to do, and asks for forgiveness, although you’re meant to use it only with people you’re close with like family and friends (for people you’re not close with use Endeavor or Hawks’ apology).

Basically Enji is begging his son and his family to forgive him with this ‘I’m sorry’ because he’s finally acknowledging he didn’t just ‘wronged them’, he is understanding how badly he wronged them and is so very sorry about it.

Basically previously Enji finally took seriously the consequences of his actions, but he still doesn’t quite grasp how much at fault he was, how much he hurt others. Now he does. He didn’t just troubled them, he hurt them and even if it happened in the past they still carry the psychological consequences of it and might carry them for the rest of their lives if he doesn’t manage to atone to them properly.

And when Tōya doesn’t just forgive him but professes his hate for him, he accepts this, he respect his son’s feelings and doesn’t try to escape to it. He tells Tōya to tell him more. This time he’ll listen, he’ll be there even if it’s painful for him, because saying all that IS GOOD FOR TŌYA.

And, since he’s at it, he apologizes also to his whole family and it’s all ‘gomen na’ (ごめんな).

Yes, it’s not a great apology speech, not to Tōya nor to the rest of the family. There are plenty of ways he wronged them but he’s picking one for each of them… and my poor Shōto gets solely a sorry without him even picking a thing for Shōto.

But, credits when it’s due, he’s not in the best physical situation and the real core of the apology isn’t that it’s a literary masterpiece… it’s that this time IT’S FINALLY HEARTFELT. This time he’s genuinely sorry for causing pain TO THEM, not for himself but FOR THEM, this time he wants to soothe their hurt that’s why he’s saying he’s sorry.

He doesn’t expect them to comfort him, he is fine if they toss hurtfull words at him, acutally he asks for them, to tell him how they feel, because he wants to make them feel better.

Yes, he still has a long way to go but he’s finally there, he’s finally ready to do all he can to have his family forgive him, even if he has to crawl, even if he has to face pain physical and psychological, because he’s sorry he has hurt THEM and wants THEM to feel better and that’s exactly the whole point of atoning.

You wants to ‘save’ the others from the pain you inflicted them.

However, at this point in the manga… we might never get to see step 5 because we likely will never see the end of step 4. Enji will have to work for his atonement, to get his family to forgive him… not because it’ll make him feel better, but because it’ll make them feel better.

The story will probably end with the promise he’ll work in this direction and, since this is an optimistic story, the idea is, of course, that he’ll manage to atone eventually, that he’ll manage to do enough for his family to fix all his wrongdoing. We’ll probably be asked to just… believe he’ll do it instead than seeing it, and the most we’ll get will be at most a flash forward showing him finishing to do so, having done so.

So yes, in a way we were right and in a way we were tricked. We were right into thinking the redemption arc was unsatisfying because we were tricked into thinking we were watching a redemption arc coming to full course, when instead Enji’s arc was not about redeeming himself but about coming to the point in which he could start working to redeem himself, the point in which he would genuinely understand his wrongdoings, the consequences they had and feel sorry for someone else that’s not him.

He created his family to basically take care of his needs, but now he’s finally ready to be the one who’ll take care of his family’s needs. He’s ready to be a father. He’s ready to try to work to deserve to sit at that table with his family and be happy for simple things with them. It took him a long time but finally he managed to work in the right direction.

At least… that’s my interpretation of his arc. As I’m not Horikoshi I might, of course, be wrong.

Said all this, thank you for sitting with me in this long analysis.

#great meta through and through #including part 1!#i maybe disagree a bit in that i do think enji did recognize some of his fault earlier #and felt appropriately heartfelt emotions about this #he does feel regret guilt grief sorrow etc and i do think this is outside his duty as a hero #(him hugging natsuo in EA arc is a good example -- it's deeply emotional.#he does care and he does want his son to be able to speak his feelings to him. but as a hero he failed...#and that contributed to his idea that separating from the family was the best idea.)#i think the best way to interpret enji is that he is quite emotional about his family and his atonement #but that he is... unable to understand or process those feelings in a way that matters.#he has these very pathological ways of thinking #like how he is a hero and thus everything in his life is a slave to that identity #or how he subsequently sees himself in isolation from others which makes him unablr to connect with his family #or even the immense selfish insecurity and self-hatred he has that drives his heroism #these are all embedded into how he thinks and sees the world #so even as he turns a corner to try and atone these thought processes impede him #no matter how terrible he feels the narrative he creates for his atonement is plagued by these patterns #inevitably these are destructive ways of thinking. they will destroy his family and ultimately himself #that's why he cannot be the one to save touya. he cannot even save himself nevertheless his family #he can only condemn them because of who he is as a person and how he sees the world.#that's why the rest of the todorokis must save them. that's why shouto must save them. enji is incapable.#it's quite tragic. but now that the inferno has ended there's hope. even for a man condemned like him #reblog #bnha

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kacchanisms · 8 months

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I’m not the only one laughing at All Might fighting a baby, right?

#PREV TAG #god i enjoyed tonights leak night #mha #mha leaks

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kacchanisms · 8 months

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Another thing and then I'm off again but in a just world these two would cannibalise each other

#IVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR AGES #this is why i have like two separate aus where they cannibalize each other #dabien #bnha

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kacchanisms · 9 months

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Do you think Hawks will die to save Toga?

Personally, I wouldn't like it if either of them died. Like, the potential narrative payoff here would be strongest if both of them lived, imo. I would rather see a situation where Keigo donates just enough blood to stabilize them both, rather than a situation where one person completely exsanguinates themselves and leaves behind a rash of trauma and unresolved feelings in the person they "saved."

I'm definitely not the best when it comes to Hawks meta, but I'll try my best to break down my personal feelings on why I feel both Keigo and Himiko need to live in order to "break the cycle":

1. You Can Start Over. I'll Help You.

This one's the biggest, most obvious point in favor of them both living imo. Hawks made an offer to help Jin start over, but rescinded that offer and immediately went for the kill the moment Jin showed signs of resistance. This was Keigo's biggest failure as both a hero and as an individual, and something he has yet to atone for.

In turn, Himiko believes there are no second chances-- that her only options are death or being locked away forever. So, she chooses death. She needs someone to offer her a third option.

The set up is there.

There's also the matter of Keigo and Himiko both stating that they want an "easier world" as their core motivation, and both of them state that they want to be the ones who help make that world.

Their goals only sound simplistic on the surface and serve as a mask for their respective traumas, but... ultimately, a world that's easier for Himiko to live in (where she is consensually given blood by someone who loves her and she is allowed to give her blood back to the world in return) is a world where heroes can finally take it easy-- because it's a world that nips the endless creation of its own "villains" in the bud, through unified acts of compassion and understanding.

Both characters have caused others intense pain and hurt others in their attempts to take shortcuts to the creation of an "easier world"-- Hawks is the hero that's "too fast," and Himiko is also associated with her near-supernatural speed. They're both too impatient and want the quickest possible results. Having both Himiko and Keigo living and learning the "right way" to create their ideal world-- and then, getting to be a part of that world as they both continue to atone-- feels much more meaningful than having one or both of them die before they can see that future reach fruition.

2. The Big, Suicidal Elephant in the Room

The majority of the LOV members all struggle with suicidal ideation-- Touya wants to set everything Endeavor ever chose over him ablaze, and he wants that inferno to also serve as his funeral pyre. Tomura has got a dissertation's worth of issues regarding his own mortality and self-perception/identity, and his whole "let's-just-destroy-it-all/we-don't-need-a-future-actually-lol" schtick has always been a symptom rather than a legit proposal for a cure. Himiko wants to disappear into the identities of the people she loves, because the world treats her a little more kindly when she isn't "Toga Himiko." The LOV trio's arcs all revolve around "death of the self" to some degree. (That said... resurrection and rebirth are also heavy themes within Tenko, Touya, and Himiko's arcs, soooo....)

Keigo also struggles with suicidal ideation and places the worth of his own life far, far, faaaaar below that of everyone else.

This has already been said, and shouldn't really need to be said in the first place, but-- people have every right to feel uncomfortable and criticize a story that attempts to validate suicidal characters by portraying their suicide in a noble/redemptive light.

Next!

3. It's All About All Mi-- Err..... Tomie?

"I was fine with that-- not saving her, turning my back on her. Me, who claims he wants to help people." - Hawks, about Tomie.

"I tried to go about things the right way" is a good line that touches on one of the core conflicts of Keigo's character: He suppresses so much of his natural instinct to do good so he can do "right."

Keigo knows in his heart of hearts that "the right way" doesn't save people like his mother, it didn't save Jin, and it's not going to save Himiko. He's been groomed into upholding the society and status quo that caused him and Tomie to nearly fall through the cracks in the first place-- and I've always found it both fascinating and sad that Keigo seems to equate choosing "the right way" (i.e. becoming a hero) to abandoning his mother. Keigo effectively being *sold* to the HPSC is what took Tomie off of the streets and gave her a roof over her head-- it gave her "a chance to start over." But Keigo doesn't seem to view this as true saving. With that in mind, his attempt to "save" Jin by essentially giving him the same offer the HPSC gave Tomie was always doomed end in failure.

Keigo: "My mother feared punishment for harboring a criminal, so she took me and ran."

Tomie first ran out of fear of being arrested after Takami Thief was captured-- which led to both her and Keigo being homeless for an extended period of time. She ran again after Dabi/Touya threatened her for information on Keigo, this time out of fear of her son-- a son who had became synonymous with "the law" she feared so much in her eyes. She can't bear facing him after her betrayal and implicitly fears punishment/condemnation from him (even though Keigo had *no* intention of punishing her)-- Tomie readily leaves behind the "normal" home and "normal" life that Hawks obtained for her through "doing things the right way," bc the imaginary threat of punishment and condemnation is something that comes across as worse for her. This only further convinces Keigo that he failed to save his mother, even though he's the one who's being betrayed and hurt by her.

I can't help seeing similarities between Tomie & Himiko's decisions to run out of an intense fear of punishment/imprisonment, and how this inevitably ties to Keigo. Keigo subconsciously realizes that he can't truly save people like Tomie, Jin, or Himiko as "Hawks" because "Hawks" is part of the problem. He longs to save others as himself-- as "Takami Keigo" (which is why the loss of his quirk kind of has me like "👀 👀 👀 whatcha gonna do next, turkey boy...,,..👀 👀 👀" )

As an aside, I seem to recall that transhawks made a few meta post where they talk about how there are traces of Jin's design in Tomie (esp her eyes, which have the same dead-eyed thousand yard stare) and that their resemblance is likely intentional (edit: link to one post pointing the resemblance out)-- It's not as overt, but imo, Himiko also resembles Tomie (just a little!) when she has her hair down.

Anyway! Both Jin and Himiko dying after Keigo A) has spent his whole life agonizing about how his own mother wasn't able to survive in their current society, B) has expressed guilt about how he didn't even try to save her and didn't make attempts to involve himself in her life, C) has talked at length about he wanted to be "more like Bubaigawara" and then proceeded to roleplay him, badly, for a good third of Act 3 (ohhhh boy ☠️☠️☠️), and D) had demanded that Toga be killed immediately after she arrives in Gunga, only for Ochako and Tsuyu to explicitly challenge and reject the idea that killing was the only option available.... idk, Himiko dying while Keigo does nothing would just feel massively incoherent at this point??

TL;DR The resolution to Keigo's arc currently hinges on addressing his origin, his identity, his guilt, and his ties to these three characters. Keigo feels that he failed with Tomie, and he explicitly failed with Jin-- and I personally don't think his arc can have a satisfactory ending without addressing those failures through Himiko, or without him trying to right where he went wrong by helping her in some capacity. This is a chance for him to finally follow his innate drive to do good over doing what their society dictates as "right."

----

All that being said, if Hori did decide to have Hawks sacrifice himself: Hawks choosing to sacrifice himself because he wants to believe in the future that the hero kids are creating and wants to believe that children like Himiko have a place in that future feels WAAAY more tonally consistent with mha's themes than Himiko choosing to sacrifice herself because she doesn't think she has a future

One message is about healing and hope and belief, the other is about failing to truly save someone who was already suicidal from their inevitable self destruction.

MHA has been defining true saving as "going above and beyond" for hundreds of chapters now-- true saving means saving a person's heart, body, and soul. It means giving them a future. By mha's own definitions, Himiko choosing to kill herself means she wasn't saved. Pure and simple-- You can't save the heart but not the body/soul (Himiko), you can't save the soul but not the body/heart (Touya), and you can't save the body but not the heart/soul (Tomura). There's a lot more work to be done here-- but that's fine, bc MHA has never depicted true saving or true healing as some magical, instantaneous thing. (#recoverygirldni)

#YES THIS TIMES 100 #AGREED ON ALL OF THESE #LOVE THE PANEL BY PANEL COMPARISON AS WELL!!!#i talked about this a bit on twitter too #another component of this involves the idea that hawks failed to reach out with Friendship #(after all during their fight twice actively talks about friendship and hawks does little engage with him on the topic #even if they were only fighting about friendship it would be necessary communication.)#contrast this with how ochako reached out to toga and had a talk about Romance/Love #friendship and love. hawks failed to reach out and make that connection where ochako succeeded #also hawks and toga's shared predator connotations. one is a considered a predator by quirk another is a predator by hero name/mask #plus killing by dropping someone from great heights...#they need to show that their true natures are not for predation but for truly saving others #they're birds in (mental) cages and they need to leave their cages for good before they die in them #god i have so much brainrot about the twicehawks and togachako plotlines connecting #because it's so complimentary and parallel to each other #and the connection just made like a whole segment of the story click for me #TFW The Writing Resonates #mha #hawks #toga #meta #fav #mha spoilers

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kacchanisms · 9 months

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heard she gave her blood

do not repost, reblog only

twitter | ig | commissions | prints | ko-fi

#GORGEOUS ART #fav #togachako #mha

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kacchanisms · 9 months

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I am not usually given to writing meta, but I just have so many thoughts about Hawks and I must forcibly eject them before my head explodes. I just love this character so much.

I think the resolution of his arc is going to be the end of Hawks, and the beginning of reclaiming his life as Takami Keigo.

Manga spoilers up through Ch. 395 under the cut!

Hawks the Celebrity and Hawks the Soldier

I love the layers to this guy. Like a traumatized cake.

Hawks is a scabbard of shiny glitter hiding a plain but deadly sword. And then Keigo Takami is a stuffed down vestigial thing he wants to forget about. I feel like his arc so far (as of Ch 395) reads as a stripping away of those layers. First Hawks the Celebrity Persona is exposed as a mask, in the course of the second war Hawks the Soldier is getting stripped away, and now all that’s left is Keigo Takami.

Side note: I think there’s a bit of a parallel there to Toga.

Hawks’s celebrity persona is all about public accessibility. He’s laid back, his expressions and body language are exaggerated, he’s hamming it up for the crowd. He’s getting a hell of a lot done with his feathers while making it look easy. After the failed raid, that persona is damaged in the public eye, and he just scraps it without fanfare. He starts presenting a less caricatured, starker version of Hawks - the sword without the distracting glittery scabbard. His affect is a lot flatter (and more like it was when he was a kid)(still kind of a troll though lmao). He’s not trying to play stupid or like he’s not taking a leadership role in the war like the competent (child) soldier he was trained to be. He’s less manipulative, because now he doesn’t need to bullshit around with maintaining the happy-go-lucky celebrity persona or give plausible deniability to his actions to the LoV - he can just get straight to talking battle tactics bluntly.

Even Soldier!Hawks, though, while it might be less performative and truer to his natural personality, is still a Hero, in the professional sense. He’s all business all the time.

Like. ALL the time.

The Hero vs the Person

A note - when I say Hero rather than hero, I’m explicitly referring to the in-story profession and all the political baggage it carries with it, not to heroism in a descriptive sense.

There’s a very distinct dichotomy in the narrative presentation of Endeavor and Enji Todoroki: as a professional Hero, he’s doing as well as you can by the numbers - a total success. And in his personal life, as a family man and a father, he’s absent, abusive, and an abject failure. Shoto even calls this out explicitly in the text.

In fact I’d argue it’s because he sacrificed his personal life to his Hero career that he’s such a shitshow as Enji Todoroki. The reason he started a family in the first place wasn’t because he wanted a family per se, it was in the interest of professional ambitions of beating All Might; the parts of the family that didn’t contribute to that goal to that he abandoned to Rei because they were no longer his concern, in his own mind, and then when she snapped he effectively put her out of sight and out of mind too.

(Fun sidenote bc I just noticed this while adding images: Endeavor is lit the same way here as Hawks was when he was gearing up to kill Twice.)

And then we have Hawks. As far as we’re shown, Hawks has NO personal life - the job is it. At the beginning, it’s not evident that he has many (or any) genuine personal connections at all. No family or close friends. He doesn’t just keep his name secret for security or because of his background; he was told as a child to leave it behind him entirely. According to the Team Up Mission side story "Hawks' Private Room", even his home is just a Commission-provided space with no personality whatsoever, and when he needs a moment’s peace away from it all he squats in a barely-furnished storage room.

Keigo’s most important relationship, according to the man himself, wasn’t even a real relationship for most of his life! It was just the idea of Endeavor. This has been said in other metas, but Hawks telling Nagant he’s been able to stay optimistic because he had support is the saddest damn thing, because no. He didn’t. He had a fantasy of it. Endeavor wasn’t supporting him; Endeavor didn’t know he existed for most of that time. Saving Keigo from his own shitty dad was a total side effect of him going about his job, one that he was completely oblivious to even after the fact. Keigo’s bar for what constitutes supporting him is buried six feet under ground (alongside his horrendous self esteem). His attachment issues have attachment issues.

NOW, at least, I think there’s a real relationship there of mutual trust and respect, but even while Endeavor has grown to trust Hawks’s skills and judgment, there was definitely a pretty one-directional effort up front in making that happen. I like to think that he at least appreciates it, but Hawks has always been the one to go out of his way to support Endeavor first and not vice versa. Ironically, while Hawks tells Endeavor “he goes for what he wants”, creating and seizing on opportunities to build a real connection with his hero is pretty much the only example of this I can think of that seems to stem from what he personally wants for himself.

What about his other personal wants and interests? (Aside from chicken and coffee.)

Maybe I’m reaching here. But I can’t help but read this as: Hawks wants to be able to finally take a fucking break, and the only world he can imagine doing that without feeling guilty for not doing more is one in which things are so peaceful that there’s not much for all Heroes to do. This mentality of self-absorbed self-sacrifice is reminiscent to me of Deku’s vigilante arc: I can’t rest until everyone can rest, and the only way that’ll happen is if I ignore the ends and set the whole candle on fire. This comes out too in his response to being given the undercover LoV mission.

Aka - the two things Keigo demonstrably wants as an individual are to be closer to his Hero idol, the figure he views as his main source of support; and he wants to rest - which he doesn’t feel like he can do now. This is a guy who’s desperate for reprieve and support, but can’t even properly articulate that he needs it, or justify his own need for it to himself unless he frames it in terms of being for the good of others (Endeavor, Hero society).

Hawks doesn’t allow himself to face his own emotions. Hawks has been raised to not value his own intrinsic worth as a person, and he extends that attitude to the people around him (with the exception of Endeavor, maybe). When push came to shove, Hawks the Hero made the decision to kill Twice. In that moment he wasn’t thinking emotionally of the one guy who actually reached out to him on a personal level, or what Bubaigawara wanted or valued. He was thinking of him strategically, in terms of his Quirk and what it would do on the battlefield. Hawks the Soldier made a call, and what Keigo the person might have felt about it one way or the other didn’t matter when it became apparent it wouldn't be quick and easy to sway Twice.

I think it’s been underplayed, a little, the degree to which killing Bubaigawara impacted him, because he hasn’t allowed himself to fully process it until this moment at the end of Ch 395. It’s been ground into him that he’s a weapon, and weapons get bloody; and even once he was externally out from under the HPSC’s thumb, there was a war on, and Soldier!Hawks couldn’t let himself rest when there’s work to do just to muddle through his own feelings. Who knows if Twice was the first person he’s killed, but it’s clearly framed as the first one that shook him. Bubaigawara has been really the only person who took initiative to reach out to him as a person to try and form (from Bubaigawara’s end at least) a genuine relationship. (Though I definitely don't want to discount the importance of Tokoyami being on the lookout and dashing off to save him. We stan our emo boy.)

So where am I going with this. Going back to the dichotomy of Hero vs. Person as pertains to Todoroki Enji, a big part of Enji’s arc has been recognizing that the problems caused by his failures as a man with a family could not be resolved by Endeavor in his role as a Hero.

This was never a challenge that Endeavor the Number 1 Hero was going to be able to beat through speed and strength and fire, for all the worrying from both him and Shoto over whose job it was to “stop Dabi”. The only way he could approach and begin to try repairing the damage, narratively speaking, was as Todoroki Enji. Endeavor couldn’t defeat Dabi; Enji had to face his son, and the rest of his family, as the husband and father who had wronged them. He had to start growing into the side of his life he had neglected in service to his career.

I think Hawks/Keigo, whose strongest (though largely parasocial) relationship was always with Endeavor the Hero, will end up following a similar path. Hawks the Hero can’t atone for the death of Bubaigawara Jin, an act that was blatantly portrayed as villainous in the narrative. I think Keigo the individual is the one who will have to recognize that what he did was wrong, acknowledge his own feelings about it to himself, and try to atone for the murder of his friend.

Fierce Wings: a gift and a burden

I think Hawks is not going to get his wings back, and that that’s a good thing, for Keigo.

(Or if he does, that they will be fundamentally different - eg just normal wings and no longer a stack of detachable knives.)

Something that’s been really interesting to me with his character is that wings are typically a symbol of freedom. And that’s true sometimes in his case too (making references to flying away free, in how he describes flight to Tokoyami). But his Fierce Wings are also referenced a lot as a burden and a symbol of obligation, or as a symbol of self-destructive self sacrifice. The way his wings work allow him to mask how much work he’s actually putting in - apparently walking casually down the street while actually paying attention to ten small crises at once. They’re referred to multiple times as dirty/filthy. How he uses them, how he’s been trained and encouraged to use them, is blatantly self-sacrificial.

Both his mother and the HPSC home in on his wings and their abilities as a source of utility for their own interests, and define his value by them. “Obviously if you have a Quirk like that, you have an obligation to use them to my benefit/to be a Hero.” It seems evident that that sense of obligation to sacrifice anything and everything he’s got for the “greater good” has been deeply internalized.

If the story’s going where I think it’s going, there’s a negative correlation between his freedom and the state of his wings in the time frame of the comic’s main storyline. When his wings were strong and uninjured, he was under both heavy surveillance from the PLF and the controlling directions of the HPSC.

Between the wars, when he still had his wings but they were badly damaged, he had a lot more autonomy. Nobody sticking cameras all over him, no handlers or supervisors giving him directions, freedom to take the reins himself - but he was still caged by the beliefs he internalized from the HPSC. Now his wings are gone entirely, and hopefully, he’s finally ready to step outside of that cage in his mind and find freedom from the black and white “justice” mindset he was raised in.

Again, I don’t think losing his wings is a bad thing. I don’t think it will be an easy transition for him, but I think in the time his wings have been healing and he hasn’t had to put up the celebrity mask, it’s become evident to people (and maybe a little to himself who knows) that there’s more to the guy than some flashy feathers. And there’s been a strong theme I think throughout the story that while a Quirk might be traditionally be seen as key to being a professional Hero (aka, a Professional Guy-Allowed-to-Use-My-Quirk-For-Law-Enforcement-and-Emergency-Response-Slash-Celebrity), possession or use of a Quirk has nothing to do with being heroic or even being involved in the Heroics industry. Take Hatsume Mei, for example - her talent and skill has little to no reliance on her Quirk. Without the focus on his Fierce Wings, maybe people will see and appreciate the other things he can bring to the table.

I think Hawks the Hero is going to “die” with his wings, but that Keigo will have a chance to actually live.

Keigo’s Starting Line?

On top of losing his wings, he’s also lost his flightsuit top - or more importantly, from a visual storytelling standpoint, he no longer has the logo of the HPSC painted across his chest. Everything that made Hawks Hawks has been stripped away, and all that’s left is Takami Keigo. Icarus has fallen to rock bottom.

We see him in 391 pretty much half dead but still standing ready to fight with his katana in hand...

But then in 395 he’s empty handed as one of Toga’s dissipating Twice clones takes a swipe at him with a knife. He's also flipped sides in the frame, fwiw - I haven't done really any frame by frame analysis of how the comic uses panel framing narratively but it's interesting.

He’s lamenting over Bubaigawara, just having witnessed Uraraka finding a middle way and actually reaching Toga instead of taking her out. (I assume he could at least kind of see what was going on in the sky??? I guess we will find out.) I really think that he didn’t want to kill Twice, but that what he wanted as a person was less important than what he thought was the “necessary thing to do”. He legitimately didn’t think there was a better option until Uraraka modeled it, because that’s not how he’s been trained, and he was still trapped in that mindset. Now he sees there was another approach he could have tried, and he’s got no excuse of “I had literally no other choice” shielding him from his own feelings of guilt and sadness and regret. Stripped down to nothing, he feels like he deserves for Toga-as-Twice to kill him.

I’ve seen this theory already posted elsewhere and I’m 100% on board: the thematic next step is for him to step in and help Toga, the friend of the friend he killed, even though she (rightfully) hates him. Horikoshi has said in interview that Uraraka and Hawks stand out as lights of hope in this arc, and I can’t think of a better way for Hawks to do that than to finally break through the emotional distance that was trained into him, reject the HPSC’s and his own unforgiving mindset, recognize his wrongdoing and acknowledge his feelings around it, and follow Ochako’s example.

Someone please actually support this kid

I’m on the hope-pill train, and I think the overwhelming majority of the major characters (on both sides) are going to make it through alive, including Keigo.

I think the between-wars part of the story has a kind of ramp for Hawks socially. In the past he’s had sidekicks, yes, but was always ahead of them, not willing to slow down to acknowledge others when there’s work to be done. Now though, first with Tokoyami and then in teaming up with the other pro Heroes, he hasn’t had to slow down - everybody’s keeping pace. He’s in business/Hero mode, yes, but now he’s collaborating with people to come up with and execute plans, instead of taking orders and executing them in isolation. I really hope that some of those connections stick.

Something I desperately would like to see is someone else reaching out to him first to support him post-war. Whether that’s Tokoyami coming to the rescue a second time, or…well, literally anyone. I will take anyone at this point who is not a literal toy, lol, just someone give that boy someone who’ll support him as a person and not just as Hawks.

#don't necessarily agree with every point in this but i do think this is a good analysis #i really have to underline the endeavor comparison because ppl don't always see it #hawks can't just leave everything behind in the past. he thinks he can but that's why he doesn’t see it #the fact that he too must find ways to atone... that's a realization he's maybe only going to come to now #that being said my minor objection is... who exactly is keigo?#and does hawks actually reject keigo?#hawks is arguably the pro hero that has shown his child self the most #his adoration of endeavor predates his hero name as well #i always considered hawks' inner child panel to be the idea that keigo is still in him #and hasn't been rejected the way that tomura's (hawks' villain parallel) has #hawks genuinely wants a way forward. a better world and something to hold out for #it's what makes him heroic. persistent. unlikely to go down nagant's path #because however childish it may be he has something to hold on to #juxtaposing the use of the endeavor plushie to how AM trinkets are used in the final arc #it represents something authentic. inner feelings... admiration... regrets... the emotions you bury #but that you need. emotions you bury which are fundamental to who you are #if you were stripped down to your bare essentials that would be the last thing inside you #so... i expect we'll see hawks' child self soon #anyway going back to that question of identity #of becoming just keigo after the war. what exactly does that entail?#i think the options are still very open in terms of answering this question.#in terms of his wings... his identity as a hero... his rships to endeavor tokoyami etc...#guess we'll just have to wait and see!#hawks #mha

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kacchanisms · 9 months

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(spoilers for mha 395)

the final arc of mha is intentionally written to be the most pacifistic. the heroes want to save the core villains, to prove that their hearts have changed, to show that their society is redeemable, that they have a future. toga dying would collapse the whole arc.

it would be an egregious misstep on the author's side to shatter the narrative they spent nearly 400 chapters on. pairings and other nonsense aside, this ending would run directly counter to the ideas of the story.

there's foreshadowing as well. in toga's "final" moments, she refuses to be arrested. for her, it's freedom or death, living freely as a villain or dying before she's captured.

hawks said to twice to turn himself in or die. freedom or death, twice fought and died.

there has to be a third option, where toga can live freely as she is. ochako offered her another path through the promise of giving her blood, by telling her that her authentic self was beautiful, that her love was genuine and worthy of being reciprocated. acceptance.

hawks failed to see another path when he confronted twice. he didn't come to the battlefield with the desire to communicate, he came with his weapons out to arrest twice, no discussion. he had another choice there, you know? to reach out with real friendship. but he didn't.

ochako has done what hawks could not. she's forged a deep emotional connection with toga. now, hawks has to provide the third option, where toga doesn't die, where she can live freely as herself without imprisonment.

i don't know how toga will be saved from death. but hawks... has the potential to give toga a new future. he was once the child of a villain, someone who had no other avenues in life, who was eventually taken captive by the hero institution and trained into a child soldier. ultimately, hawks is a kind soul. all hawks ever held in his heart was the desire to help others, a savior complex, but this was exploited to make him a false hero, a bird in a cage. after his mother left, he saw a way out, but the mentality still remains to go for the kill.

... because he's a "hawk". a name that taught him how to be a predator.

himiko is also a bird. she's associated with sparrow imagery. she has a free love for others; in another world, she would've liked to help them. as she is, she is happy that she lived as she wanted.

since she was young, society has treated her love as predatory, which left a lasting impression on her self-worth. it forced her into a cage, one that was impossible for her to live in, until she finally became a villain so that she could live freely.

hawks and toga are akin to each other. they've both dropped a person from great heights. but they're also not irredeemable.

and hawks killed twice, toga's friend. those two are bound to interact one more time, just for that. this time hawks has the option to spare toga.

hawks and toga are bound by twice's death, a murderer and the best friend of the person he murdered. so hawks has obligations he needs to fulfill towards toga, to even begin to make it up to her. saving her would be the first step. since toga now parallels twice in this situation, hawks is also arriving at his own reckoning, just like how endeavor had to finally engage with touya, reckon with his own actions as a father. like endeavor, he may be tempted to self-destruct alongside his victim, or... he's crucial to saving her.

it's also maybe the only way out of the cage for hawks, too. the way to rid himself of the influence his hero-soldier upbringing had on him. to possibly acknowledge, apologize or atone for his actions.

with his past, hawks might have the chance to give toga another option -- to live freely, either as a rehabilitating civilian or a hero. she would be able to stay by ochako's side, where, like the LoV, ochako would reciprocate her love and provide her acceptance and community.

either way, there's so much set up for a strong ending with toga, building off mha's themes of redemption, acceptance, reaching out not with violence but with care and understanding. killing toga permanently would wreck all the careful work that went into this narrative.

#bnha 395 #mha 395 #mha spoilers #togachako #hawks #mha #i love how these past few chapters have clicked like. MULTIPLE plotlines into place for me #crossposted #meta

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kacchanisms · 9 months

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i was asked about my thoughts on izuku and enji so... buckle up. here's about 2.5k words on them, because I LOVE THOSE TWO. they're a highly underrated dynamic! i know the enji-bkg parallels are more evident in the manga, but enji-deku is far more salient as an actual mentor-mentee relationship. (which tends to be the norm for mha.)

so here's a few points of interest for me in regards to them:

one element that's intriguing in their dynamic is how much deku is compared to all might. both shouto and enji's interactions with deku in sports festival concern his resemblance to all might, initially concerning quirk, but more deeply concerning his savior nature. and it's not just a passing element either. it's deku's "resemblance" to AM that helps shouto unlock his fire. deku's drive is what snaps enji into action as well in the first war arc. by the time we reach the last war arc, enji says deku's name in the same idolizing breath as he does all might.

this idolatry is fascinating to me. deku has a couple idols, all might and kacchan, but he's otherwise someone who forges his own way, learning bits and pieces from others. he's less idolizing than you'd expect. enji, on the other hand... he's very idolizing, and for a long time, i don't think he ever understands his own idolatry. he represses those feelings of admiration, refuses to engage or understand them. but he idolizes all might (which he resents, which he can't understand), deku, shouto... even touya, maybe hawks to a degree. he idolizes the younger generation, which i think is such a strange but interesting trait for a man like him to have. he has an absolutely monstrous inferiority complex and mind wired for idealism and that fucks him up, because he will always see himself in deficit. compare to deku, who's a bit scared of measuring up to AM's legacy, but is ultimately unafraid to be himself, his "deku who never gives up!" self. deku speaks and acts from the heart, puts himself into everything, and he has a natural gravitas, a saving grace. (he has his own issues as well, but enji can't see that.) and endeavor, on the other hand, keeps his heart under lock and key because it's a weak and wounded thing. he can't wear it on his sleeve because then everyone would know what a terrible, inferior man he is. so there's a part of enji that just can't help but idolize people like AM or deku or shouto who seemingly wear their pure and strong hearts out in the open, unafraid of who they are. (seemingly. again, the idolizing gaze is also a very biased one.)

legacy is such a heavy theme in MHA. there are two forms of legacy that lay between enji and deku. the first is the dichotomy they're introduced with, which is AM & deku vs endeavor & shouto. this dichotomy never disappears entirely, but it is deconstructed and examined. how much of AM's fatal flaw is in deku? (too much, given how he nearly self-destructs in vigilante arc.) how much of endeavor's fatal flaw is in shouto? (too much until sports festival, the same obsession but turned towards a different target.) then, vice versa! the good traits, the inspiration that AM and endeavor respectively take from their successors, their relationships with their protégés are intended to be understood in parallel. but this is where enji and AM have more in common than deku and shouto. (tomura and touya later complicate these dynamics.)

the second, and more pertinent to enji and deku's dynamic, is "you're next." deku (and kacchan) are the recipient(s) of that ultimatum. but within the story itself, the next number one hero is... endeavor. the entirety of MHA's part II (post-kamino through end of the paranormal liberation war arc) contends with the fall of AM and what symbols come after. deku is not the only one to have a serious conversation with AM about forging a new legacy -- enji has an incredibly important conversation with him, too. both of them are encouraged to build new legacies, to not follow the same isolating path that AM took, to find hero partners who understand and bolster them -- bkg and hawks, respectively. they both develop as people and as heroes. deku begins to learn more about OFA, about the secrets hidden within it, and enji reckons with his past abusive actions, with the slow unveiling of his family drama. deku fights villains outside the scope of OFA, gains new perspectives, which contrasts with enji, who fights several villains that are related entirely to his own family legacy, although he's unaware of it for a while. new vs old.

then, of course, both of them confront legacy at the end of the first war arc. for deku, this is a look into the past, into the conflict between AFO and OFA, into the parasitic/symbiotic relationships that AFO+OFA have with their heirs. for enji, this is a confrontation with his past, with touya, the long lost son, the corrupted heir. new vs old -- because deku doesn't carry the personal responsibility of OFA+AFO's past, he can desperately claw forward to try and reach shigaraki. because enji carries personal responsibility for his family's agony, he is frozen, unable to reach touya. during this confrontation, deku and enji's respective (de facto) hero partners are also implicated in their legacy struggles -- both bkg and hawks face repercussions from their counterparts' enemies.

then, after the first war arc winds down, we get full meetings, stories. deku and endeavor are explicitly paralleled throughout the war arc fallout. volume 31 has deku and all might on the outside cover, endeavor, hawks, and touya on the inside. when the villains make their retreat, AFO says that tomura was bested by one for all AND endeavor. multiple panels visually parallel the two of them. in the aftermath, the todoroki family come together to confront enji in his hospital bed, and most of the todoroki family backstory is unveiled. at the same time, the past OFA users come together to meet deku in OFAspace (while he's hospitalized as well), and most of their motives and relevant backstory is unveiled in the chapters between the end of war arc and throughout vigilante arc. interestingly, enji is also the first pro hero outside AM's circle to put two and two together and realize that deku bears OFA, the quirk shigaraki is hunting.

both deku and enji's mindsets degrade throughout vigilante arc. attempting to shoulder the burdens of OFA alone, deku becomes increasingly self-destructive. enji, on the other hand, recedes into his avoidant tendencies, unable to fully confront his own family's legacy. at the end of vigilante arc, class 1a first confronts endeavor. shouto specifically points out how enji's been avoiding him, how they were supposed to fight touya together. then class 1a moves to confront deku. while deku is in a far more belligerent mindset than enji, class 1a reaches out to him in order to tell him to come home, to not fight alone, to accept their help. these two confrontations run in parallel to say, "let's shoulder this burden together."

there's that infamous panel in the endeavor agency arc. lives rent-free in my head, truly. it's the one where enji notices that deku's quirk hurts him, says to himself that deku is "one of us." a quirk that hurts the user... enji empathizes with deku's flawed quirk. in that panel, he's reminded of touya, who also has a self-destructive quirk. he's also considering himself, since the very reason he started his eugenics project was because of his own quirk's debilitating weaknesses. in deku, he sees the same problem and the same drive to overcome weakness.

the notion of self-sacrifice and a tendency towards self-destruction is etched into these characters. a quirk, after all, reflects the user's personality. even OFA has chosen deku as its most representative user. both deku and enji have particular relationships with the concept of sacrifice. in life, they are both the type to sacrifice their personal life for heroics. in death (a limit that enji has approached), if they consider self-sacrifice a necessity for the good of everyone, for their own heroic sensibilities, they'll do it. everything in the name of heroism -- that's a tendency that's built into both of their characters. it's also society's attitude towards the profession itself, the fact that the most ideal hero is one that shirks all personal connections to become a symbol.

there's another parallel to be noted here as well. when bkg confronts enji alongside class 1a, he tells him what a terrible idea it is to let AM and deku operate together. both of them have the same character flaw and the ability to enable each other towards a self-destructive conclusion. something in bkg's words resonates with enji. perhaps because he too has a counterpart of the same kind, with the same flaws, with the same ability to self-destruct together -- touya.

deku and touya are very disparate characters, but enji draws a connection between them. i'd even say enji's grief over touya informs his behavior towards deku. going back to that issue of idolization, enji places deku on a pedestal in his mind. he tends to see deku as a symbol, a problematic viewpoint that he used for his own children before and hasn't entirely grown out of. to enji, deku is a treasured pupil, above bkg, closer to shouto's level. the feeling isn't necessarily mutual. deku doesn't idolize or have a complex concerning endeavor (like touya does), but he does see the humanity in the man. that's probably a far healthier mindset to have, between the two of them.

this may simply be a reiteration of what i said before, but deku and enji are far more similar than either of them receive credit for.

just look at their hero names. as i said, both of them have a need to overcome/reclaim their weakness. a striver mentality. they both chose names that they wanted to live up to, a creed to stand by. deku means "to do your best", endeavor means "hard work". to "never give up" vs to "never stop cursing your own weakness" -- the underlying meaning of their hero names are nearly identical. they're both incredibly persistent people who don't consider themselves naturally heroic.

both of them also have a tendency to repress, to shut out or avoid emotions. enji has likely suffered from this since he was young, and it became a full-fledged inferiority complex when his father died. izuku has also had some form of repression since he was young, of never considering his own needs, and at UA, this repression crystallized into a savior complex. these complexes emerged as both of them selected and began to embody their hero names. these names became masks. even considering other heroes and villains relevant to deku and endeavor's plotlines, few others utilize second names/masks the same way these two do. hawks and shigaraki weren't given any choice to have their original name replaced by their hero/villain name; both bkg and shouto chose to live authentically, to just be themselves. for touya, dabi was an interim identity. the closest parallel in terms of hero names is all might himself. AM, deku, endeavor... they have a tendency to let their own legacies consume them, to suppress their feelings and wear their names as aspirations, symbols, masks.

like AM, deku puts on a nicer mask, says "i'm fine" and attempts to smile, while endeavor puts on a cold one, a bad attitude, a scowl. (enji, of course, is a lot more temperamentally similar to bkg. they both share inferiority complexes.) even though deku's mask is superficially better, he ends up in a self-destructive, unhappy spiral all the same, lashing out, telling his friends that they "can't keep up with him". deku takes after AM's isolation and follows bkg's old habits in this situation, yet deku's loneliness during the vigilante arc isn't dissimilar to enji's loneliness. both of them, in their worst mentalities, reject intimate emotional connection with others. when they are burdened by their feelings, they resort to avoidance and intensity, even (emotional/physical) violence. where that violence is then directed is then a matter of the individual. is it inwards, outwards, or both? towards villains, classmates, family members, or yourself? enji hurt those closest to him for years, while deku thankfully directed most of his anguish towards villains. both of them do turn their violence inwards, though, towards themselves -- enji, in his self-loathing, and deku, in his self-neglect.

(bkg is also relevant to this analysis, but unlike both enji and deku, bkg's repression is exhibited very differently towards the final arc.)

while they have improved significantly from their worst moments, deku and enji entered the final arc of MHA with this repression problem still hanging over them. it made them both mentally weak, easier to manipulate. in enji and deku's first confrontations with AFO/shigAFO, their complicated emotions about touya/bkg's "deaths" made them freeze initially. their defenses lowered, they began to exhibit uncontrolled, berserk behavior. deku calmed down before shigAFO managed to exploit his weakness, however, enji received several wounds for that same weakness.

then, in order to achieve their current goals (defeating AFO/finding tomura within shigAFO), both of them swallowed down their emotions. they suppressed themselves once again to perform their job. while both of them fought excellently after this point, their negative habits remained. they battled intensely, with raging hearts, with a self-destructive edge. in their respective battlefields, they delivered final attacks that echo what happened to touya and bkg -- in endeavor's case, he burns AFO to a husk, and in deku's case, he punches a hole through shigAFO's chest. these wounds force both villains to enter their next stage. AFO begins to rewind, tomura rids himself of AFO's control. at this point in the battle, enji and deku have both achieved their first objectives. enji defeats AFO once, his villainous parallel. ("i'll keep raging against myself.") deku frees tomura from AFO's control, his destined nemesis. ("you're gonna be the one to complete one for all.")

after this, they both fight onwards, towards their true objectives. enji and deku finally face touya and tomura 1-on-1. at this point in the manga, i'm uncertain how deku's attempt to save tenko will play out, but endeavor's climactic moment has concluded. in order to save touya, he had to see him in his entirety, to take responsibility. the rest of the todoroki family had to anchor them until shouto came with the final blow, tearing down the boundaries between him and touya, doing away with the term "masterpiece". then, lastly, enji had to release the emotions he's been holding in all this time and apologize to touya (and the rest of the family), which spurred touya to finally voice his innermost emotions as well.

i can't predict how this will compare to deku saving tenko, especially since that dynamic is also likely to parallel ochako saving toga. however, in both touya and toga's cases, they needed particular people to show them attention, care, and love. they needed understanding and vulnerability from their respective heroes before they were willing to let down their guard. so in deku's case, he will need to admit/embrace whatever emotions he's been restraining before he can expect tenko to reciprocate, just like what shouto, enji, and ochako did.

anyway, those are my current thoughts on deku and endeavor! i hope that clarifies my perspective on them.

#bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #izuku midoriya #enji todoroki #mha #i got this ask on retrospring and was gifted with some incredible brainrot #whoops

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