🅱️LIZZARD 🅱️LEASE

every culture has their ethnic donut and every culture has their ethnic dumpling… humans be frying dough

johnny bravo is a himbo

getting notes on this website is like jingling keys in front of a toddler

i am a bright and colourful piñata and god is a 13 year old birthday boy whose parents have just announced their divorce.

star wars fandom was the most disappointing fucking fandom EVER like we had JOHN BOYEGA and OSCAR ISAAC!!! two of the sexiest thottiest big dick energy-ist bitches out here and fandom said “no no no i dont want that i wanna suck on kylo rens toes” LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE ill never be over it

Cheating is a choice, not a mistake.

If anybody needs me I’m up here

me .01 seconds after emphatically saying yes to plans

i was looking up drawing refs for couples and was like “why are they all a man and a woman??” and then i remembered heterosexuality

Me: *asks my followers to send me writing prompts*

My Followers: *send writing prompts to my inbox*

california? you mean the place in the red hot chili peppers songs? you know that’s not real right?

aint no condoms in my wallet girl those are ramen noodle flavor packets 

me: hello darkness my old friend

darkness: I don’t know her