those dampened versions of ourselves

occupy two burdened shelves

wanted to hate you but wouldn’t dare

sometimes i think i do

It’s not trespassing if you’re a girl. It’s just going for a walk

i've been using your skinny boyfriend as a bookmark lately when you're gone and Um well I hate to tell you this but he fell out of my book at the library and I can't find him

beaver

Engineers going to uni for years to learn what beavers 🦫 know intuitively. Embarrassing.

rip chester

God, I can't tell you how much the "there's not enough enrichment in my enclosure" joke has helped my mental health. Because, for some reason I can't comprehend, pretending that I'm a zoo keeper caring for an animal (which is also me) just makes everything easier to comprehend. Like "Your head gets screwey when you're apartment is messy" just doesn't carry as much resonance as "The tiger becomes agitated when its enclosure is cluttered" because then I'll be like, no shit? The tiger? I've gotta keep things nice and clean for the tiger.

I play pot of weed and end my turn

i am criggit

the fact that we need 8 hours of sleep is ridiculous we should only need 4 and the other 4 should be used to be cozy in your bed and rub your legs together like a cricket and listen to music and think about your little scenarios

This what some y’all’s boyfriends lookin like.

I really really wish I was a cat, I’m not built for this capatalist society but I am built for sleeping 19 hours a day and knocking things over

babies onboard!