Flexy Sexy

Peanut Butter and Jelly. Ben and Jerry. Meghan and Harry. Some things just go better together.

The same can be said for flexibility and sex. When you think of this fine pairing, what comes to mind? The splits? Yogic athleticism? Double-jointedness? Sure, muscular-skeletal pliability may be an asset during sexual engagements. But I’m talking about flexibility of the mind.

Because the brain is our most important sex organ, it’s comforting to know that it has the ability to adapt. This potential is clinically referred to as “neuroplasticity”, but all you need to remember is that the brain is trainable.

Scientists acknowledge that the brain has more flexibility as it’s developing. Adults, therefore, have to make a concerted effort to introduce new concepts and make them stick. But when you’re seeking more satisfying sex, putting in the time is a most worthy endeavor.

If you’re experiencing a sexual rut; if you feel like it’s impossible to tune out the seemingly endless to-do list while you’re being intimate with your partner; if you can’t accommodate some self-pleasure in your schedule: take charge and be a sexual change agent. Mindfulness techniques, strategizing with a counselor or coach, perusing our website – any of these neuro-gymnastic events can help you get loose, limber up, and look forward to better sex!   

For guidance or more information on your sexual health, contact us for a free phone consult!

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Say Something!

On a recent episode of HGTV’s Fixer To Fabulous, Dave Marrs  playfully tells his wife, Jenny “your butt looks good in those jeans.” She smiles and thanks him for the compliment. After what seems like an eternal silence, Dave says “you can also tell me my butt looks good in my jeans, you know!”  While that was a brief interlude in the show, and they quickly got back to home renovations, that scene gave me pause for reflection.

I’m thinking about many women I see at Maze Women’s Health, and one in particular.  She has a stressful job and her definition of a successful day is just getting through the day, with little emotional capital remaining for much else. Her husband is more inclined to express and articulate his feelings for her.  Over the years, he has always been more demonstrative of his affection for her. She is more of a “yup, me too” type.  As the years have gone on this way, said husband is feeling dispirited.

Life and love are truly blessings worthy of gratitude. A good and healthy life and a wonderful love are even more so. We are all human and sometimes we take things for granted even though, deep in our heart, WE know how we feel.  Sometimes, it’s necessary to transform the feelings in our heart into words from our mouth!

We see signs all over about threats to our safety like “if you see something, say something.” Perhaps, to reduce threats to our most cherished relationships, it’s vital to say something in kind to your partner.

By the way, toward the end of the show, Jenny turns to Dave and says, “hey, I like how your butt looks in your jeans .”    

For more information about your sexual health, schedule a free phone consult today!

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Snapping Back…

There’s been a lot of talk about resilience, flexibility, adaptability, creativity as it pertains to the current pandemic. These words have always applied to life in general as sadly we know that no one gets by in this world without some scars. Yet, “there are people who snap when they’re knocked down and those who snap back”. The good news is that we can learn to be resilient which is the skill to persevere under conditions of enormous strain and change.

I read a study by Diane L Couto titled How Resilience Works. This is what I gleaned: Those who have studied resilience found overlap when it comes to 3 characteristics of resilient people.

They have a staunch acceptance of reality and down to earth views of those parts of reality that matter for existence.

A rooted belief strengthened by deeply held values that life is meaningful, and they are thus able to make meaning in terrible times.

An uncanny facility to improvise (my personal favorite!). This characteristic is about the ability to imagine possibilities as well as to make the most with what you have.

When I think of resilience, I’m reminded of the Maze Vaginismus Forum. Our participants are from diverse backgrounds and live all over the world however they share many common traits. It’s inspiring to be exposed to so many people who are willing to share their struggles and successes in order to help themselves and others facing the challenge of vaginismus. Today I woke up to read the following post on the forum: “Don’t lose hope, ‘we’re in this together <3’ that kind of optimism and drive is what helped me get through the treatment” – Now, that’s what I’m talking about!  

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The Case For Vibrators

Vibrators have taken a bad rap. Truthfully, they can be the most useful and easy tool in a woman’s sexual arsenal. And yet, vibrators have been relegated to the sidelines. Is it because sometimes women think of them as “kinky?” Is it because women are afraid that the use of a vibrator will make their partner feel inadequate? Is it because women feel like there is something wrong with them if they use a vibrator? Is it because they are afraid that they will become dependent on a vibrator?

The reality is that vibrators are not “kinky,” (whatever kinky is…frankly I haven’t heard a great definition for it; mostly it seems to be a word used for something you haven’t really tried yet) and there is nothing “wrong” with a woman who uses one. Vibrators aren’t just for masturbation; they are often used in partner sex as well, either before intercourse, after intercourse or instead of intercourse.

The bottom line is that a vibrator can give a longer, stronger level of stimulation than a hand, a mouth or a penis can. Here’s one of my favorite statistics (and once you hear it from me, I promise it will start to blink at you from everywhere) : 30% of women can have an orgasm from a penis in the vagina alone. 70–80% of women can have an orgasm from a hand or a mouth. And a whopping 94% can have one with a vibrator.

For some women, a vibrator is just necessary. As they get older it becomes harder to have an orgasm and the vibrator makes it easier (or possible.) Because having an orgasm is so much easier for them, many women in this situation talk about how “it takes the stress out.” Some of them describe a situation where during sex they had been so focused on “getting to the orgasm” and “what happens if I don’t have one?” that it had taken the fun out of sex and the vibrator let them relax and enjoy themselves. Here’s some advice: If you are in this category of women, use the vibrator when you are having sex with your partner, it will make the sex more fun and less stressful. Your partner won’t have to “work so hard,” you won’t feel so guilty for making your partner “keep at it,” and your orgasms will probably be stronger.

For some woman a vibrator is not necessary, it’s just easier and faster. And you know what, for whatever reason easier and faster may be important at this time in their life. (Ever try having sex after you put your 2-year-old to bed and before your newborn wakes up for a feeding? Trust me, it gives new meaning to the term “quickly”). And for some women, a vibrator is just plain fun!

And don’t tell me that a vibrator is “unnatural.” Phooey! So is the electric light bulb. We don’t live our lives by candlelight in an attempt to “remain natural.” Use the vibrator if you like it.

So… what’s stopping us? The bottom line is that vibrators make having orgasms so much easier and in many cases more intense. They also may make it possible for many women to have more than one orgasm. So if you think you fall into any one of these categories, go back and dust off your old vibrator. Or go find yourself a new one, and have fun!! (Check out my Free Video Series on How To Choose A Vibrator)

For more information about your sexual health, contact us for a free phone consult!

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Put A Ring On It

There is a new kind of birth control on the market, and it’s called Annovera.  Annovera is a silicone ring, containing two female hormones, an estrogen (ethinyl estradiol) a progestin (segesterone acetate).  Like other rings on the market, it’s meant to be inserted into the vagina, and kept in place for 21 days.  Then removed for 7 days, during which the woman gets her “withdrawal bleed”.  When used properly, it is just as effective at preventing pregnancy (97.3% effective, according to the drug maker).  It can be used during intercourse, but if preferred, can be removed for up to 2 hours and then replaced.  It can also be used with tampons.  However, it is important to keep in mind that ANY method of hormonal contraception that suppresses ovulation can also decrease your sex drive.  Annovera is also no different, in this regard.

What’s new about this ring, you ask?  What makes it different than the NuvaRing?  Well, the major difference is that this ring is meant to be used for an entire year!  That means it is good for 13 cycles, which is 13 periods.  Other rings on the market can only be used for 1 month or 1 cycle, and are then discarded.  Annovera just needs to be cleaned with mild soap and water, patted dry and then reinserted after 7 days of withdrawal.  It also comes with a compact storage case, so you can take it with you wherever you go, and keep it safe from pets and small children.

What makes this ring interesting, you ask?  Well, in a post COVID world, when women are reluctant to leave their home to go to the pharmacy – a method of birth control that does not require a monthly renewal becomes appealing.  There have also been some concerning reports about supply chain issues impacting the availability of certain forms of prescription birth control and over-the-counter options, such as condoms.  While this is less likely to be an immediate issue in the U.S., shortages could impact everyone at some point – and that makes it wise to have a reliable method at your fingertips.  Another benefit is cost.  If the price of birth control were to go up over the next year – either due to supply chain issues, or loss of insurance coverage then securing a fixed and flat up-front expense for your contraceptive now makes total sense.  And from a global health perspective, Annovera could potentially have a huge impact in developing nations, where women have to drive or walk many miles to receive any kind of healthcare. 

These are scary times we are living in, and women’s health may suffer as result.  The United nations recently projected 7 million unplanned pregnancies globally if the shutdown were to extend to 6 months.  Annovera provides a well-timed solution to the problem of access in women’s healthcare.  Have a conversation with your provider today, to see if this form of birth control is right for you.

For more information about your sexual health, contact us for a free phone consult. 

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Vibe Resentment

Nope, not talking about buyer’s remorse. I’m talking about what I hear from some women when I ask if they use a vibrator. These conversations go a little something like this:

“Well, I mean, I have one, but I don’t like it/I hate it/I don’t want anything to do with it”.

“Why – what do you think the barrier is?”

“He bought it for me”.

Some women just aren’t interested in toys. Others have tried but are not satisfied (because it’s likely not the right one for them). However, most of the time, the reason they avoid their partner’s gift is because it represents pressure. Pressure to engage sexually when they are experiencing low libido. So, purchasers of said vibe try to legitimately help the situation and don’t understand the rejection. The recipients of the swag become upset. And often, what comes next? N O T H I N G.

Why? Because we’re not raised to talk about sex with our partners and that’s just so counterproductive! If we don’t communicate our preferences and needs, we just dig ourselves deeper into a hole of dissatisfaction and bitterness.

Vibe selection is intensely personal. Some partners hit the jackpot and it all works out for the best. But if you are interested in choosing your own and have no idea where to start, or if you need help learning how to communicate with your partner about sex (or anything else!), please give us a call.

We can help you sort through it all so you can decide what’s right for you while you work your way back to healthy and satisfying sexuality. Contact us for a free phone consultation today!

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SIM: The White Lotus

SPOILER ALERT…

So HBO set us off on yet another well-done adventure that focuses on shiny surfaces teeming with a things-aren’t-as-they-seem underbelly. The first season had a killer cast, the backdrop of the Four Seasons Maui Resort, a fascinating score and a very upstairs/downstairs approach to rich white people on vacation and the employees who serve them and their every whim.

There are lot of bodies in bathing suits, bodies in bed, bodies trying to connect and bodies hoping to escape a variety of situations. So if skin is what you’re after, you’ll find no shortage here. The acting is stellar, the writing is spot-on, the production is visually arresting. And the plot is definitely compelling.

In a later episode, HBO takes us where most mainstream networks have likely never gone before. We see two of the characters caught in the act of rimming by a guest and a colleague.

The actor at the backside of his sexual partner in the scene, Murray Bartlett, told reporters that the decision for the characters to partake in rimming wasn’t decided upon prior to filming. He told Decider: “There wasn’t a lot of talk [about] outside of the moment of what we were playing with. And I love that way of working, that Mike [White] just makes you feel like you can completely play on set. You’re just exploring, but he gives you this incredible library of information about the character in the script.” 

Good for Mike White and good for HBO. Rimming, when practiced safely and with consent (as with all other sexual positions), can be very stimulating and pleasurable. And since it isn’t something viewers of a TV series often witness, it was as surprising to us as it was to the characters who open the door to a visual they most certainly didn’t anticipate. (It’s important to state that the sexual harassment occurring in the scene is NEVER okay, and it’s in no small part what leads to a very unfortunate ending for Armand).

Since the series was produced under very strict COVID protocol, I’m interested in how the cast and crew approached any and all scenes of intimacy on set as with all other shows created since quarantine began. And the reviews, tweets and other social media posts have been fascinating to note. So please try and avoid these posts if you haven’t seen “The White Lotus”, because it’s absolutely worth your time if you’re up for some social commentary served with lots of the unexpected.

For more information about our practice and how we can help you, contact is for a free phone consult.

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I’m Canceling Virginity

I hate the term “virgin.” And just so we’re all on the same page, the dictionary definition is “someone who has never had sexual intercourse.” As I’ve written before, there’s a lot more to sex than intercourse (like fingering, oral sex, etc.), and it seems ridiculous to me that we’re using this word to mean “hasn’t had sex,” when that word completely ignores so many types of sex. Why is it that the only sex that “counts” is having a penis penetrate a vagina? “Virginity” erases and invalidates queer sex and the experiences of those who are unable to have penetrative sex because of pain.

But the problem isn’t just the way we define virginity–it’s with having a term for “not having sex” at all.  Having this term implies that having sex irreparably changes who you are as a person, and terms like “losing virginity,” implies you are losing something of yourself when you have sex. There is so much societal baggage tied up in this word and concept. We’ve decided as a society that it impacts people’s worth, and as such, can have bearing on their self-image.

Getting rid of the term and idea of virginity can help us expand our definition of sex, and also the way we view ourselves and sexuality. Without the baggage of virginity, we can build healthier lives and have better sex.

P.S. A lot of people in the Sex Ed space are now using the term “sexual debut,” which removes the element of “losing something” and allows for a broader and more inclusive understanding of what sex looks like to different people. Also, it just sounds fun!

For more information and/or guidance on your sexual health, contact us for a free phone consultation

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SIM: “The Bold Type” and Strong Female Friendships

As someone who was raised on toxic female friendships like that of Blair Waldorff and Serena Van Der Woodsen, I think my outlook of what true friendship is would have been drastically different if I saw more relationships like that of Jane, Kat, and Sutton in The Bold Type. 

These three girls, while working jobs that are really not reasonable for 24 year old’s, have each other’s backs through everything. They support each other as they explore their sexualities, choose whether or not they want children, make major career changes, go through health scares, and most importantly when they don’t totally agree with one another.   This friend group still has its issues and the girls obviously fight (a friendship without any fights would be unrealistic) but at the end of the day they take ownership for their mistakes, apologize and mean it, and avoid petty antics like passive aggressive texts and forcing friends to pick sides. 

Not to mention, Jacquline Carlyle is a killer female boss who can be both the CEO of a major global magazine and supportive confidant when things go wrong. Helping her staff through their toughest times and most painful moments while being respectable, powerful, and giving critique when it is due. In my opinion she’s a big step up from Miranda Priestly who held a similar, but VERY DIFFERENT role in The Devil Wears Prada.

Additionally, The Bold Type is one of the first shows to really focus on female pleasure. With vibrators in nearly every episode, sex columns, women having casual sex without judgment, and breast health as a major storyline- this series hits major points that are generally left out of prime time TV. If you somehow haven’t binged this killer show yet, today is the day! 

For more information or resources about your sexual health, contact us for a free phone consultation.

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Hair, Hair Everywhere (or, Maybe Not)

To contemplate body hair – that is the question. The answer depends on several factors:

Do you care about your body hair enough to even entertain the question?

What cultural/societal/familial expectations do you experience, and do you seek to sustain them or choose another path?

How are you most physically comfortable?

Do you like hair on some parts of your body but not on others?

Do you have the resources for upkeep should you choose shaving, waxing, threading, sugaring, lasering, etc.?

There are absolutely no right or wrong solutions. Except when anyone feels pressured or forced into doing – or not doing – something to their bodies – that’s when hair removal can become problematic.

What about medical issues? Well, yes, there’s certainly the risk of cutting oneself with a razor blade or getting burned with wax. And what about protection from infection, particularly when we’re talking about pubic hair? You might be at risk for “folliculitis” (hair follicle infection ) or an ingrown hair which can be uncomfortable. But gynecologists interviewed in this Women’s Health Magazine article agree – removal of pubic hair is okay.

So no matter what you decide, it’s all good. Hair (or lack thereof) can help us to express ourselves, keep us warm, be playful and can be cut, colored, braided, done up, let down. It can be decorated and should be celebrated (no matter texture, style, length, and even absence).

And if nothing else, enjoy an expert reading of the picture book (@ashelnok on Tik Tok) “Brenda’s Beaver Needs a Barber” (B. Tayanita, M. Williams & S. Bangladesh).

For more information, guidance, or questions about your sexual health…contact us for a free phone consult

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Vaginal Odors? What To Make of Them

Vaginal odors are something many women worry about.  Sometimes, women are concerned they aren’t cleaning down there properly, or that something else is wrong – do I have a vaginal infection? A UTI?  Did I eat something that made me stink?  None of these questions are silly, and most of the time the smell from “down there” isn’t as problematic as you may think.  Our vagina is filled with a whole host of good bacteria that make up a healthy microbiome.  Sometimes, one or more of these bacteria dominate and the result may be a change in vaginal perfume.  This is not necessarily problematic.  Occasionally though, the odor could be an indication that something is awry and may need some medical attention.  Here is a list of common vaginal odors, and what they MAY mean:

Fishy: the most likely culprit behind this scent is bacterial vaginosis (BV), the most common vaginal infection in women ages 15 to 44. This is usually due to an overgrowth of bad bacteria, and requires a prescription for antibiotics in order to treat.  Accompanying discharge is usually thin and watery.

Yeasty: This smell is usually due to a fungal overgrowth in the vagina known as a yeast infection. It may also be associated with a cottage cheese like discharge and intense itching.

Musty: We have many sebaceous and sweat glands around our vulvar tissues.  When we exercise and sweat, and that area cannot properly “breathe” the sweat gets trapped. The result is a musty scent, that can easily be washed away after cleaning the area with soap and water.

Rotten: This smell is quite concerning and may be related to a retained tampon. This can be dangerous, especially because the rotten smell is a sign that bacteria are festering.  You may also be at risk for Toxic Shock Syndrome in this scenario.  See your provider as soon as possible if your vagina smells rotten.

Metallic: Blood in the vagina can often give off a whiff of copper or other metallic scent.  You can clean with basic soap and water, but the smell is not concerning (especially if you have your period).

Other: Sometimes, the food we eat can give off a funky smell in both our vaginal secretions and in our urine. Asparagus and garlic are commonly known to have this effect.   While the smell may be unpleasant, it is not a health concern.

Lastly, if there is any smell or discharge coming from your vagina that is concerning – seek care from a professional.  Vaginal douches and washes are often harmful, as they disrupt the good bacteria that are meant to protect us.  Your women’s health provider will be able to check you and get a culture if necessary.  Better to be safe than sorry!

Have other concerns or questions? Or just looking for more resources? Send us an email or call us for a free phone consultation.

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Radical Acceptance

Have you ever faced a long-term issue, say weight loss or something relational, that you simply can’t resolve no matter how hard you’ve tried? Often times, we attempt a variety of potential solutions but every single one of them falls short. And when we just can’t seem to remedy a problem, we experience everything from failure and deflation to inadequacy and shame. 

We can try a variety of perspectives and approaches, but what we really need to do first is accept the problem. That sure as heck doesn’t mean we have to like it! But it does require us to sit with the issue and admit that it exists. Once we do that, we can move forward in the most effective and efficient manner. It’s not a one-way ticket to resolution, but without it, we simply can’t make decisions with accurate data. This is especially important when the problems we face affect us emotionally and interpersonally.

Sexual dysfunction is no exception to the rule. If you’ve been struggling with your sexual health and are ready to accept and seek treatment, please reach out to us at Maze. We can offer guidance to help you get unstuck and feel better!

Contact us for a free phone consultation to learn more about what we do and how we can help you.

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I’m Canceling Virginity

I hate the term “virgin.” And just so we’re all on the same page, the dictionary definition is “someone who has never had sexual intercourse.” As I’ve written before, there’s a lot more to sex than intercourse (like fingering, oral sex, etc.), and it seems ridiculous to me that we’re using this word to mean “hasn’t had sex,” when that word completely ignores so many types of sex. Why is it that the only sex that “counts” is having a penis penetrate a vagina? “Virginity” erases and invalidates queer sex and the experiences of those who are unable to have penetrative sex because of pain.

But the problem isn’t just the way we define virginity–it’s with having a term for “not having sex” at all.  Having this term implies that having sex irreparably changes who you are as a person, and terms like “losing virginity,” implies you are losing something of yourself when you have sex. There is so much societal baggage tied up in this word and concept. We’ve decided as a society that it impacts people’s worth, and as such, can have bearing on their self-image.

Getting rid of the term and idea of virginity can help us expand our definition of sex, and also the way we view ourselves and sexuality. Without the baggage of virginity, we can build healthier lives and have better sex.

P.S. A lot of people in the Sex Ed space are now using the term “sexual debut,” which removes the element of “losing something” and allows for a broader and more inclusive understanding of what sex looks like to different people. Also, it just sounds fun!

For more information and/or guidance on your sexual health, contact us for a free phone consultation

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Sex in the Media: Ignore or Explore – “Sex/Life”

Okay, Everyone – I’m two eps in to this new Netflix offering and I can’t figure out which side I’m on. The good things about it are really, really, really good, but I’m also thrown by a few undeniably frustrating details.

Let’s begin by accentuating the positive, shall we? Kudos to the Netflix content staff. Sure they know that sex sells. But the premise of the show, right down to the slash in the title, is actually worthy of a plot line that deserves some attention. Our heroine, Billie, is a PhD candidate and mother of two who seemingly lives the perfect life in a perfect house with the perfect husband. The issue? She misses who she used to be – a woman who prioritized, celebrated and owned her sexuality. She begins to recall in vivid detail a former lover and the red hot sex they used to have. During an exhausting overnight feeding in the nursery, she considers Perfect Husband’s lack of interest in her as a sexual partner, and journals her feelings in her laptop. She leaves said laptop on the football field-sized granite island in the kitchen before returning to bed, and well, you might guess what happens next.

The show explores some very important themes we rarely see in a somewhat serious manner – a woman truly expressing herself sexually for her own pleasure, identity shifts in new parents, besties that make big mistakes, etc. And let’s hear it for the cast – the leads are terrific. The writers deserve some credit for some decent lines, like Billie’s description of her current self: “I’m like a watered-down version of me”. Oh, and the sex is very explicit and well-shot and yeah definitely NSFK/NSFW (though if you work remotely and the kids are at camp/school, lucky you).

But now for the meh news: the bodies of Billie and Perfect Husband are supermodel-chiseled. Can we please show a postpartum body for REAL, Hollywood (and maybe a Dad Bod, too)? Additionally, I’m not sure I could ignore some of the inferior subplots, which made it difficult for me to really buy in.  

Perhaps the thing I’m most conflicted about is that pesky title slash. Does it refer to a Madonna-Whore Complex type of thing (ie a woman can’t be both sexual and motherly)? Does it mean that super off-the-charts sex can’t happen in a marriage on the reg? Perhaps the answer is revealed as the season progresses.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t intrigued, so I’m going to keep watching. Have you seen Sex/Life? Let us know what YOU think!

For any questions about your sexual health and how we can help you, contact us for a free phone consultation.

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You Can Make The First Move

The saying that “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” obviously means you can’t finish something unless you start it! Holding on to the familiar, even though it’s not necessarily good for us, is a behavior pattern many of us manifest. Getting started toward change is hard. Fear of the unknown and a fear of losing a part of ourselves, even if that part doesn’t really work so well for us, are common worries when seeking help.

At Maze, we offer a complimentary 10-minute phone consultation. We understand that working on your sex life can be a big step to take and speaking with one of our therapists or clinicians (medical health care providers) can help you get started. It’s stressful to seek help and discuss your struggles; women who do call us are amazed that a place like Maze actually exists. We work with women who have low desire, low arousal, difficulty with orgasm and pain. When you contact us you will have a chance to discuss your individual situation and see if we’re a good fit. We can’t diagnose certain pain matters over the phone ,however, we can let you know with a large measure of certainty if we think we can help. Can we provide what you need? Just talking with one of us can help you clarify your issues and concerns regarding the treatment process.

In the consultation we tell you how we work so there are no surprises. It’s an exchange of information and outside of putting in a few minutes of time what have you got to lose? We also have an extensive website, mazewomenshealth.com and you can look up Our Team and also find many helpful resources. We are rooting for you. Yes, there’s work ahead but as MLK said: “You don’t have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step.”

For more information or questions about your sexual health, contact us for a free phone consult.

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Can Birth Control Cause Low Libido?

Did you know that your birth control pills could be the cause of your low libido?

Ironic as it may seem, the little pills you started because you were having sex, are now what could be the reason you don’t want to anymore. Birth control pills suppress hormones in your body to prevent you from ovulating, thus preventing pregnancy. But, they also suppress your natural production of androgens, specifically testosterone. They also increase production of SHBG (sex hormone binding globulin), a protein which will bind to testosterone and make it unavailable for your body to use. Testosterone is the hormone most closely linked to driving a woman’s libido. The birth control pills destroy your testosterone levels. (This is also why birth control pills will help clear your skin).

Women are starting birth control pills at younger ages. It is not uncommon for women to be on birth control pills for 10-15 years. It is perfectly safe for women to stay on birth control pills for many years, but it is unclear what kind of damage this long term use can do to a women’s libido. Some research has shown that even after discontinuing use of birth control pills, women still have not regained their libido.

Women are told many side effects of birth control pills, but loss of libido is rarely, if ever mentioned. If you’re experiencing low sex drive, take our Desire Quiz to evaluate your symptoms and learn about treatment options.

For any questions or concerns about your sexual health, contact us for a free phone consult. We are happy to help.

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Bachelorette Uncovered: Kate Thurston

If you watched  Episode 3 of this season’s “The Bachelorette” on ABC, (SPOILER ALERT if you didn’t), then you saw a lot of what appear to be true confessions. The sharing sesh took place not during a one-on-one, nor did it happen via “private” camera commentary. This time, our courageous, no-bullshit warrior, Katie Thurston, cultivated a group date that for once didn’t display the stereotypical cis-gender male machismo we’ve come to expect. Instead, the contestants were led into an empty room save for a circle of chairs in the middle. Katie explained that she’d called the men together in this fashion to air any past transgressions they might want to confess before moving on with the rest of the Bachie operation. Trust had been broken, lies had been told, and our dear Katie was. Not. Having it.

At the end of it all, Katie decided to share an intensely personal experience with the group. This was a deeply emotional moment, and her vulnerability was pure strength and courage. Of course she didn’t have to share anything, let alone something so, so, so private. But it was yet another opportunity for viewers to resonate with her.

Katie is one of the most popular contestants in the history of the franchise; she defended other women on last season’s “Bachelor” (how often, if ever, do we see THAT on TV?); she is smart, articulate, confident, hilarious and kind. But it’s her integrity, her willingness to call out those who don’t behave well, her self-advocacy – all such admirable qualities. Is she perfect? No such thing. Has she made mistakes? Who amongst us hasn’t? But has she learned from them and invited them to empower her? Absolutely.

And speaking of that sex-positive philosophy of hers…(here’s my segue, Folks): we should all be considering what it is that makes us feel strong and brave when it comes to our sexuality. What do you need to share? Is it your favorite vibrator on a first date (ie Katie-style), or is it that you’ve never used one before? Do you need to spend more time with yourself so you can define what you find pleasurable and what you don’t? Or are you ready to shake things up with someone else?

If you need some guidance, give Maze a call for a free phone consult. We can help you determine your sex-positive identity, no matter where it may fall on the spectrum.

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