every morning, and often throughout the night, youâll stretch a foot over to satoruâs side of the bed and make contact with him.
what comes across as a simple desire for physical touch, is actually a habit of yoursâone born from both fear and experience. itâd be far from the first time you woke up and he wasnât there, but things are different now, and you need him to be there.
but this morning, all you feel is cold sheets.
you sit up and rub at your eyes before looking out the windowâfinding your usual view blurred with rain. you shiver a little at the sight, or maybeâat the foreign emptiness of the room.
and thatâs when you realize that, not only is satoru missing from your bedâthe small white crib off to your right is also missing your daughter.
you think the worst on instinct. irrational, youâre well awareâthereâs no reason for such thoughts anymore, but they still manage to penetrate your freshly conscious mind nonetheless.
that is, until a pair of giggles sneak past the little crack in your bedroom door, acting as the perfect antidote to your conclusion jumping.
now, you find yourself getting out of bed just a bit too eagerly for a gloomy sunday morningâsliding into your slippers before shuffling towards the door and down the hallway. you wrap your arms around yourself as you walk, both hoping for and needing a little extra love from at least one, but preferably both of your babies.
satoruâs voice becomes clearer as you near, and youâre just around the corner when you hear him ask your daughter, who canât talk yet, a question.
âyeah? you like the rain?â
an odd thing to ask a seven month old, though it makes a little more sense when you actually see them.
the two are in the kitchen, and your daughterâstrapped into her high chair, is staring out the large window with her big blue eyes, completely mesmerized. satoru sits hunched over in a dining room chair, watching her with the exact same expression while he holds a plastic green spoon up to her mouth, like heâs interviewing her.
âsatoru?â in unison, the duo turn their heads at the sound of your voice. âwhat are you doing?â
âkilling time,â he smiles at you before turning to your baby, who now has her chubby little hands wrapped around a couple of his fingers. âwe were starting to think youâd never come to. isnât that right sweetheart?â
she babbles excitedly in response, seemingly agreeing.
the transition from bassinet to crib hasnât been an easy one, and last night was probably one of her worst so far. youâll always rock her, and while she falls asleep easy enoughâthe second sheâs put down, sheâll wake up and cry.
âsorry,â you sigh, padding over to the two. âshe was up most of the night, iââ
âneeded the rest,â he finishes for youâwiggling his fingers around and earning himself a few more precious baby giggles. âwe know.â
you give him a smile, and he returns it in a much more devious fashionâas if heâs saying you owe me for this. on any other day, youâd roll your eyes at something like that, but itâs almost nine am, and you crawled out of bed just moments agoâthere isnât much you wouldnât do for him at this point.
satoru wraps an arm around one of your thighs as you stand next to him, and he pockets your grinâknowing it holds all the gratitude in the world, and a little something more.
though, you just end up batting him away when you notice the empty bowl sitting on the tray of your daughterâs high chair.
âshe ate all her breakfast?â you ask, peering over to see if he hid any of her yogurt in the pouch of her silicone bib. âwhy donât you ever do that for me?â
you lean down to boop a finger on her nose, and she kicks her feet in excitementâletting out something between a squeal and a laugh.
ââcause you like me better, right?â satoru chimes in, holding his makeshift microphone in front of her with a toothy grinâwhich gets her to babble, for some reason. âoh? whatâs that? iâm the best? your favourite?â
you bring a hand up to flick the back of his headâeven though sometimes you think heâs right with the way sheâs always smiling at him, but you just chalk it up to his high contrast, baby friendly look instead.
âthink you misheard,â you point out, âsounded like ew dad, you stink to me.â
your husbandâdramatic, and a sucker for your baby girl, flops down onto her little plastic tray in defeat.
âsay itâs not true,â he whines, sneakily tickling one of her feet to get her to laugh but, consequently causing her to smack her hands on his head. âhey, hey!â
âthatâs my girl,â you snort, and she babbles some moreâloving the attention sheâs getting from the two of you.
âhmm?â satoru leans in closer to her, as if sheâs about to tell him a secret, and then he shields his mouth with his hand to respond. âyeah i know, i think that smellâs coming from over there too.â
the two smile at each other, and while it might be at your expense, you find yourself smiling too.
because you can see it nowâsatoru picking your daughter up from her first day of kindergarten, begging for the scoop on all her new classmates. heâd listen attentively, and pry just a little further every time she mentions a more masculine nameâselfishly wanting to ensure that heâs still her favourite boy.
itâs just a thought of course, but youâll definitely be holding him a little closer tonight.
âlook, sheâs doing it!â satoru pulls you back to the present moment, nudging your leg with his elbow. heâs given your baby her little silicone cupâthe one sheâs learning to drink from. she has it tilted back, spilling milk half into her mouth, and half into her bib. âkind of.â
once sheâs quenched her thirst, she haphazardly tosses the cup onto her tray, and you note the white residue that sits on her top lip.
âwell, satoru?â you grin at him, grabbing the long forgotten plastic green spoonâmicrophone, and holding it up to your husbandâs mouth.
he furrows his brows and opens his mouth to speak, but you cut him off.
âhow does it feel knowing your daughter has more of a stache right now than you ever will?â
he grins, at you and then her. âthatâs my girl.â
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