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they should invent a cogwheel whose spokes fit perfectly between the nooks of my spine so that u can roll it down my back and perfectly rip my spine out of my body with the ease similar to opening a sardine can lid
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i say "godspeed, soldier" way too much for someone who puts their faith in neither god nor the military
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Rolling up to the knight's guild in a chainmail brayette and low-cut mail chausses watching my fellow knights visibly fluster under their helmets as their gaze follows up to my maille voider scandalously worn without a breastplate
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idk if im actually bi or nit but i have an 8 am class tomorrow cant worry about that
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Twitter LGBTs are so sanitized it’s embarrassing
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petition to bring back saying "huzzah!" when something goes your way and "alas." when it doesn't
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people are like "no one wants to work anymore" when every job application is like upload your resume and cover letter. okay now manually type out your resume and cover letter in our text boxes. okay now answer these 10 riddles. okay now take a rorschach test. okay now upload a photo of your childhood bedroom and explain the relationship between its layout and the adult you are today. okay now show us your youtube watch history. okay now define the color "red." okay now walk into a patch of poison ivy and take a selfie of you holding up a paper saying "i <3 ivy." okay now wave your hands in the air if you just don't care. that one was a trick to cull the applicants who don't care. okay now choose a loved one to sacrifice. great! thank you for submitting your application we will not be calling you
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do you think anyone did her hair?
do you think she had a mother that lovingly brushed her hair in the morning and made it into pretty double french braids?
do you think someone made her breakfast before school and gave her a lunch bag to-go? do you think someone washed her pretty sweater for her?
does anyone miss her? did they look for her with everything they got?
did anyone do your hair lucy? do they miss you? again i ask, did anyone love you lucy frostblade?
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trains are superior because they go through beautiful places and sometimes you get to see the mysteries
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Top-Tier Villain Motivations
They will be safe. It doesn't matter who else or what else burns as long as They will be safe.
I will be safe. The hunger and the cold will never touch me again.
Fuck any bitch who's prettier(/cooler/better-liked/better at making dumplings) than me.
Yes, Master
Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. LOVE ME!
I know the terrible things these so-called "heroes" will do if I don't stop them (<- is absolutely wrong)
I don't want a better future, I want a better past!
No other way to get performance art funded these days
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If you fall for a social media prank, do you reblog/pass it on to your followers?
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i see posts here about how people are so mortified when they are acknowledged as being a regular customer somewhere that they never return. cowards. the employees at taco bell treat me like a celebrity. like royalty. i am their strange little pet customer who gets traded along as staff comes and goes. they know my car before i even speak in the drive-thru speaker. today i was 2 hours late and she ran over and squealed that she "thought i'd left them!" and that she "made my order with extra love!" and you what, she did
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"there are only two sexes, it's literally third grade biology!" and pronouns are taught in kindergarten and you dont seem to understand those either
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writing fanfiction is just. i’m being so creative and original. i’m plagiarizing everyone by accident. i’m a genius. i’m cringe. i’m too angsty. i’m too cheesy. this is not in character. it doesn’t matter that it’s not in character because these are my characters now. i love my hobby. this is the worst possible use of my time. i’m seeking validation. i’m projecting my own personal problems onto this story and i’m barely hiding it. i know so many words and i’m using all of them wrong. im on tumblr posting about it instead of writing it.
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10D Chess
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