peggy: wow, you’re so brave! you didn’t even hesitate to throw yourself into danger!

steve: that's because i have no regard for my own personal safety. you can ask bucky

bucky: i have never been more stressed in my life

peter: i made a marshmallow mr stark. see? his arms are crossed because he's mad at marshmallow peter for annoying him. you like it?

tony, choked-up: it’s fine

tony: i wanna sleep for 50 hours

rhodey: you know that’s called a coma, right?

tony:

tony: that sounds so refreshing, i could go for a light coma right now

morgan: *finds a stray cat*

morgan: can we keep it?

pepper: your dad is allergic

morgan:

morgan: dad can stay outside

morgan: dad, will you read me a bedtime story?

tony: no

morgan: pretty please?

tony: the physical expression of the word "please" doesn’t change my answer

tony: why do people believe i’m incapable of doing anything nice ever?

rhodey: experience

tony: i’m sorry for all the stuff i said

steve: and for punching me in the face?

tony: no, you definitely deserved that

peter: i’m going to get some soup

tony: be careful not to burn yourself, it’s hot

peter: i’m not going to burn myself, i’m not a child

*five seconds later*

peter: i burned myself

mobius: loki and i got married!

b-15: don't share your personal problems with everyone

thor: you tricked me!

loki: i deceived you. ‘trick’ makes it sound like we have a friendly relationship

peter: can i bother you for a second?

tony: you're always bothering me, but go ahead

sam: *reaches for the fries on bucky’s plate*

bucky: *slams grocery store divider between his plate and sam’s hand*

sam:

sam: you said you didn’t take that from the store

bucky: and you said you didn’t want any fries, yet here we are

pepper: are you worried?

tony: yes

tony: wait, about what?

bucky: *walks in covered in blood*

steve: great costume, buck! happy halloween!

bucky:

bucky: oh, right, it’s halloween. that’s convenient

peter: what’s your biggest fear?

mj: being forgotten

peter: damn, that’s deep

peter: mine’s the kool aid man but i feel kinda stupid about that now

rhodey: tony, up and at'em, time to go

tony, groaning: i don’t wanna go back to school

rhodey:

rhodey: tony, you’re like fifty

loki: shapeshifting is the best super power because you can have any haircut anytime you want, you can turn into a hotter version of yourself, you can turn into a dragon, you can turn into a robot, you can turn into a shambling mound of abstract shapes and sulk outside your estranged father's house while chanting ominously about his sins

mobius:

mobius: are you… okay?