There’s something in the heart of me. I cannot see it but know it’s there, I can feel it. I can feel it’s cold, vice like grip, I can feel the hold it has over me, I can feel it forcing its way into my every day. It is a black hole, a darkness that is ripping me apart from the inside, tearing out everything that is good and leaving nothing behind. My doubts feed it, my fears fuel it, I am becoming an empty shell, a hollow copy of who I once was. Memories of a better past are fading day by day and all that I know is what I have become. I am a void, a space, a shadow. It is part of me and so there is no cure, no remedy for this darkness. It is an inescapable, tyrannical shadow that I will never be rid of. Yet, they say it doesn’t have to be this way, they say I can overcome, that it can be subdued, but I do not have the strength. How can I muster the power to fight from the emptiness that chokes me? How can I be anything when I am nothing? Life has shaped me, molded me and infected me, how can I escape what I have been made into? I know that the past is behind me. That it is gone and it cannot be changed, but I also know the future is ahead. That the unknown lies around the corner and anything could happen but all I see is darkness and despair, and I am afraid.

Me and my depression (via tickledpenguin)