intjgirls
INTJ Girls
Rants, guides and tips as to how to survive as an INTJ in an extroverted world.
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Part 1 : A guide to becoming a better listener (for INTJs or any other thinking personality)
If people often come to you for advice and you kinda don’t know how to respond to them without being offensive, then this post is for you.
From a young age, I’ve always been a listener in my social circle. I’m like my friend’s free personal life coach. Unwittingly being a listener for years has taught me a lot of things and today I’d like to pin point some important things that I think every thinker out there should know. Hopefully it would be a great help if you’re struggling in this area.
Point 1 : Advice can be harmful, so ask questions before giving any
INTJ is here and I’d like to get something straight. Although INTJs are known to be ‘the-know-it-all’ personality, it doesn’t mean I literally know everything. (Gee, I’m not a psychic.) And what does that mean? It stresses the fact that any advice that I’m about to give will be pointless or even harmful if I don’t put the effort to understand the root of the problem itself.
For example, someone told you they were having headaches. You asked them to take painkillers. It turned out that this person actually had a terminal brain cancer. Would taking painkillers help? No. But why did you say so? Because you didn’t fully understand this person’s situation before giving out advice.
See?
Something that you think will help, can actually worsen the situation.
I know you’re smart, I know you’re highly capable of doing so many wonderful things, but it doesn’t change the fact that you know nothing about someone’s history and be able to understand how they feel. So instead of judging them, try asking questions to clarify their point.
Also, refrain yourself from giving advice, especially if you don’t fully understand someone’s circumstances yet. Use your ability to see things from different angles to deal with this. Talk less, but listen and ask more.
Don’t hesitate to ask if you’re unsure about what they’re talking about. These phrases might help.
“I don’t think I fully get your point. Can you rephrase that?”
“Can you talk more slowly? I’m having a hard time keeping up.”
“What do you mean by ___?”
If you want to know more details about a particular thing, try asking these.
“When did it all start happening?”
“How did it become like that?”
“Can you tell me more about __?”
“What triggered this particular feeling/issue/thought/etc, do you think?”
Those phrases are the ones that I personally like to use. Feel free to copy them or create your own.
Point 2: There is no right or wrong, just different values and point of view
It’s normal to have different opinions on stuff. It’s also understanable to think that someone’s an idiot for doing certain things. However, telling them that they’re wrong won’t solve this. In most cases, it will make the argument heated instead. At times like this, it’s important to remember:
You both might have different perspective but it doesn’t make either of you are right or wrong.
I’d like to think that there’s no right or wrong, it all depends on one’s point of view. Back to the first point, the one who will fully understand someone’s condition is them, themselves, not us. What you think is right, might be wrong from them. What you think is the best, might not be the best for them, etc. Most importantly, you are not there to judge them and tell them whether something is acceptable or not.
So, instead of forcing your ideology or beliefs on them, try to be curious about what makes them come to a certain conclusion or notion. Try asking these following questions.
“That’s such interesting idea. Where did you get that from?”
“Okay, so you think that ____. What makes you think that?”
“Hmmm, sounds intriguing. Do you mind explaining more about that?”
I personally like to compliment their ideas first. This way, they will put their guard down and become more willing to be open to me. Why? Because I just claimed that what they said was terrific. It makes them want to talk about it more. And the question I ask in the end, will make them think that I put interest in what they are going to explain.
In a nutshell, be aware of the fact that sometimes it’s not about pointing out who is right and who is wrong. When it comes to active listening, it’s all about appreciating diversity and be willing to listen to someone who has completely different values from you. Not because you don’t have your own convictions, but it just indicates that you’re willing to learn something new, even when it’s something that you’re personally against. That’s what I call open mindedness.
So, if you think that you’re ‘more right’ just because you think you know more and feel the need to drag people to see things the same way as you do, at least that’s not what I call being open-minded, that means you’re being a dick.
Part 2? :)
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I'm capable of feeling things, it's just that I'm not great at expressing them.
intjgirls
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INTJ trying to flirt
“Hm, you're interesting. Now I'm asking you to reproduce.”
#intj#introvert#intj personality#mbti#intj problems#intj female#intj girl#intj thoughts#introversion#personality#intj confession#introvert problems#intj type#mbti confessions#mbti personality types#lol#intp#mbti type#intj feelings
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I'm so glad I found this blog. I moved away from home, have less friends here than over there, and absolutely no one to really relate to.
So glad you found me too :) feel free to leave me a message if you need anything. Good luck!
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I don't care if you're a janitor or the department's president, once you're wrong, you're wrong.
intjgirls
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I'm not a stalker. I'm just an unpaid private investigator.
intjgirls
#intj#introvert#Introversion#introvert problems#intp#introverted intuition#mbti#mbti personality types#mbti confessions#intj confession
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There’s nothing in between
I either love you to death or secretly work on a plan to make you disappear from earth. There’s nothing in between. It all depends on the way you treat me as another human being. You reap what you sow. And when it comes to dealing with me, choose wisely.
#INTJ#introvert#Introversion#introvert problems#intp#intj personality#intj problems#intj confession#intj female#mbti#mbti personality types#mbti confessions#istj#ISTP
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Conversation
Sugar... yes, please....
ENFP: *is making some tea for INTJ*
ENFP: Sugar?
INTJ: Yes, please.
ENFP: WON'T YOU COME AND PUT IT DOWN ON ME~~
INTJ: I know I shouldn't have said that.
#intj#intjgirl#Introversion#introvert problems#enfp#mbti#mbti types#mbti personality types#mbti type#mbti confessions#intp#extrovert#personality#intj personality#intj problems
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I don't know if this has been answered before, but what are your thoughts on two INTJs being in a relationship? I mean the time span expectation, pros-cons, how to make it better, etc. Thanks 💗
I believe that relationship between INTJ and INTJ can be very enjoyable since both of them can ‘read each other’s mind’ just because they have the same thinking process. It’s easier to be connected in such a deep level because both of them usually feel like an outsider in the society and it can be exciting to find someone who actually gets them inside out.
The struggles that they might need to overcome is probably their insensitive and stubborn side. Both of them are thinkers and well-known with their ‘cluelessness’ in romance. INTJ is usually a stubborn human being which leads them into thinking that they ‘know-it-all’ when in some point they just don’t. They might reach a point where they refuse to tolerate each other’s different opinion just because they think they’re the right ones. I strongly believe that communication and understanding are the key to make everything work out well between them. Both of them need to learn to respect each other’s thoughts better and try to avoid pointless debates that can only lead them into endless fights.
That’s my personal advice, and that’s all I can say :) hope it could be helpful. Good luck!
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Who the fuck needs a hero when you can be one for yourself?
@intjgirls
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I'm gonna be a badass bitch who gets shit done by my own self.
@intjgirls
#INTJ#introvert#intj personality#intj confession#intj problems#intj female#intj thoughts#mbti#mbti confessions
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INTJ Confession #6
Any suggestions for her?
Are we all perfectionists? Does every other INTJ female approach everything from this analytical perfectionist standpoint?
I do this so much with relationships, be it romantic, sexual, or friendly. I am 22 soon to be 23 and I am on my third boyfriend. The first two were very brief (3 months and 1 month, respectively), and all three separated by years. Years of digesting the emotional aspect of the relationships, the intellectual aspect, the physical aspect, what was lacking and what worked, and what I could take away from all that. Like I can’t just go through it, I need to learn something from all that stressing and analyzing. And in each way, each person, each way of meeting, has been so vastly different from one another, as if I’m gearing up to learn something new. So that if it doesn’t work out, then the next relationship will be more functional based on what I’ve learned.
In the interim, I took on the task of learning, improving, and perfecting a lover role. I really do appreciate excelling in all things. And again, everything occurred with long periods in between of analyzing, reading, recalling, etc. It’s only that way if I’m not romantically engaged with the person. If it becomes romantic post hookups, I tend to shut it down. If it was romantic prior, then sex feels less like a learning experience and more like just fun.
And with friendships, I’m not the type to keep multiple strong relationships. I tend to keep one person over the years or no one at all. Friendships seem the easiest to relinquish because it’s all for the social aspect of my life. It’s the same pattern every time: introduce yourself, compliment the person on a few things that stand out, make some and comments that make yourself seem accessible, hang out sometimes (maybe) and continue to pull the “charm card,” repeat until it dies.
It feels like every encounter is just an endeavor to eventually create a more perfect relationship later on.
Because if you can’t take anything away from it, anything at all, then it really becomes a waste. And that’s not useful to me.
From @tropicalreds
#INTJ#introvert#Introversion#intj personality#intj problems#intj confession#intj female#intj thoughts#intj aesthetic#submission
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what do you think would be the type best suited romantically for an intj female? obviously this would be based off of stereotypes, but i'm curious.
If we talk about this based on MBTI, then it’s obvious that it‘s going to be ENFP and ENTP. ESFP, as well. But based on my experience, we shouldn’t take MBTI seriously when it comes to deal with romantic relation in real life. We can date anyone without knowing what their types are as long as we can maintain the relationship well. So I‘m going to answer the partner criteria for INTJ instead. Here you go. INTJ’s partner is supposed to....
- Love books, considering that INTJs love it too. Besides, reading book can gain your knowledge which makes you will be intellectually smarter. Some of INTJs are sapiosexual,
- Give them time alone considering that INTJs are introvert type
- Love deep conversation because all they talk about is always something ‘serious‘ 24/7. Say no to small talk.
- Listen to every word they say. INTJ may barely talk, but once they did, make sure that you don’t miss it because you probably will regret it sooner or later. Be a good listener as well as INTJs become a listener for you.
- Be ready with their brutal honesty
- Not to be touchy and feely because they would perhaps don’t know what to do to calm you down.
- Etc?
Any other suggestions? Let me know! :)
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INTJ Confession #5
My experience as a female INTJ lately is, the way I see ot, more interesting than ever. I entered a relationship seven months ago and in general I'm surrounded by F types and this is softening me a little, infact last time I got the test, my levels of sensitivity were higher (I was 98% logic and 2% focused on emotions, now I'm 23% focused on them). My confession is that, although I have been mostly satisfied with who I was, I feel more complete as a human lately and I would like to know if other INTJs feel the same.
- @outsiderfrances
#INTJ#intj personality#intj problems#intj confession#intj female#mbti#mbti personality types#mbti confessions#confession#intj thoughts#intj aesthetic
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INTJ Confession #4
I am 15. As a teenager, everyone expects me to hang out a lot, party as an animal and have boyfriends. Turns out that, as an INTJ, my life is not exactly like that. I enjoy reading, writing, having DEEP conversations... But it is hard to find people would rather talk about Philosophy on a roof instead of being surrounded by many friends, drinking alcohol and faking laughs just to pretend they are drunk and rebellious. I have a few close friends and am comfortable with being alone (actually, I love it), but, since we live in a world dominated by extroverts, it feels like I am... wrong. As if I had some kind of problem as if I couldn't be happy living like this. But, after reading a lot about introverts and about my MBTI result, I know that is bullshit.
-nightinkbite
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INTJ Confession #3
I personally don't like how INTJs are told they're mistyped the moment they show a hint of emotions. I think these stereotypes are what pressured all of us into hiding everything, deeper than they already are, just to maintain our identity. It's funny, because if xNFxs reveal how logical they can be, they weren't told as often that they were mistyped like INTJs do, but instead, they are only said to have a developed function. Can't INTJs develop their function and learn to be more empathetic and affectionate around those they're comfortable with?
I think it's a struggle especially for female INTJs to adhere to these stereotypes and generalizations (considering they're meant to act more like a "woman"). I'm not saying INTJs are all the opposite, but rather, I want the possibility that they can be the opposite. Key word: can. Female INTJs can be empathetic, warm, gentle and affectionate. Hopefully once they do, they aren't told by anybody that "they're not acting their role" or worse, "mistyped" by the MBTI community.
-Anon-
#intj#mbti#introvert#intj female#introvert problems#intj type#intj girls#types#mbti types#intj confession
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“... they (INTJs) will often find themselves lecturing people and attempting to drop truth bombs on the individuals around them.”
How accurate.
#intj personality#intj problems#intj female#intj thoughts#intj girl#mbti#mbti personality types#introvert
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