incorrecthoroscopes
Incorrect Zodiac Quotes
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Scorpio: where do I see myself in 5 years? easy. trapped in a haunted oil painting.
#scorpio#zodiac signs#astrology#zodiac side of tumblr#astrology humor#zodiac humor#incorrect quotes#incorrect zodiac quotes#incorrect astrology#incorrect zodiac signs
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Aquarius: my garbage self-esteem + fake god complex both work so hard that idk if I love or hate myself anymore
#aquarius#zodiac signs#astrology#zodiac side of tumblr#astrology humor#zodiac humor#incorrect quotes#incorrect zodiac quotes#incorrect astrology#incorrect zodiac signs
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Sagittarius: I just found out that humans are capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth with ease but can’t take it out without shattering it, and now I have to physically restrain myself from putting a light bulb in my mouth.
#sagittarius#zodiac signs#astrology#zodiac side of tumblr#astrology humor#zodiac humor#incorrect quotes#incorrect zodiac quotes#incorrect astrology#incorrect zodiac signs
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Libra: So where would you guys go if you could time travel?
Aquarius: Far in the future, when we have spaceships and stuff!
Cancer: I don’t know, I’d like to see what life was like a few hundred years ago.
Libra: Aries, what about you?
Aries: I want to punch a t-rex.
#libra#aquarius#cancer#aries#zodiac signs#astrology#zodiac side of tumblr#astrology humor#zodiac humor#incorrect quotes#incorrect zodiac quotes#incorrect astrology#incorrect zodiac signs
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Gemini: I’m going to start a false crime podcast where I explain crimes that never actually happened.
Sagittarius: I’m going to commit all the crimes you explain, forcing you to have a true crime podcast.
#gemini#sagittarius#sister signs#zodiac signs#astrology#zodiac side of tumblr#astrology humor#zodiac humor#incorrect quotes#incorrect zodiac quotes#incorrect astrology#incorrect zodiac signs
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Aquarius: I've caught this stupid disease because of Sag.
Libra: For the last time, emotions are not an illness.
#aquarius#sagittarius#libra#zodiac signs#astrology#zodiac side of tumblr#astrology humor#zodiac humor#incorrect quotes#incorrect zodiac quotes#incorrect astrology#incorrect zodiac signs
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Aquarius: Aries, we tried things your way.
Aries: No, we didn't.
Aquarius: I did it in my head and it didn't work.
#aries#aquarius#zodiac signs#astrology#zodiac side of tumblr#astrology humor#zodiac humor#incorrect quotes#incorrect zodiac quotes#incorrect astrology#incorrect zodiac signs
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Taurus: Libra, remember when you said you *weren’t* going to interfere with my love life?
Libra: No, that doesn’t sound like me at all.
#taurus#libra#zodiac signs#astrology#zodiac side of tumblr#astrology humor#zodiac humor#incorrect quotes#incorrect zodiac quotes#incorrect astrology#incorrect zodiac signs
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Leo: I have died a thousand times. I have looked evil in the face and fought the Devil. I clawed my way back to the light.
Taurus: I did tell you not to go shopping on Black Friday.
#leo#taurus#zodiac signs#astrology#zodiac side of tumblr#astrology humor#zodiac humor#incorrect quotes#incorrect zodiac quotes#incorrect astrology#incorrect zodiac signs
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Libra: I just realized, we don’t even know what dinosaurs sound like! They could have been speaking fluent German for all we know
Taurus: It’s too early for this…
Gemini: Guten morgen, herr pterodactyl!
#libra#taurus#gemini#zodiac signs#astrology#zodiac side of tumblr#astrology humor#zodiac humor#incorrect quotes#incorrect zodiac quotes#incorrect astrology#incorrect zodiac signs
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Capricorn: Why are you late?
Aquarius: A technical error occurred, causing an unexpectedly long bout of unconsciousness.
Capricorn: Overslept?
Aquarius: Overslept.
#capricorn#aquarius#zodiac signs#astrology#zodiac side of tumblr#astrology humor#zodiac humor#incorrect quotes#incorrect zodiac quotes#incorrect astrology#incorrect zodiac signs
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Sagittarius: Ever wonder what's inside a wasps' nest?
Aquarius: No, it’s wasps.
#sagittarius#aquarius#zodiac signs#astrology#zodiac side of tumblr#astrology humor#zodiac humor#incorrect quotes#incorrect zodiac quotes#incorrect astrology#incorrect zodiac signs
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Virgo, on behalf of the mutable signs: Our 2024 agenda is to be as unstable as we can manage.
Capricorn: You mean unstoppable, right?
Gemini, Sagittarius and Pisces, in unison: No.
#virgo#capricorn#gemini#sagittarius#pisces#zodiac signs#astrology#zodiac side of tumblr#astrology humor#zodiac humor#incorrect quotes#incorrect zodiac quotes#incorrect astrology#incorrect zodiac signs#mutable signs
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Scorpio: Get framed for terrorism. You’ll find out who your real friends are, I promise you that.
Cancer: I just feel like there are steps you could probably take before this one—
#scorpio#cancer#zodiac signs#astrology#zodiac side of tumblr#astrology humor#zodiac humor#incorrect quotes#incorrect zodiac quotes#incorrect astrology#incorrect zodiac signs
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Aries: It’s not gonna work, I’m not a snitch.
Capricorn: Fine, let's try something else. Tag a friend you recently committed a crime with.
Aries: Lmao @sagittarius
#aries#capricorn#sagittarius#zodiac signs#astrology#zodiac side of tumblr#astrology humor#zodiac humor#aries meme#capricorn meme#sagittarius meme#incorrect quotes#incorrect zodiac quotes#incorrect astrology#incorrect zodiac signs
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Libra: I am so romantic sometimes, I think I should marry myself.
#libra#zodiac signs#astrology#zodiac side of tumblr#astrology humor#zodiac humor#incorrect quotes#incorrect zodiac quotes#incorrect astrology#incorrect zodiac signs
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Cancer: How is everything?
Pisces: I don't know. I've been trying very hard not to think of it.
#cancer#pisces#zodiac signs#astrology#zodiac side of tumblr#astrology humor#zodiac humor#incorrect quotes#incorrect zodiac quotes#incorrect astrology#incorrect zodiac signs
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