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incorrectbishova · 1 year
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Yelena: I may be small but I am mighty and all-knowing.
Kate: You don’t even know what’s on the top shelf.
Yelena: I know that I will murder you.
Kate: From down there?
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incorrectbishova · 1 year
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The WhatsApp user you are trying to reach is unavailable.
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incorrectbishova · 1 year
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Truly.
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incorrectbishova · 1 year
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Yelena: Please give me words of encouragement so I do not kill my father tonight, Kate Bishop.
Kate: Happily. Prison jumpsuits don’t have pockets.
Yelena: *nods* Thank you.
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incorrectbishova · 1 year
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It’s their love language.
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incorrectbishova · 1 year
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Kate: Mom, I’d like you to meet my girlfriend, Yelena Belova.
Eleanor: *sighs* You could have picked anyone in the world and yet you pick her?
Kate: Wow, mom. I know you can be a bit of a bitch but-
Eleanor: I was talking to Yelena, Dear.
Kate: oh.
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incorrectbishova · 1 year
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Yelena: You know not every problem can be solved with an arrow, Kate Bishop.
Kate: That’s why I carry several.
Yelena: And yet you still only have one fork.
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incorrectbishova · 1 year
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incorrectbishova · 1 year
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Kate: There's no way Yelena likes me, Peter.
Peter: Now Kate, look here. That woman would throw herself in front of a moving car for you.
Kate: Yelena would throw herself in front of a moving car for fun.
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incorrectbishova · 1 year
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*playing twister at the New Asgard Yuletide feast*
Valkyrie: Right hand red!
Kate: *loses balance and ends up on top of Yelena*
Yelena: *growls* You are doing this on purpose, aren't you?
Valkyrie: I stopped spinning 15 minutes ago. I'm surprised you didn't notice. You are the smart one right?
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incorrectbishova · 1 year
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Kate: Hey, Yelena. I got you a little early Christmas present. *sheepishly presents Yelena with a silver arrow necklace*
Yelena: You know I’m not really a gift person, Kate Bishop.
Kate: Oh, well you don’t have to wear-
Yelena, teary eyed: No I’m going to wear it forever back off!
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incorrectbishova · 1 year
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Kate: Clint, old buddy, old pal! We have a little Christmas surprise for you but it’s just throu-
Yelena: *shoots Clint in the neck with a dart*
Clint: Wha-? *groans and falls face-first onto the floor*
Kate: Yelena!? What are you doing?!
Yelena: *shrugs nonchalantly* Don’t worry. It’s only a tranquilliser.
Kate: …
Yelena: Oh. You were thinking blindfold?
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incorrectbishova · 1 year
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Kate: This macaroni is too hot. I can’t eat it.
Yelena: You’re too hot and I still eat you.
Kate: *blushes*
Yelena: *grins*
Peter: One dinner. I just want ONE DINNER with you guys.
Yelena: What? … My daddy says it’s good for you.
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incorrectbishova · 1 year
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Peter: Shit! The bakery messed up the message on Kate’s cake. It’s supposed to say ‘Kate’s Birthday’.
Yelena: And… what does it say?
Peter: ‘Kate’s Bi’.
Yelena: Well… that could work also.
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incorrectbishova · 1 year
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Kate: Christmas gets so much harder as you get older, you know?
Yelena: You’re 23…
Kate: 'What do you want?'… I don't know. My mother’s undying approval? Access to my trust fund?
Yelena: I just want more pockets. Definitely more pockets.
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incorrectbishova · 1 year
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Yelena: You know, you shouldn’t put reindeer antlers on dogs? They don’t like it.
Kate: ‘Naaaur yOu ShOuLdN’t pUT rEiNdEEr aNtlERs oN dOgS tHEy DoN’T lIkE iT’…. Says known murderer.
Yelena: *eyes narrow*
Kate: …
Kate: Clint, Laura! Yelena’s trying to cancel Christmas again!
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incorrectbishova · 1 year
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Peter: Shit! The bakery messed up the message on Kate’s cake. It’s supposed to say ‘Kate’s Birthday’.
Yelena: And… what does it say?
Peter: ‘Kate’s Bi’.
Yelena: Well… that could work also.
312 notes · View notes