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incorrect-queen-70s · 11 months
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incorrect-queen-70s · 11 months
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july 26, 2023: mick jagger slutpocalypse80
hello everyone! my name is mick, but some of you may know me better as @/marrcartney, the organiser of last year's original mick jagger slutpocalypse. i'm here to announce that we're bringing the slutpocalypse back for 2023! and since it's the old fucker's 80th, we're going bigger than before. please read to the end to find out all the details.
for the most part, we will be continuing as normal. at 12pm GMT on wednesday, july 26, 2023 - AKA mick jagger's birthday - we will be posting "mick jagger has been alive for 80 slutty, slutty years".
now i hear you asking: "but mick! what if i forget?". fear not! tumblr's schedule option is here to save the day. all you have to do is set the post for 12pm GMT on the 26th of july and then you can forget about it. make sure to tag the post with "#mick jagger slutpocalypse" so i can find it afterwards.
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if you don't know what 12pm GMT is in your timezone, then click here.
as it is a big birthday for mick, we're going to be taking a step further than we did last year - this is where you may want to set yourself an actual reminder. on the 26th of july, not only will we be posting, but we shall also be changing our PFPs. i've chosen this suitably awkward image:
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i will be posting more in the run-up to slutpocalypse80, but for now, PLEASE share this around so we can get as many people as possible. my main audience is the classic rock community but it would be funny if this reached outside of that.
last year's was really successful and we wanna make it even bigger for his 80th!!! also bc i deleted my old blog and now i have less than 30 followers so this may not reach many people initially idhsajhdjsdjs
btw this is just being done for shits and giggles ok x
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John: what's a thot?
Roger: it's a thoughtful person
*later at the dinner table*
Brian: here's the salt, John
John: thanks Bri, you're such a thot!
Brian: *spits out water*
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Reporter: And you all are?
Roger: Tired
John: Hungry
Brian: Anxious
Freddie: We’re QUEEN, darling!
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If you play..
Bohemian Rhapsody at 23:55:53 you will start your new year right at the metal part
We Are The Champions at 23:58:10 you will start your new year at the last chorus
Another One Bites The Dust at 23:57:13 you will start your new year where he hits that “well im ready, yes im ready for you”
Body Language at 23:59:14 you will start your new year at “dont talk”
Liar at 23:55:42 you will start your new year at the “mama im gonna be your slave” part
Crazy Little Thing Called Love(Live At Wembley Stadium 86) at 23:58:01 you will start your new year by Roger Taylor saying “Ready Freddie?”
Don’t Stop Me Now at 23:57:59 you will start your new year at the “dont stop me, dont stop me”
In The Lap Of The Gods just right at midnight to hear more of my boi Roggies falsetto
Flick Of The Wrist  at 23:59:05 you will start your new year with the first “flick of the wrist”
A Kind Of Magic at 23:59:46 to hear mr johnny D chime in with his bass at midnight
Killer Queen at 23:58:46 to start of 2019 “fastidious and precise“
Fat Bottomed Girls at 23:57:15 you will start of 2019 by getting on your bike and riding
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[At the New Years Party]
Freddie: I would like to offer a toast.
Freddie: I cannot believe we have already gone through another twelve months of absolute fuckery.
Freddie: Cheers boys.
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hey guys just wanted to tell you that for the new year posts are gonna be 3 times a week instead of every day
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today is christmas eve so i want to take a moment to send some love to
all the trans boys and nb people who are going to get ‘girly’ presents
all the trans girls and nb people who are going to get ‘masculine’ presents
all the lesbians who are going to be asked why they don’t have a boyfriend/husband
all the gay boys who are going to be asked why they don’t have a girlfriend/wife
all the closeted kids who are going to have to listen to their families being homophobic, transphobic, and bigoted 
all the lgbt kids who have to spend time with their abusive family members
all the lgbt kids who are spending christmas alone bc they are unwelcome around family
all the trans boys and nb people who are going to have to dress wrong and will be misgendered
all the trans girls and nb people who are going to have to dress wrong and will be misgendered
you still have a community that loves you. i wish you the safest christmas you can have
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Roger: Fred?
Freddie: Yes?
Roger: Why are you putting John under the Christmas tree?
Freddie, placing John to sit in an empty box with a ribbon in his hair: Because he’s a gift to this world, obviously.
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Kidnapper: We have your child
Freddie: I don’t have a child?
Kidnapper: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their cheese sandwich?
Freddie: Oh god, you have John
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Miami: How long do you think it'll take?
Freddie: I don’t know, three or four.
Miami: Three or four what? Days? Weeks? Months?
Freddie: Yeah, maybe five.
Miami: Five what?!
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*John sneezes*
Freddie: John, are you sick? Here, let me wrap you in a blanket and hand-feed you some warm soup while singing you a lullaby!
*Roger sneezes*
Freddie: Oh my god. Shut the hell up.
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Freddie: I was arrested for being too cool.
Brian: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.
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Freddie: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.
Brian: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Freddie: Yes!
Roger: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.
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Roger: We need a distraction.
John: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?
Freddie, whispering: My time has come
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John: I can't tell if you're a genius or just incredibly arrogant.
Freddie: Well, on a good day, I'm both
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Freddie: This bloodline ends with me.
Roger: That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say "I'm gay".
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