Tumpik
incorrect-caps-etc · 5 days ago
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hello again friends
i have been very busy and thus not online very much and also still too sad about Nicke but I will try to add some quotes now that hockey season is back!
also my submission box is open!
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incorrect-caps-etc · a month ago
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Nicklas Backstrom: I’m angry with you.
Alex Ovechkin: I’m angry with you, too.
Nicky: Let’s give each other some space.
Ovi: Good idea.
Ovi: [gets off Nicky’s lap to sit next to him on the couch - they’re still holding hands]
John Carlson: Is this a joke?
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incorrect-caps-etc · 2 months ago
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TJ Oshie: If I run on the field naked during the super bowl, I’m gonna get millions of impressions. But is it gonna help me sell crypto?
Nicklas Backstrom:
John Carlson:
Tom Wilson:
Lars Eller:
Carl Hagelin:
Everyone:
TJ Oshie: I hope so!!
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incorrect-caps-etc · 2 months ago
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Alex Ovechkin: I thought you broke your neck! What would I do without you?!
Nicklas Backstrom: Oh Ovi, you don’t have to worry about me. Besides, you’re gonna die first.
Ovi:
Ovi: What?!
[Later]
Nicky: Here’s your coffee.
Ovi [grumbling]: Maybe I should check it for poison first.
Nicky: Don’t be silly, insurance won’t pay out if they think I’m tricking them.
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incorrect-caps-etc · 2 months ago
Conversation
TJ Oshie: In an effort to avoid supporting megacorporations, I shall now be posing questions directly to the group chat that I would otherwise have googled.
TJ: If mayonnaise is just eggs and oil, why is it creamy?
Dmitry Orlov: Because it’s also evil.
TJ: Thanks! Have scientists figured out what dark matter is yet?
Tom Wilson: Yup! It’s anything that takes up space, has mass, and is goth.
TJ: Wow! What happens if you eat 23 packages of peeps?
Evgeny Kuznetsov: You meet god.
TJ: Thank goodness! What’s the correct way to eat a banana?
Alex Ovechkin: Whole, in one gulp.
TJ: Delicious! Who is the Muffin Man?
John Carlson: Father of the Muffin Boy
TJ: Makes sense! Why is my car making a ker-klunk noise?
Nicklas Backstrom: Car’s haunted
TJ: Uh Oh. How to fix a haunted car?
Garnet Hathaway: Slam into a priest in a crosswalk going at least forty miles an hour
TJ: It worked! Where does the wax in scented candles go?
Carl Hagelin: Into the sky, where it turns into stars
TJ: Cool! Why are weddings so damn expensive?
Nic Dowd: Priest has to pay for medical bills related to haunted car crashing into him.
TJ: . . . Ah
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incorrect-caps-etc · 2 months ago
Conversation
John Carlson: I really like Eminem.
TJ Oshie: I prefer Skittles.
Lars Eller: He's talking about the rapper.
TJ: Why would he eat the wrapper?
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incorrect-caps-etc · 2 months ago
Conversation
Nic Dowd & Garnet Hathaway: [eating an entire pie]
Nic: Hags!
Garnet: Help us!
Nic: We bought a pie on a dare!
Carl Hagelin: Who dared you?
Garnet: The pie guy.
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incorrect-caps-etc · 2 months ago
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sorry i haven't been super active on here recently i’ve been too sad about nicke
i’m still too sad about nicke but i’ll try to add some more quotes soon
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incorrect-caps-etc · 3 months ago
Conversation
Evgeny Kuznetsov: I wanted to tell the truth. But the truth is super complicated!
Dmitry Orlov: Because of all your lies?
Evgeny Kuznetsov: That was a huge factor.
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incorrect-caps-etc · 3 months ago
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John Carlson: Hey, do you know what bees make?
Michal Kempny: Honey?
Carly: Yes, dear?
Kempny: [blushing] You’re embarrassing me, Carly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alex Ovechkin: Do you know what bees make?
Nicklas Backstrom: Some stupid annoying sound.
Ovi:
Nicky: What?
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incorrect-caps-etc · 3 months ago
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Garnet Hathaway: Did you really want to get all dressed up just to look at art and sip wine and cheese?
Carl Hagelin: You can’t sip cheese.
Garnet Hathaway: You’ve obviously never tried Velveeta. That’s a sipping cheese.
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incorrect-caps-etc · 3 months ago
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John Carlson: Andre’s dating someone now.
Nicklas Backstrom: How dating? Is she on his screensaver? Does he say “we” did something this weekend? Do his eyes light up when he sees her? [widens eyes]
Carly: What are you doing?
Nicky: Lighting up my eyes.
Carly: You look scared.
Nicky: Love is scary. Get used to it.
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incorrect-caps-etc · 3 months ago
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Nicklas Backstrom: Do you really think friendships can last more than one lifetime?
TJ Oshie: [holds Nicky’s hand] I don’t see why not.
Alex Ovechkin: [holds Nicky’s other hand]
Evgeny Kuznetsov: Well scientifically speaking, there’s no way to prove that -
Ovi: Kuzya, just hold hands.
Kuzy: [holds Ovi’s hand]
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incorrect-caps-etc · 4 months ago
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John Carlson: You were supposed to do something about the raccoon under the porch.
Martin Fehervary: I did! I named him Lord Moseby. He likes Fruit Loops.
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incorrect-caps-etc · 4 months ago
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TJ Oshie: Don’t fear death. Fear the state in which you are going to die.
Evgeny Kuznetsov, horrified: VIRGINIA?!
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incorrect-caps-etc · 4 months ago
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Tom Wilson: How dare you criticize a national treasure!
Evgeny Kuznetsov: National treasure? You're a regional trinket, at best.
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incorrect-caps-etc · 4 months ago
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Andre Burakovsky: Sometimes I feel like a fish caught in a tank.
Nicklas Backstrom: Only you're not a fish.
Andre: Nicke, please.
Nicky: You're a wonderful, funny, and talented person who—
Marcus Johansson: You're a shrimp.
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