colleges and friend groups - a rant in all caps

I WANNA GO TO THIS GOOD COLLEGE BUT ALL MY FUCKING FRIENDS ARE GOING WHICH MEANS IF I MAKE ANY FRIENDS IF MY OWN MY FRIENDS WILL FUCKING INVADE AND BECOME BETTER FRIENDS WITH THEM THAN I AM MEANING I BECOME MORE DEPRESSED BECAUSE NOW I HAVE TO STAY WITH NY FUCKING SECONDARY SCHOOL FRIENDS OF WHOM ANNOY ME SO FUCKING MUCH LIKE IVE TOLD MY FRIENDS IF WE GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL AND I MAKE NEW FRIENDS IM NOT GONNA DO MY BEST TO NOT LET THEM MEET THEM BECAUSE I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM MY OLD FRIENDS BUT NO. LIKE THEY EXPECT ME TO STAY FRIENDS WITH THEM WHEN RECENTLY I JUST FEEL LIKE PURE SHIT WHENEVER IM WITH THEM LIKE I KNOW THAT ITS PARTIALLY BECAUSE MY MENTAL HEALTH IS SO FUCKED THAT IM JUST IN A REALLY BAD MIND SET AND LIKE I PROBABLY DONT DESERVE MY FRIENDS BUT LIKE IVE OUTGROWN THEM I NEED NEW FRIENDS SO BAD FUCK MY LIFE

GOD EVERYONE FUCKING PISSES ME OFF I HATE EVERYONE

All my friends are fucking annoying and are just so ughhhhhhh I wanna fucking get away from everyone and start again like I need new fucking friends so bad but no I’m a cunt and can’t make friends because people are fucking idiots and I hate them

when people start making plans that don’t involve you right infront of you and they don’t even think to invite you so you’re just stood there like...thanks

huhhhhhhh that’s my aesthetic. I love when people do that. can’t you just make these plans when I’m not here like hooohoooooo

I love tom holland sosososo much. like he just seems like a genuinely nice person to be friends with (and he’s so hot jheezzzzzz)

I feel like since I told my friends that I’m ace they’ve acted differently towards me about stuff. like everyone i know is somewhat sexually active (that sounds weird but you get what I mean) and if my friends are talking about like they won’t tell me as much as they would to someone else. it’s like I’m a small child or that i know nothing about sex. i’m 16 I know shit. just because i’m ace doesn’t mean I don’t wanna hear the gossip and stuff. and I’ve also had jokes like “cover your ears”like I’m not a child please don’t. i feel like an outsider enough as it is without you doing that