Well this is how ' family dinner 💜😄😄😄😄' went. 😒

Jaedon Jo confessions.

Today I put on a strapless bra which not long ago was so tight on me.. And I put it on today and it slipped right off of my boobs down to my hips.. I have no boobs for a bra anymore. I have no boobs. No butt. No curves. But somehow I hate myself for being so fat. Thanks ED. I appreciate it.

10714) The food is right in front of me, but I can't take a bite. I'm too scared of what might happen if I do. I'm scared of binging. I'm scared of failure.

I wish I saw what my friends saw.. When they comment on my little stomach.. My thigh gap.. My arm bones, my hip bones.... It all just makes me sick.. Because I feel like they are lying to me. Because I cannot see what they do.

The fact that my friend. Who let me say, weighed about 30 pounds less than me last year.... Is now 12 pounds heavier than I am... Makes me so happy. She used to be deathly thin. And now she's normal sized and I am smaller. Wow.

10734) I hate it that other peoples' eyes see differently than mine. I hate it when they yell at me for not seeing what they see.

I literally don't understand myself anymore.. Like.. I will go days with not eating hardly anything. Or days where I exercise the shit out of myself. Take laxatives and bloating pills to lose water weight. take diet pills.. Puke up everything i eat. And then the next day I will eat everything in sight and fuck it all up. And then I repeat this pattern.. Like it never ends. It's exhausting too.

Your gorgeous!

That means alot to me.. Thanks alot..

The fact that I've started purging scares me. Because now I can't stop. 😔😷🚽🚽

You are so pretty 👌

Oh wow thank you

9432) I tell myself that I'll stop when I get to my goal weight, but in the back of my mind I know I won't be able to control it.

9433) I only ever think about weight loss and calories and restriction and if I eat that and if I don't eat. Something is wrong with my brain.

9454) My dad calls me a pig when I eat, dumb when I don't, and still expects me to love myself.