ilikefoodmorethanhumans
I like food a lot
Honestly, you can try to figure out exactly what this blog is about, but I couldn't tell you because I don't even know.
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Character A: *holding back literal years worth of unshed trauma tears* whatever i don’t need you to care about me. love is for suckers and i’m Tough and Mean and An Actual Monster and i don’t even care if you never talk to me again, in fact you probably shouldn’t, it’s For Your Own Good
Character B: *rolling by in heelies with leopard print sunglasses and a backward baseball cap that says Stubborn Bitch Disease in rhinestones* fuck yooouuuu!! i am gonna love you sooo hard. now get over here for your three o’clock cuddle and Words Of Affirmation or so help me i will tackle you to the ground
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- dan harmon, in the basic sandwich dvd commentary
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ya’ll know THAT scene in basic sandwich (5x13) in the lab and jeff looks at annie, then the door opens….well i’ve watched that scene more than 50 times and something just never sat right with me. because when it originally aired, many people believed that jeff opened the door by thinking about all of them and it was a coincidence that annie happened to be last. but i always thought that jeff only thought about annie to open the door, but i never knew why, and today i FINALLY discovered why. (and i may be late to the party but i finally found peace lmao) i’ll put it under the cut so ya’ll don’t have to scroll if you don’t want to.
Keep reading
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“i think you two like to partner up on cutesy capers so you can hold hands in the dark and address your urges in semi-acceptable scenarios.”
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I figured out how to make text post memes so now it’s really over for you hoes
Bonus:
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other characters taking notice of jeff and annie
requested by anon
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going to community college is just *takes spanish class* *fakes study group* *eats chicken fingers* *participates in paintball war* *loses pen* *makes blanket fort* *plays dungeons and dragons* *investigates yam murder* *plays hot lava* *becomes family with a group of strangers* *plays paintball again*
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whoever isn’t renewing sonic boom right this very second is a coward and a fool
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You Better Let Somebody Love You (Before It’s Too Late) - ambivalentangst
Tony finds Spider-Man on the roof of his favorite coffee shop.
A few days after Siberia, it hurts to move—to reply to Spider-Man, even, when he tries to talk—but Tony, while irritated, assumes it’s a one-off incident.
It’s not.
Tony keeps leaving the too-quiet Tower for his caffeine fix, Spider-Man keeps popping up against the shop’s heater vent, and as weeks turn into months, Tony finds himself with a new friend. And if Spider-Man is a little dodgy here and there, well, Tony figures everyone’s entitled to their secrets.
//
Or, Tony doesn’t recruit Spider-Man for the Avengers’ Civil War. Maybe if he had, he would’ve caught that something was up with the guy before things went to shit.
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Peter: Don’t make me kill you...
Tony: Peter my alligence is to Shield, to democracy!
Peter: If you are not with me.. then you are my enemy.
Tony: Only Hydra deals in absolutes. I will do what I must...
Peter: You will try.
Peter: *swings out the window with every box of Girl Scout cookies*
Tony: HOW COULD YOU, YOU WERE LIKE A SON TO ME
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peter: can we stop by the mall? i need to buy a dress.
tony: okay, first of all, i’m so glad you felt comfortable enough to come to me with that, and you know what? if this something you want to explore-
peter: oh, its not for me. it’s for MJ, but you handled that very well.
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Tony: fuck you, my child is completely fine
Harley who hasn’t slept in the past 3 days working on pranking Tony by messing up his suit so everytime he fires using his repulsor F.R.I.D.A.Y says ‘yeet’: yeah
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Tony: Do we have shaving cream?
Peter: No, I don't like the way it tastes.
Tony: You eat shaving cream?
Peter: No, why would I eat shaving cream if I don't like the way it tastes?
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I know we’ve already read a lot of “men writing women” crap, but I am absolutely losing my mind at this passage
me: *gets depressed*
my breasts:
EDIT: this passage is from “The Marriage Plot” by Jeffrey Eugenides
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and all my friends are tired of hearing how much i miss you
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