A blonde walks in a bank to get a loan. “I need to borrow $100 for a month,” she says. 

The banker frowns, but takes her information anyway. He runs her credit but can’t find a report. “I’m sorry,” he says, “but in the absence of a credit record, we’ll have to charge 20% interest on the loan, and you’ll need to put up collateral.

“What does that mean?” the blonde says.

“It means,” the banker says, “you’ll have to repay us $120, and you’ll need to give us something more valuable to hold onto until you pay us back.”

“Something more valuable?” The blonde says. “How about my Ferrari?”

The banker nearly snorts his coffee all over his desk, but he prides himself on customer service so he soldiers on. He runs the title on the Ferrari and what do you know, the blonde owns it free and clear. “Okay, he says, “I’ll print out the papers.”

“Just so I understand,” the blonde says, “I give you my Ferrari and you give me a hundred dollars, right? And then in a month, I give you $120 and you give me my Ferrari back?”

“Yes,” the banker says, “that’s the deal.”

She signs the paperwork and hands him the keys. He counts out $100 for her and watches her saunter out the door.

A month to the day later, he’s sitting at his desk when the blonde saunters back in. She hands him $120 and says “I get my car back, right?”

“Yep, he says as he hands her the keys. She turns to go but he stops her. “Miss, I really have to ask, why did you use a $140,000 car as collateral on a $100 loan?”

“Oh!” The blonde says. “I got called out of town unexpectedly on business. How else can I park a Ferrari for a month in Manhattan for only $20?”

Steve

Steve

Steve

Steve

Steve

How zionists talk about the murder of 4, 8 and 10 years old children

UPDATE: Their name is now Aussie Stripemen

Another character commission. I call them Autistic Academia, although I should probably give them a real name. Maybe thats a nickname for them IDK.

They are nonbinary and work in academic medical research. They are in their early 30s but everyone thinks they're younger.

this is where I commissioned this character

What I was taught growing up: Wild edible plants and animals were just so naturally abundant that the indigenous people of my area, namely western Washington state, didn't have to develop agriculture and could just easily forage/hunt for all their needs.

The first pebble in what would become a landslide: Native peoples practiced intentional fire, which kept the trees from growing over the camas praire.

The next: PNW native peoples intentionally planted and cultivated forest gardens, and we can still see the increase in biodiversity where these gardens were today.

The next: We have an oak prairie savanna ecosystem that was intentionally maintained via intentional fire (which they were banned from doing for like, 100 years and we're just now starting to do again), and this ecosystem is disappearing as Douglas firs spread, invasive species take over, and land is turned into European-style agricultural systems.

The Land Slide: Actually, the native peoples had a complex agricultural and food processing system that allowed them to meet all their needs throughout the year, including storing food for the long, wet, dark winter. They collected a wide variety of plant foods (along with the salmon, deer, and other animals they hunted), from seaweeds to roots to berries, and they also managed these food systems via not only burning, but pruning, weeding, planting, digging/tilling, selectively harvesting root crops so that smaller ones were left behind to grow and the biggest were left to reseed, and careful harvesting at particular times for each species that both ensured their perennial (!) crops would continue thriving and that harvest occurred at the best time for the best quality food. American settlers were willfully ignorant of the complex agricultural system, because being thus allowed them to claim the land wasn't being used. Native peoples were actively managing the ecosystem to produce their food, in a sustainable manner that increased biodiversity, thus benefiting not only themselves but other species as well.

So that's cool. If you want to read more, I suggest "Ancient Pathways, Ancestral Knowledge: Ethnobotany and Ecological Wisdom of Indigenous Peoples of Northwestern North America" by Nancy J. Turner

Friendsofthecongo.org

earth is sky and sky is ground did we finally leave our town?

Gentle reminder here that there are elder queers out there. Real elders, people in their 80s and 90s who survived, who are here. You can get there, old age does exist for us.

I know an old lesbian couple who have been married since the moment they legalized it. One woman can hardly walk anymore but she loves Hallmark ornaments, so her wife supports her against her walker during Christmas so she can look at them more easily.

I know a transgender man who started transitioning only 10 years ago at 60, and he's brilliant and funny and brings his grandchildren by to get sweets.

I know an asexual woman who, beamed and told me she absolutely loved not having a husband, and that she "never once regretted not getting married. I never felt that way about anybody! Why force it?" She lives with her parrot and loves salsa dancing.

Our elders exist. So many of us have been wiped out and erased on purpose, but we're here. And that means you can get there. When you're old and grey, when you're retired and done, there will be people who will love you and will care for you.

Saddest thing ever is reading an academic paper about a threatened or declining species where you can tell the author is really trying to come up with ways the animal could hypothetically be useful to humans in a desperate attempt to get someone to care. Nobody gives a shit about the animals that “don’t affect” us and it seriously breaks my heart

free my girl she did all that shit but the fandom is mischaracterizing her for it

Hey about your cartoon vs Real life Animals post, can you elaborate on the lenght of frog tongues? This is the one that shocked me, i study in a Field closely related to zoology and never heard that their tongues are human-like short, unless you were trying to make a point about their shape and not lenght, then Please disregard my inquiry :p

When I say their tongues are "more human-like" than chameleon-like, I mean, this is a chameleon's tongue:

And this is a frog's tongue:

A chameleon has an astonishingly long, thin tongue that launches like a grappling hook, and almost all media thinks this is also true of frogs and toads.

The tongues of frogs and toads DO come out farther than ours, especially because they attach at the front of their mouth, rather than the back, and "flip" outward to grab prey:

But yes, between the two, their tongues are nowhere near like those of chameleons, but broad and flat like ours. The very farthest they can stretch is like this:

When you google frog or toad tongues, unfortunately, you get many more fakes than the real thing, to the point that even science articles have been known to use them

And, the first time I ever posted about this subject, someone retrieved exactly this fake photo to try and prove that I was making all this up. Frogs have never done this! Cartoons simply exaggerated it for fun at first, and then I guess confusion with chameleon tongues lead people to believe they worked similarly!

It's such a pervasive misunderstanding that I didn't know about until my teens, and I was a biology nerd well before that too. It felt like a betrayal. I was never made to believe in Santa Claus but finding out frogs Don't Do That felt how I imagine that feels. Frog tongues were my Santa Isn't Real moment.

But, frog tongues are in my opinion just as interesting as chameleon tongues. Besides the weird flip-out structure they are extremely adhesive and also so soft and membranous that they practically "shrink wrap" to the prey! Terrifying!!! Getting got by a giant frog would be like getting wrapped up in a giant stretchy sheet of cellophane covered in glue!

there's laundry to do and a genocide to stop by vinay krishnan

Well I can say I do remember that show but I guess I was just too innocent for the fetish stuff because I just became fascinated with really gross stuff

Does anybody out there remember Grossology? That weird ass cartoon that served the same fetish-awakening vibes that Totally Spies did but for more niche fetishes like farting?

I don't have anything specific to say about this show, just that it's literally always taking up at least 2% of my mental capacity.

In particular the episode where the male protagonist gets bastardized and spends an unnecessary amount of time in a fart egg. Like how is that not some writer's extremely specific fetish?