icelovesherbaby
quarter life crisis
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single mom
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So I read this post on Facebook and immediately shared the link. Hahaha! Made me look back on the failed relationships in the past. Surprisingly din't go emotional at all. Prolly gotten used to the pain or numb with the memories, sadness, bitterness or whatever ya wanna call it from the times I remember them whenever I hear our songs, lines said to each other, see couples do the same things we've done.. I remember all the time! I haven't forgotten a single thing. You might think it's because I haven't moved on? Nah.. I just don't like to forget the good times. It reminds me to treat my failed relationships as lessons worth keeping, worth reminiscing, worth telling. I remember a quote saying "Letting go doesn't mean you forget the person completely. It just means that you find a way of surviving without them." So true. I finally learned to live my life without my daughter, Rain's dad.
Rain's dad, Veejay is #s 1,2 and 3 on this list. #1 - The First Love, my boyfriend when I was 12 years old. Imagine that? I might have started too early. OMG who am i kidding? WAAAAAAAAY too early. hahah! Then he became my #2 - The One That Could Have Been (But the Timing Was Always Off), after our 6 month relationship, we'd still text, talk to each other and see each other every year for 10 years! But we couldn't be official because we'd always have a partner we can't leave. That explains being pregnant and dealing with it alone. We had this one night of drinkin-reminiscin-yer still the one-one day we will be together kinda thing. I got pregnant when he already had plans of marrying his girlfriend at the time. Then he became my #3 - The Bad Boy , he came back to fix our relationship and there I realized he's not the guy I loved when I was 12. Duh. People change, I just tried hard to make him the person I fell in love with when we were young. Like what the post said, I tried to change him but I can't and then he just walked away again. And been a single mom since. He's already married now btw. I'll blog about our full love story when I have nothing to write. Hahaha!
So let's go to my #4 - The One That Got Away, that's definitely Ghel. 4 years of being together, living together, talking everyday and doing what married couples do. Honestly thought he was THE ONE. Until I cheated, got caught and he left me for someone (that girl is now her wife). He was perfect, indeed but I wasn't ready. :( :( :( If i could put a million sad faces here, I would. Everything in that post was said perfectly. I needed more time. And maybe if we ended up together, he wouldn't be the man he became now. I can truly say that I am happy for him. He is a great guy and will be the only guy I know won't ever afford to cheat, EVER. The ONLY guy. Well I hope THE ONE is that kind of guy too.
As for guy #5 - The One, wherever he is, I'm sure he's great and wants and longs for me too. I dont mean to be a saint and be Godly or what but I trust that God made that perfect match to fit my needs and vice versa, be able to want to serve God together, would accept and love my baby Rain as his own, laugh, be crazy, fight and make up for the rest of our days. I can imagine what it would be like, how happy we would be. Most of the time I daydream and wish I'd meet that person ASAP. But no, TRUE LOVE WAITS. I have to wait. I have to become the person he is dreaming of too. So Im crazily preserving myself til he comes and marries me. People don't believe in that anymore. Its not like as if Im a virgin, I have a kid for crying out loud. But I will do this for God, for myself and my future partner. I will be his "THE ONE" haha.
In time, in God's perfect time. <3
#single#singlemom#past#lookingback#fiveguys#breakups#exboyfriends#lettinggo#thefirstlove#theonethatcouldvebeen#thebadboy theonethatgotaway#veejayesteban#ghellerpido#relationship#movingon#lessons#plans#life#keepingthefaith#patientlywaitingfortheone
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HAPPY 2014! <3
okay, so i haven't been checking this at all and i remember when i started this blog, i swore i would write everyday. hahahah, obviously that dint happen. i guess you already know that i would love to try that again this year that's why im here. let's see if there's any improvement, eh? i hopeeeee! :)
new year, new day, new beginning? pretty sure we somehow thought of creating a list of things we wanna change or do? i haven't. but i will now. haha.. and i'm sharing it to all of you.
NEW YEAR's RESOLUTION / PLANS AND DREAMS this 2014
QUIT Smoking
DIET - Eat fruits and vegetables, less rice
EXERCISE - Go to the gym at least 3 times a week
BOX - Enroll for boxing
BE Kind - Always see the good in people
PRAY - Remember to always seek His guidance first, everytime
DON'T BE LATE, EVER - Whether its work or a party.
LET GO - Don't check his or her facebook, dont think of them ever again.
MAKE TIME FOR FRIENDS - Catch up with old friends, socialize
MORE TIME FOR FAMILY - Weekend visits ain't enough
DON'T BE LAZY - Get up and do things and BLOG
LEARN - Go back to school or something
BE RESPONSIBLE - Know my priorities, think, think, think
DRIVE - get my license and drive omg
TRAVEL - Go to places I haven't been too
EXPLORE - Be more extrovert, do things, good things, be adventurous
BUDGET - Save and manage my expenses daily
AVOID spending too much time on Facebook!
Hmmm, I'd do my best to do those. One step at a time. I really need to learn how to live life again. I'm just always on Facebook envying people's success, getting jealous of all their experiences and all. Its time to get a life and make it really fun and good. I can feel this would be a good year for me and my daughter. I'm claiming it! AMEN!!!
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If you don't want anyone to find out, don't do it.
-chinese proverb
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i can listen to this all day.. missing toby ramiscal and gene lerpido. they love playing this song.
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"I tried to believe every word of your sweet story..but intuition keeps telling me you're making a fool outta me.."
seriously!! this is the story of my lovelife! hahahah! daym! <3
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what if you would just come right out of these clothes..you can finally feel the wind when it blows.. don't be scared to be free to let go, show it off.. feel like letting go.. oh oh oh oh ♥
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I Love You This Big
I know I'm still young
But, I know how I feel
I might not have too much experience
But, I know when love is real.
By the way my heart starts pounding
When I look into your eyes
I might look a little silly
Standing with my arms stretched open wide.
I love you this big
Eyes have never seen... this big
No-one's ever dreamed... this big
And I'll spend the rest of my life
Explaining what words cannot describe but, I'll try
I love you this big
I'll love you to the moon and back
I'll love you all the time
Deeper than the ocean
And higher than the pines.
Cause girl, you do something to me
Deep down in my heart
I know I look a little crazy
Standing with my arms stretched all apart.
(Chorus)
So much bigger than I ever dreamed my heart ever would
I love you this big
And I'd write your name in stars across the sky
If I could, I would
(Chorus)
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we we're listenin to 'i love you this big' she dint want to remove the earphone.. then she fell asleep.. she loves music too! she's amazing.. ♥
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Hangovered - to not remember f****** anything you did the night before because of an excessive amount of alcohol or drugs. Like in "The Hangover"
from left to right: Jec, me & Enzo.. Yukie, me and Mae :)
i was literally hangovered last night.. i dont remember posin like an idiot.. and people were lookin pa daw. whatever i said, i dont really remember it na.haha! thanks for reminding me what happened Mae & Yukie. badtrip. iling iling. :)
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Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.
Louis de Bernieres (via boyfeelslove)
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