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hyperfigations · 5 months
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drakepad but like, ineffable
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hyperfigations · 6 months
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No fun, no fun at all 😭
Now that I know that Crowley can become pocket-sized, I just wanna take her and put him in a plastic water bottle and just SHAKE THE WATER BOTTLE
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hyperfigations · 6 months
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Now that I know that Crowley can become pocket-sized, I just wanna take her and put him in a plastic water bottle and just SHAKE THE WATER BOTTLE
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hyperfigations · 6 months
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You go to your friend’s house and Jeff Bezos is there. You’re like “are you insane? That’s Jeff Bezos, he’s evil, we need to throw him out” and your friend tries to convince you that no poor Jeff Bezos has amnesia and is in a lot of trouble so you have to help him. This is insane to you but you’re in love with your friend so you’re like okay
and then Jeff Bezos regains his memories and runs off to live out his queer love story. You’re like “well that was INSANE wasn’t it? Let’s go do boozy brunch to get over it and also I might be in love with you”
..but your friend/love of your life is like “this is awkward but I’m actually the new CEO of Amazon”

.that would be terrible wouldn’t it? Well something really similar happened to my good friend crowley
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hyperfigations · 7 months
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A Nightingale's Song: A Nice And Not-So-Accurate Season 3
Summary:
“How long are you going to brood today? Because we have about thirty minutes until I gotta close up shop,” A familiar voice pulled him from his thoughts. He hadn’t even noticed the coffee shop owner had sat down at his table. Crowley rolled his eyes from underneath dark lenses. “M’not brooding,” He mumbled, attempting to take a sip of his coffee without wincing at the bad taste it left in his mouth. Nina knew better, especially after having to put up with him for the past six months. She gave him a knowing look. “I’d say all liars go to hell but ya know,” ♡♡♡ Two months after Aziraphale had accepted the Metatron's offer, the Second Coming is finally put into motion. Aziraphale and Crowley must get over their personal issues to do what they do best: Stop Heaven and Hell from destroying Earth.
Prologue: The angels fall and Aziraphale makes a new friend on the Eastern Gate.
Word Count: 2,382
TW: None! I don't think! Let me know if there is though!
Author's Note: Hello! First fic in a year or so! So I am VERYYY rusty 😭 I apologize for that! And first Good Omens fic I've ever written! I'm pretty excited! I hope you like it!!
Also Disclaimer: This fic is just for entertainment purposes! I'm not really trying to predict Season 3 or anything, this is all just for fun!!!
Please enjoy! And if you have any constructive criticism, please let me know! I always aim to write better! Thank you!!
God had once said the days leading to the Sin of Eden had all been nice.
But God lied.
The day the angels had fallen was indeed not nice. Though many were ready for this two-day war to be over, the end was not what they had in mind. It was a sour, bitter victory. They had watched their Lord cast out their once dear friends from their home, the very home they had helped build. The crowds of angels who were just battling their brothers and sisters now stared blankly down from Heaven through the parted clouds. Grief and horror had not existed before that moment, but it was written all over their faces.
God was never thought of as being cruel, at least not in those first few days of the world being made. But it was hard to think of Her as anything else as She made a point to let all those who were left see the Fall. It was like She wanted them to know the cost of disobedience.
The sight of all those who opposed Her dropping from the sky was
 well, it was terrifying. If there were humans on Earth -which at this point in time, there weren’t- they would look up at the sky and see one of the most beautiful meteor showers they had ever laid eyes on. But there weren't any people on Earth. Not yet. And what the angels saw was anything but beautiful. They did look like stars falling from the dark blanket of a sky, the last of their grace being stripped away by gravity as it pulled them downward. The soft glow of their holy light was now replaced with a raging fire that outlined their bodies.
The Fall felt slow. Agonizing. Many tried to fly back upward, begging for their Creator to help them like a crying child reaching toward their mother. But God hadn’t even flinched. She watched Her creations tumble downward with no remorse. Their white wings set ablaze with just a blink of Her eyes and from the heavens, they could hear them screaming.
The Fallen’s descent from their old home was broken by boiling pools of sulfur. Thousands of disobedient angels splashed into these pools, and the heat did not comfort their already burning bodies.
They were all sobbing, screaming out to God. God was listening, but She didn’t answer.
The Fallen climbed their way out of the thick liquid, not looking quite the same as they were. Their once clear skin was now riddled with scales or warts or anything deemed unholy. They had features that looked quite similar to the animal prototypes that were still in beta back in Heaven, and the love they had once felt from God Herself was gone. They were left feeling unloved, unholy, and ugly.
They wanted to go back home.
But one Fallen Angel, a little more determined than the others to crawl out of boiling black sulfur pits, made his way to the edge of the bubbling pool. He forced himself up and out, his dark auburn curls matted down with black-like tar. His robes were now darkened, his wings still ablaze. His soft eyes were now sharp and yellow and filled with malice. They were burning and wet, not just from tears but from the chemicals that forced its way through his lids. He didn’t know if he was staring at his maker. But he did know She was listening. He could feel Her listening to all of their suffering. That in itself made him more livid.
“Why,” he screamed to Her. And all the angels who stayed above could hear him clearly over the cries of the damned. One angel was more interested in listening than the others. The fluffy-haired cherub stepped forward to get a better view of the ripped-open earth below where the Fallen had landed.
“You’re punishing us? And for what? You made us like this! You gave us the freedom to ask questions! To choose! Why punish us for how you made us?! Why should we pay for your mistake?!”
The one angel in the crowd cringed, as he looked down through the clouds. It was dawn now and the sun, the very sun that was made by that particular fallen angel, was shining against the Fallen. And the exiled angels were far easier to see now. The fallen angel, glaring at God, had in fact been the angel he saw create gorgeous star systems and beautiful nebulas. He never did catch his name
 Not that it matters now. But even so, his heart hurt for him. The cherub whose name is Aziraphale, admired how passionate he had been while cranking up the engine to start the universe. Oh, how his eyes shined brightly, almost mimicking the stars he had just created. But that angel questioned God
 He denied Her plan. Even now, he was still asking questions. The very same kind of questions that had led him to be punished. So why did Aziraphale feel so bad for him?
To Aziraphale’s horror, he found himself wondering the same thing. She created them. She gifted them with freedom of choice, but when some angels exercised that freedom, they were punished. What was the point of giving someone the right to choose if they can’t choose? the angel found himself pondering, but then his eyes met with the being that was God, and his thoughts were replaced with terror. She was all-knowing. She could probably hear every single doubt that crossed his mind. He didn’t want to fall
 Falling was horrible
 It wasn’t too long ago when angels would look to God and feel a warm comfort. She was supposed to be a beacon of hope. But She was radiating anything but. It was clear from the authority on Her face now that She wanted to be feared. And She was feared.
Angels were terrified to even speak, lest they say something that would displease Her. Nobody - not even the mightiest of archangels- dared to speak up.
They all stared at Her in silence
 A deep, tense silence.
God decided She was quite finished with the Fallen. She had made her point loud and clear to her children. With the wave of Her hand, God closed the clouds so no one could see the Fallen any longer. The screams had ceased. Well, the screams continued but they just couldn't be heard by the angels anymore. Her head turned to look at all Her remaining soldiers and smiled a sickening, sweet grin. She glanced at the angel who stood next to Her, and he nodded. His white wings spread wide, his voice carrying across what was once a battlefield, “We've already wasted too much time, don't you all think? Let’s get back to work.”
With that, God left them to do Her work. The Metatron, the mouthpiece of God, reminded the angels that She wouldn’t punish them if She hadn’t cared. That she loved all of them dearly. But the word love didn’t feel right. How was what they saw love? But Aziraphale shook his head, eager to be rid of the doubt that began to riddle his mind.
Who were they to question God?
Even if it was clear that Her love was one of her many lies.
♡♡
Aziraphale didn’t feel like he earned his promotion, but when the Supreme Archangel tells you that you’re no longer a cherub but a principality, then you don’t argue. You just nod, and ask what to do next. The past few days had been busy since then. He had been put in charge of God's special little place on Earth that they had settled on calling the Garden of Eden. He was to look after it, protect it from the Fallen Angels, who (according to the Metatron) were to be called demons now. Aziraphale didn't get why, to be honest. Why would the Fallen Angels
 or "demons" want to hurt what they helped create. Then again, nothing made sense anymore. Everyone in Heaven used to be so sure of themselves; of their work. But nowadays, since the end of the Great Battle, everyone felt like they were walking on eggshells. As if any minute mistake would cause any of them to join their estranged peers down in Hell.
Aziraphale stood on the Eastern Gate, mindlessly playing with the flaming sword that was given to him. He was told to use said sword if anyone threatened Eden, but if he was being honest with himself, he didn’t know if he would ever use it. Not even on a demon. Even with the stories that Michael was telling the Cherubs about them, how evil they were. No, we wouldn’t dare
 even so, he still held onto the sword dutifully, as if he would use it. He turned from the gigantic, beige dunes outside of the walls to look at the luscious, green beauty of God’s newest creation. Eden at the moment, was bountiful with hard-working angels, trying to get everything ready for tomorrow, which was going to be a big day, so they were told. Word upstairs was that God was ready to let loose Her newest invention: humans. This day was the day that all angels have been waiting for since God Herself presented the plan she had for Earth.
His face brightened slightly at the sight of some angels tending to the plants in the garden, laughing amongst themselves as they worked. For the first time in a few days, they seemed relaxed. Like they were Before.
It was nice.
A low hissing noise sounded near his feet. The principality let out an involuntary yelp, jumping back. His white wings spread above as if to make him seem bigger than whatever had startled him. His grip on the hilt of the sword tightened as he looked down at the end of his white robes only to see a long line of black and red scales. The angel’s eyes narrowed as he stepped forward to take a closer look. He was a bit surprised to see the black and red line staring straight back up at him, with gleaming yellow eyes. Aziraphale had seen prototypes back in Heaven of a creature like this, though at the moment the name of such a beast slipped his mind. He glanced down at the group of angels to see if they had heard him, but thank the Lord, they did not. How embarrassing would that be? To be frightened so easily by a creation of God? Aziraphale’s face flushed red, letting out a flustered giggle.
“Oh dear,” He said. “You gave me quite the scare.”He bent down, the bottom of his wings laying gently on the warm, gray stone of the wall behind him. He beamed bashfully at the beast, who was still watching him curiously. “What are you doing up here?” He asked, inquisitively. “I do rather think you’re supposed to be down in the garden with the other animals.” Aziraphale watched the beast as if it was supposed to answer him. “I suppose you’re just being curious. I don’t blame you, truthfully.” The angel stood up straight just to sit down on the edge of the wall, watching the others work once again, his legs dangling over the edge. The beast didn’t move, he still just watched the guardian. It almost carried a nervous energy to it and turned its attention to the flaming sword in his hand. Realization dawns upon the angel's face and without hesitation, he set the sword on his side away from the creature. "Oh no, don't worry, my dear," he whispered sweetly. "You're safe here." Aziraphale's face grew brighter as the beast slithered its way up next to him. It kept its golden eyes fixed on him, cautiously. "I bet all you creatures are very confused with what's going on down there," He told it. "Tomorrow is a big day. A happy one at that! Everything we've worked on
 fought for will all be clear tomorrow." The beast gave him a look of doubt. Aziraphale could feel it wash over him, "Well
 at least I hope it will be clear." He glanced at it, his lips creasing down on his face but quickly shook it off. "No, no. It will be. God has a plan, and we angels have the easy part. We just follow it." For the first time since it had got here, the beast stared away from the angel and out into the garden. It was thinking. "Well then," Aziraphale sighed, startling the beast out of its thoughts. It let out a small hiss, moving away from the angel as he scrambled up to his feet, snatching up the flaming sword on his way up. Aziraphale didn't pay any mind to the creature, it was obviously just afraid, and though he didn't understand why, he knew better than to pry into its business. Not that he could actually talk to it anyway. The other animals weren't up to conversation, and he assumed that this one wasn't any different. This one was different however in the way it did seem to respond. Maybe not in words but he could feel that it understood him. He'd never come across such a clever creature. "I should return to my duties before Archangel Gabriel catches me lounging around. You see, he doesn’t take kind to being lazy on the job. You should get back with the other animals, my dear." The beast glanced his way and then back at the garden, almost looking a bit hesitant to go in. Aziraphale waved his hands dismissively, "Not that I don't enjoy your company. Because I do! But I'm sure the angels down there will notice you gone, and everything must be in tip-top condition for tomorrow. So off you go!" The beast's forked tongue tested the air before it slipped its way down the stone and into Eden. The Guardian of the Eastern Gate grinned proudly to himself as if to say ‘Good job me! Making sure tomorrow goes as smoothly as possible!’ He now was ready (if not far more ready than before) to continue his duty of making sure no pesky demons make their way into the garden.
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hyperfigations · 7 months
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Ineffable Husbands Divorce but Gotta Go My Own Way from High School Musical 2 is playing in the background
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hyperfigations · 7 months
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MURIEL'S PLAYLIST IS EVERYTHING STOP
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The taste is immaculate from all of them we fear.
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hyperfigations · 7 months
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We love a mom who supports her daughter writing fanfiction about two queer idiots in love đŸ˜­đŸ©·
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hyperfigations · 7 months
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Crowley: And I do remember, oh, very clearly, the look on your face, Archangel Gabriel. When you told my only friendto shut his stupid mouth and die. And I
 did not
 care for it.
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hyperfigations · 7 months
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A Nightingale's Song: A Nice and Not-so-Accurate Season Three
New Chapter!!! Woohoo!! Had to rewrite this so many times but my mom said she liked so imma just post it LMAO! Hope you enjoy!
Chapter 1: Archangel Raphael
Summary: “How long are you going to brood today? Because we have about thirty minutes until I gotta close up shop,” A familiar voice pulled him from his thoughts. He hadn’t even noticed the coffee shop owner had sat down at his table. Crowley rolled his eyes from underneath dark lenses. “M’not brooding,” He mumbled, attempting to take a sip of his coffee without wincing at the bad taste it left in his mouth. Nina knew better, especially after having to put up with him for the past six months. She gave him a knowing look. “I’d say all liars go to hell but ya know,” ♡♡♡ Two months after Aziraphale had accepted the Metatron's offer, the Second Coming is finally put into motion. Aziraphale and Crowley must get over their personal issues to do what they do best: Stop Heaven and Hell from destroying Earth.
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hyperfigations · 7 months
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Maybe the good omens were the friends we made along the way.
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hyperfigations · 8 months
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Bee fell first, Gabe fell harder
I've seen it described the other way around, but I really believe this is how it happened.
Okay, so.
Bee fell first.
That first meeting, at the bar in Russia (?)
Gabe seems annoyed to be there. He's disinterested, doesn't know why he's there.
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I don't think either is particularly interested in the other at this point. But it DOES start here. Well, it builds on something that happened at the airbase. Gabe realizes he has an equal who understands the frustration of being held accountable for all of Heaven, and so does Bee, with Hell. It's a strange feeling of camaraderie neither of them has felt before. Which is why Gabe gets flustered by the "Arma-bloody-gedon" and starts to joke about it. And Bee NOTICEABLY perks up when he's being a goofball about it.
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Gabe then quickly shuts it down, with the "pity we'll never speak again." I think he's genuinely saying that. It's a shame he won't feel that camaraderie again, since obviously the war is still going to happen. Or so they both believe.
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The next meeting. This was a HUGE jump. They went from "we're ready for Armageddon 2.0" to "how about no" in one meeting. Obviously we're given to assume that more meetings than we've seen have taken place. Gabe shows up at the bar and launches into his plan of no Armageddon. I think at this point he's intrigued by the way he feels when he's with them and if the war happens, he doesn't get to explore that more. Bee, on the other hand, is GONE for him at this point. The way they EAT UP his no-Armageddon plan immediately, and the way they're smiling at him?!
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AND. The most important bit. When they explain the music to him. They do it SO GENTLY. Bee, the demon who's usually yelling, usually insulting everyone around them. They explain the music to help him understand. And he's receptive to it, maybe not necessarily enjoying the song itself, but enjoying it because Bee likes it. Bee's enjoyment makes him happy.
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And the way they look at him when he says that. Head over heels.
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I would still argue that at this point, Gabriel is still merely interested in exploring all these new feelings he gets when he's with Bee. He's taking this much slower than Bee. But then he invites them to go look at his statue. Does he understand how vain that is? Probably not, but the fact that he invited them to see something that makes him happy? He took a big step here. Maybe bigger than Bee realizes. This meeting has no pretense, no motive like the previous ones did. Those were "we need to talk about the war" meetings. This one is PURELY for the purpose of meeting up with each other.
And how sad Bee looks when Gabe is talking about how much he enjoys looking at the statue? They want so badly for him to look at them like that, but I don't think they realize that he's almost there.
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How could they? They probably have feelings of doubt, of low self worth, because this is the Supreme Archangel Gabriel, they're a demon. He couldn't possibly reciprocate what they're feeling.
Could he?
But then they get their answer, at the pub, with the miracle. This is the angel who frowns upon frivolous miracles, thinks it's a waste of holy energy. He miracles the song to play for them. For no reason other than Bee. To make them happy, to see them smile. And smile they do.
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Gabe fell harder
Beelzebub jumped in to their feelings with both feet, but Gabe was more hesitant. He did have a lot more to lose, I'd argue. Bee has already fallen, Gabe probably assumes he could fall for being involved with a demon. Especially since Heaven is probably intensely watching for that after, you know, that other angel and demon. Which is a terrifying prospect, I'd assume, for the angel in charge of everything. And he's vain, he loves himself, loves being righteous, loves the authority of Heaven. So of course he's more hesitant. But he leaves all that behind when he admits to himself that there's something worth more than choosing Heaven.
Y'all. Not only was he ready to fall, he welcomed it. He didn't want to spend another minute in Heaven without Bee. Look at his face when Metatron says he's going to remain an angel. He's SO DONE.
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We're lead to believe that falling is the worst thing that can happen to an angel, and Gabriel is willing, no, insistent that he fall.
He wouldn't be falling because of Bee, he'd be falling for Bee.
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hyperfigations · 8 months
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@softest-punk ‘s amazing writing was the inspiration behind this, ( the text here is from the fic) !please go read their work it is divineee!
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hyperfigations · 8 months
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Prologue is finished! Haven't written in a while, so I am hella rusty but I wanted to get it out anyway!
Description:
The Second Coming is close at hand and the only thing standing in the way is Aziraphale and well... Jesus Christ, himself. When he signed up for Supreme Archangel, he hadn't noticed the fine print that said glorified baby-sitter. Not that he didn't like looking after God's only child, but he found it hard to try and multitask stopping the second end of the world and helping Jesus know the difference between right and wrong.
On Earth, right where Aziraphale left him, Crowley is trying to learn how to be on his own without his angelic bestfriend. Luckily for him, some humans and a new, unlikely angel friend are there to help him.
Check it out on AO3! :)
A Nightingale's Song (A Nice and Not-So-Accurate Season 3)
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hyperfigations · 8 months
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Can't stop thinking about 60s femme Aziracrow and COWBOY WILD WEST AZIRACROW?!?!?! I would literally kill SOOOOO many people for that
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hyperfigations · 8 months
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Finally, Crowley's is done now 😭😭 boy howdy, these playlists made me wanna tear my hair out. "Oh, this will be fun! Doing little playlists like Amazon did with Season 2." Wellll, it was fun, but it still took me FOREVER 😭 I honestly prolly made it harder for myself LMAO
Anywayssss here's Crowley's playlist for my upcoming fic: A Nightingale's Song (A Nice and Not-so-Accurate Season 3)
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Made some silly lil playlists for my fanfic coming out soon >:) props to the Good Omens Official Account cuz this shit took me TOO long LMAO
But anyways, Aziraphale's playlist for my Fanfic: A Nightingale's Song (A Nice and Not-so-Accurate Season 3)
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hyperfigations · 8 months
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Bro, my writing is so rusty 😭😭 AGHHHHHHH, but I'm gonna push through whether it's good or not đŸ„Č
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