thxrofthcnder‌:

nobody was perfect. not lindsay, not ally, not elody.. and certainly not sam. she would never admit it loud, but.. she wasn’t perfect. she doubted herself instantly - had remained with a boy she wasn’t even sure she loved in the end, had doubted her best friend’s intentions.. and in the end, apparently, had to die for a mistake that had been made by lindsay, all of those years ago. it hadn’t been her mistake, even if she had often called juliet a psycopath.. her fate had been sealed all of those years ago, when lindsay had pointed a finger at juliet sykes and said “she did it!”.   it hadn’t been her fault and at the same time.. it was. that was the funny and yet ironic thing about it - one bad action done years ago could have consequences years later, if not yourself.. for the people you loved. that was exactly what had happened with her and lindsay and juliet - a bad thing lindsay had done years ago had come back to haunt her and in the end.. had been sam’s undoing. maybe that was lindsay’s fault, maybe it wasn’t. maybe it was sam’s, maybe it wasn’t. they would never know, especially since they were here now.  

“maybe you did.” sam told the other, voice shaking at the end, before she shook her head. “maybe you didn’t. i suppose it doesn’t matter now. it’s just you and me here and.. we’ll probably never see elody or ally again.” a sorrow too deep for words passed through sam for a moment but she hide it, replacing her sadness with a smile. she wouldn’t show her weakness, especially not lindsay. especially not when she was still so confused about everything, including how she felt about her best friend. “i wish you had told me the truth, lindsay. it just.. i’m sad i never gave you a reason to trust me enough, no matter how hard i tried. you were an amazing friend. i just wish you had trusted all of us - trusted me, enough to tell us the truth. things might have been different.” sam might have lived, even if she wouldn’t dare say that out loud again, because she knew lindsay would keep on blaming herself.  in the end, it wasn’t her fault. in the end, it wasn’t anyone’s fault but fate’s. karma was a bitch, after all.  

 because.. for sam, that was how it had happened. if lindsay didn’t trust her enough to tell her the truth, then.. then she didn’t trust her at all. did that mean she had been the bad friend? sam couldn’t be sure. she just hoped.. she just hoped it wasn’t the case. she nodded, sighing a little bit. “over and over again. i guess.. that was the payback for what we- for what i did to juliet. having to give my life for her own. i didn’t.. i never wanted to leave you, you know?” she reaches for her best friend’s hand then, giving it a squeeze, just like she always did when lindsay needed to be reassured about something.  “not you, not my parents.. not izzy.” feeling her voice crack at the mention of her baby sister, sam sighed, running a hand through her hair.  “all of it. sometimes.. telling the truth is hard but after you do it, you actually feel better. trust me, i know. ” after relieving the same day over and over again, sam was sure that sometimes telling the truth, no matter how hard it was, was the right thing to do.  “what happened with juliet.. it wouldn’t have made us like you any less. you would still be our lindsay - fearless and formidable and beautiful.”

  IT’S not like it matters now. it’s not like they’ll see their families, it’s not like sam’s seen hers. it’s not like things are normal between them. it’s not like everything she did for years matters now. ( not to sam, not to rob, not to anyone but her. and her fragile mind; alone in the dark. ) “ elody and ally missed the hell out of you. ” because they did. in a different way to the way she did. less despairing, more grieving. she was grieving too, but she got the impression she would never stop. elody and ally would heal eventually. have a bruise where a stab wound used to be. she never got far enough to stop the bleeding. “ maybe you’re right. ” something she never thought she’d acknowledge. maybe sam was right. maybe her death was all her fault, maybe the universe punished sam because it could. maybe it was misdirected, meant for her or designed to hurt her. worse than killing her; taking sam  somewhere she couldn’t follow. if the universe was that vindictive. “ are you going to ask if i trust you too? ” care and trust. here was one of the only people she awarded both to, no questions asked, and she was being torn down for it. perhaps sam loves the person she wishes she was. ( that would make sense; her new lease on life promoted by some haunted groundhog day punishment culminating in teaching the final lesson. )  sam squeezes her hand, because despite everything, she still knows her. knows her cues. lindsay doesn’t jerk her hand away, but she doesn’t acknowledge the contact either. “ but you had to. ” there’s something about her responsibility and her grief mingling together, so far that she can’t tell where one starts and ends. “ izzy missed you too. ” they got close, after sam died. izzy seemed to be the only one who truly understood what she was going through, and called her out on the actuality of it. she held her accountable in a way no one else did; funny how kids worked like that, wasn’t it?  some lack of fear of how other people will see you. ( she loved her, she did. ) “ sometimes telling the truth is destructive. ” there’s a shrug, that’s all she’ll give away. she can’t run so she’s stopping, shutting down. ( she could run; but she’s terrified sam won’t be there. ) she gives her further assurance, calls her beautiful and fearless and formidable, and she knows she’d cry if she were anywhere else. “ your lindsay. ”

toughgirlsass‌:

“Gosh, you are a life saver. Thanks a lot hun.” Megara pocketed her phone the minute she had seen the car pull up. This was the first time for her using this so called..UBER. Weird name. But Daisy had told her it held a lot of benefits to get you around the town should you ever find yourself without a car. She’d always try something once before saying no. Hopefully this wouldn’t be a bad experience. “You definitely charge less than any taxi around and sometimes it’s impossible to get one of those.” She sighed, getting into the passenger seat and shutting the door. “I just need to stop into main town to the craft store. I really need to stock up on my art supplies.” 

  “ MY pleasure. ” actual customer service from lindsay edgecombe? who knew. already pulling out of the lot when the other girl is in the car, eyes cast over the dashboard as she turns the corner out of campus. “ because everyone wants one of them, right? ” they don’t necessarily meet demand. a lot could be said about lindsay edgecombe ( bitch, manipulator, mess ) but she was nothing if not smart. ( she was going to get into duke after all. before all this. ) “ craft store it is. ” fingers tap lightly on the steering wheel before she makes the turn. “ you an art major? ”

captiiivating‌:

“ i don’t think i should      oh my ! … bad idea.” kara took a leap back, dropping her hand off the bathroom’s door knob. despite hearing a series of questionable sounds coming from behind the door, the girl of steel had good faith in taking the other’s advice to see what might’ve been going on using x-ray vision which usually ended up being a gift, though now was one of those doubtful moments inwhich the heroine was internally debating if it were actually a gift. it’s not like they wanted to just barge in. that would’ve been rude. “ i .. is there another bathroom we can use ?” she cleared her throat as well as an attempt to clear her mind. “i think this one is already occupied.”

  “ BAD luck. ” her heightened senses came in handy for moments like these. she could hear everything going on behind the door, despite the fact she wished she couldn’t. and she had made this particular mistake early on. “ that’s the sex bathroom. ” pointing at the door the other woman was now a little more distanced from. “ there’s one on the third floor that everyone else uses. you know it? ”

starblcsters‌:

Tired of flying around everywhere, and even more tired of having to push his feet around just to get places, Quill could feel his laziness setting in fast. It wasn’t that he wasn’t capable of exercising when necessary–five days a week he did–but running and jogging everywhere just didn’t have the same thrill that flying gave you. Hell, even earth vehicles nowadays were completely different and upgraded from way back in 1982, which had been a pleasant revelation for the former Guardians leader. Just as he was leaving the campus grounds, a car pulled up next to him, the driver seemingly content with actually…providing him a driver’s service? “Uh, if you’re offering me a ride, I guess I’ll take it,” Quill shrugged, and just as he stepped inside the car, he turned to the driver with a confused expression. “Aren’t you the chick that I accidentally threw my trash all over last week?” 

  “ GET in. ” called shortly before the male does, and she starts to pull out of her temporary parking. fighting the temptation to give her passenger an exaggerated sigh. having a garbage bath didn’t put her in a good mood, but it isn’t really where her anger lies anymore. ( it could stan that she could tell the difference, if anyone from high school were to see her now.  ) “ and the dude that made sure i had to have my jacket dry cleaned, yeah. ” hands tighten on the steering wheel but she turns to him anywhere. “ so, are you planning on telling me where you’re going or are we just taking the scenic route to fucking nowhere ? ”

samantha kingston & lindsay edgecombe - “we’d still love you, linds.” - @hpemikaelson​

  “ CALL for an uber? ” it wasn’t technically uber, but she had decided it was easy. a few rides a week and she could make some extra cash. it was easy. what sam had said to her - accused her of - still haunted her but this was a good job. steady income. she wasn’t going to give up because it put a pit in the bottom of her stomach. leaning over and pushing the passenger door open before she slips back into her seat. “ where are we heading? ” 

ofchaoswitches‌:

“you ever get those day where your mind is completely blank and you can’t answer questions or you’re confused. i mean today i couldn’t even decide what i wanted to eat for lunch.” wanda mused. “i swear i was screaming in my head ‘get a grip, girl!’ totally embarrassing.”

  “ WHEN i’m distracted. ” which, truthfully, she was most of the time. her distractions had distractions. lizzie had gone off to chase some lead about the merge, she could only assume, and she wasn’t letting it get to her. she wasn’t receding back into loneliness and desperate coping. she was different now. ( but that didn’t mean she hadn’t thrust herself back into work as soon as she could. ) “ a friend of mine used to say i had a busy brain. ” huh, looks like her and landon were friends now.

ofchaoswitches‌:

“you ever get those day where your mind is completely blank and you can’t answer questions or you’re confused. i mean today i couldn’t even decide what i wanted to eat for lunch.” wanda mused. “i swear i was screaming in my head ‘get a grip, girl!’ totally embarrassing.”

   “ only when i’m hungover. ” THE answer slips out with ease, even if it isn’t the truth, and perhaps, because it isn’t the truth. she’s lied for so long she doesn’t necessarily have to think about them anymore. her brain isn’t fooled into believing theyre true, it just understands the routine. regardless of what sam had said. ( we’d like you anyway. ) “ it’s a symptom, not a disease. lucky for us. ”

thxrofthcnder‌:

she used to believe lindsay was perfect. she used to believe that she was the strongest person she had ever met - after all,   she couldn’t remember the last time she had seen the other cry or.. if it had ever happened. lindsay,     who was fearless and funny and smart and who had never once given up on her, even when sam herself felt like giving up.  it was the secrets.. sam had always known that secrets ripped people apart - destroyed friendships and love and family, but she had never believed it would happen to her and lindsay. once upon a time, she thought she and elody and ally were eternal, that they would be together forever, as any good group of friends should.  

she hadn’t know the truth by then.   she hadn’t know that lindsay was just like everyone else - broken, scared, fragile.. and not unbreakable. but if there was anything that going through the loop had taught her, it was that no one and nothing was unbreakable. everything broke, eventually. she had just been a fool to believe that lindsay would be any different.   “don’t i? i mean, you lied to me, for all of these years. perhaps i don’t know you. perhaps i never knew you. didn’t you use to say i love you bitches to death? what was the point, lindsay, if you had been lying to us all along? did you even…  did you even care about any of us?” she thinks of elody, with her soft hands and quick hugs and ally, always the first one to make any of them laugh and she feels the need to scream. had her entire life been a lie? it was ironic that it had taken death - her death, to make things better, to make her see what had been there all along. samantha kingston felt like a monster. but above all.. she felt like a monster for hurting lindsay, for something that wasn’t even her fault. but then again, it wasn’t hers either. it was no one’s.  and in that moment, she decides she’s going to tell her. she will tell her and even if lindsay thinks she’s mad, she’ll tell her, because.. sam can’t find another way to explain.    

   “no, i don’t.. you don’t know what i went through, lindsay. i was.. you’ll probably think i’m crazy after this, but.. i relieved the same day over and over again. like in a loop, i don’t know. the first time, you were driving when.. when we crashed into someone. juliet. i died. and then.. it kept going on and on - elody died, juliet died.. until i knew what i had to do figure out a way to make it stop. i guess i did.”   she looked down, suddenly very ashamed.  it had never been lindsay’s fault and yet.. she was treating her as if it had been. oh, god, what had she done?   then, she decides to take a chance. she moves forward, grabbing lindsay’s wrist. “lindsay, please.. that’s not what i want. i.. we would still like you, you know? elody and ally and me. you didn’t have to lie. we’d love for you who you are, past be damned. i’m.. i’m sorry about what i said.” she whispers the last part carefully, still not meeting lindsay’s eyes.

  PERFECT has never been in her vocabulary. she’s never had a perfect life; her parents fought from, she had gathered, probably before she was born. it was loud and intrusive and unstoppable. she hadn’t understood it as a child, hadn’t had the language to talk about it, and so she never did. so her body paid the price again. she grew up terrified, and broken, and not knowing what it meant to be loved. her mother tried, she thought, and perhaps her father too. her step-brother, her father’s new family. but the nights alone, or sometimes with juliet, haunted her. she grew out of the bed wetting, but the crushing reality that everything had crumbled around her before she even knew what it meant stayed. and so she created perfection. she created the mean girl, who was funny. maybe unconsciously at first - as a way to distract herself, make herself feel better. people laughed, people liked her. and she so wanted to be liked. ( sam did like her, love her, she thought - but she saw her too. )  “ i care about all of you. ” they were her rock. they were her army, and her cheerleaders, and they were just what she needed. they understood not to talk about why she got up so early, unless in jest, and understood that she would never come five feet within distance of the word cute. they understood she was hurting, that she never cried, that she stayed outside sam’s house when the snow was pounding and the rain was pouring. they understood. ( and maybe they understood why she did too. ) “ elody and el. ” a pause. “ you. ” you especially. you more than anyone else. “ you made me laugh more than anyone else. ” she should be screaming, gasping in rage. but she isn’t. because she can’t hear anger - for the first time - over deafening heartbreak. “ but i must have done a pretty shitty job at showing it. ” she thought she did. in a way that was her own. in a way that didn’t set her raw nerve endings on fire. maybe it wasn’t enough. ( it definitely wasn’t enough at the end. that hug should’ve lasted minutes. ) it takes her a few moments, the information turning over and over in her brain. since she’s come to everly she’s met a girl who could read her mind, her darkest secrets, and had no shame in being forthcoming about it. she had met normal people and above average people and - god, there were people who would make what sam was saying look real. maybe because it is. “ so you went through groundhog day. ” sam goes to grab her wrist, and she gets tense immediately. she doesn’t know what to make of sam apologising, sam telling her she’d be liked anyway. “ which part? ” it’s a weak attempt at a joke, a sad smile starting as she shakes her head. “ i don’t know if i’d love me. ” not that she does now. not that she knows if she can forgive sam, not if she wants to question groundhog day. not that she knows who she is without who she’s been trying to be for so long. “ but i was real with you. with elody and al but especially you. i thought you knew that. ” there’s a reason she never called elody or al sexy in the morning.

jckpxt‌:

it’s late, she knows. she also knows she shouldn’t be wandering out and about at such ungodly hours, but when mary jane finally decided she’d had enough of the tossing and turning, insomnia creeping it’s way into the empty spot left behind by her usual nightmares — well, there was really nothing else she felt like doing other than going for a run. above all, however, she knows she should have expected someone to catch her in her attempt to sneak out of the castle unnoticed, but mj still jolts back as she makes her way through the front doors only to be faced with a shadowed figure. “jesus!” the two syllables are half-whispered, half-yelped as her wide eyed gaze meets the other’s. “you’re bound to give someone a heart attack one of these days, y’know?”

  WHERE had sam gotten off to? knowing her, probably to rectify her fight with lindsay and make sure they were back to gossip and ice cream as soon as possible. he didn’t have a problem with lindsay, truly -  he just found her taxing. he found her craving for drama, attention, and god knows what else from sam, irksome. ( there was a reason he didn’t choose the most popular girl in school. ) naturally, he was wandering around the grounds. about to go outside, find out if she was watching the stars or something under lindsay’s pretence for pretending this was all some perfect movie, when he almost collides with someone coming through the same doors. “ fuck! ” a bellowing scream, hands coming up and down in a moment, in shock. “ sorry. but you should watch yourself too. midnight owls and all. ” huffed out, relaxing pretty much immediately. “ i was looking for my girlfriend. shortish, brunette. ” he gestures to where her height is in relation to his body, his hand coming up to just below his shoulder. “ maybe with a blonde girl? ”

thxrofthcnder‌:

she didn’t miss him. still, this was rob. the only normal thing she had left in her life. it had always been that way - they were together, because they made sense. one of the most popular girls in thomas jefferson high and the guy everyone wanted to date. once upon a time, sam had been glad he was hers. that she didn’t have to share him with anyone, but now.. now, it was different. now.. everything had changed. she had changed, but still.. she was holding on to rob, because he was the most normal thing she had left. normal was good. normal kept her from thinking about what had happened. “of course i did, rob. you’re my boyfriend. things are just.. not the same without you, you know?” arms wrapped tight around his neck, sam forced herself to smile, before nodding. “never. you know you’re the only one for me. but yeah, it was more of a.. uh, thing to prepare me for college and all. ” when had she become such a great liar? face falling to the floor, sam sighed. he’d know soon enough and.. it was best if they just got the lindsay subject out of the way. “lindsay’s here, by the way. and.. well, we’re not on great terms. we had this huge fight and.. i don’t think things will ever be the same between us.” and it hurt. it hurt more than she’d ever allow herself to show in front of someone like rob - because that was a secret for another day. a secret that she’d never share with anyone, especially not rob cokran. 

       “your girl.” she repeated, the forced smile reappearing, as she remembered the one time she had opened her eyes while they were kissing and found that his were wide open, staring at the room behind her. probably at another girl. but still.. this was normal, sam told herself, over and over again. if she didn’t have normal, she didn’t have anything. “i’m good. i’m always good when i’m with you.”and when he kisses her again - somehow she’s thinking of lindsay and how she waited outside for her every morning, no matter how cold or how much it was snowing, with the perfect coffee and the perfect bagel, without ever complaining. would rob ever do the same for her? she doubted that. she shook her head. “no, i’m just.. still a bit shaken up from that fight with lindsay, that’s all. she was being a real bitch and.. i said some really bad things too.” if she ever tried to explain what had happened to rob, he would ditch her immediately and probably throw her into the asylum or something and then.. she’d be alone. she couldn’t be alone.

  IF he were being honest, he hadn’t missed her either. he hadn’t missed the way she was always enraptured with lindsay, or her friends, or some drama that had materialised for their entertainment. ( always something with samantha kingston. ) but he had missed what they were together; strong, defining and rational. they were the kind of couple that announced themselves to every room, and they were the kind of couple where that was easy. ( he liked things to be easy; perhaps that’s why he rarely cared about the drama with her friends. ) “ yeah, obviously. long distance relationships suck. ” implying that was what they were in, of course. “ sooooo like an orientation that lasted two years. ” he always got the impression that samantha’s family were work oriented, and sam oriented. his were the same, but he never really took much notice of them.  and then the inevitable happens. “ you saw lindsay? ” a sigh falls from his lips, stance adjusting as his shoes turn out, attention only taken from her for a second. shaking his head, lips pursed, in frustration. “ come on, that girl loves drama. she’ll sulk for two days and then come back grovelling on her knees. ” he can’t tell the smile’s forced, he thinks it’s genuine. he’s looking but not close enough. ( never close enough. ) he’s happy with what he gets at the surface; he’s happy with baseline samantha kingston. he always has been. and it’s not out of malice, or resentment, it’s simply because he’s ignorant. skating by doing the bare minimum - that was something she was always happy with, wasn’t it? he tried to be kind to her, good to her. but when did that start translating to basic decency? “ my girl. don’t you forget it. ” he meant what he said to her on valentine’s day; despite everything, she had no competition. ( his wandering eyes and all aside. ) “ good. and come on, ” his hands come out at her waist, palm up in an indication his next statement is obvious even as his head pulls back to get a good look at her, “ don’t be all broken up over lindsay. ” moving to rub over her back, in part in comfort, in part in distraction. “ i know you’re best friends and she’s cool but, she lives in lindsay edgecombe land. ” and that’s simply that. even for samantha. “ you wanna head back to my room? forget about her? ” they never did have their night.

thxrofthcnder‌:

sam didn’t want to think about it.   she believed that if she didn’t think about everything that happened, it would go away and never come back. she could actually pretend that she was a normal college student - that she hadn’t spent the past two years or so dead.. that she hadn’t relieved the same day on a loop, over and over again, without knowing how to get out of it.  and that was part of the reason why she had walked over to rob and not ignored him completely, because.. rob was part of her normal life. he had been there, when things had been normal and.. he had been her comfort once. his arms had been her way out of the world - times spent there when she wanted to forget a fight with lindsay or her parents and.. part of her wanted nothing more than to go back to that time, where everything had been normal. “ROB.  i’m so glad to see you.” and yet, his words throw her off guard for a moment. did he not know? what.. what had happened to her, according to lindsay? maybe he didn’t. maybe that was for the best. for a moment, she just wanted to be a normal college student, studying sociology - with a boyfriend that she could see a future with. she was still working on that last part, but.. maybe, they could make it work. and so, she took the hint, nodding a little bit. “yeah, that’s a surprise my parents planned for me. i didn’t get the chance to tell anyone but the girls before i, uh.. left. sorry about that.” she did her best to smile, figuring out it was best to just kiss him again and so, she did. at least, when they were kissing, she wasn’t thinking about it. she ignored the way he was checking her out, keeping her arms around his neck. “you too. rob, we’re.. we’re good, right? you and me. everything is as it should be, right?” she can only pray the answer is yes. she needs this right now, even if.. even if it doesn’t feel right. she needs normal and right now, this is the most normal thing she can get. she’ll take, even if it isn’t what sam truly wanted.

  “ YEAH? you missed me on your trip? ” a winning smile on his lips. barely taking note of whatever hesitance, or confusion, his words may have provoked in her. what mattered was that they were together again. “ what was that? like an internship? you getting busy without me? ” it’s a joke, his own brand of humour, just a little on the side of too crude by implication. ( different to that girl lindsay; different to the way she seemed to make sam laugh. he’d never paid too much attention. best friends, right? high school and all. ) “ you told the girls? ” he doesn’t seem offended, just surprised. “ thought they would’ve spread that like wildfire. especially lindsay. ” yet he hasn’t heard anything. “ their girl going international. come on. ” his hands go to squeeze her hips. “ my girl going international. ” she decides to kiss him again, and he’s more than happy to let her, chasing her lips perhaps too much for a public venue. “ you and me? ” he repeats, even as he’s chasing her lips again. “ yeah, we’re good if you’re good. ” they are normal. as normal as things can possibly get. the popular boy and the popular girl. the sweet high school romance with the daring edge. the one that had the potential to make it, to live in a nice apartment somewhere. to get through the rest of life together without too much of a struggle. ( they made sense, they’d keep making sense. ) “ did something get under your skin? ” he wasn’t used to seeing her so clearly unnerved. she tended to be even tempered, as far as he could. “ you seem ... tense. ”

thxrofthcnder‌:

this place was strange. so, so strange and with each individual that approached him, jafar found himself wondering what on earth he was meant to be doing here. it was better than being stuck in the lamp, that was certain, but.. it wasn’t anything like being home.  agrabah was his - he had finally accomplished what he had meant to accomplish for years, before being taken away and brought into this miserable little land. punishment? perhaps.  he had always read the genies were taken to their lamps after they were no longer needed by their current masters, but.. perhaps the books had been wrong. 

perhaps, this was where he was meant to be all along. raising an eyebrow at the boy, he observed as iago moved in closer to the boy, stopping on the other’s shoulder for a moment, before flying back to jafar.. not able to shut up, as always. “cool bird, cool bird, cool bird. i like this one.” he most certainly didn’t.  “it seems he likes you. strange. iago doesn’t usually like anyone but myself. what do they call you, boy?” that was why he had kept the bird with himself for all this time, because.. well, his loyalty was unquestionable. he had never left, not once.

he was the only one.  

“work here? do i look like a common man to you? i happen to be jafar, the sultan of agrabah. i don’t expect you to have heard of it, it’s a land far, far away from here. do i look like i need to work for a living?” in here, he probably would have to, but.. he would steal anything he needed, after all.

  “ COOL bird. ” a nod in the direction of the bird, his chin tipped up in greeting at both parties. “ call me? ” it takes his mind a second to catch up, and then his arm almost overextends as he introduces himself. “ archie. archie andrews. it’s nice to meet you. and you, iago. ” he may be slightly fascinated with the parrot in question. he had vegas back at home, who he really missed but felt he could trust his father ( and perhaps even his mother ) to take care of.  “ that sounds like a really high title. ” sultan. remind him to google that when he gets the chance. he’s never met a sultan before. ( archie andrews; so breathtakingly normal. ) “ i mean, everyone has to work, right? not that you look like anything but you have to pay the bills. ” smile remains, naivety on show. he knew there were means - favours - that one might employ to avoid working. but he didn’t know if this man was fond of those particular means. “ right? ”

thxrofthcnder‌:

she wants to feel bad. deep inside of her, there’s a girl that mourns the good times - where samantha kingston was just a girl, making her way through life and.. there wasn’t anything that she could truly count on.. anything but lindsay edgecombe. she had always been there for her, but in the end.. sam had started to realize that maybe, she never knew her. that maybe, the lindsay that she knew had never existed - she was only a facade, a mask that lindsay put up, while hiding who she truly was. the real lindsay edgecombe was flawed and selfish and scared and.. sam wanted to forgive her, she did. she wanted to wrap her arms around her and tell her it wasn’t her fault - that it was no one’s fault, but.. she forced herself to remain where she was, arms crossed over her chest. “so you were there. that’s surprising. do you know that.. that the first time i died, you were the one driving? that’s right. i always thought it was all about making sure we stayed away from that road, away from what was waiting for us at the end of it.. but it wasn’t. it was about saving juliet’s life, who didn’t deserve to die, because of what you did to her.” a pause, she caught her breath for a moment, before looking over at lindsay again.

   “it was all about you. someone innocent - someone whose life you ruined was about to kill herself.. and it was up to me to save her. your best friend’s life for the one person whose life you ruined. isn’t karma a bitch?” sam believed she had made her peace with everything that happened, but.. it was a lie.  she was so angry she wanted to scream, she was so mad she wanted to hurt the first person that stood in her way. and unfortunately, that happened to be lindsay. “oh, you don’t know? clearly. the perfect lindsay edgecombe doesn’t see what’s wrong with her, even if it’s right under her nose. you’re pathetic, you know that?” she didn’t mean to go that far, but.. there was no coming back from that. “i didn’t mean to..” it didn’t matter now, did it? the harm had been done already. those words were out of her lips and.. she was dead. she would never see fizzy grow up, she would never be walked down the aisle by her father.. she would never get to see her family again. that hurt. that hurt more than whatever pain she might be causing lindsay. “that was before i know. before i knew you had been lying. was. was anything you ever told me real?” she can’t help it but be curious. if it had been, wouldn’t lindsay have found a way to tell her? “maybe i am her, lindsay. maybe.. you’re just scared to admit that the one person who would have gladly died for you finally saw you for who you truly are. a failure.” she moved in closer to the other, finally standing face to face with her. “and i did find rob. he’s here and we’re better than ever, because unlike you, he had nothing to do with what happened to me.”

  SHE expected to face this sometime. if people found out what she did, if she stopped flying under the radar. she’d be hated, and fallen, and devastated all over again. day in and day out. wake up, miss sam, try to survive the day, lather, rinse, repeat. “ you don’t have to be surprised i went to be my best friend’s funeral. ” but this was too much. this was too much and all at once, and maybe this is how she made juliet feel for all those years. a best friend who turned on her. ( maybe she really was as horrible as sam was making her out to be. ) because she was never extraordinary. she was never even good. she was just fragile, scared lindsay edgecombe, who wanted to stop wetting the bed. she was everything sam said about her, and that’s why it hurt the most. because when she was nothing else? when she was flawed, and pretending, and hiding, and terrified - at least she was sam’s. and now that’s gone too. sam saw right through her, and now there were two holes in her delicate facade that were too wide and gaping and bleeding too fast to fix.“ what? ” it was her fault. it was always her fault.  she’s just fragile, scared lindsay edgecombe, who doesn’t think she’s ever going to be loved again. ( not that she deserved it. ) the barrage of insults might be justified, but they’re too much and too right and coming out of sam. and she thinks she’s crumbled now. she doesn’t even think she wants to keep doing this. “ you said it, so you meant it. ”  that’s her philosophy, the quickest one she can offer. sam said she was pathetic, that she was spiteful, hateful bitch. that she was punished for how scared she was. she said everything she’d ever feared. lindsay edgecombe was a failure. “ of course it was real. ” she tips her chin up, tires to square her jaw. tries to seem less devastated than she is. tries to get through the interaction so she can go and punch something. or get punched. she likely would’ve deserved the latter if sam had her say. “ we were always real. ” sam was the only person who ever saw a shred of who she really was, and apparently, she really saw her. and now she was exposed for how awful she really was.  sam was closer, and for the first time in what feels like forever, she wishes she would back off. “ i’m glad you found rob. ” she goes to smooth out her skirt. “ but i’m going to be late for work, so... ” she seems to pick herself up, inhale sharply and hope sam just takes it as frustration. the work she doesn’t have. still pretending, clinging to the fringe of her dying facade. “ if you get out of my way, you never have to see me again. ” she’s already been living with that for years. maybe this could be a dream if she told herself for long enough, fooled herself into thinking she was still samantha kingston’s. “ i’m guessing that’s what you want. so ... ”

drvgonfire‌:

      “I fail to see how this is useful to anyone.” In her hands rested a phone, one that she had managed to save up for with her campus job. It had been her first ‘major’ investment. Daenerys had quickly learned that ravens were of no use here, and hand written letters were apparently falling out. Unfortunately, the Targaryen girl had found little use for it after having it for all of three hours. “It appears more complicated than it’s worth.”

  “ YOUR phone? ” obviously, he doesn’t understand how that could be the case. he was quickly shifting over to her table, leaning over it with his forearms stretched over the table. “ you an android or an iphone person? ” characteristically charming smile fills his features, and he makes a grabbing motion for the object in her palm. “ hand it over. right over here. ”

thxrofthcnder‌:

she told herself she understood. back then, when she had first started relieving the day over and over again, she told herself she understood why lindsay had done what she did. after all, people were scared. they were scared of what they truly were and so, they hide their weaknesses and pretend that everything is fine, which is almost never the case. she had done it before, lindsay had done it her whole life. she tried not to blame her, she did, but.. there had to be someone to blame. and sam was just mad, so mad, that.. lindsay seemed like the right one to blame. perhaps she was making a mistake. perhaps she was losing her best friend - but then again, she was already dead. there wasn’t much to lose when that happened. “i mean, we all know you only care about yourself, so that’s not much of a surprise. did you even go to my funeral, linds, or were you too busy making out with whatever boy toy you had manipulated at the time?” she doesn’t know if there was a funeral - she doesn’t even know if she did die, but according to lindsay.. she did and somehow, that managed to make sam even more angry. “and whose fault was that, uh? i had to save juliet. it had.. it had to be me. if that’s what happened, i don’t regret it. she deserved to be saved.”  she did and yet, not at the cost of her own life. sam wanted to see her sister grow up, sam wanted to go to college, sam wanted.. sam wanted to live. it was lindsay’s fault she didn’t.. wasn’t it?  she moved in closer to the other, angry eyes never leaving her own. “your fault. if you hadn’t been a bitch to juliet, if you hadn’t blamed her for something you did.. perhaps i wouldn’t be the one paying for your mistake. did you ever think about that, lindsay? if you hadn’t pointed that finger at juliet sykes all those years ago, your best friend might have lived.” it was terrible - how everything was connected; how one bad thing you did years ago might come back to haunt you later on, but.. it was just the truth. life was a bitch.

   “ WOW. ” she doesn’t want to cry, she’s promising herself she won’t. but her teeth are grinding and her eyes are already becoming glassy and she has to remind herself she’s lindsay edgecombe. with absolutely no exceptions. not even for her best friend ( not even for the girl she’s spent countless nights wishing would just hold her. ) “ i didn’t think i’d ever feel worse than i did then. at your funeral. ” please come back. please hold me. you’re right there and i’m so cold and i’ve missed you so much. “ guess you just proved me wrong. ” she doesn’t know which part hurts the most, until sam suggests her death was her fault. she feels sick to her stomach, and she doesn’t want to do this anymore. she wants this to be over as quickly as it started because she can’t take sam looking at her like that after all this time. “ i don’t know what your problem is with me. ” a hard swallow, and she scolds herself because she’s better than this. “ but i’m not talking about juliet. and i’m not letting you walk around as my best friend when i have to hold onto the memory of her saying i’ll love you no matter what everyday. ” her hands ball up, and she’s stone cold sober. she was tipsy when they started this, and now she’s fairly certain all the alcohol has faded out of her sister. “ you’re not her. and if you’re going to torture me because ... ” she doesn’t even know what to call it. the sentence trails off. “ if you’re out to hurt someone, samuel, then find someone like rob. ” a shake of her head, dejected but trying to be angry. “ because i won’t do this. ”

thxrofthcnder‌:

@hpemikaelson​ - rob cokran.

                   sam was lost. it was ironic, really, how one person who had her life in the right place for so long - the right friends, the right grades, the right way to dress and now.. now, she didn’t even care about what to dress and what to eat. she just cared about living and making the most out of her second chance. this time, she was not going to put anyone before her. this time, it would be her first - now and always. still, whenever she thought of lindsay’s pained face after their fight, it made her wish she was still dead.   making her way towards the dorm after a very, very, long day, sam noticed a very familiar face standing nearby, one that made her heart stop for a moment. not the way it used to - not the way it should happen when you’re truly in love with someone, but.. if what she felt for rob wasn’t love then.. she didn’t know what love is. she didn’t know if she’d ever be able able of feeling it. but still, deep down, there was a part of her that cared for rob. a part of her that could still see them finding a way to make it work - because.. this was all she ever knew. she was afraid of taking the jump, of doing something she’d regret eventually.   “  rob?   ” she called out, walking over to him, before bringing him into a kiss. this was supposed to feel right, so.. why didn’t it? why did she keep thinking about lindsay? “thank god you’re here, i.. when did you get here?” did he knew she had died? did he care?

  ROB’S life was going pretty well for him. he hadn’t necessarily maintained the popularity he had in high school, but if he were a betting man, he would say a few parties into the season he’d become a household name again. the bigger the stage, the louder the show - surely. ( although the audience for this particular show did seem strange. not his kind of people. ) he’s doing something so mundane when she calls out to him. walking home from work, paying attention to some vague conversation he hears around him, when she comes running up. “ SAM? ” he hadn’t expected her to be here, but he was glad she was. ( he didn’t love her, he had to be honest about that much. but he was fond of her, and he thought she was cute, and her whole group of friends seemed to approve. so win, win, win. ) leaning down into the kiss she draws him into quickly, hands planting on the small of her back. “ a couple of weeks ago. i heard you were out of state or something. ” hands move over her spine, pressing her closer. “ nice to see you though. you look good. ” checking her out with absolutely no shame, hands settled.