"I NEED TO DROP PUNT KICK O'HARE LIKE A FOOTBALL"

"The Onceler in pajamas is fine."

"Onceler should have his own show he’s a star"

"i forgive the onceler for what he's done"

"i was like 7 when the lorax came out and i somehow misheard "aloysius" as "delicious" so i paraded around calling him delicious o'hare until i was 11"

i is there gonna be 2023 confessions

Yes, sorry for the hiatus. Oncelerism may hibernate but it will never die.

“i remember watching the lorax in theaters and laughing SUPER hard at that one scene where o'hare briefly sings about killing the tree. i wasnt aware of the onceler's online presence at the time because i was like, 10, so for years i thought of the lorax as "the shrivel up and die movie"”

“i love the scene where the onceler wakes up with the lorax in his bed, who says “we found one of your socks by the river last night and came here to return it!” because the onceler wasn’t wearing socks at all for that whole ordeal. which means either the lorax was just lying as an excuse to sleep in his tent or the onceler had an unrelated reason to leave socks by the river.”

“what if the lorax had a gun”

“i want to take the fat barbaloot to a five-course dinner”

“I had a dream the old once-ler was in family guy and told peter to not fucking chop down trees for a long cabin because that ain't cool, peter said okay then the next scene he makes a log cabin and the once-lers body is on the ground”

“instead of 1972 onceler or whatever we should call him the gloveler. hes just gloves”

“The Once-ler is a slut, and I think that's very cool of him.”

“rip grammy norma you would've loved that's our lamp by mitski”

“the women of “the lorax” are so strong and beautiful and they mean everything to me“

“i think that the onceler should've been MORE EVIL and he should've served MORE CUNT. GIVE HIM THIGH HIGH STILLETO BOOTS YOU COWARDS AT ILLUMINATION”

“I was in school one day and I was carrying my onceler body pillow when some guy came up to me and said “What’s with the lame ass pillow?”. So I said “I’m gonna thneed you to back up pal”, and then he beat the crap out of me. I was on the floor when I heard Onceler’s Voice say to me “How B-a-a-ad can you be?” And that motivated me to get up and say “I’m gonna wipe the floor-ax with you!” And then the bully turned around and hit me and I woke up in a hospital.”