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gotham-exclusive · 11 months
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someone stop me from writing a lawyer au istg
edit: i will now apparently be writing a lawyer au. i've screenshotted the blogs who asked me to tag yall when i write it so uh. yeah. might be a while tho
edit 2: everyone who reblogged this is fake for not telling me i misspelled lawyer 😭
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gotham-exclusive · 11 months
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Jason: *sneaks into titans tower to kick some robin ass*
Tim: *hurt/crying/sleeping/sick/etc*
*all Ao3 writers collectively* Jason:
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gotham-exclusive · 11 months
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I think it'd be hilarious if Tim really was Damian's favorite brother and he went about showing it in the most homicidal way possible.
Dick: Why would you stab Tim!
Damian: Joker can't hurt Drake tonight if he's already in the med bay
Dick: You could've severed an artery! You could have killed him! Paralyzed him!
Damian: Look at me, Grayson. Do I look like the kind of child assassin to accidentally kill someone? But now that you mention it, if he's paralyzed he'll be safe at home. Not out endangering himself by making enemies by breathing wrong or however he does it
Tim: Guys I'm right here! And I'm already designing a mech in case you try paralyzing me. With blasters and Bluetooth.
Damian: Dammit! That's so cool!
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gotham-exclusive · 11 months
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Batman may be a vital, irreplaceable founding member of the Justice League, but he will absolutely ditch all the meetings to spend time with his children. He's got his priorities straight. Somebody merely implies he could possibly reschedule a day at the zoo with Dick and he immediately threatens to stop funding the Watchtower
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gotham-exclusive · 11 months
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i just think that jason is the most unreliable narrator ever especially when talking about his robin years
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gotham-exclusive · 1 year
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Did harley go back to joker before/after Jason died?
Was she with joker (romantically or physically) when Jason was killed?
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he was the ex she never got over, at least until jason’s death
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gotham-exclusive · 1 year
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gotham-exclusive · 1 year
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Bruce: Listen, Clark, could I stay at your place next weekend?
Clark: Uh, yeah, of course. Is everything okay?
Bruce: It’s going to be April 1st.
Clark, with dawning realization: Ah.
Bruce: Exactly.
Clark: Is this an escape or a plot?
Bruce: It’s a tactical retreat to allow for strategic planning and implementation.
Clark: Both then. Got it.
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gotham-exclusive · 1 year
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Steph: Have you ever fallen in love?
Tim, nearly in tears: I can’t even fall asleep
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gotham-exclusive · 1 year
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tim: i would rather have a concussion than wear that thing but whatever u say man
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gotham-exclusive · 1 year
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batboys are literally just like: *watches their older brother lie, manipulate, and keep secrets from his team* oh my god... i'd never do that... he's so much like bruce...... *goes off to lie, manipulate, and keep secrets from his own team*
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gotham-exclusive · 1 year
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Tim: I love to dismiss my horrible decisions by saying "yeah that was a weird time in my life" as if the rest of my existence hasn't been absolute clown shoes.
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gotham-exclusive · 1 year
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au where Jason stays with Talia and Damian after being resurrected because he’s gone slightly insane and wants to commit murder and Talia is having none of that, nope, gonna convince child to stay at my side until the Pit wears off, Ra’s be damned.
fast forward a few years, Jason has mostly chilled out, though is still down to murder criminals. He spends most of his time annoying the hell out of Ra’s and sometimes running missions behind Ra’s back for Talia. He’s basically Damian’s older brother. Probably goes by either Jay or Jace, but Damian at least is aware that his full name is Jason since he’s heard Talia use it. Jason has thought about letting the bats know he’s alive, but always backed out.
then Talia sends Damian to live with Bruce. Jason is often away on his own by this point, for missions or just because he wants to travel, and isn’t there when this happens. 
now, Damian is an absolutely brat, and everyone immediately is like “WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS.” they’re going through the house and Damian is making snotty comments about everything when suddenly he freezes, surprising everyone. He squints at a portrait on the wall.
“…who’s that?” he asks slowly.
Bruce stiffens.
“Ah, that’s… Jason. Jason Todd. The second Robin. He… died, a while ago,” Richard explains with a sad, faraway smile.
“…..riiiiiiight,” Damian says slowly. Suddenly a whole lot of things make sense – he knows Jay came back from the dead, but he doesn’t know how Jay and Mother knew each other. “If you’ll excuse me. I need to make a phone call.”
He sprints out of the room.
(Talia, for the record, definitely knew this was going to happen when she sent Damian to Bruce.)
Two weeks later Damian tows a reluctant young man with black hair into the Batcave, trailed by an astonished Alfred.
“Damian!” Bruce says, horrified. “You can’t just bring strangers into the Cave! It’s completely irresponsible, do you have any ideas what the consequences could be for us-”
There’s a crash, and they all turn to stare. Dick is staring at Damian and the newcomer, his chair lying sideways on the ground, stunned. “That’s impossible,” he murmurs, voice shaking. “You’re –”
Damian rolls his eyes. “Jace isn’t a stranger, Father. He’s my brother.”
“Brother-?” Bruce turns to look at the man, and promptly drops the files he’s holding.
Jason Todd smiles nervously at him. “Hey, old man. Long time no see.”
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gotham-exclusive · 1 year
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Jason: who traumatized you?
Dick: do you you want a list?
Jason:
Jason with his guns out: ya actually
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gotham-exclusive · 1 year
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one thing I love about the young justice cartoon is that sometimes Bart drops his happy go lucky personality for a few seconds and he falls back into his more jaded personality
And we get beautiful moments like this where Bart becomes the physical embodiment of ‘???Bitch???’
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gotham-exclusive · 1 year
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I'm obsessed with how in any given universe dick and wally are close friends or at least allies and then teen titans go is like
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gotham-exclusive · 1 year
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Dick: Just don’t accidentally kill someone
Damian: Richard, I’m not an idiot
Damian:
Damian: I know how to kill people on purpose
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