i hope i never ever ever see this image while im high or it will also straight up kill me. it would make me so scared my skeleton would run away And id be a boneless scared heap on the ground

Abed Nadir for @plasticdodecagon! 🍉

make a donation towards palestine and get a drawing from me :]

Hey Warner bros, I think I can save you about fifty million dollars.

by talos this can’t be happening is a mandela effect because the actual phrase is by the gods this can’t be happening and i’ve never heard anyone say the former in game

character in a movie: Oh no, angry dog, please don’t bite me!

the dog: I’m at work! I’m doing so good at being at work! I’m barking because my handler gave the sign ‘bark’! I am going to get such a good grade in being a dog actor, which is completely possible to achieve, and normal to want! I am doing a great job! I am proud of myself for doing such a great job! I love this, because I’d make it physically impossible to get anything done if I wasn’t enjoying it! I’m barking!

steve rogers on his 5th bowl @ 3:54 am on the balcony of avengers tower: guys did u k. did u kno they called her Peggy bec

natasha: what

steve: B. 😂😂😂BEcause She

tony with the straightest face: because she what steve

steve:

tony: why did they call her peggy steve

me as a child: this "$4.99" sales stuff is idiotic, anyone can instantly round this up to $5 in their mind, no one is falling for this

me as an adult: oh wow only $4 (with some additional numbers behind it), that's great because if it was a single dollar more that would have been the last straw for me in my miserable life

Owning a cat is such a funny concept. You can just go "hello, I would like to have my house haunted by a strange little man who will not speak in words, but may sometimes make demands communicated through mysterious riddles composed of knocking things over and petty thefts, and stares at me like an idiot for not understanding why it was necessary to shove all my socks inside the couch", and just make it happen. You get yourself a little house ghoul and for the next 12 years you know exactly what went klonk in the night.

you know what's fucked up? they can't hijack TV signals anymore. people used to hijack TV signals. one second you're watching doctor who. the next - BAM! - a guy in a max headroom mask getting swatted on the ass. it was a better time

I wish people understood that "folk magic" isn't just another homogenous flavor or type of magic, it's literally unique and different depending upon where you are in the world. Every culture and belief system will have folk magic and practices. They aren't 1:1. Some will have similar or overlapping elements, sure, but they're unique to where they come from and who they're practiced by, to the degree that two different individuals in the same area from the same culture could have completely different practices and methods. Often they lack larger structures and systems.

actors love to make their characters subtextually gay not just because they’re a little gay themselves though that often is the case but rather because having a secret is like energy drink to acting, and being gay is the easiest most obvious secret. whenever you’re unsure of your character’s motivations consider: maybe they are gay? see where that takes you. should be pretty far

nothing makes me feel more well adjusted than hearing about the problems that straight people in the periphery of my life are always having