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gloriagoeson · 1 year
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2023.1.7-1.8
Felt not like working. And my period began just at the right time, which excused me for my playing around perfectly. By the way, how can I know at least once without a pair of dirty pants? Every time I don’t confirm its coming until I feel some flow under there, which means too late that it has already started, and go to the bathroom to find blood stains on my pants. Period is so annoying.
Dived in Bilibili watching videos whole day. Made a lot of turns from football to deepfakes of football stars, Guo&Long cp cuts of Condor Heroes (Ren Xianqi), and fixed on Li&Fan cp cuts of New Tale of A Lang. Once again after about a year or longer I dwelt on the pair. Not knowing the whole story didn’t influence me of understanding their parts and feelings. Nice performance with good-looking faces and fit bodies pleasured me. But there was a defect in their relationship, too many troubles and too little sweetness. I wasn’t satisfied at all. Even became more starved. So I rewound their cuts of the show “Let’s go! Love!” next day.
During cooking and digesting period after eating, I added dancing as daily exercise. Quite a smart idea, I dare say. Made my moves to music out of intuitions. I was sure that there were imitations of dancing videos I had watched before, and more creations combining tango, aerobic moves and gymnastics. I felt my control over my body, saw the beauty reflected in the mirror, and was happy and excited in the rhythms. I will keep it as my habit, something I definitely look forward to.
Never will I have sweet and salty foods together anymore. The Dongbei sticky pea buns and pork pickles stuffed bun made me sick for hours. It only got better when I had fried shrimps for supper. Well, I had same experience back to college years. Should have learned the lesson. Nevertheless, I still have conflicted flavors at a meal many times since. No harm done until today. I think it’s the temperature that also matters. Cooled dishes in sweet and salty at one time are dooms for the stomach.
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gloriagoeson · 1 year
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2023.1.6
Cardboard box day! Got up early to pack the containers accumulated for the last two years. Tore them open, spread layer by layer, and bundled up tightly. Not a hard labor, but sweated a little by the end. Another chore of throwing out the unwanted is done. Along with the new year’s coming, consciously, or unconsciously, I am carrying on lightening the luggage for the near departure. An easy deed for me, actually. Things have already been put aside. Although I’m not a hoarder, there have been quite a number to discard because I was too lazy to rise early on certain recycling day. What I have to do is merely check if I miss some and give them a final nice binding. I must say the living room looks twice larger in its volume despite the actual small area of 8m2.
After reviewing the IELTS mock test, I watched a movie, Mary Poppins (1964). As a matter of fact, I was turned on by a clip of the newer one. Choosing the old version is probably due to my preference of classical musical style. It’s outstanding and extraordinary. Not any less than today’s special effects by computer. Marvelous painting. Nevertheless, I really had something to argue about characters, like gender stereotype, limited criticisms in a fantasy comedy, and so on. If not for that I was waiting for a parcel and worried about the interruption, I would have gone to my warm bed and elaborate on what I had in mind happily and fully. Instead, I stayed at the floor and opened the book The Silence of the Lambs (Chinese edition) lying on my digital bookshelf for a long time. I read it before, years ago. Though not finished. I couldn’t remember the slightest piece of its plot. So I started over from the beginning. Phew! Was I not used to Chinese reading, or was the translation weird? I just couldn’t get along with it. A rare scene of my reading. I scanned comments on Douban and found that many criticized the peculiar and strange translation. Great relief. Turned to English version without hesitation. This time, smoothly and enjoyably.
By the way, the parcel eventually arrived when I began to doze and gave up waiting and prepared to wash for sleeping.
A good thing to share. No more night heats and perspiration. It does work to follow an early bedtime routine with some daily exercise.
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gloriagoeson · 1 year
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2023.1.5
Wrong food choices for the breakfast. Fried dumplings, shellfishes, and noodles, a combination of heavy fat and conflicting flavors, made me sick and ruined the day. I felt uncomfortable and wasn’t in the right mood to take the IELTS tests. Instead, I read for a few hours and watched two or three episodes of Hot In Cleveland. They didn’t require as much concentration as the IELTS did. Still, I wasn’t back to my normal spiritual state. Or worse when I had boiled noodles with tomatoes and sausages, they were like fighting each other in my mouth, and made me want them all to get out. But I didn’t, because it’s been 8 hours since the last meal and I must take something, so I swallowed them down ignoring the little flavor battles. Not long after the hard eating part, I went to bed early to get away from the terrible feelings I had after rising. Thank goodness, it did refresh me like resetting.
Never again will I have heavy fat or seafood of strong flavor as my breakfast.
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gloriagoeson · 1 year
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2023.1.4
One thing forgotten to mention last day was that I was recommended quite some books about linguistics while listening to a podcast of annual book list review of 2022. Due to my multilingual life experiences and growing interests in differences and similarities amongst languages during language learning and using, it’s natural for me to be attracted to books discussing translations, fixed usages based on various cultures, and metaphors reflecting the material world. I’ll never get bored about languages, since they are forever changing over time and keep secrets and genes of thoughts and cultures deep down in their cores.
Fried pork slices bought yesterday. Yummy.
Felt better after revising the IELTS mock test answers. Most of the errors could be avoided if I calmed down and focused on details. The errors were made not because I wasn’t capable, but I spent too much time at the beginning or on some questions, and was disturbed later by time limits. I could improve by pay attention to time distribution and adjust to a steady attitude quickly when encounter confusing questions.
Went to grocery shopping. Bought pre-seasoned hamburger beef for one more try of beef cooking. Saw sliced beef, and gonna buy it next time. Got a bouquet as the decoration of the living room and also a beautiful start of new year.
Watched the 12/13 season UEFA final on the break. But got sleepy by the end. So easy to feel tired and exhausted recently, which I take as a good sign, because I can use the chance to shift my daily timetable to a normal one, early to bed and early to rise.
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gloriagoeson · 1 year
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2023.1.3
Watched the deepfake video of Kaka and C. R. of Myth I-don’t-know-which time. And it raised my interests of the BGM, Beautiful Myth. I sang it on Karaoke King and got a high score, leveled SSS. Even my emotional performance, which was often on the average line, was graded as excellent. Speculate that the video awakened and helped magnify my feelings for the song.
Since I gradually got back to working timetable, found nothing but Hot in Cleveland the best for watching over eating. It’s light, relaxing and entertaining. And there are 3 seasons to be watched, which means about one month to go. Moreover, it could be counted into English listening practice. Killing three birds with one stone.
The IELTS mock tests didn’t go well. Except for listening, other two made me in a hurry at the last moment. As a matter of fact, I had thought that listening was not good either, at least wouldn’t be better than last time due to a blank I left untouched. But to my surprise, it was banded to 7.5. It comforted me to some degree.
Got dressed delicately for going out after the shower. Put my rose embroidered dark blue blouse on a black close-fitting sweater. It’s a fashion I learned from a show recently. And it worked for me.
Went to supermarket for grocery shopping, but only to find it closed for new year holiday and not open till tomorrow. Took it well without frustration or other negative feelings. Actually, I enjoyed the rare walk and was glad to make it longer by going to Lawson on the other end. Life free from tight time and strict plans enables me to embrace the unpredictability.
Like the day before yesterday, IELTS made me tired easily. At the halfway of ELSA IELTS Band 7 lessons, I got easily unfocused and couldn’t have insights like yesterday. Not long after I finished part 2 topics, I went to sleep at 10pm, leaving today’s diary and speaking test undone.
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gloriagoeson · 1 year
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2023.1.2
Got up early at 5 am with much sweat again. I don’t know why, but it doesn’t show any other side effects. If it keeps happening next few days, I will take it seriously and do some researches online to decide whether it’s necessary to see a doctor.
Logged on Douban, and ran into a post of digests from Veil by Maugham. One digest was what the respectable nun told Katie about the value of beauty, which motivated me to sort out my digests of the back half story in which Katie awakened and finished her nirvana by getting rid of the toxic love, establishing her desire for freedom, and making her mind to raise her baby girl to an independent, self-satisfied and free spirit. I admit that I was also doing it on purpose as a counterpart to the prevailing paragraph some people are so ecstatic about, which is what Katie’s husband said about his steady and strong love for her no matter how she seemed stupid, shallow, flirtatious, or even not worth. I say, come on! Nobody can love in this way in a relationship. And even there is, it won’t last long. Unconditional and forever love of a man is merely possible in fictions. Besides, even in Veil, he doesn’t love as much as he says for that he actually forced her to come with him to the epidemic area and wanted her to die. Maybe he likes her, but he hates her to death, too. And I doubt what he loves about her. Considering all the shortcomings he lists in his speech, I feel that he sees nothing good but beauty in her. Well, beauty will fade, and the love based merely on good-looking is not persuasive.
Reviewed test results with references to explanations. Could do with believing in first instincts in listening and being more careful about spellings in writing. Nothing could be done to improve my reading. I have done my best and get a nice score. The writing score online evaluator, Aim Writing, was a complete surprise. I tried googling AI evaluator for IELTS writings. And then there it was ranked No.1 on Zhihu Q&A. Without much hope, I pasted the one of task1, and the result was given back quickly with corrections and suggestions in details. Like winning the jackpot, the tool provided way more than I expected. On the other hand, I wasn’t in the same luck of speaking evaluator. Nothing available. But I found a speaking practicing app, ELSA Speak. It offered IELTS band-7 conversations of general topics, and scored audios in pronunciations, intonations, fluency and word stressing. Suited my requirements very well. It helped me discover a mistake I’ve never noticed before. The pronunciation of dg as the d of schedule. Without its judgement, I might never know till some native speaker point out. I got encouraged and excited, and was looking forward to more surprises it would make in the future exercising.
Learning and practicing made me easy to be hungry. No more than 4 hours after I took my breakfast, I ordered a spicy hot pot as a treat for my hardworking. Delicious perhaps, it somehow made me sick due to the not so warm heavy fat. So I took a rest from about 7pm, hoping to refresh myself. An hour was enough, though I got up and found it’s already 11pm. Sigh, a long way to back to normal daily timetable.
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gloriagoeson · 1 year
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2023.1.1
One thing forgotten to mention yesterday was that I was solaced by a passer-by on Sosad.fun. It began with the post about Andor several days ago. I added a comment showing my political depression. And here she came with her solacing with encouragement and sympathy. At last, she recommended the book Life As Politics, and even shared with me the mirror website link of Z Library after knowing I couldn’t find available access. How nice, kind and generous she was. God bless her and wish her luck and happy.
Clicked the new year banner of Google, and jumped into its art and culture division, then got attracted to its games like puzzles, music shooting. Enjoyed a full hour of fun before going to sleep. Bookmarked it for leisure.
Chatted with my parents and my sister in a row at morning. And continued the video chat with ma at evening. Very happy!
I took IELTS mock tests of four parts. Reading scored 7.5, which was within my expectation, while listening scored 6.5 little less of what I thought it could be. What surprised me was that I finished the reading and writing parts within time limits. Well, I thought practicing more in speaking tests was of first priority.
Learning and testing were truly exhausting. After supper, I started feeling sleepy during listening to intro of the course Rome and Ethan Myths. It lasted longer to my chat with ma, while there were times I got excited at funny snapshots taken of ma. Now I’m dozing off every three sentences during the writing. Effortlessly, I’m back on normal daily timetable as a good side effect of testing.
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gloriagoeson · 1 year
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2022.12.31
A big day! A day of review! Made and uploaded my videos divided into two parts. One was about aesthetic consisting of paintings, photographs, and other artworks. One was a collection of memes I found interesting, humorous and sarcastic. By the way, Bilibili service was so terrible that I spent more than an hour to get my aesthetic one uploaded. I think it’s due to the large data flow of last day, but still it sucks when a network company can’t handle heavy access requests since it should have done better in its profession.
Got immersed in deepfake videos using faces of Kaka and C. Ronaldo. Kaka’s face was perfectly fitting in actresses western or eastern. The best ones were in Qiuxiang played by Gong Li and the Queen played by Zhu Lin. They’re graceful, delicate, breathtaking and fantastic. Cristiano must have an Asian lineage. He doesn’t look exotic at all on Chinese faces. Another fun I noticed was that deepfake videos could help judge whether the original performance was good or not. Free from the preference or discrimination of players, when we watch fake videos, we pay more attention to their expressions both on face and in eyes. We can totally see through if the emotions and feelings are true and persuasive or shallow and plain. The worst ones are Cheng Long and Leonardo.
Felt sleepy at 4pm after a chat with my friends, and set a timer of an hour to wake me up. Planned to order sweets and skewered foods, and eat them over watching new year’s concert held by Jiangsu TV. But I slept over, and didn’t wake up till 11pm. Didn’t regret about the concert when I say many people speak low of it. However, the sweets were quite a miss. And I was starving, because the last meal was the breakfast I had 12 hours ago. Cooked a quick supper of instant noodles. Felt saved the moment I took the first bite. Again, stock some sweets at home and keep adequate supplies.
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gloriagoeson · 1 year
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2022.12.30
Disposed my old clothes at the collecting place. Took a shower and cleaned my hair. Swept the floor. Changed my sheet and quilt cover. All in all, to welcome new year, got rid of the old and made everything in the house fresh and new. Well, the water basin isn’t done yet. Leave it tomorrow.
Andor recommended by Cyber Pink interested me. I’d like to see whether it’s as good as what they said in the way it showed totalitarianism. Furthermore, I’m in desperate need of strength, courage, hope and guidance from resistant role models against the dictator.
Used snapshot filters and got two clips of emulated ages. One was rendered to a little me around 3 years old, the other an ancient lady in 70s. Naturally, I like the first one, because it’s cute and adorable. As for the latter, I don’t hate it or feel something negative. As soon as I saw the processed elder me, the first thing I noticed was not the flabby and drooping face, age-spots or gray hair, but the amiable and sophisticated character owing to aging. However, I couldn’t ignore what time magic have done. It’s alright that one day I’ll look like it, but not now. Gratefully, I’m in my 30s, and many years away from my 70s, which means a lot of time to go gently into a senior. And I was reminded that I should cherish the moment more and enjoy and make full use of the youth. Let’s cheer up and turn to an interesting viewpoint. I think it might be fun to share the two videos with my mom to see her opinion about them.
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gloriagoeson · 1 year
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2022.12.29
Yesterday’s paper cut didn’t heal as I expected. I’ve been paper cut before, but none could be near this one so deep and even taking some flesh off. After I woke up in noon and tore off the bandage, I found it keep unfolding. Although not as open as one night before. When water flew over the cut, it stung. As a result, I carefully treated my right hand, especially the wounded little finger. Avoided any chance of nearing water. Used the left hand to do main work, which honestly wasn’t easy, and the right hand helped when it’s necessary. Thankfully, it recovered overnight.
One thing I forgot to mention is that yesterday during the house cleaning I found a snack package of cranberries from a box. However, no way to be happy, because it’s long expired since June of last year. I don’t know how could I leave it there and not remember it at all.
Made a yummy cuisine again. Stewed fish and tofu with hotpot seasoning. Spicy and hot, which means a feast for me.
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Watched S3E6 of All Creatures G&S, the last episode. The series are so warmhearted that I don’t want them to end. 10 episodes for a season would be nice. Anyway, the season was under the cloud of a possible war, which was known as WW2 afterwards. The background is similar to what we’re going through now with war between Russia and Ukraine and tensions between Serbia and Kosovo. European conflicts all over again. The only thing we learn from history is that statesmen learn nothing. Of all the possibilities, they resort to the simplest but most dangerous way, a war. I think there are two reasons they choose war as a resolution. One is that they’re stupid and short-sighted. The other is that as men they instinctively are selfish animals considering no side effects to others, and tend to destroy to show their power and win influence. Lucky for them sitting behind the scene safely and well served, not like hundreds of thousands marching toward the battlefield and risking their lives, also not like those working damn hard to support the military and keep the country going. And for women, above all these one more task is to give birth and breed in such a tough shitty world. What a nonsense!
Done with the annual review! 4500+ words. A magnificent piece. Really need use some rest and bonus. A piece of cake will do, I think.
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gloriagoeson · 1 year
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2022.12.28
Cooked my first steak properly! Not bad! Eatable, or I dare say tasty approximately! For all the past times I’ve been cooked the wrong way of beef I bought from supermarket. No doubt that they turned out failures after traditional Chinese cooking ways like frying, stewing and pan-broiling. As for steak, the only way to make it delicious is to fry it without anything but salt spayed on. How could I never remember to check the beef type before cooking. This time thanked to online stranger who was kind to answer my post about how to make beef dish and remind me of reading the introduction on the cover.
First time in a month to do laundry outside. And I wore the mask for the sake of my health. Unlike in the past months that I didn’t bother wearing a mask in the sharing yard as no one showed up or coughed while I was out, these days my neighbors coughed out loud near my windowsill during the day or at dawn, which worried me a lot. No better way to protect myself except for closing windows tightly, or opening them with curtains shut when I had to use the sharing yard. As long as I cut off from the external environment and keep minimal exchange with it, I can survive longer in COVID-19 negative status. It’s a belief I hang on to comfort and support myself.
Think I’d gradually get over the football fever after the end of World Cup 2022, but it seems I’m wrong. Still couldn’t resist football clip recommendations, clicked on them and watched in a row before I found hours had passed and it’s late for dinner. Actually, I’ve tried to watch some films to suppress the football itches, yet there’s none competent. Maybe I just wait till new year by when I’ll start the IELTS exercises, so my time and attention will be concentrated on study, therefore no space for football clips watching. Hope so. In fact, I’ve bookmarked two courses uploaded by Coursera to continue my English listening training as well as learn about western history and culture. I could use them to fill the blank when I try to put out the football fever.
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gloriagoeson · 1 year
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2022.12.27
Hard to retrospect what’s been done the whole day. Maybe it’s due to I’m aged. Hhh.
Foremost, I wrote a monthly memoir on what I’d done during these days. It’s up to 5000 words. Stunning, bravo, or whatever such like adjectives used to it, all would be fine. As a successor to it is the one I’m writing. From now on, the diary tradition is back.
Other achievement I made was completing the Coursera lesson Feminism and Social Justice by Bettina Aptheker. Honestly, I was a little disappointed, as it’s more about basic conceptions and historical facts rather than advanced theory and intriguing deep thoughts. Well, there is some credit to it speaking of English listening. And a nice sleeping assistant, except for while the professor was clearing her throat.
Goddamn neighbor coughed loudly again! And I was awakened again! God curse him and wish him all the worst! Amen!
Watched S3E5 of All Creatures Great and Small! Couldn’t avoid crying one more time. The delicate and complex bond between Mrs. Hal and her son Edward is touching and regretful. However, in addition to family intimacy scenes, I still felt uncomfortable with how the series depicted Mrs. Hal, Mr Siegfried and their roles in the family. Mrs. Hal, the housekeeper, did all housework like cooking, cleaning, picking phones. Yeah, I know they’re what a housekeeper ought to do. But apparently she was working all the time, longer than any of the male characters in the house. There were gaps for her to take Jesse out for a walk. But those were disproportionate compared to her working hours. With the emotional comfort and communication helps she provided, she was like a mom, and a quite good one with wisdom and love. At the same time, Mr Siegfried was the kind of typical working father who earned the bread and was bad at expressing love. He was trying to improve, but easy to be ignited. While he showed gratitude to Mrs Hal’s work and value, he did nothing really helpful to lessen her burden like controlling his temper, doing some chores or at least picking the ringing phone right beside him. I understand that some comments find them cute and sweet, but I think we can expect more for a couple mode relationship. Hohoho, feel better to write it down than keep it to myself.
Started with my annual review. Quickest to come up briefs with podcasts. Easy to go through with music and reading. Needed more time to consider and enlarge details of other subjects. Temporarily, I listed sleeping, writing and good things unexpected. I’m sure there must be things I’ve missed. But I’m not in a hurry to catch them at once. I believe they���ll come to me during my writing in coming days before new year.
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gloriagoeson · 2 years
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最近心情的总结分析
第一篇lofter审核未通过,放这里。
第二篇是答一个废文提问,是什么让你对明天抱有一丝期待
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gloriagoeson · 3 years
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哦豁!昨天还在想要是cdt招人,我就去应聘。天赐良机!
✨请将应聘材料均以PDF格式邮寄至[email protected]
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gloriagoeson · 3 years
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指摘上篇的一个前提:国家是否天然正当
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gloriagoeson · 3 years
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gloriagoeson · 3 years
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2019年的发言
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索罗斯对内部寄予厚望,只知其一 不知其二。
儒家思想倡导精英治理、直言上谏,但影响更为广泛的是明哲保身、中庸之道。若非如此,何来犬儒一派?
清明开放,路迢迢,望不断。除非命尽、大厦忽倾之类的偶然事件,理性分析得不出改变向善的可能。
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