Reblog if you're actively working on your healing journey.

I wanna see how many are out here.

I’m alive simply because I don’t want my friends to suffer. I don’t want my grandparents to live their last years in sadness, I don’t want my funeral to be an expense, but I truly see no point in being here, I will go to college just because I need to, I will get a job just because I need to, I wake up just because I have to, but I don’t want this anymore

it’s been a while since I last posted here but even if it has been years since I first started this account, the pain isn’t gone. i hope I have a better mom in my next life, I hope my life gets better at some point, I hope I can get out of here, I hope someone loves me

why does my mom get mad at me for going non verbal, why does she force me to hug her when she knows physical contact isn’t something I enjoy, why does she says I’m “aggressive” when I get overwhelmed and start trying to explain my feelings, why does she get mad at me for expressing any other emotion other than happiness, why is it hard for her to understand I want to be in silence, why do I always need to talk and entertain her, why can she cry in from of me but I can’t, why can’t she get a hobby and leave me alone, why can’t she lower her voice if she knows loud sounds hurt me, why can’t she understand she is part of the problem and why can’t she see her abusive relationships are my main source of trauma, why is she so selfish and entitled, why does she compare every single bit of her life to mine, why can’t she get some friends that listen to her instead of using me as a therapist, why do I have to suffer the consequences of her own actions, why can’t she just listen and not look at me disapprovingly, why why why why why why why why why why why. i can’t keep living in this house, i can’t keep living with someone this conceited

I hate my mother so much, it’s insane, every time I start to think hating her is an exaggeration she does or say something to remind me why is she the worst

I told myself I wouldn’t use this blog anymore but I need to vent and I don’t think my friends would want to listen

how I haven’t attempted rn is beyond me lol

I don’t think I have ever been more depressed in my entire life. I thought it was bad a couple of years ago. I really thought it couldn’t get worse but it did. I don’t know who to call, I don’t know who should I ask for help. I just need someone. I don’t want to be here anymore, I don’t have a future. I’m failing school and I feel like I’m losing my friends. I don’t see myself in college. I don’t even see myself alive next month or next week

I dislike my mother so much. I swear I’m just alive simply because I don’t want my grandparents to suffer if I attempt once more

I just want for someone to try and not criticize me when I express my feelings. I want to be held in silence, I want to be comprehended. I don’t even want advice or motivation, I just want to be heard.

“take the car keys and get out of here, I don’t want to see your stupid face right now”

THEN WHY DID YOU FUCKING MADE ME COME HERE HOLY SHIT.

I told my mom I didn’t feel like eating breakfast with my grandparents today and she forced me to. I’m clearly not enjoying it and she got mad… like bitch I TOLD YOU

holy shit I hate my mother so much, she acts understanding but crap, I might as well die for her to actually believe in how much pain I am

I deserve to be broken up with tbh

god I’m such an idiot istg

I can’t believe I just fucked up my relationship with one text

im a failure of a daughter

im a failure of a sister

im a failure of a partner

im a failure of a friend

im a failure of a student

im worthless

Com certeza🤒