Love and Thanks

Sorry, just have to start with that I have “I Was Born in a Laundromat” by Camper Van Beethoven in my head. I never imported all of my cd collection, but I thought Spotify would satisfy. BUT NO! Oh the trials of loving the semi-esoteric music of the 80s and 90s. Ah well. I’ll go back to listening to Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty on repeat (Dude, that song is fucking epic!).

So I haven’t felt too compelled to write lately. I’ve been having some crazy professional woes (take your pick…my actual job, my work with CLA, teaching). I can’t say that that is neither here nor there, because it is. But I think I’ve turned a corner. I’m feeling more determined to do the best with what I have. And what do I have? SO FUCKING MUCH.

First off, a very belated thanks.

If you’ve been reading this regularly, haha, you’ll know I said goodbye to my amazing cat Jack several months ago. In a lovely turn of events, I saw Anna (the amazing library assistant I got to work with temporarily) at a staff meeting and she had a totally unexpected present for me. Her ridiculously talented son, Eliott (that’s right, with two ts and don’t you forget it!) drew this portrait of me and Jack in memoriam because she asked him to. Yes, I cried. What a thoughtful and unprovoked gesture. Um, BTW...Anna could you please please adjust your life to be my assistant?! We could take this island by storm! FOR REALS.

And also. I have never been a children’s librarian. Or in this case, a tween librarian. But you know what? I LOVE my tweens. And I get this in return:

Please do take a moment to make that picture bigger. I am not boasting. I am appreciating. Sometimes the good stuff you put out in the world comes back. In spades. I get so much love every day from these kids. May I never ever take it for granted.

So, life has been throwing me a lot of, well, what’s another word for challenges? That’s the politick way to say it. In truth it’s just a bunch of fucked up shit. And you know what? I have no poker face amidst these...challenges. I was REALLY having a day last Saturday. I am what I call an automatic crier. That means I cannot hold back when the tears come, and they are usually because I am frustrated and/or angry. My sad is a whole different thing. Anywho, I was out and about that Saturday during my lunch hour sans poker face, and people noticed.

I got back to work, lunch in hand (from one of my faves, Cafe Metropole!), and found this note in my to go box. People talked lots of shit about small town life before I moved here, but I have to say, the sense of community is wonderful.

And while I am trying to be thankful, it is useful to try to see my life through the view of others. This is the view from my deck:

When people see that, they say “You are living the life!” Which is true, in many respects. Would that I didn’t have so many feelings about so many things. But I will totally concede: It’s so beautiful here. You fuckers (and I mean YOU) should visit me.

And finally. The deserved star of many a tumblr, my girl. If I were thankful for nothing else (even though I am!), I’d be thankful for my Hope:

This beautiful cat lived in the Catalina Humane Society shelter for 3 years. I am not thinking about that. I am thinking about how much love and thanks I have to give.

Good Things

I’ve had to rewrite this a few times. Yet one more challenge of living on Catalina is the extra shitty internet connection (yes, first world, just imagine!). But whatever. I was moved to finally write because despite my life being filled with unforeseen challenges, both professionally and personally, I know how important gratitude is. And I am thankful. For many things.

This is my new kitty. I should probably say I’m her new human. She came to me from the Catalina Humane Society. She’d been there for three years. She’s a Maine Coon and such a love. She gets the zoomies at about 5am, which I could do without, but it’s probably just because recently I’ve been going to bed pretty early. I’m over most days long before the sun goes down. But that is neither here nor there.

Note that second pic - she fetches! She brings me her toys, hoping for more playing. Such a joy. Not to mention her hardcore headbutting against me when she is ready for pets.

Most importantly, her name is Hope. That’s the name she came with, and it’s staying. It’s perfect.

Another good, no great, thing. Harbison cheese. I recently had the

pleasure of spending a few days with my brother, sister-in-law, niece, nephew and mom. My SIL, Beth, whom I love SO MUCH (good job, bro), sent me home with some cheeses. This is one of them. It’s essentially cheese pudding made wholly of cheese. In the land of good things, it’s hard to get better.

To be very honest, about an hour ago this post was going to be a lot more. But I feel done. Except for THE BEST THING happening tomorrow. A reunion. I get to see these amazing friends. I can’t wait, Kate, Nicole and Chris!

Posse’s on Broadway

Actually, Front Street which isn’t actually Front Street but Crescent Street but everyone calls it Front Street.

So I have avoided doing too many touristy things here, but this past week the library assistant was on vacation, so I got to spend a week with Anna (pictured above) as my assistant. It was a wonderful week, a week I desperately needed, a week that gave me great perspective on my job. Since this blog is not about my job (unless it’s something happy) but living on Catalina (and as you will see, the random things that come out of my fingertips when I sit down to write), I’ll leave that there.

But back to Anna, whom I adore. One thing tourists do here is get Wicky Wacked at Luau Larry’s. That means drink a Wicky Wacker upon which you get a hat. Yes, it’s a thing. Many a tourist can be seen in Avalon in this finery. Anna asked me about it and we decided to go forth before she got on the boat to leave me at the end of the week. So, there we are, on Front Street, Wicky Wacked.

Speaking of posses, it’s happening. I’ve been here long enough to start friendships, and over Jack enough to start appreciating what I’ve got. Speaking of which (now here’s a non sequitur for you)…this pen.

I was going to do a whole post about this pen entitled Paean to a Pen, but upon its death I didn’t feel much like writing. I found this pen when I was training at the West Hollywood Library in January. It’s that kind of pen that automatically makes your handwriting better, makes you want to write. I have been obsessed with it for MONTHS. I have done extensive research online to identify it, to no avail. I have also accosted people about it and sung its praises relentlessly. I can be, um, enthusiastic when I am a fan. So much so, a coworker and I were talking about it last month; she had the same pen but had been similarly unsuccessful in tracking others like it down. This same coworker was in the library this week, and told me she had something for me. This pen:

IT’S THE PEN. In red. With identifying marks. She found them randomly at the 99 Cent Store. I can now go buy a shit ton of them from Amazon or the like. Mystery solved. Extensive writing of lists in an unsuccessful bullet journal shall resume.

P.S. It’s a beautiful day on the isle.

Get Your Epistle On

Yes my new view is beautiful and there is so much to be grateful about in my new life. But that’s not what this post is about.

I got all excited because a very deserving colleague has been working her butt off to make the upcoming Adult Services Symposium (that’s right, ASS) be a success. This is the culmination of a partnership between the California Library Association’s Adult Services Interest Group (me) and California Center for the Book (her). My excitement? Finding a vegan gift basket to send her as thanks. And basically, these folks don’t have it together when it comes to this kind of thing. There are no good reviews of said baskets/companies, and the ones I’ve found are part of super-janky websites. In this day and age? Maybe I’m being too harsh, but fucking get it together. OTOH – if any of you out there are entrepreneurs, here’s a hole that needs to be filled. Maybe I should rephrase that…here’s an opportunity!

Speaking of holes that need to be filled (yup, I said it again), this frustrating search was way too relevant. I’m not going to lie. I am feeling really challenged, both by my job and living in Avalon. I have specifically not made this blog about my woes, but I am universally finding that incompetence, flakiness, and lack of pride in a job well done reign supreme. I am sure this was true in my old life, but perhaps my isolation and sadness about Jack are bringing these issues about in high relief. Or not…

What helps? A little fucking perspective. Which is hard to get, even though I have that word tattooed on my right arm to try to remember. Concretely, what helps is mail. Letters. A reminder of the larger world when I am super tunnel-visioned. So obvi this post is of a different bent than my others but:

Thanks to my mom. I don’t have pix of letters, but you send me packages on the regular. Love you so much. I am so lucky to have you.

Thank you Sarah, for your lovely condolence letter about Jack. It was unexpected, beautiful, and so so needed.

Thank you ChrisGirl. This card already garnered its own post, but I also just noticed that you have the same Wonder Woman stamps that I do! You are the most.

Thank you my most special Rebecois, who also just lost her kitty baby. RIP Zed. You have not only dropped me several postcards, but also wrote me a letter! On several sheets of stationary!

I’m no saint. I wrote my first letter in probably decades only recently. But: PO Box 94 Avalon, CA 90704

I Dug My Cat’s Grave. Literally.

This is a long and crazy story. And I am writing it. But I’m just going to sum up here.

I realized yesterday it was my cat Jack’s time. He’d been on the decline for three months, and he’d stopped eating, was skin and bones. I called the island vet to make an appointment and came to find there are no dead pet services on the island. You either make arrangements with an overtown crematorium or bury your pet in the pet cemetery. Either way, you leave the vet with your animal’s body.

And the burying? Up to you and only you. After a fraught search for a shovel and the realization that there are NO regulations (Registering a plot? Depth of grave? Process for picking spot? Wrapping the body?), I walked to the pet cemetery to dig the grave. Jack’s final appointment was in two hours. Picture this: the town librarian making the ½ mile trek to the pet cemetery, weeping and carrying a shovel.

I found a spot near a tree. Digging in the rocky soil was hard but weirdly cleansing. I had no way to mark Jack’s grave, so I headed to the craft store for something makeshift. And then it was time for Jack’s appointment. I can’t write this without mentioning that Jack was the best kitty I’ve ever had, and I am a crazy cat lady. I am very sad.

Now picture this: the town librarian making the ½ mile trek to the pet cemetery, weeping and carrying her cat’s body in a carrier. I will never be able to adequately describe what it was like to place my dead cat’s body in his grave and cover his curled up body with dirt. I could not bring myself to take a picture, and I’m still glad I didn’t today.

I have to say, death is a part of life and we are so removed from it. With humans and pets, we don’t have to deal with the bodies. In this case, the ritual of it was really kind of healing. And talk about closure. I’m going to be sad about Jack for a long time, but as bizarre and macabre yesterday was, there was also a kind of peace to it, and Jack’s body will be feeding a tree directly.

Walking home I met this fellow. His loud purr and friendliness reminded me so much of Jack.

Fests

Fests just reminded me of feftschrift. Good word. Anyway, people seem to have this idea that there is nothing to do in Avalon. I sincerely beg to differ. There is almost always something to do. The prevalence of activities actually triggers something really negative in me sometimes. There are SO MANY things I should be doing, contacts I should be making, not just as a resident of Avalon, but as the new librarian. My personal expectations are so high that I can basically never reach them. Under that aegis, even though I have only been here for a little under three months, I should KNOW EVERYONE AND DONE ALL THE THINGS BY NOW. Having had little success in silencing that strident voice, I’m just going to try to practice kindness. To myself. Gratitude. For what is. But on to the pix because that’s why you are here (right, Kate?).

Thursday was Spring Fest. Friday and Saturday were the Arts & Crafts Festival. Avalon was hopping!

The library’s table at Spring Fest. I saw so many of the kids who come to my storytimes and over and over people asked me if I was the new librarian and told me how happy they, and Avalon in general, were that I am here. That’s what I should be concentrating on, not my imagined failures!

Planted by the kids from Catalina Kid Ventures, a daycare that I do storytime for. Awesome fundraising idea at Spring Fest!

I bought some basil.

It’s not an island event without ukulele. He played both fests.

These kids are from Ramona High School in Riverside. They all take piano and came over to play during both fests. They were so great, and their teacher, Ms. Barnes, was so supportive and enthusiastic. It warmed my heart to see emphasis on the arts in this day and age of standardized testing. Plus it was glorious to sit in at the library’s table and just listen to live piano. Bonus fact: many of these kids had never been on a boat before and most hadn’t ever been to Catalina.

Spring Fest

And again.

The Cutest Lil Tugboat You Ever Did See

This is Ariel. She is a tugboat. I may not have mentioned this before, but Friends of the Avalon Library (FOL) is made up of the most awesome, generous women. Which is funny, because this FOL was presented to me as yet another reason why Avalon is “special.” Well, we all get along like gangbusters. One member, Alison, invited me to go out on Ariel on Monday and it was amazing. I live in paradise and I love the ocean. Alison is bringing her sailboat to Avalon in a few months and I totally volunteered to be part of her crew. I do have a lot to learn, though. While I had so much fun crawling to the front, I mean bow, of the boat to help us moor, I failed miserably the first time around. There’s a lot going on to make sure a boat doesn’t float away, especially when the moorings are in the water! And the slime line? Appropriately named. Anywho, we spent about three hours going down the coast of Catalina and back. Enjoy!

Heading out!

Frog Rock, obvi.

Hen Rock

The above three pix are of various bays down the coast that now serve as camps but were once probably getaways for the rich and famous.

This is a hole through the rocks which kinda mirrors the shape of Catalina. Alison says every island has something similar.

And ending with just some general gorgeousness. So happy I was brave enough to make this *crazy* life change!

Is it weird that when I go out to smoke and am surrounded by the masses of people congregating for Long Beach Grand Prix I feel lonely but alone in my hotel room I am perfectly content? Signed Morgan Who Thinks Too Much

I am in South Whittier at a meeting. I just noticed this. This is not a tree. I think this is a cell tower? Puts me in mind of Big Yellow Taxi. Sad.

The Clouds Roll In

I get up early. Really early. I mean really, what have I to do? I live on a tiny island and have yet to make bosom friends. Ok, let me take some of that back, because it sounds pathetic. My life is wonderful. I am very good at entertaining myself, have the company of best-cat-ever Jack, and am actually busier than ever. I have tons of extracurricular library-related activities, like serving on or chairing lots of California Library Association committees, am an ardent reader which in and of itself is solitary endeavor, and this town is so small I can’t walk down the street without being greeted. Several times. I’ve actually met some great people; it’s down to me to reach out (Um plus it’s on my friends to visit me…you know who you are!). That said, I must admit that while I LOVE daylight savings (right now it’s 6:39pm and perfectly sunny), I can’t wait for the days to get longer so I can greet the sun when I get up. Today I got up at 5:30am and it was still dark. Anywho, I am up early enough to document the rolling in of clouds. My pictures don’t really capture it, but it is CREEPY. Like a Stephen King novel. You can see those clouds way off overtown and think “Will they make it 26 miles to Catalina? And what then?” In this case, they dissipated by the time they got here. But since I am too lazy to document and write about other, more involved, vagaries (There’s that word again! So appropriate.) of my current life, I hope this will placate you…Kate. Enjoy the time lapsation!

Got this card from my awesome friend Chrisgirl today. It made me giggle hysterically in front the many people who gather at the post office. Coincidentally, I wrote a letter to a friend this morning and ACTUALLY MAILED IT ON THE SAME DAY! I haven't written a letter in years though I constantly aspire to be the kind of person who does. I've been carting around my sealing wax and cat stamp for perhaps decades...they actually got some use today. Hey, if you are reading this, write me a letter! I might just write one back. PO Box 94 Avalon CA 90704. That's not my physical address so it's safe to post, right? Haha we'll see! Living dangerously.

Assembling Chihuly

The Catalina Island Museum is putting on a Chihuly exhibit starting March 25. I think this is an incredible coup, and no doubt the work of the museum’s exceptional Executive Director, Julie Perlin Lee, whom I have the pleasure of knowing (she invited me to my first Rotary meeting here on the island!). Think about the work this took, just in transporting pieces alone. Put on your Catalina Island hat: everything must get shipped here by air or boat. I watched as truckload after truckload of specially packaged glass pieces got delivered to the museum, and as box after box were offloaded by a cadre of volunteers and museum workers. It just so happens my deck affords me a view of the museum, and its courtyard. As a result, I was able to watch a huge piece be reassembled, which I’m sharing with you now:

That last picture was taken this morning...the sun’s not hitting it yet, but you get the idea.

A Departure - Books

Well, I am a librarian, after all...

When I was training for my job as Avalon Library’s Community Library Manager, I was sent hither and yon around Los Angeles County Public Library’s West Region. This generally meant 2-3 hours in the car per day, but that’s a story for another day (namely the reason I never wanted to return to SoCal). As I met different library workers on my travels, I regularly asked for book recommendations. Predictably, I got fabulous ones and have read some really interesting books across several genres in the last several weeks.

Red Sparrow is, essentially, a spy book about an American CIA officer Nate and his Russian asset Domenika (or is she?). Author Jason Matthews is ex-CIA, and the tradecraft he writes about is fascinating and engaging. Especially relevant is that it takes place in present day, so the portrayal of Putin’s Russia adds another dimension of interest. I don’t gravitate towards spy novels normally, but this one - love love love. This is the first book in a trilogy, so there’s more Nate and Domenika out there for you if you like it.

Did you all read Funny in Farsi? I haven’t, but I will now. Firoozeh Dumas’s third book, geared towards a middle-school audience, It Ain’t So Awful, Falafel, is the story of Cindy (nee Zomorod). Cindy is Iranian, but moves to the US because of her father’s job. In some ways, it’s classic fish-out-of water; in this case it’s an 11-year-old outsider landing in Newport Beach, CA, in the late 1970s. The familiarity ends there. What Cindy must endure as an Iranian youth in America is portrayed in both a heartfelt and humorous way. Her trials could absolutely be replicated in modern-day America, which seems to me immeasurably sad, but I’m totes emo like that. Ultimately this is a book about the triumph of kindness, which we need more today than ever.

Oh I love this picture book! It’s gone over like gangbusters in my storytimes. A take on the classic Three Little Pigs, the art is gorgeous and the rhymes, when read aloud, have a magnificent cadence. To beat the wolf in this version, two boy and one girl pig decide to go to ninja school to learn how to fight. What I particularly like is that it is the female pig who perseveres with practice and discipline, and is ultimately the one who brings the wolf down. Ooh, sorry I spoiled the ending. I don’t really believe in spoiler alerts - there are real problems in the world, people.

I love Young Adult literature - it’s so rich. But fantasy is not really my go-to. Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas is changing my mind. Thankfully, it’s the first book in a series, so I am currently slaking this heretofore unknown thirst with the succeeding books. In this one, we are intorduced to Celaena, an assassin of unknown origin who has recently been freed from slavery in a salt mine in order to compete in a contest to become the evil (and I mean EVIL) king’s champion. Needless to say, there is much more going on here, but wow is Celaena a woman to be reckoned with.

These books all, coincidentally, have something in common - girls and women KICKING ASS. Some literally, some figuratively. I’ll never get tired of that theme.

Yesterday Was THE Day

Yesterday was the day when I finally started to feel good, really good, about making this move. It was 50 degrees and very warm in the clear, bright sun. I took a walk to Descanso Beach and befriended my bartender, who was absolutely lovely and gave me lots of advice about living on Catalina Island. I encouraged her to come to the library, of course. The following are pix from my epiphanic day (I really thought it would be epiphanal, but the dictionary says no, although that usually doesn’t stop me).

My view from the bar at Descanso

Descanso Beach

This picture does not do justice to the gradations of color...the water is SO clear here. Every year there is an Avalon Harbor Underwater Cleanup in which divers converge and pick up trash. Underwater! Read about it...if just to see what they found this year.

A gorgeous fucking day. Ack, I had so much more to write about, but I gotta get to work!

Via Casino Way

Here are two views of the casino. Or should I say The Casino. It’s not a casino. It has many functions these days, some of which are housing our one movie theater in which one movie runs for a week, and being a paean to Art Deco. To get there, one must traverse the Via Casino Way. This cracks me up endlessly because this road’s title is from the Department of Redundancy Department.

This is Monkey. When he came into the library a few days ago, I, for some reason, named him Owen in my head. But I went to the island’s vet/humane society (a mere five steps from the library) to inquire about him today and they told me his name. Anyway, look at how comfortable he is on the circ desk!!! I think he is crying out to be Avalon Library’s cat. We shall see...

It’s been raining like a mofo (but not like in San Jose, my former home!!!) here. I certainly didn’t move here for this. But everything is so green and spring is going to be glorious (I remember when season names were capitalized). That is all.

Vagaries and stuff

In a recent job, my boss wanted me to take out the word vagaries from a grant application...to dumb it down. This may or may not have been a reflection of her own understanding of vocabulary. Anywho...

This sign is from the community board at the post office. On Catalina, there is no mail service - everyone needs a P.O. Box and must come to the post office to get their mail. In this day and age of our current president, I find the “To hell with the 1st amendment” particularly funny. Or sad.

Other things I can’t find: dish towels can opener volume 40 developer (I am a bottle blonde, after all) light switch for my outdoor lights which would make current typing easier

But what I can find is the Mayor and the head of the Friends of the Library randomly on the street today. They gave me big hugs. AND Verizon’s finally offering an unlimited data plan so I can use my phone as a hotspot in order to bring you this tumblr. Have I mentioned that internet here is terrible? Thank the internet lords that I can resume my streaming life without (mostly) paying out the nose (what does that actually mean?)

I have happened upon this lovely little Cafe Metropole. The owner is named Megan, and when I met her I said “The bane of my existence is that everyone wants to call me Megan (hella first world problem, I know), and she replied that everyone wants to cal her Morgan. But whatev. The point is, don’t you love the use of butcher paper? Plus the food is delicious.

This was a few nights ago. I googled why my pix came out grainy and it was all about low light. I understand, but jeez, in this day and age, shouldn’t it be easier? So kidding. If I am serious about taking good pictures from my deck, I should maybe get a real camera. Maybe.

In other news without a picture, I get to hang out with an awesome group of tweens who come in to the library after school. Oh my. The drama! Anyway, the other day they asked me if I was married or had a boyfriend. “No,” I replied. “But you’re so pretty,” they said (not gonna lie, that was totally flattering). I had to reply “There is more to life than marriage.” Um, because there is. But it’s a fine line between my own agenda and what society/culture is teaching these kids. Not sure yet what that line is.

To Placate Kate

I don’t know what you are, but Imma gonna find out.

Morning has broken.

On the wall of Ben’s Cafe & Bakery, where I have eaten a few times and spent lots of money on coffee.