ginny-lily
Three points to Hufflepuff! šš¤
Franzi | 25 | she/her | German | Hufflepuff | INFP | writer | bisexual mess | multifandom *follow at your own risk*
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tfw you just wrote the Big Finale of your 500k novel series and you knew what was going to happen but you still cried like a baby
#i don't use tumblr anymore but this somehow feels too personal to post anywhere else#also i still have so much left to write and so many plotholes to fix and also the epilogue#but the Big Thing is done now#fuck i'm gonna miss these characters#mypost
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I made some low quality sfth as text post, so enjoy
#bus and the mysterious cube are underrated plays#they have really good scenes in them#(mainly the ones from this post xD)#sfth
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Oh I realized a thing about the Paul/Feyd-Rautha fight. So usually if you have a big fight scene, but especially if you do something like have a character get injured in a way that would definitely be fatal if they weren't cursed with inescapable Main Character Energy, you follow up the fight scene with some moment of comfort or relief or something, which serves to release the tension for the audience and let them know whew, that was scary, but it's okay now. Your character is hurt but they're gonna survive. (Or alternately, if they're dying heroically, it was worth it and what the narrative demanded.)
But here there's nothing. Paul is surrounded by devoted followers; his mother; his lover; one of his oldest teachers and a loyal servant of House Atreides. No one steps forward to offer a shoulder to lean on or help him to his feet. He's left them all behind. He's not a person who got hurt in a fight anymore; he's a myth that people shrink back from. So he pulls the knife out by himself. He stands up by himself. Other than the emperor very begrudgingly touching his hand to kiss the ring, I don't think anyone touches him at all for the rest of the movie. He's completely alone. They never release that tension, because Paul's alive but it is very much not going to be okay.
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I was reading this shitty horror novella, and one detail that really stuck out to me is that this girl main character (who wore a nightgown throughout) was surprised by her period, and out of shame took off her soiled underwear and hid them. this wasnāt her first period or anything, it just caught her off guard. which, sure, that happens. but she then proceeded to walk around the house underwearless for the rest of the novella. I was reading this likeā¦ā¦ā¦so is she just freebleeding??? is she leaving a trail everywhere she goes? whatās happening here? is the nightgown white? is she bleeding up the place in her white nightgown while everyone else is too polite to comment on it? she has multiple conversations with other people. are they blind? do they not care? is this normal?
after I finished the book I looked up the author, and it was a cis dude. that was a big ohhhh moment. like he just didnāt knowā¦..that he wrote a novella about a freebleeder. he didnāt know that he was creating this insanity-inducing situation with no explanation. but did his editor not know? did nobody who initially read it know? why didnāt they know? whatās happening?
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Owning a black cat is awesome because youāll leave the bathroom and The Shape will be waiting for you
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i love the strange reality of being a human person with a human brain. one time someone said something to me in a foreign language (japanese, which i do not speak) and i automatically responded in a different foreign language (spanish, which i do not speak well) and then we both said "what?" in english, an experience made more surreal by the fact that everyone around us was speaking loudly in canadian french (as this occurred in Quebec)
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instagram
"Both seasons of Lokius"
Freudian slip from Tom! š
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Me: Sorry, I don't want to annoy you, I just need to scream about something real quick
Friend: It's okay! Please info-dump about your hyperfixation!
Me: *info-dumps about hyperfixation*
Two days later:
Friend: Oh my god, I'm now also obsessed
Me: š
#sfth#it's sfth okay#this is a true story#and i'm not even exaggerating it took 2 days#she's picked a favourite and everything#now i just need to wait for her to finish watching all the longforms and we can yell quotes at each other#somebody save us (don't actually we're really happy here)#if you don't know sfth you're missing out btw#mypost
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A Checklist Of Possible Reasons I Am Upset, To Review When I Can't Seem To Figure It Out:
did not eat
new hyperfixation and no time for it
have not done a creative in 24 hrs
Bad Sounds
clothes are touching my body
cold
people
one (1) comment is stuck in my brain like a popcorn kernel
last time I drank water was ??????
nervous nervous nervous nervous
got a Slightly Worse grade than expected
last hug was ??????
slept a full 45 minutes
lonely ............
guts are shredding (again)
have not seen sunlight in 24 hrs
stuck inside
too much screen time
Yay Overwhelm
room is disaster area
have not talked to Person in a while
bored
imposter phenomenon (again)
no current routine
how long have I been working???
Too Much Socialization
and then. and THEN. I may consider:
something is actually wrong
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This will mean nothing to anyone but tumblr is still the best way to scream into the void, so here I am, screaming
HOLY SHIT I JUST BOUGHT TICKETS TO SEE SHOOT FROM THE HIP LIVE IN MARCH!!!! HOW LUCKY AM I TO BE IN LONDON THE EXACT DAY THAT THEY'RE DOING A SHOW?!?! I HAVEN'T BEEN TO LONDON IN FOUR YEARS AND NOW I'VE DISCOVERED THESE AMAZING PEOPLE ABOUT A MONTH AGO AND NOW I'M GOING TO SEE THEM LIVE AND ALL OF IT JUST BY CHANCE WHAT OMG!!!!!!!!! š±š±š±
I will keep screaming offline now, thank you for providing me with an outlet, goodnight
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Question for people who have experience with therapy because I don't even know anymore
Conversation I had with a therapist yesterday:
Me: *describes problem *
Her: Oh yeah, that sucks. Maybe you should try to change how you think about this topic, then it'll get better.
Me: Fair enough, how do I do that?
Her: You're jumping ahead to the solution again! Don't think about a solution!
Me: ā¦
Question: Is this how it's supposed to work? I was under the impression that therapy would help me find solutions to my problems, but now I'm told not to ājump aheadā to the solution? Like thanks, I've been thinking about the problem for 26 years, I don't think this is ājumping aheadā??
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