Let's talk about banana fish.

Someone has to say it so I'll say it. Ash death was actually suicide. Yes, he didn't inflict the injury to himself but he didn't try to treat it. Don't go telling me that it was because he couldn't go to the hospital because actually there were other options in front of him.

1. Treat the injury himself because he knew how to do it. That wasn't his first time getting stabbed. In fact I think he says himself that he could treat his own injuries and that it wouldn't be the first time.

2. He could have gotten help from Dr. Meredith who is a back alley doctor.

3. Go see a coroner : in countries like the USA where gang violence is recurrent, when gang members are badly wounded they go see coroners. Because you know coroners also have a medical degree.

4. He could have gone to the hospital because nobody was searching for him as criminal. They probably would have ask him to testify which he could have refused. It would have been a pain because he wanted to be in peace and not deal with all that crap.

So, he had options to choose for himself and live but he deliberately decided to die. I know we all believe that he did this entirely to save Eiji but I don't think so. Part of him might have done it with that purpose but not all of him.

I think ash let himself die because that was his wish all along. He was in great suffering and he wanted to put an end to it. Remember when he tells Eiji that when he was facing unbearable things death would become attractive. I think that the moment he got stabbed with Eiji letter in his hand was one of those moments.

Ash purpose to live was revenge and he got it. Like that all his purpose to live came to an end. With no purpose he had no choice but to deal with all that happened to him for all those years. He actually never dealt with any of it. He said it himself to Jessica that he wouldn't have survived if he took the time to deal with his trauma. He had years of trauma bottled up and didn't want to deal with them. No-one would. He was raped for ten years, used for child pornografy. He was only seen as an object without feeling, he killed countless of lifes, to the point that everytime he looked at his hands, he saw blood. He killed his best friend even he was actually helping him he still killed him. He had nightmares every single night. In all his hell he met Eiji and knew he was loved that's why he died smiling.

So yeah I think we should talk about ash death as suicide. I don't know if I explained myself well. I think I could've explained it better but I don't know how.

Anyway thanks for reading.

Can someone explain to me why is gon in that list??? 💀