I am fond of lovers but I cannot love, I am too far away, am banished,
Franz Kafka, Diaries, 1910-1923
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𝙾𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟸𝟶, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟹
𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚣 𝙺𝚊𝚏𝚔𝚊, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟶 -𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟹
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self isolating to cope is great until you look up one day and years have passed and you realise no one knew you when you were 18 or 19 or 20 or 21 and now they never will
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existentially fucked
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I am empty and alone
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First, I became an artist because I thought it would heal the emptiness that was eating me alive. Then, I emptied myself out entirely to create work I thought would impress people. Now I’m realizing no one gives a shit how painfully I’ve emptied myself out, and there’s finally nothing left.
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Gone Girl (2014) dir. David Fincher
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Hanif Abdurraqib, A Little Devil in America: Notes in Praise of Black Performance
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Just watched the new episode of euphoria…… it’s really painful to understand rues character so deeply. To have chronic mental illness, to know it’ll never go away and the lowest of lows will be with you forever so you take whatever you can to numb it for a second even if it hurts everyone around you…… I felt it so deep when she said she couldn’t stay clean. It’s the only thing keeping us alive. We either use or we kill outselves :/
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