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fieldofdaisiies ¡ 7 minutes
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17 &24 with rhysriel(Rhysand and Azriel)
17…to distract. 24 …in danger for Rhys x Azriel
Azriel shudders when the footsteps only grow louder, the howling and growling of the Illyrian brutes loud and clear.
"They are going to catch us, Rhys," Azriel says in a hushed voice, reaching for his best friend's arm. Azriel's teeth start to clatter in fear, his whole body shaking.
"Not if we stay calm and focus." Rhys looks at his best friend over his shoulder. His best friend or....
"You need to focus, Az, and calm down."
"I can't!" the young shadowsinger retorts, and shakes his head, his teeth only clattering louder.
"Let me kiss you." Not a question, but Rhys is still asking for consent.
"What?" Azriel gasps, his eyes-widening. He likes Rhys a lot, but he hasn't thought the feeling is mutual.
"Yes or no?!"
Azriel moves without answering, chasing his best friend's lips, and suddenly his mind is calm. And so is his heart. He feels at ease and that for the first time in a long while. There lips don't move in perfect sync, it is all a bit hasty and clumsy, but it serves its purpose and draws a smile onto both their faces when they part.
Vigour to win and get out of this place alive fills their hearts and suddenly Azriel feels a lot more confident.
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fieldofdaisiies ¡ 23 minutes
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Heeyyy
I'm back!!!
I was thinking,
The kiss prompt?
11 - in joy, for rhysand and mor in a sibling way
11 - in joy, for rhysand and mor in a sibling way
"I'm so happy for you!" Mor, before even realising what she does presses a big smooch onto Rhysand's cheek, then curls her arms around his shoulders and hugs him tightly.
"My cousin is truly a mated male now." She beams up at him when she lowers herself to the ground again.
Rhysand is grinning at her. "You thought that wouldn't happen, didn't you?"
Mor shakes her head. "Nah, I really thought you are hopeless. The most powerful High Lord in all of Prythian but shit when it comes to keeping a female for longer than a month."
He gives her reproachful look. "Maybe me being the most powerful High Lord was exactly the reason of being incapable of keeping a female and you know...where I was for fifty y–"
Mor raises her hand to shut him up. "Let's not talk about this now. Today is only for joy and bliss, I don't want you to think about the past today, Rhys. Today you are happy!"
Rhysand curls his arm around his cousin, pulling her to his chest. He kisses the top of her head. "I am happy," he says in a voice full of gratitude, "not only about the mate I have found, but also the family I have."
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fieldofdaisiies ¡ 1 hour
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*Clueless, Azris version* Eris: My healer doesn’t want me doing anything where balls fly at my nose. Azriel: There goes our sex life.
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fieldofdaisiies ¡ 2 hours
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How to Lose a High Lord... eventually?
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preparing for a big-ish project for eris week and decided to practice on arina and eris from the @separatist-apologist extended multiverse
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fieldofdaisiies ¡ 2 hours
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Wanted to send some positivity to some acotar/sjm writers because the shit going on right now and the NEGATIVITY is CRAYYYZY
Anyways you're doing amazing, and your fics are fabulous boo, your an amazing writer and an amazing person and your probably doing amazing in your personal life too💗, if things aren't that good right now, then I'm sure they're going to get a 110% better, your so sweet and nice and don't give up on writing or your hobby just because some bald headed, unemployed, probably lonely and have nobody in their life so they hate on other people because they're like mosquitos they suck the life and joy out of people, tell you otherwise
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oh this is so lovely of you to send me this. thank you sooooo much for making my day and thank you for taking your time to write this and send it to me💛
I hope you have the most amazing day ahead of you, you deserve all the love and kindness in this world💛
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fieldofdaisiies ¡ 2 hours
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Oh snap ! What now ?!
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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers <3
thank you for asking this💛
my cats, I love them so much and they make my life at least 80% better haha
when I smile at people in public and they smile back!!
good food; with everything I am not allowed to eat I found it really hard for a time to enjoy food, but I have figured out many great recipes over the past years and now I found my love for food again
comments on story; I know I know, but they just truly make me happy hehe
good time with good people; just sitting together and laughing, having a good time
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fieldofdaisiies ¡ 2 hours
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I love your work so so so much and come back to it all the time you're amazing! But I'm disabled and my hands don't really work the font size on the master lists makes it really hard for me to click the chapters I know it looks pretty but is there a cace you could space it out or make it bigger?
first of all, thank you sooo much, that means a lot to me💛
secondly, I am very sorry this has caused you problems. of course, I can do this!! it will be a bit of work but I already did whispers of the forgotten (as you mentioned chpaters, I thought you might be referring to this story).
does it concern all masterlists? or are there special ones I should do first? would be lovely if you could tell me💛
have a good day!!☀️
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fieldofdaisiies ¡ 2 hours
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Nah no forgiveness for him😂
I’d rather stay solulu than delulu
Being with him would only reopen wounds
Reader just came out of the prison she’s not even ready for a relationship and how could she stand him without thinking about his betrayal and think about forgiveness??? That’s the thing she shouldn’t even dream about
She would be so confused and overwhelmed with everything
If i was her i would have had panic attacks if he came near me or someone spoke of that pos
I only hear him yapping excuses
And Rhys kind of guilting her into thinking Azriel had no choice is disgusting
Leave my girl alone😭😭😭
She deserves the best not some pos and his toxic family
I love the story by the way just hate it when men aren’t held accountable because just as she said they’ve only freed her to use her.
Would he have let her rot there forever if there was no use?
oh my thank you sooo much for this long message!!💛
I totally see what you are saying and that is why I also scraped my original idea of them like getting back together in chapter 4 (this is when my plan was that this story will only have 5 chapters lol).
I completely changed the direction, and they won't be like "okay, I forgive you and still love you the same", they have a lot of talking and explaining to do and I still don't know if I want to end the story with a happy ending or not hahah
don't worry, I didn't see it as hate and I totally agree with you - many times in fiction men are forgiven for things I couldn't even imagine forgiving them in real life.
hope you have a good day💛
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High Lady Beron
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tag list wotf: @goldenmagnolias @chessebookgirl @blackgirlmagicforever @mollygetssherlockcoffee @honeysuckle-daydreams13 @janebirkln @cleverzonkwombatsludge @namelesssav @sidthedollface2 @brujitafantomatico @ruler-of-hades @favsrachz @katherinejess @jesus-is-me @ashbatz @onyx-obsession @mischiefmanagers @thesnugglingduck @wandas-dream @emryb @esposadomd @marvelouslovely-barnes @landofpetrichor @sheblogs @zoe2 @leeknows-wife @secretlyhers @itsswritten @lupinswolfsbanes @auggiesolovey @going-through-shit @esposadomd @ithan-holstroms-girl @v3lv3tf0x @hibye02 @karinalight @darling006 @just-a-social-casualty @shedreamswithstars @dr4g0ngirl @quinzzelx @shadowsingers-redhood @sirenpearldust @rhysandorian @starcrossedsan @spideytingley @historygeekqueen @starryhiraeth @fasoaurore @thegirlintheshadows101 @sleepylunarwolf @kalulakunundrum @mybestfriendmademe @emryb @63angel  @highladyivy @saltedcoffeescotch
@caraaaaugh @feiwelinchen @aunicornmademedoit @judig92 @theravenphoenix26
Whisper of the Forgotten | pt. 6
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pairing: azriel x reader | type: angst | words: 2k words | warnings: mentions of torture, descriptions of torture | masterlist
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Your heart is pounding rapidly, hammering against your ribcage. Cold sweat breaks out at the back of your neck and you step out of your hiding place when you hear the knock once again. A cold shiver curls around your spine, but a kernel of hope blooms within your chest.
This must be your mate – he has come to save you.
“Azriel, is this you?” you ask, but receive no answer from the darkness. Later you learn that this was a fateful question, because it gave away your location – your hiding spot. 
After the question is asked, everything happens too fast, one moment you question your lover’s arrival, the next moment the door is slammed open, and broad hands grab you, many male voices sounding around you. "Who are you expecting, Bloody Baroness?" A voice sneers, dripping with venom. "You thought you could hide from us?”
Your vision is covered by a black sheet and you are dragged somewhere. Somewhere where it is a lot colder than in your hiding place, a cool wind wiping against your shivering body, the thin nightgown not shielding you from it.
And then–
An icy chill cascades down your spine when your nightgown is ripped open and a cry dies down in your throat when the first lash lands upon your back. Many follow, icy, sharp pain erupting on your back, until you feel nothing anymore. No pain, no cold, you only feel numb. Dead. 
As you lay there, battered and broken, the echo of your own voice reverberates in your mind, "Azriel, is this you?" The question hangs in the air like a curse, haunting you. It had given you away. 
Your world quickly becomes a blur of pain and terror, and hopelessness makes you feel sick. Azriel won’t come. He won’t rescue you. 
He won’t–
But hope sparks to life because he truly arrives, you hear his boots, his voice and feel his presence, the bond calling to him. Relief blossoms rapidly, only to be extinguished a moment later when things only get worse...
Azriel is crying by the time your fingertips slide out of his neck, dripping with blood, but the wounds seal quickly. His chest is heaving with deep, ragged sobs.
“Y/N,” his voice is full of pain, of regret when he speaks your name. His scarred digits brush over your face, catching the burning tears that escape your eyes.
“I didn’t mean for any of that to happen,” he breathes, voice hoarse. His other hand comes up, resting against the side of your neck. “I only put you in the Prison to protect you.” 
Confusion coats your insides and you shudder. Tipping your head back you look into his eyes, Azriel’s head slightly bowed.
“To protect me? From what? I doubt anything could have been worse than this hell.”
His hands tremble, shadows reaching out, caressing your skin in soothing motions.
“He wanted you dead.” Azriel’s gaze drops. “Rhysand’s father. It was the only way to protect you. He said the Prison or your head - I chose your life, Y/N.”
You tremble so hard at the revelation you need to hold onto Azriel to not fall, your whole body shaking.
All these years, all these centuries, you believed Azriel to have betrayed you. But he only wanted to save your life. Every emotion you could feel in this moment washes over you, drowning you under gigantic waves of shock and relief. 
You start to sob and thrash your hands against the shadowsinger‘s hard chest. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why couldn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me back then?”
Azriel’s scarred hands curl around your wrists and he pulls you to his chest, ignoring the claws. “I couldn’t. You would have fought him. There would have been no other way to save you.”
Your whole body is shaking, so hard you convulse and threaten to slump onto the ground but Azriel catches you.
He holds your arms tightly, and his head drops. “I couldn’t risk it. I could have never risked it. There would have always been people who sought after your life.” Azriel exhales a long breath that fans your face. ���First Rhys‘ father, Tamlin‘s father. Later Hybern. Then Amaranth and Hybern.”
“All those years, Azriel,” you breathe through your tears. “You never came. You never checked on me. You could have come to me. See how I was doing. You could have explained yourself.”
“I was a coward. I thought you wouldn’t forgive me. And seeing you and not being able to free you…I couldn’t do that. Not to myself, not to you.” His tears now also wet your skin and you exhale a shuddering breath. “I couldn’t bring myself to go there only to tell you that there is no way to free you.”
“But to see if I am doing alright. You could have asked Rhys–”
“I tried everything, Y/N!” he almost shouts. “I tried to find a damn way to free you, but the books said nothing. I even looked in Helion’s –the High Lord of the Day Court– library, but nothing.”
You close your eyes, swallowing a sob. “I wanted to free you…but I couldn’t find a way to do it.”
He swallows thickly and the shadows curl tightly around him. “Nesta‘s harp - part of the Dead Trove. It was only possible through it. Freeing you was only possible through it. This was the solution I have been looking for for centuries. When Nesta found it and we knew what we could do with it, I knew what I would use it for. I just had to wait for the right moment.” 
You lean your weight against him, the pain and anger having formed over centuries not yet dissipating. 
“You didn’t forget about me when I was there?”
“Not for one moment.” Azriel brushes his scarred thumb over your damp cheek. “I‘ve thought about you every day of my life, but I could free you. It wasn’t possible and it slowly destroyed me.”
It destroyed him…Memories of the moldy cell, the screams, and then the deafening silence fill your mind. You see yourself, looking down on you, the open wounds, the scars, the blood and everything inside you coils. You let him close, despite never wanting to allow it again. You were vulnerable, he caught you in this moment and took advantage of it. 
Azriel wants to lean in to kiss your cheek, but you straighten your posture and shove at his chest. “I can’t do this. I can’t…I just can’t.”
With rather quick steps you move away from him, eyes clouded with tears, mind hazy with anger and disappointment. 
“Leave!”
“Y/N,” Aziel pleads, “please, forgive me.”
“Leave!” A sob crashes into your ragged breathing and you wrap your arms around your naked body. “Leave! Leave me alone. Leave me alone like you left me back then.”
You may understand now why there was no other option but putting you into the Prison but that doesn’t mean you forgive him for never visiting you. For hurting you so much and never offering an explanation, or an apology. Never checking in on you if you were doing alright. 
Slowly, and even without the amulet, your power manifests, flames of silver and cobalt, forming at your hands slowly sliding towards him, the flames of black and cobalt fire increasing, growing. It is fear that often feeds your powers, negative emotions, panic, and horror and it makes you stronger. 
“Alright,” he whispers. “I will leave you. I am going on a mission to the continent, you won’t see me for a while.”
“Get out!” you shout again, ignoring what he is saying. Azriel truly follows your orders, his chin dropping to his chest, wings dragging over the ground, shoulders dropping. But he leaves, leaves you alone and another scream parts your dry lips. “Asshole!”
───── ⋆⋅ ☽☾ ⋅⋆ ─────
“We never properly met back then, did we?”
You quickly wipe the back of your hand over your tear streaked cheek. Then you turn to the High Lord and shake your head. 
“But you knew me.”
“I did, but I didn’t know that there was something between Azriel and you.”
You huff, and give your head a little shake. Apparently, you weren’t even worth mentioning.
“Azriel told me…everything.” Rhysand pulls out a chair and sits down before you can stop him. “Now, he told me everything. Neither Cassian nor I knew about you back then, but I know one person that did.”
“Your sister.” You snivel. 
Rhysand nods slowly. “She died after the war.” He turns to you and meets your eyes, his own filled with nothing but pain and nostalgia. “She was very fond of you, you were one of her closest friends.”
You smile at the memories that fill your mind, and a single tear slips down your cheek. 
“When you were gone…our father told us that you had to leave. To the continent. It is what he also forced Azriel to say. He made him lie.”
You give the High Lord no answer, because what is there to say. Oh poor Azriel…how he must have suffered... Internally your eyes roll.
“He would have tried to save you if he had a chance.”
You shake your head at that and close the book, shoving it away. “No, he wouldn’t.”
“Yes, Y/N, he would. I can see his regret, I can also feel it. And the moment we found out what the Harp is capable of, Azriel seemed happier, like a sudden sense of hope had filled him. He didn’t reveal the reason for it, but we could all feel that there was something.”
You want to believe that. You so desperately want to believe that, him. It heals a small part of your heart, but it still doesn’t make the pain over him not once visiting you any better. 
“He could have saved me when he found the Harp and not wait until you needed my help.”
You hold the High Lord’s gaze. “A lot was going on at that time and we needed the Harp. I think Azriel wanted to wait for the right moment.”
“The right moment when you needed my help,” you snap and snatch another book, opening it with so much force the binding hits the table with a loud thump. “Are you only here to tell me how amazing your best friend is and that I should forgive him. Because if that is the case, I want you to leave.”
“I am not here to tell you that.” Rhysand inhales deeply. “I am just telling you what I know. If you forgive him, if you ever decide that forgiveness is the right way, is up to you. It is your choice and your choice only, but I want you to know that even if we hadn’t needed your help, he would have tried to save you.” He turns and walks towards the door. “He was going to save you. I trust my best friend, and I have seen it in his mind – he revealed it all to me, showed me everything.”
“My father…he threatened the other female in Azriel’s life. The only other female he would have given his life for. This was the only way to protect you both.”
Your throat starts to burn. “His mother.”
Rhysand’s chin dips and then he is gone, the door silently closing behind him and you are left alone with your thoughts, and the High Lord’s revelations. 
Forgiveness…it never seemed like an option, but does it now?
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tags (crossed-out I couldn't tag) : @juulle987 @marimorena06 @danikasthings @younxii @nightcourtwritings @mrofontaine @lunalilyf @whor-3-crux @tired-all-the-time @anni-was-here @ummmmmwat @azbracadabra @j-pendragonx @hollyismentallyillhelp @famousbasementpainter @bsenpai @lena-davina @red-highlady @thesugatoyourtae @azrielsbabyg @aroseinvelaris @moony-thoughts @wrensical003 @cherryjain17 @moonfawnx @crushedcloudsx @devilsfoodcake22  @valeridarkness @azrielscertifiedslut @mulansaucey @cynicalpotato95 @hanasakr @high-bi-andreadytocry @eerievixen @feyretopia @moonlightazriel @randomness-it-is @brekkershadowsinger @eliieee23 @girasoli-e-sorrisi @illyrianvalkyriecarynthian  @kennedy-brooke @highladyofillyria @theworthlessqueen @marina468 @topaz125 @illyrian-dreamer @azriels-mate123 @eos-princess @courtofjurdan @a-frog-with-a-laptop @insufferablebookaddict @callmeblaire @lilah-asteria
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fieldofdaisiies ¡ 1 day
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Whisper of the Forgotten | pt. 6
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pairing: azriel x reader | type: angst | words: 2k words | warnings: mentions of torture, descriptions of torture | masterlist
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Your heart is pounding rapidly, hammering against your ribcage. Cold sweat breaks out at the back of your neck and you step out of your hiding place when you hear the knock once again. A cold shiver curls around your spine, but a kernel of hope blooms within your chest.
This must be your mate – he has come to save you.
“Azriel, is this you?” you ask, but receive no answer from the darkness. Later you learn that this was a fateful question, because it gave away your location – your hiding spot. 
After the question is asked, everything happens too fast, one moment you question your lover’s arrival, the next moment the door is slammed open, and broad hands grab you, many male voices sounding around you. "Who are you expecting, Bloody Baroness?" A voice sneers, dripping with venom. "You thought you could hide from us?”
Your vision is covered by a black sheet and you are dragged somewhere. Somewhere where it is a lot colder than in your hiding place, a cool wind wiping against your shivering body, the thin nightgown not shielding you from it.
And then–
An icy chill cascades down your spine when your nightgown is ripped open and a cry dies down in your throat when the first lash lands upon your back. Many follow, icy, sharp pain erupting on your back, until you feel nothing anymore. No pain, no cold, you only feel numb. Dead. 
As you lay there, battered and broken, the echo of your own voice reverberates in your mind, "Azriel, is this you?" The question hangs in the air like a curse, haunting you. It had given you away. 
Your world quickly becomes a blur of pain and terror, and hopelessness makes you feel sick. Azriel won’t come. He won’t rescue you. 
He won’t–
But hope sparks to life because he truly arrives, you hear his boots, his voice and feel his presence, the bond calling to him. Relief blossoms rapidly, only to be extinguished a moment later when things only get worse...
Azriel is crying by the time your fingertips slide out of his neck, dripping with blood, but the wounds seal quickly. His chest is heaving with deep, ragged sobs.
“Y/N,” his voice is full of pain, of regret when he speaks your name. His scarred digits brush over your face, catching the burning tears that escape your eyes.
“I didn’t mean for any of that to happen,” he breathes, voice hoarse. His other hand comes up, resting against the side of your neck. “I only put you in the Prison to protect you.” 
Confusion coats your insides and you shudder. Tipping your head back you look into his eyes, Azriel’s head slightly bowed.
“To protect me? From what? I doubt anything could have been worse than this hell.”
His hands tremble, shadows reaching out, caressing your skin in soothing motions.
“He wanted you dead.” Azriel’s gaze drops. “Rhysand’s father. It was the only way to protect you. He said the Prison or your head - I chose your life, Y/N.”
You tremble so hard at the revelation you need to hold onto Azriel to not fall, your whole body shaking.
All these years, all these centuries, you believed Azriel to have betrayed you. But he only wanted to save your life. Every emotion you could feel in this moment washes over you, drowning you under gigantic waves of shock and relief. 
You start to sob and thrash your hands against the shadowsinger‘s hard chest. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why couldn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me back then?”
Azriel’s scarred hands curl around your wrists and he pulls you to his chest, ignoring the claws. “I couldn’t. You would have fought him. There would have been no other way to save you.”
Your whole body is shaking, so hard you convulse and threaten to slump onto the ground but Azriel catches you.
He holds your arms tightly, and his head drops. “I couldn’t risk it. I could have never risked it. There would have always been people who sought after your life.” Azriel exhales a long breath that fans your face. “First Rhys‘ father, Tamlin‘s father. Later Hybern. Then Amaranth and Hybern.”
“All those years, Azriel,” you breathe through your tears. “You never came. You never checked on me. You could have come to me. See how I was doing. You could have explained yourself.”
“I was a coward. I thought you wouldn’t forgive me. And seeing you and not being able to free you…I couldn’t do that. Not to myself, not to you.” His tears now also wet your skin and you exhale a shuddering breath. “I couldn’t bring myself to go there only to tell you that there is no way to free you.”
“But to see if I am doing alright. You could have asked Rhys–”
“I tried everything, Y/N!” he almost shouts. “I tried to find a damn way to free you, but the books said nothing. I even looked in Helion’s –the High Lord of the Day Court– library, but nothing.”
You close your eyes, swallowing a sob. “I wanted to free you…but I couldn’t find a way to do it.”
He swallows thickly and the shadows curl tightly around him. “Nesta‘s harp - part of the Dead Trove. It was only possible through it. Freeing you was only possible through it. This was the solution I have been looking for for centuries. When Nesta found it and we knew what we could do with it, I knew what I would use it for. I just had to wait for the right moment.” 
You lean your weight against him, the pain and anger having formed over centuries not yet dissipating. 
“You didn’t forget about me when I was there?”
“Not for one moment.” Azriel brushes his scarred thumb over your damp cheek. “I‘ve thought about you every day of my life, but I could free you. It wasn’t possible and it slowly destroyed me.”
It destroyed him…Memories of the moldy cell, the screams, and then the deafening silence fill your mind. You see yourself, looking down on you, the open wounds, the scars, the blood and everything inside you coils. You let him close, despite never wanting to allow it again. You were vulnerable, he caught you in this moment and took advantage of it. 
Azriel wants to lean in to kiss your cheek, but you straighten your posture and shove at his chest. “I can’t do this. I can’t…I just can’t.”
With rather quick steps you move away from him, eyes clouded with tears, mind hazy with anger and disappointment. 
“Leave!”
“Y/N,” Aziel pleads, “please, forgive me.”
“Leave!” A sob crashes into your ragged breathing and you wrap your arms around your naked body. “Leave! Leave me alone. Leave me alone like you left me back then.”
You may understand now why there was no other option but putting you into the Prison but that doesn’t mean you forgive him for never visiting you. For hurting you so much and never offering an explanation, or an apology. Never checking in on you if you were doing alright. 
Slowly, and even without the amulet, your power manifests, flames of silver and cobalt, forming at your hands slowly sliding towards him, the flames of black and cobalt fire increasing, growing. It is fear that often feeds your powers, negative emotions, panic, and horror and it makes you stronger. 
“Alright,” he whispers. “I will leave you. I am going on a mission to the continent, you won’t see me for a while.”
“Get out!” you shout again, ignoring what he is saying. Azriel truly follows your orders, his chin dropping to his chest, wings dragging over the ground, shoulders dropping. But he leaves, leaves you alone and another scream parts your dry lips. “Asshole!”
───── ⋆⋅ ☽☾ ⋅⋆ ─────
“We never properly met back then, did we?”
You quickly wipe the back of your hand over your tear streaked cheek. Then you turn to the High Lord and shake your head. 
“But you knew me.”
“I did, but I didn’t know that there was something between Azriel and you.”
You huff, and give your head a little shake. Apparently, you weren’t even worth mentioning.
“Azriel told me…everything.” Rhysand pulls out a chair and sits down before you can stop him. “Now, he told me everything. Neither Cassian nor I knew about you back then, but I know one person that did.”
“Your sister.” You snivel. 
Rhysand nods slowly. “She died after the war.” He turns to you and meets your eyes, his own filled with nothing but pain and nostalgia. “She was very fond of you, you were one of her closest friends.”
You smile at the memories that fill your mind, and a single tear slips down your cheek. 
“When you were gone…our father told us that you had to leave. To the continent. It is what he also forced Azriel to say. He made him lie.”
You give the High Lord no answer, because what is there to say. Oh poor Azriel…how he must have suffered... Internally your eyes roll.
“He would have tried to save you if he had a chance.”
You shake your head at that and close the book, shoving it away. “No, he wouldn’t.”
“Yes, Y/N, he would. I can see his regret, I can also feel it. And the moment we found out what the Harp is capable of, Azriel seemed happier, like a sudden sense of hope had filled him. He didn’t reveal the reason for it, but we could all feel that there was something.”
You want to believe that. You so desperately want to believe that, him. It heals a small part of your heart, but it still doesn’t make the pain over him not once visiting you any better. 
“He could have saved me when he found the Harp and not wait until you needed my help.”
You hold the High Lord’s gaze. “A lot was going on at that time and we needed the Harp. I think Azriel wanted to wait for the right moment.”
“The right moment when you needed my help,” you snap and snatch another book, opening it with so much force the binding hits the table with a loud thump. “Are you only here to tell me how amazing your best friend is and that I should forgive him. Because if that is the case, I want you to leave.”
“I am not here to tell you that.” Rhysand inhales deeply. “I am just telling you what I know. If you forgive him, if you ever decide that forgiveness is the right way, is up to you. It is your choice and your choice only, but I want you to know that even if we hadn’t needed your help, he would have tried to save you.” He turns and walks towards the door. “He was going to save you. I trust my best friend, and I have seen it in his mind – he revealed it all to me, showed me everything.”
“My father…he threatened the other female in Azriel’s life. The only other female he would have given his life for. This was the only way to protect you both.”
Your throat starts to burn. “His mother.”
Rhysand’s chin dips and then he is gone, the door silently closing behind him and you are left alone with your thoughts, and the High Lord’s revelations. 
Forgiveness…it never seemed like an option, but does it now?
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tags (crossed-out I couldn't tag) : @juulle987 @marimorena06 @danikasthings @younxii @nightcourtwritings @mrofontaine @lunalilyf @whor-3-crux @tired-all-the-time @anni-was-here @ummmmmwat @azbracadabra @j-pendragonx @hollyismentallyillhelp @famousbasementpainter @bsenpai @lena-davina @red-highlady @thesugatoyourtae @azrielsbabyg @aroseinvelaris @moony-thoughts @wrensical003 @cherryjain17 @moonfawnx @crushedcloudsx @devilsfoodcake22  @valeridarkness @azrielscertifiedslut @mulansaucey @cynicalpotato95 @hanasakr @high-bi-andreadytocry @eerievixen @feyretopia @moonlightazriel @randomness-it-is @brekkershadowsinger @eliieee23 @girasoli-e-sorrisi @illyrianvalkyriecarynthian  @kennedy-brooke @highladyofillyria @theworthlessqueen @marina468 @topaz125 @illyrian-dreamer @azriels-mate123 @eos-princess @courtofjurdan @a-frog-with-a-laptop @insufferablebookaddict @callmeblaire @lilah-asteria
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Too late….
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Chapter 5: Revelations /// Azriel X F!Reader
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Summary: A new discovery leaves her astonished and face to face with an old enemy.
Word Count: 2,7K
Warnings: Blood, mentions of fight and angst.
Notes: King Ridderak making his first cameo in this series hahahaha
Main Masterlist
Worlds Apart Masterlist
Her heart loudly cracked in her chest as she watched him from afar, her fists banging against the glass cage. She screamed, begging him to not go with the female covered in shadows, her hands dragging him away from her. Her safe heaven had turned into a nightmare. 
She sat against the cold floor, her naked body shivering as all of her insecurities started to bubble to the surface, bare for his judgmental eyes to see. His eyes took her in, every inch of uncovered skin, every scar, from the big marks on her back, to the small cuts on her arms and legs. 
Blue coated her cheeks as blood concentrated on her face, making her hide her face in embarrassment. Laughter sounded from around her, and as she peeked, everyone she knew stood there, judging, mocking, criticising. She shut her eyes close as Asterin's disappointed glare burned holes in her soul. Disappointed in what she had become. 
Tears streamed down her face, burning their way down. It was so hard to breathe, and she felt like the walls were closing on her, crushing her against their confinement. From a thousand miles away from her, the female kept dragging him away. She opened her mouth but nothing came, not a single word, just broken sobs. 
Someone knocked on the glass. Long dark hair, green eyes, that big smile turned into a cruel smirk as he moved his head from one side to another in disapproval. Ruvyn lowered his body until he was face to face with her. 
“You really thought you deserved love? You’re a fucking filthy bitch, you deserve to die alone.” His voice reverberated through the glass cage and she turned her head, looking for him once again. He was almost gone when the words finally left her lips.
“Azriel!” She yelled. “Please don’t leave me alone.” 
A thunder shook the room and she woke up startled. Rubbing the remaining tears of her face, she kicked the covers, taking a quick shower, her riding leathers secured in place. She marched down the house, ignoring the happy chatter. She just wanted to be gone. 
Meraxes was as agitated as she felt, frantically moving until she rested her head against his nose, trying to calm him down. He lowered his leg, and she climbed, adjusting her body on the saddle and eagering him towards the sky.
Thunders ripped the skies, rain pelted against her body making her shiver in her seat. Velaris was getting far away, she aimed for the mountains, wanting to get as alone as possible. Tears mixed with rain drops as glimpses of her dream filled her head. 
She screamed in anger. How was it possible that even after so many years he still had the power to mess with her head? Make her feel small like a little witchling. She hated him, and she hoped he was rotting in the underworld, he didn’t deserve to be claimed by the Darkness. 
Meraxes landed, heart beating in synchrony with hers, afraid she would do something crazy from up there, if the wild emotions emanating from her were any indications of it. She hit her hands against his sides, telling him to move again but he stood his ground, not moving a muscle.
“Great.” She growled, removing the belt that kept her on it. Sliding down his leg and pacing around like a madwoman. 
She still had another thing to face, despite her best efforts to make it seem that it wasn’t that big of a deal. She was finally able to name the winged male that plagued her dreams for years. 
Azriel.
The name echoed on her head and she clenched her fists, as if she wasn’t already in deep shit. She sat by Meraxes feet, petting his nose as he rested his head by her side. She felt all that shame once again as she remembered how disgusted he looked at her. He had never looked at her like that before, maybe something changed now that he finally saw her in person. 
She wondered if he dreamed of her too, if he knew who she was. He had said to be patient if he didn’t remember her at first, what did it even mean? She wanted to confront him, but she didn’t want to look like she was crazy in case he didn’t share the same dreams. She wouldn’t embarrass herself further. 
Once again she found herself contemplating the big question: What the fuck she would do?
⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆ 
“Do you think she was alright?” Nesta wondered, still looking at where Y/N had stormed, like the thunderstorm outside. 
“Why do you care?” Elain asked, her bored gaze fixed on her sister, everyone seemed to care a lot about that female lately. 
“She’s a guest in my house, I'm just concerned.” She replied, but deep down, she was worried because she knew that broken expression and empty eyes like the palm of her hand. The same expression she had for months after the events with Hybern, the same feelings she fought so hard to never feel again. 
“Talking about guests, would you let Lucien stay here?” Feyre asked, holding Nyx against her chest as she fed the baby. “I don’t think he’ll want to stay at the River House.” She subtly nodded towards Elain.
“Yeah, he’s welcome to stay here too.” Nesta agreed. Lucien wasn’t that bad after all. 
“I still don’t know why he’s coming, I don't want him here.” The middle Archeron protested, making Feyre roll her eyes. 
“Lucien is a member of this court and a dear friend of mine, he has the right to be here whether you want it or not.” Feyre spoke gently, despite this conversation making her exhausted, whenever Lucien was invited Elain would act like that, just to sit seething with anger whenever he interacted with another female. 
“Alright, I'm sorry.” She said, biting a cookie. She felt anxiety curse through her body at the thought of seeing Lucien again, it’s been a few months since she last saw him, she wondered if he was doing alright. 
The doors bursted open, water pooled at her feet, a black liquid coated her clothes and her face. She was holding a decapitated head, Elain and Feyre felt their stomachs twisting at the sight and the horrible smell that covered both her and the head.
“We have a problem.” 
⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆ 
Meraxes’ head lifted from the ground, she wasn’t sure how much time had passed, the tears had stopped and all she felt was a heaviness on her chest, making it hard to breath as usual. She heard the low growl from the wyvern, his eyes squinted as he felt something approaching.
She quickly got up, hands grabbing the handle of Godslayer, placing the sword in front of her and whatever was approaching. The smell that hit her nose made her stomach churn, bile rose on her throat and she had to prevent herself from throwing up.
Bells rang in her mind, the smell wasn’t unknown to her, and despite her better judgement, she took a deep breath, welcoming the scent inside her lungs, making a bitter taste fill her mouth. 
The form that ran towards her wasn’t unknown either, a body covered in greyish skin, not a single hair in it, long arms and legs, vaguely reminiscent of a human in height, huge claws and a big mouth filled with pointy teeth ready to devour her flesh. His legs looked like one of hinds, almost quadrupedal.  
She roamed around in her mind for the right name, a creature that was summoned and guaranteed the powers from its victims to the summoner. Its slit-like nose sniffled the air and that mouth opened in a horrific grin.
Ridderak, that’s what this thing was, she was warned about them, those bloodthirst fuckers. She didn’t know if that thing was meant for her, but she wouldn’t give it the chance to find its target. 
He lunged for her, claws digging the soil as he ran like a dog towards her, jumping away from the venom in Meraxes tail as he swung it in its direction. The Ridderak ran on two legs again, dodging the wyvern’s attempts to stop him. 
Y/N waited for it, jumping out of the way as it lunged for her, its huge claws ripping the ground where she stood just mere seconds ago. She swung her swords, cutting the skin, black putrid blood poured from the cut. 
She cursed when at light speed, the monster turned around, its venomous teeth missing the skin of her arm by just a few inches. She had to avoid them at all costs, she didn’t know if they had their Yrene here, and she wouldn’t risk getting poised by something they couldn’t cure. She refused to die here, for that thing. 
Meraxes moved around them, trying to land a hit on the Ridderak while she tried to avoid his claws. He lunged for her again, and she descended her sword, the blade slicing its arm, she forced the weapon down, watching as it screeched in agony, the hand hanging by just a tiny patch of skin. 
Its other hand found the skin of her side, on a superficial cut through her leathers and her ribs. She sucked in a breath, pain erupting from the gash, her head getting slightly dizzy, but thankfully its claws weren’t poisoned too. 
She moved her body away from it, feeling the deeper claw get out of her inch by painful inch. Warm blood started to run down her side, she rolled her eyes. Those were her only pair of leathers in this damn place.
The Ridderak wrapped a hand around her cloak, pulling her harshly to the side, her knees failed and she fell, her head hitting the ground with full force, knocking the air out of her lungs. She barely had time to process before the thing tried to bite at her face, her sword had flown out of her reach, she cursed. She opened her hands, her claws projecting out of their confinement and she aimed for the heart.
The feeling of her nails piercing the tight skin could only be described as disgusting. She wrapped her hand around the beating heart, pulling it out with all her strength. Black blood splashed across her face, so sticky that even the heavy rain couldn’t wash it all off. 
She pushed that damned thing away, its body falling limply in the ground. She grabbed her sword, removing its head just to be sure it wouldn’t come back to life again. She frowned as the adrenaline faded and that horrible smell started to stand out. 
She wrapped her cloak around the wound to stop the bleeding. Meraxes lowered until she could climb, gritting her teeth as more pain erupted from the wound. She adjusted the belt and placed the head on her lap. Meraxes grabbed the body in between his claws and they flew back to the House of Wind. 
⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆ 
“Are you hurt?” Nesta asked. They had placed the head on top of the table and suggested that she could take a bath, to which she didn’t disagree. 
“Just a bit.” She said, removing the cloak and opening her leathers. Nesta watched as she revealed the wound, four slashes across her ribs, one deeper than the others.
“I would hardly call that a bit, I'm getting you a healer.” The Archeron said, leaving the witch alone so she could shower. 
It hurted like a bitch when the water and later soap hit the wound, but she had to deep clean if she wanted to get rid of an infection. The shower was longer than she had wanted, but no matter how much she had cleaned herself, she kept feeling just as dirty. 
After her skin was pink and raw, she had left, she had a few bruises here and there but the worst was the ribs. She opted for a pair of leggings and a loose shirt with no bra underneath, to avoid pressure on it. 
Someone knocked on her door, she allowed them in. Nesta entered followed by an older female, she had kind brown eyes and a gentle smile. She reminded her of Hafiza, the latter always being so nice to her, she enjoyed having tea with her whenever she had to go to the Tower of Dawn. 
“This is Madja.” Nesta introduced her. “And this is Y/N.”
“It’s really nice to meet you.” Y/N started. “But I'm fine.” She moved, wincing in pain. 
“That’s what I'm going to see.” She turned to Nesta, silently asking for privacy. The female nodded and left the room. Madja pointed toward the bed. “Lady Nesta told me you have quite a wound in your ribs, please lay down and remove your shirt.”
Y/N did as she was told, laying on her side with an arm around her breasts and the other above her head to give the healer full access. The female started to inspect and hum as she worked. 
“It should be closing by now, do you know if what hit you was poisoned with ash?” Y/n looked at her.
“I’m not quite like your other friends, I heal like a human.” Madja’s eyes sparked with curiosity. “Usually I give some stitches and get some tonics for pain and to try and accelerate the healing.” 
“You have experience in healing?” The female inquired, hands roaming through her things until she pulled a string and a needle. 
“I learned a few things with the best healers we have.” Madja prepared her things, and Y/N closed her eyes as she started to stitch her back up. “You remind me of one of them, she had the same kind eyes and she was so skilled.” 
“She sounded like a great person.”
“She was.” She breathed, Madja’s quick fingers working through each slice until everything was done.
“I’m going to wrap you up and I need to check you in a few days to see how you’re progressing.” She grabbed white bandage and motioned for her to sit, Y/N sat with her arms up as the healer wrapped her around her torso. 
“Thank you, it feels much better already.” The woman turned to her.
“Do not forget your appointment.” She warned and Y/N smiled at her.
“I won’t.” The female opened the door, and Y/N followed her to the living room, where everyone gathered on the couches, waiting for them apparently.
“Thank you for taking care of her, Madja.” Rhysand spoke, shaking her hands, the female nodded, and Morrigan approached her to take her back, she supposed. 
“I assume we need to talk.” She sat on a lonely chair. All eyes turned to her, she hated the attention but she swallowed past the lump on her throat and started. “I was out for a ride with Meraxes, he felt it first, but I saw it coming too. I refused to believe at first cuz I thought the nightmare was over, but it was a Ridderak.”
“A what?” Azriel’s voice sounded and she turned her eyes to him, his hazel ones fixed on her, in a flesh disgust coated his features and she was back trapped on that cage looking as he left her there alone with her demons.
“It’s a Valg demon who can be summoned. It needs the victim’s blood to be summoned, and it will hunt it and kill, the sacrifice guarantees the power of the deceased to the summoner.” The air in the room was heavy with worry.
“How is that thing here?” Rhysand spoke, his eyes wide.
“I don’t know, they just don’t appear out of nowhere, someone has to call them. Someone that knows how.” Everyone groaned.
“Why do I feel that we won’t like what you’re going to say next?” Nesta rubbed her temples.
“Because the only people i know that have summoned Ridderaks were possessed by Valgs.” More surprised gasps.
“Does this mean that we’re dealing with Valgs here?” Cassian inquired.
“Precisely. We just need to find who summoned them and kill them.” She concluded.
“And where do we find it?” Feyre spoke, nestling Nyx protectively against her.
“I have no idea, but I would be glad to help.” Another voice spoke and her gaze was dragged towards a male dressed in a green tunic, hair in a low bun with some loose braids, russet eye and a yellow mechanic eye, a scar marred his face. 
“Lucien!” Feyre greeted the male.
⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆
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Send me a ship and a kiss prompt: 20 for Morlain 💋
20…on a scar.
Mor smiles softly when she tucks a strand of dark blonde hair behind Elain’s pointed ear, her gaze focused on the Archeron sister‘s beautiful smile.
Elain is telling her a story, but Mor finds it hard to concentrate. She is just so wondderful, her laugh the most beautiful sound in the entire world and it distracts Mor.
"So that is how I ended up with this scar." Elain shrugs and then lifts her hand to show Mor the small pink-ish line on the outside of her hand.
"I thought I could avoid tgem when I crawled into thd bush to help the little bunny, but—woah what—oh!"
She blushes furiously the moment Mor‘s soft lips brush over the back of her hand, over the small scar and a giggle leaves her. "That—ahm…"
"Keep going, my love," Mor grins, not letting go off Elain‘s hand just yet, only adding another small peck.
for the kiss prompts
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9…in public for Elucien, for the kiss prompts requested by @moonlightazriel
"Is this too scandalous?"
"Kissing your mate." The corner of Lucien’s mouth tips upwards.
"Snogging out here? On a bridge? Where everyone can see us?" Elain’s eyes are wide open, her cheeks a deep red.
But Lucien only laughs, the sound pure and wonderful. "Who still uses the word snogging, my love?"
Elain’s brows bunch. "I do."
"Then let us snog a little more." Lucien gibes her no chamce to answer, he chases her lips and Elain immediately relaxes into the kiss. Who cares if anyone can see them?
Maybe it would even be good if a few who the females always drooling over her mate see them, Elain thinks, and pushes up on her tip toes to have better access to her mate’s lips. She kisses him with new found vigour, until they are breathless and part with big smiles on their lips.
for the kiss prompts
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Elucien with 9 and Gwynriel with 7
7…to shut them up for Gwynriel (I‘m doing Elucien in a separate post)
"You‘re just a really bad loser, shadowsinger." Gwyn grins from one ear to the other, a vicious glint in her eyes. "L.O.S.—"
Azriel‘s lips collide with hers before she can finish, her back softly being pressed against the wall behind her. He swallows the gasp that escapes her and thd chuckle that follows. "Berdara," he rasps against her lips. "What did you just call me?"
"Loser!" She laughs and is now the one to kiss him, slamming her lips against his while simultaneously her arms curl around his neck and she jumps up.
Azriel catches her with ease, giving her rear a soft smack. "You are impossible, my mate."
"But you like it." She grins, her lips curling against his when they break apart for a moment.
"I fucking love it." And his lips close over hers once again.
for the kiss prompts
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