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fayrobertsuk · 4 days
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many happy returns! 🎂🎊
Oh wow! Thanks! ❤️
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fayrobertsuk · 4 days
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Hahaha, AWESOME! Ridiculous levels of talent here! (This is my own fault for saying "surprise me!" when @alicornpig asked what kind of balloon animal I wanted.)
[Image description: two photos of different balloon animals using glossy, metallic materials help up against a cream wall in a pale tan hand with a bare forearm. The left-hand photo is of a snail; its body is dark blue edging onto teal, and its shell is lighter teal edging onto green. It is graced with a pair of long, elegant eyestalks. The right-hand photo is of a unicorn; its body is is a rosy bronze shade and it looks very cute; maybe a baby unicorn? Its horn is remarkably long and slender. End image description.]
Damn, you're spoiling us - we'll want balloon animals every year!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, @ZEUS-JAPONICUS!
It’s @zeus-japonicus and @fayrobertsuk birthdays so here are their birthday balloon animals (I used to be a children’s entertainer I wear many hats) ANYWAY go wish these lovelies a happy birthday!
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fayrobertsuk · 10 days
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Today on "Why is asking for help from people who have explicitly and specifically offered you that help in particular SO FUCKING SCARY?!" we bring you the people who offered to help me move house, who have told me that they can sort out the plumbing bit that the removal firm won't... and me going hot and cold before asking them if they could... do that...
Aaaaaaaaaaaah...
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fayrobertsuk · 13 days
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Occide, Regina
Made this for a friend who had someone give them the old "God makes no mistakes" line in response to them being trans.
(Image description in alt-text.)
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fayrobertsuk · 23 days
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So it was 1997 or thereabouts, and my best friend of the time had come back from her intercalated year and was finishing her degree. She also had a boyfriend who, I'm fairly convinced, fancied himself more than anyone or anything.
Anyway, I can't remember his name for the life of me, and four months of interaction before him dumping her in the worst way was not a decent amount of time in which to form the lasting impression that leads to retention of names, but I'll always remember this conversation, Sunday afternoon in her flat, after talking about Anne Rice books and watching random stuff on her TV, with him waiting until she was in the kitchen before asking fairly freshly out me "How do you know you're bisexual if you've never slept with a woman?"
Now, the tone may not come across here, but it was not the vibe of a man who was asking because he wanted pointers for his own sense of identity. I thought about how to translate myself into terms he'd understand, then inspiration bloomed in pixels in front of me and I pointed to the movie we were vaguely watching, saying "See Uma Thurman?"
"Yeah."
"Do you fancy her?"
"Of course."
"How do you know if you've never slept with her?"
I don't think he was expecting an answer, looking back. Certainly not a simple one. And, in fairness, he did say "Yeah, okay, fair point..." after he'd got over not being the smartest arse in the room.
But the thing is that what I hope for anyone who's still seen as not the default in society is that people stop asking us to justify ourselves. Trust that we've done the work of examining our own experiences and feelings on the topic unless we're asking for help in that regard.
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fayrobertsuk · 27 days
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🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿
Dydd Gwŷl Dewi Hapus, pawb! Cofiwch: wnewch y pethau bychain mewn bywyd.
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fayrobertsuk · 28 days
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every so often im struck by the memory of one of my college professors getting very angry with our class (art history of pompeii 250) because when she excitedly detailed the ingenious roman invention of heated floors in bathhouses via hearths in small crawlspaces, we asked who was tending the fires. she said "oh, slaves i suppose. but that isnt the point". and we said that it actually very much was the point. she had just told us that in roman society there were dozens of people, maybe hundreds, who spent every day of their enslaved lives crawling in cramped, hot, smoky tunnels to light fires to warm pools of water (which they were not allowed to swim in). how could that not be the point?
she wanted us to focus on the art, on the innovation of heated plumbing, on the tiles and decorations of the bathhouses, and all we wanted to do was learn more about the people under the floors. and she didn't know anything more about that. in fact, she said she thought we were focusing too much on superfluous details.
it feels almost hokey to put too fine a point on the idea im getting at here but i will anyway: There are a lot of people who are still under the floors. all these beautiful, convenient, brilliant innovations of modern society (think fast fashion, chatgpt, uber, doordash) are still powered by people working in inhumane, untenable conditions.
the people who run these systems want you to focus on the good - who doesnt love warm water? - but if anything is going to improve or change in our lifetimes, you need to examine these things with an attentive, critical, and empathetic eye. and for fucks sake stop ordering from amazon
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fayrobertsuk · 1 month
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It's been a long year and it's only February…
Well, it's time to put this out there: I've had a fairly shitty few years (like, haven't we all, obviously), but it's included a long, expensive legal battle against unscrupulous cysts, which is finally concluded satisfactorily save being left somewhat skint on the other side of it. Doesn’t help that said battle meant that I had to move house - not exactly a low activity on the expense and stress scales…
So I'm looking for extra work, to help while we wait for the Luxury Space Communism to kick in (I'd settle for Universal Basic Income or an end to the Housing and Cost of Living Crisis, tbh).
Things I do to a professional standard include:
Creative Mentoring and Tutoring (writing and performance techniques, especially for poetry - bespoke or standard workshops available for groups as well as one-to-one).
Project Management (feeling overwhelmed by a project you want to get off the ground and/ or run within budget and timescale? I can help with that).
Business Change Management (you need to expand or shift your business focus? I can help that happen in a well-managed fashion).
Performance Poetry (got a bunch of poems, 18 years' experience delivering them live, and a nice voice).
Writing to Commission (especially poetry, but I write both fictive prose and essays too).
Voice Acting and Narration (I've acted in audio dramas and narrated short stories, training videos, and so far one documentary).
Book and Pamphlet Production (I operate a small press).
Basic website setup and maintenance.
Training on any of the above.
I have a sliding scale of rates depending on customer circumstances, and you can book me for a free initial consultation via my website: https://www.fayroberts.co.uk/crass-commercialism/services/
And if you fancy just sending me money because you're generous, I have a ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/fayroberts
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fayrobertsuk · 1 month
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brb, setting this as my morning alarm.
to all my demotivated girls
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fayrobertsuk · 1 month
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FEDERAL INQUIRY INTO ADHD MEDICATION SHORTAGE ANNNOUNCED
IF YOU HAVE STRUGGLED TO GET YOUR ADHD MEDICATION, YOU HAVE 60 DAYS TO TELL THE FTC YOUR STORY FOR CONSIDERATION IN THIS INQUIRY AT THE LINK BELOW! The FTC must read all responses. So tell them about having to call multiple pharmacies, being unable to get generics, your struggles with insurance coverage, everything!
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fayrobertsuk · 1 month
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I must sleep. Sleep is the mind-healer. Sleep is the big-life that brings total ability to fucking do anything. I will face my bed. I will permit the blankie to pass over me and snores to pass through me. And when sleep has gone past I will turn the outer eye to greet the new morning. When the sleep has gone there will be everything. Energy and will to live will remain.
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fayrobertsuk · 1 month
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“I know I’ve told this story before, but my abusive ex refused to let me take birth control. I was on the pill until he found them in my purse. I went to the Student Health Center—they were completely unhelpful, choosing to lecture me about the importance of safe sex (recommending condoms) instead of actually listening to my problem. Then I went to Planned Parenthood. The Nurse Practitioner took one look at my fading bruises and stopped the exam. She called in the doctor. The doctor came in and simply asked me: “Are you ready to leave him?” When I denied that I was being abused, she didn’t argue with me. She just asked me what I needed. I said I need a birth control method that my boyfriend couldn’t detect. She recommended a few options and we decided on Depo. When I told her that my boyfriend read my emails and listened to my phone messages and was known to follow me, she suggested to do the Depo injections at off hours when the clinic was normally closed. She made a note in my chart and instructed the front desk never to leave messages for me—instead, she programmed her personal cell phone number into my phone under the name “Nora”. She told me she would call me to schedule my appointments; she wouldn’t leave a message, but I should call her back when I was able to. And that was it. No judgment. No lecture. She walked me to the door and told me to call her day or night if I needed anything. That she lived 5 blocks from campus and would come get me. That I wasn’t alone. That she just wanted me to be safe. I never called her to come to my rescue. But I have no doubt that she would have come if I had called. She kept me on Depo for a year, giving me those monthly injections in secret, helping me prevent a desperately unwanted pregnancy. I cannot thank Planned Parenthood enough for the work they do.”
Curious Georgiana (via grrrlstudies)
I know I’ve reblogged this before, but it bears re-reblogging (?).  This is how you respond to abuse, this is how you give people control over their bodies/uteruses, this is how you act as a generally non-judgmental and compassionate person.  I love this story so fucking much.
(via coffeewithants)
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fayrobertsuk · 1 month
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In mine and many other east Asian cultures, the dragon traditionally symbolises things like power, wealth and strength (imperial symbol and all)
I think we often forget that in the story of the Great Race, the dragon came in fifth because it'd stopped to give people rain. Then it'd stopped again to push a rabbit adrift on a log across the wide river so it reached the shore safely (that's why the Rabbit year comes before the Dragon).
Dragons aren't meant to just be powerful - they are meant to do good with such power, and to help those in need.
So in this lunar new year, I hope you gain more power, so that you might be able to help others. I pray you have abundant resources so you may give to yourself and those around you. I wish you courage, endurance, kindness and generosity, for yourself and your people.
I hope you, and I, will be rain givers, life preservers, joy bringers.
I hope we will be dragons.
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fayrobertsuk · 1 month
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Horrorcon UK 2024
Myself and a few voice actors from the NoSleep Podcast will be appearing at Horrorcon UK in Sheffield this May!
We’ll also be promoting other audio fiction in horror, so if you have any promo stuff (postcards/stickers) you’d like us to giveaway on our table, please get in touch.
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fayrobertsuk · 1 month
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Update: Apparently it's not just younger queer people we can support just by being out there, calmly and assertively ourselves. Yesterday a colleague in their mid-50s, in tears, took a huge breath and came out to me as asexual. It was the first time they'd said the words aloud, they said, and apparently their revelation that this is just them and it's not wrong was due to working with me, and the conversations we'd had, and witnessing me being professionally assertive about my pronouns, and cheerfully open about the range of human genders and sexualities out there.
I took pains to tell them about community, and resources that I knew about. I repeatedly told them that they're not wrong, and they're not broken, and all the other spiky, freighted words they'd used about themself, just part of the broad and wonderful range of human experiences across the world and across history. I told them about some of the friends and loved ones I know who are various flavours of ace and aro, including those with the same conformation as them. And that these are happy, friendly, well-balanced, highly social people of all sorts of ages, cultures, and genders, who happened to be on the ace spectrum, sitting under that letter "A" in the LGBTQIA+ acronym.
"That's me? The A?"
"Yes, that's you, darling."
"I... I thought it was Allies!"
"No. Allies are lovely, but A is for Ace. It's so all of us non-cishet folk can shelter together."
"I'm the A..." they whispered, awestruck, and I had to fight not to cry myself.
Later someone I'd been tapping for resources (and if you have any I can pass on, please let me know) found the right flag for me to send them, which I did, and today their voice is not only different from yesterday's, but different from how I've ever heard it. Lighter, larger, looser, with a persistent grin to it. I'm going to carry this with me a long time.
So to all of you who taught me about ace (and aro) identities, many of them on here, thank you, and please know you've made someone you'll probably never meet incredibly happy, half a century of accumulated shame lighter. Representation matters, and communication matters. And piece-by-piece, we'll keep dismantling the pain placed on us by the wilfully ignorant and unscrupulously vile alike. With love. And flags. And stories. And truth.
Okay listen, because nothing was ever going to prepare me for this, but when I first came out*, I had no idea what a profound effect that was going to have on other people.
I thought I was braced for the bad stuff, how some people’s fear about what your simple existence means can dampen, darken, and corrode your joy, your sense of safety. I wasn’t prepared for the scale of that, but that’s not what this post is about.
I had no fucking clue that my existence as a queer person taking up space could mean so much joy and relief for others. And I was utterly unprepared for how that has only increased as I’ve aged, and as the world has become more connected. Eventually, a young trans man explained it to me, saying that seeing me just… living, 30 years older than him, brought him hope, a model for the future, that there was a future, for the first time. Several others chimed in to say the same and I felt airless for a dizzying second. I hadn’t been able to really understand, until that point, why various younger queer folk would thank me on Twitter, call me and others like me icons. We’d shrug: We’re just… being, we’d say. Exactly, they’d reply.
I thought that things were easier for young, queer folk now. That they have more access to information and vocabulary and acceptance than we did, growing up. Hell, I might never have worked out my gender stuff if younger folk weren’t out there being loud about their pronouns, breaking down microlabels, and sharing their feelings about their existence.
And that’s also true, but being visibly queer, and over 30, and it not being a tragedy? That gives people enormous hope. That’s a landmark to reach, a future to picture yourself in. My life is nowhere near perfect, but it exists.
And heavens, it’s good to know that these proliferating silver hairs and wrinkles are beautiful signs for those who long for the decades’ stretch between now and then.
_____
(*still not quite realising that it’s something you do again and again, and sometimes additionally, if - like me - you find yourself going “oh, and this thing too”)
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fayrobertsuk · 2 months
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[ID: youtube comment from Hal Sawyer:
My favorite relic English still used everywhere is the word “the” used in phrases like: “the more I look at this, the stranger it seems, or “the bigger they come, the harder they fall”. This “the” is not the article of any noun, it is a different word, a conjunction descended from the old English “þā”, pronounced “tha” which means either “when” or “then”. Back in early Middle English the structure “if - then” had not taken over and if you wanted to express an if - then relationship you said “þā whatever, þā whatever”, meaning “when such-and- such, then such-and-such”. “þā” sounds almost the same as “the” and the spelling of the two converged, but the meaning remained totally different. “the more, the merrier” literally means “when more, then merrier” or “if more, then merrier’; same as centuries ago.
end ID]
this is so cool
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fayrobertsuk · 2 months
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i don't want flowers on my grave. i want them in a vase on my windowsill as i look out on another day where i'm safe and happy.
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{ID - three magnet poems, many words & phrases created by stacking multiple magnets
1 - "sorry to my unblood kin / you died / & I just wasted this given time / writing my weary poems / living under shadow / morning (mourning) like I know you"
2 - "you can't / bring them home / love them now"
3 - "transgender / day of / honour"
END ID}
i don't want flowers on my grave. i want them in a vase on my windowsill as i look out on another day where i'm safe and happy.
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