Folks have got to understand that they probably aren't messed up by some Secret Big Trauma that they just can't remember; but rather by a million tiny microtraumas that they do mostly remember but don't even register as traumatic because nobody actually understood that these things would cause trauma, much less stack on each other over the years.

And speaking of Sophia Tolstoy, her diaries are just so depressing. 

“I am to gratify his pleasure and nurse his child, I am a piece of household furniture, I am a woman. I try to suppress all human feelings. When the machine is working properly it heats the milk, knits a blanket, makes little requests and bustles about trying not to think […].“

She wrote this when she was 19, one year into her marriage to Leo and as she was pregnant with the first of his 13 children.

A few years later, when she was 25 or so:

“I am so often alone with my thoughts that the need to write in my diary comes quite naturally … Now I am well again and not pregnant—it terrifies me how often I have been in that condition. He said that for him being young meant “I can achieve anything”. For me […] reason tells me that there is nothing I either want or can do beyond nursing, eating, drinking, sleeping, and loving and caring for my husband and babies, all of which I know is happiness of a kind, but why do I feel so woeful all the time, and weep as I did yesterday? I am writing this now with the pleasantly exciting sense that nobody will ever read it, so I can be quite frank with myself […].“

During her 12th pregnancy she wrote about taking scalding baths and jumping from high pieces of furniture to try and miscarry.  And at one point while reading her husband’s diary (which he told her to read) she found the sentence “There is no such thing as love, only the physical need for intercourse and the practical need for a life companion.” In her own diary she wrote “They ebb and flow like waves, these times when I realise how lonely I am and want only to cry…”

A few years before her husband’s death, she published a cycle of prose poems titled “Groans”, under the pseudonym “A Tired Woman”.

The Girl King (2015) | dir. Mika Kaurismäki

people NEED to stop gatekeeping making music like ohhhh i don’t have an instrument ohhhhh i don’t know music theory ohhhhh i’m not gonna pay for some program. SHUT UP. take my hand.

you need NONE of that shit!!!!! there’s a website called beepbox.co. literally all you have to do is press things until it sounds a modicum of nice. it’s easy it’s free and it works on anything which has a browser because it’s a website.

if even ONE person starts making music bc of this post it will be worth it.

making bad music is just as important and okay as it is to write badly or draw badly or sing badly. you AREN’T BEHOLDEN TO MAKE GOOD MUSIC. making music is not utilitarian HAVE FUN. HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!

mutual 1: god i sure wish this thing i think about 24/7 was good mutual 2: god i sure wish this thing i think about 24/7 was good mutual 3: god i sure wish this thing i think about 24/7 was good mutual 4: god i sure wish this thing i think about 24/7 was good mutual 5: god i sure wish this thing i think about 24/7 was good mutual 6: god i sure wish this thing i think about 24/7 was good

we’re cleaning out our book collection and my dad REFUSES to throw out the like 2005 toronto public school poetry anthology that has my fucking, sasunaru fanart as the cover and i’m going to pass out

STOP no more live-action remakes. We're going the other way now. Animated Casablanca. Animated The Godfather. Animated Oppenheimer. Animated Fight Club.

worst part about getting angry is how much it makes you want to be mean

realizing that sticking to the "do it bad" "do it scared" mentality implies theres also a "do it bored"

Good morning. This is the best fic comment I have ever received.

Lamb to the slaughter

Anastasia 1997 is such a funny movie in that it's opening sequence is like, "the Romanovs died because rasputin put a curse on them AND NO OTHER REASON DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHY THE ROMANOVS ARE DEAD OKAY IT WAS RASPUTIN"

This is a REALLY weird poll but I have to know if I'm the only one who gets very affected by music itself (not just the lyrics or because you like the artist or because a song reminds you of something sad) so...

pls reblog friends I'm so curious <3 <3 <3

hearing officials and public figures criticize biden openly on talk shows and seeing newspaper headlines sharply decry israel killing aid workers is making me feel kind of crazy. like it could've been like this the whole time. before 40,000 palestinians were killed and the infrastructure of gaza destroyed. it could've been like this when people gathered their children in plastic bags at al-ahli hospital, when a poet and his family were assassinated for a joke, when journalists buried their families on air, when children were targeted by drones on camera, when a little boy holding his grandmother's hand in one hand and a white flag in another watched her get shot and die in front of him, when a cameraman was left to bleed out with a live counter for hours while his rescuers were shot, when patients were bulldozed in their tents in the courtyard of a hospital, when four babies were left die and decompose alone in their hospital beds, when six year old hind rajab was crying for help trapped in a car with the corpses of her family on the phone with the red crescent for hours until she and the rescuers sent to get her were killed too.

Something I do not see discussed a lot about Laios in Dungeon Meshi is how his fascination with monsters exactly ties into his autism. Like, yeah, sure monsters are kind of his hyperfixation, but it is more than that.

It is actually a very common phenomenon that autistic kids do feel like they are not human. Simply because they often get treated so much as "other" for not getting those invisible human rules that everyone else instinctively understands. Like, I do not know a single autistic person, who not at some point during their childhood reasoned that they must've been or should've been something non-human.

I personally (growing up in a very oppressive religious household) thought I must be a demon of sorts. Another autistic friend ended up reasining, they must be a changeling child. A japanese autistic friend spend most of her childhood and youth convinced that she is a kitsune that somehow got stuck in human form and now did not know how to turn back.

And when I see Laios fantasizing about being a monster, when I see his deepest desire being to get that monster form he knows he should have... Yeah, that is what I see there.

dungeon shitpost