Spottedleaf x scourge.

scourge named her after his favorite thing and spotted thought it was funny as hell. her full name is blood sausage but spotty finds it a bit much.

At the local lake, this is around the time of year when they do the fish stocking. It's artificial, but it happens to the real lakes, too. Right now, the water is finally thawed out just enough that the park supervisor can roll up a big ol' truck full of fish and dump them into the water. They'll live happy, contented lives in the lake, unless they bite a hook, are abducted by clever seagulls, or someone finds the drain plug at the bottom again like they did back in August of '88 and lets all the water out.

Because the park is really cheap, the community association was looking for someone to pick up the truck, fill it with fish, and drive it to the lake. Since I had no real job at the moment, and needed something to check off the "community service" section of my parole documents, I decided to volunteer. Long-time readers may recall that I also have a small amount of affection for the operation of internal-combustion automobiles, which is a bonus.

Everything went great at the pickup. It turns out that my buddy Halvin was working in the town motor pool and made sure to give me the oldest, shittiest GMC Kodiak in the lot because it would make me more comfortable. What a guy. I was so overjoyed that I didn't even tell him it was me who backed over his mailbox last Christmas. Why ruin the moment?

After some hot twin-stick action to get across town, I was at the fish hatchery. You might not be familiar with one of these things, if you live a boring life. Me, I'm here at least once a year, mostly because their dumpster always has a lot of only-slightly-expired silicone sealants thrown away in it. It was here that I encountered my primary obstacle in completing Mission: Fish Flow.

As for what happened next, the exact details are still being worked out by my attorney. In my defence, however, I have been authorized to state that having over one thousand fish in the back of your 1970s cargo truck should qualify you for the car-pool lane, even if you do ram a state trooper, who – by the way – was riding in the car all by himself, the fucking hypocrite.

we talk a lot about ohhhh what if my calling is to be the greatest mammoth hunter ever and I'm wasting my talents in the modern era but we never think about what if Thog from 30,000 BCE was the only person ever born who could get a sub-7min Donkey Kong Country any%, and he never got the chance. what about thog

all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.

The US military emitted 640 times as much CO2 as Taylor Swift last year

Look at this man.

They stand out quite a bit with their spines, that fade into a light magenta, and intense purple-blue eyes.

ID : 5022

oh thats just a whole bunch of frills. bushy + frilly + deco back spines are something

I would like all Americans (and everyone else) who are excited for the Superbowl to know: Before the actual Superbowl there's a live tournament on TV, here in Germany, called "American Ice Football".

It is exactly what it sounds like: American Football but played on Ice, in shoes with entirely smooth soles.

It's a tournament with 4 teams and they are called Eastside Ossis, Westside Wessis, Northcoast Naughties and Southside Smoothies and it's just hilariously entertaining.

Here's a video to show you how stupid it looks:

this guy gets it

the circus was in town that day 🤡

Lil Nas X did a cover of Jolene and Dolly Parton responded to it on twitter

Image descriptions under the cut

[ID: Screenshots of two tweets. The first one is by Dolly Parton and it says "I was so excited when someone told me that Lil Nas X had done my song #Jolene. I had to find it and listen to it immediately…and it's really good. Of course, I love him anyway. I was surprised and I'm honored and flattered. I hope he does good for both of us. Thank you @LilNasX". The second tweet is Lil Nas X responding to the Dolly Parton tweet by simply saying "HOLY SHIT" in all caps. End of ID.]

happy dungeon meshi thursday

A masseuse

Idk if someone made a gif of this already, but I had to