everythinglgbtqia
Everything Gender, Mental Health and Sexuality
A safe space for anyone who is non-binary, transgender or even just curious. It also posts about mental health and sexuality. I am a bisexual autistic transgender male so all questions or whatever are cool. All art credit goes to original artists unless otherwise specified.
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yes, you say you respect trans women, but do you? do you correct your language & behavior when you say and do things that misgender them? do you change or stop using gendered terms when asked? do you accept when something you've done was transmisogynistic, even if you didn't realize it was, and work on the behavior? do you listen when transfems talk about their issues, or do you use them as a jumping point to talk about your issues instead? do you respect trans women who don't perform femininity at all? do you support butch trans women? do you respect trans women who are also men?
do you respect trans women who can't or refuse to medically transition? do you respect fat trans women and trans women of color and listen when they talk about the struggles that fat women and women of color face? do you respect asexual, agender, intersex, traumatized, dysphoric, & other trans women who don't want to have their genitals be at the forefront and/or the primary focus of their transfemininity? do you respect when a trans woman is tired of being reminded that they're pretty/hot every time someone affirms their gender and just wants to know they are respected as a human being and not an object to be stared at?
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psst. hey
people who are legal adults who want their tubes tied or top surgery etc etc should be able to do so full stop.
"oh but what if they regret it for the rest of their lives"
okay. so what.
Adults make decisions about our lives, that's what being an adult is. We may decide to get a face tattoo, or quit a promising job, or join the army, or move to another country.
That's practically all we do as adults. We make decisions that effect the rest of our life, and then we live, or sometimes die, accordingly. Maybe i'll spend the rest of my life regretting telling my influential boss he doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground, but, as an adult, that's the kind of life decision i am allowed to make for myself. And after all, it might be the best thing i ever did. It's my life, and i get to do all the fucking around and all the finding out i want to.
surgical transition, or sterilization, or whatever... is exactly the same. If you aren't going to let a legally adult person decide for themself about that stuff, then you can't let them get a tattoo or move to Florida either
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They say ‘don’t let autism define you’ not realising my entire life is through the lens of being autistic…
Neurodivergent_lou
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“Your trauma made you stronger. “
Oh yeah, sorry, forgot my trauma is something to be grateful for because clearly being “stronger” was more important then being a kid.
Being “stronger”, was the blessing in disguise I never knew I needed.
Just because I’m “stronger” doesn’t mean I’m better. It’s called trauma for a reason.
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"ohh what if my kid starts identifying as a CAT because of the trans agenda we have to prote—" well they've always done that. do you remember the psychological effects of h2o on young girls. of warrior cats on autistic children. i believed i was a demigod because of percy jackson. twilight came out and kids were telling their friends they were secretly vampires. this is just a thing kids do. worry less
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Autism & Overwhelm
'The same activities that can cause a meltdown one day may not have the same effect the next day, but why is this?
'Each activity we do or stimulus we come across adds to "The Bucket." Stimuli might be something as simple as bright lights or background noise. Things we enjoy can also add to the bucket.
'As each individual stimulus adds to the bucket, the water level begins to rise. Some activities that can calm us such as stimming or time alone can help empty the bucket before it overflows.
'If things are added to the bucket faster than it slowly empties, the bucket can overload, causing a meltdown.
'Meltdowns are different for everyone. Please give us space and time and don't judge us. Meltdowns are out of our control.'
I CAN Network Ltd
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it is perhaps more helpful to move the conversation away from “it’s okay not to be productive” to “we need to have a long hard think about what counts as productivity”.
if you’re ill (chronic or otherwise), it is productive to spend a day sleeping and resting up. your body needs you to rest so that it can heal.
but something that is true for everyone is that things like healing from trauma, learning new things, practicing hobbies, building relationships… are all productive ways to spend your time. just because you’re not making money doesn’t mean you’re not being productive.
looking after yourself is productive. looking after others is productive. hell, playing with your pet is productive.
productive means being in a state of producing something. that’s all it means. and when you’re doing the things your body needs you to do… you’re producing your own well-being. you’re producing neural pathways. you’re producing happiness.
if you can feel a sense of productivity from non-traditional productive actions… I think that’s a lot more helpful for your mental health than just claiming that productivity isn’t important. of course it’s okay to not be productive. but I know I feel better when I think of happiness as something I can produce.
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At some point you’ve made a subconscious decision that’s saved your life without even realising
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Here's to the people who weren't abused by their parents, but whose parents sucked anyways. Here's to people whose parents fucked up raising you out of ignorance and not malice. Here's to the kids whose parents didn't know what to do with you so they did nothing at all. Here's to people whose parents are getting better and growing as people but still hurt you. Here's to every mean comment that wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't come from your mom; here's to awkward family dinners because you're all trying to forget;
here's to you, survivor of a thousand 'not as bad as it could have been' hurts. I see you. You aren't alone.
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"The trannies should be able to piss in whatever toilet they want and change their bodies however they want. Why is it my business if some chick has a dick or a guy has a pie? I'm not a trannie or a fag so I don't care, just give 'em the medicine they need."
"This is an LGBT safe space. Of COURSE I fully support individuals who identify as transgender and their right to self-determination! I just think that transitioning is a very serious choice and should be heavily regulated. And there could be a lot of harm in exposing cis children to such topics, so we should be really careful about when it is appropriate to mention trans issues or have too much trans visibility."
One of the above statements is Problematic and the other is slightly annoying. If we disagree on which is which then working together for a better future is going to get really fucking difficult.
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Yeah you're right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.
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Neurotypicals all need to be reminded that if you made fun of someone in school for being “weird,” you were making fun of autistic people and that’s ableist and wrong. If you don’t educate yourself and change, you’re a bad person.
Things I saw kids get made fun of for:
Walking on their toes
Communicating directly
Not making eye contact
Making too much eye contact
Having special interests
Not having the right interests
Having few friends
Trying to make friends
Being “too” happy
Feeling overwhelmed
Being shy
Not talking much
Talking too much
Having fun being silly
Being serious
Doing well in class (nerd)
Doing poorly in class (stupid)
Any noticeable stims
The way we eat
A lot of other shit
Yeah, those kids were neurodivergent and you were an asshole to them. Do you see all the contradictions in that list? You never actually had a problem with anything we did or didn’t do. You had a problem with our existence. The way we talked, walked, breathed, you bullied us for it.
What’s even more disgusting and insane:
Lots of these kids chose to spend their elective periods with the special ed kids class. Lots of them grew up to be teachers, SpEd teachers, psychologists, etc. not because they want to help autistic people, but because they want to feel superior.
A big fuck you to all of the bullies and jerks that treated us like shit simply for being different from you.
I hope you’ve changed, but I know you probably haven’t. You’re doing the same shit, all that’s changed is you’re getting paid for it now. Go to hell. (A very particular section of hell where you’re marginalized for your neurotype and forced into ABA therapy and treated exactly how you treated us).
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good morning my hot take for the day is that trans ppl should not have to apologize for the (usually incredibly rare) situations in which we may benefit from being perceived as a cis man. if a trans guy walks into a meeting and is actually listened to and taken seriously for the first time in his life because the people in the meeting assumed he was a cis man, just let him have that moment of finally getting the respect he should have been getting all along. if a trans woman was able to obtain a high level job in a male dominated field because she’s closeted and people assumed she’s a cis man, hell yeah girl use that salary to cover electrolysis. our experiences with like. Temporary Patriarchal Benefits can be incredibly rare, so as long as you’re not using those moments to be an asshole to other people, i think we should be allowed to have those moments without the entire internet breaking out into asinine discourse.
and like this doesn’t even take into account the times where being seen as a cis man may be less beneficial, like moc facing higher levels of police violence or men in general not having their mental health taken seriously (for different reasons than for others bc lord knows women aren’t taken seriously either).
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