LMAO

woops

LET me on the bed i promise i wont lay on top of you and squish u under my big dog weight please ple please please let me up i promise i'll lay only on a fair amount of bed for me and not take up all the space :3 please pleas (lying)

When you let your Jewish Grandfather babysit your dog… 

(Source)

For the love of god stop

a dead scene kid is trying to contact me through captcha

watcher leaving youtube... for a streaming service????

Am I wet? Am I on my period? Did I pee my pants?- next on wtf is going on down there.

I don't care what gender you are. Put on this slutty top and these tight shorts.

Unfortunately, Gilgamesh was too cool. He oppressed the people of Uruk, taking their lunch money and getting real friendly with all their moms. And so the people cried out to the gods for deliverance. "Save us," they said. "Gilgamesh is much bigger and hotter than us and we cannot stop him."

The gods heard their pleas and sent Bigfoot to kick Gilgamesh's ass. However, the gods overlooked one very important fact, which is that they were both bisexual.

The male orgasm is a myth

something was dripping from the live oak. I could hear it but I couldn’t see anything. It sounded like it was raining under just this tree.

Me: Oh this is kind of magical

Google: that’s