do you ever have a really perfect daydream

but then it starts to hurt

because you realise you’ve filled it with all the things missing from your life and you’re suddenly hit with the fact that it’s not real

and instead of being a happy refuge from reality it becomes a reminder of the gaping holes in your heart that only fantasies can fill

gentle reminder

it’s never too late to pick up an old goal and start working again

Zuhair Murad “Aquatic Serenade” Spring 2019 Haute Couture Collection

womanhood is having no clue what you actually look like because you look different everytime you look in the mirror depends on your mood

Make yourself a priority.

so i have made the decision to trust you. a horrible decision, really.

Luna 🌙✨ Gold foil prints are available at jenbartel.shop 💖

You must know… surely, you must know it was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope as I’d scarcely allowed myself before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. Matthew Macfadyen as Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy in Pride & Prejudice (2005)

Just discovered American actress Maude Fealy. Wow, what a beauty.

reasons to stay alive:

all the beautiful things waiting for me, when im no longer in agony and i already love me. the things that are meant to compensate the years of my suffering. the calm after the storm. the very feeling of having the chance to say, “i finally did it. im here. im glad im here.”

movies to be produced, technology and computers to be created, artworks to be made, and the mere existence of the future. will it be as technologic as i imagined it to be? i want to know. i want to see it myself

the delight and simple joy of seeing the sunrise; will it be as orange as yesterday? or will it be a little more pink? painting, taking snaps, and enjoying the scenery without having to worry about anything. the beauty of nature. i want to feel it every day.

the coming of the seasons. the smell of lavenders and sunflowers on spring. the ombré colors of the streets on autumn. the warmth of the summer sunshine. the coolness of snow on my winter skin. the concept of having to experience the cycle every year. the clothes i must wear on such. every little thing about everyday.

the pets i love. i wouldn’t want them to wake up and wonder where i am one day. i know what it’s like to be so alone in this place full of strangers. and i know it will break their hearts. the plants i keep. i dont want them to wilt and die bc nobody would water them miraculously as much as i do. i dont want them to lose themselves the way i lost me.

the books i haven’t read. the museums i haven’t been to. the songs i haven’t heard. the people i haven’t met. the simplest things that i haven’t done. i want to feel what it’s like to meet new things once again. i want to feel what it’s like to feel appreciated and to appreciate something one last time.

and the redemption. i want to be me again. i want to remember what it’s like to be me a few years ago. i want to wake up without groaning because i didn’t lose it last night. i just want to be new, to be reborn, to be beautiful one more time. and that will only happen if im alive. and that simple string of hope is what keeps me going. and i believe that simple string of hope will keep me breathing for the longest time. :)

We made a new advent calendar for this year! I really like how it turned out and can’t wait to get started with the treats!

Titanic (1997) dir. James Cameron

SHOUT OUT TO EVERYONE WHO STILL TRIES TO GET BACK INTO THE SWING OF THINGS AFTER DEPRESSION HIT THEM HARD. THERE ISN’T ENOUGH RECOGNITION FOR THOSE PEOPLE WHO KNOW THAT THEY’RE GOING TO LOSE INTEREST AND MOTIVATION AGAIN BUT PUSH THEMSELVES TO DO STUFF ANYWAYS. YOU ARE FIGHTING A DAILY BATTLE WITH YOUR OWN THOUGHTS AND YOU’RE STILL COMING OUT ON TOP, YOU’RE ALL BRAVE AS FUCK

the spirit dragons of hyrule