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dorliart · 2 hours
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Process of Plein Air ✍️
Music composed by Ryan Camus http://www.ryancamus.com/
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dorliart · 2 hours
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2️⃣🅰️Ⓜ️
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dorliart · 2 hours
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We're on a new platform with a totally different audience...we have to prove ourselves all over again...convince a totally new group of people to think we're funny and worth your attention....so allow me to drop some of my "A" material....the funniest thing I got.......here goes....... jeef berky
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dorliart · 1 day
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Tough grizzled guy at the biker bar: "How I got these scars? Heh... that's a long story, kid" (scene fades into a montage of mundane household accidents: touching a hot pan, running into a door, slipping in the shower, cutting a bagel wrong, etc.)
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dorliart · 1 day
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Ok so I know I posted the whole set, but I keep coming back to this particular moment-
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Because look at this whole situation. Aziraphale steps forward, directly into Crowley’s shadow. Not only is he getting closer, right into his personal space, but suddenly Crowley's face is going to be a lot clearer, not backlit anymore. At the same time the Crowley's hand retreats just a little from almost grabbing and dragging Aziraphale's cravat to doing a pointy finger. And then we have-
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Where the eye contact is basically the most indecent thing I've ever seen. It's just... a lot.
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dorliart · 1 day
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firefox just started doing this too so remember kids if you want to stream things like netflix or hulu over discord without the video being blacked out you just have to disable hardware acceleration in your browser settings!
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dorliart · 1 day
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"damn I'm crying over an insect" "why am I having such strong feelings over how the sky looks" "it's weird how happy this small thing made me feel" THAT'S BECAUSE YOU LIVE HERE!!!! you live on this earth. everything all the time is an experience, no matter how common or mundane. this world is unique. so are its small moments. it is good to enjoy a tiny thing. you love the world even at its smallest scale.
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dorliart · 1 day
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dorliart · 1 day
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it fucking sucks how you can do all the therapy and self healing in the world and you still have to wake up living under a capitalist death cult that's killed community and crushes your soul
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dorliart · 1 day
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dorliart · 2 days
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One of the kids I’m babysitting rn just asked me, “Miss Amy, can I tell you a secret?” and then informed me that his brother does not have blood anymore, because they saw a doctor take it
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dorliart · 2 days
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Ahem-
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dorliart · 2 days
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I mean that about sums it up
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dorliart · 2 days
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Alright, here's the flip side to my previous sea monster wives au fic, with Crowley first properly meeting Aziraphale.
This is also a massive rewrite from what I originally had.
Crowley doesn't speak English, or any human language really, naturally, but her species is a wee bit magical, they have ways to get words. You'll see that in this.
Warning: mentioned past injuries
On with the fic!
--
All she ever did was ask questions, seems a bit of an overreacting to completely ban her from her home waters.
But Crowley had been too curious, and a bit too vocal about these curiosities. Why has it been decades since her people gone to land? Why do they not interact with humans anymore except to occasionally sink ships for food (which she's not a fan of, humans have a terrible texture to them)? Why can't she go back to shore? It's been so long, don't the gods want them to interact with their creations anymore?
The elders spoke with the gods on this, and the gods decided that Crowley was a problem.
And she was banned.
She could never come back home, her waters were no longer for her, and when she tried to swim back into them, she was forced out. Quite harshly too, shot over a mile away by a strong undercurrent, it had been nauseating.
Any attempt to return resulted in the same way, forced expulsion.
She begged to come back, she had never been away from her people before, even back in the old days when they ventured onto land! She also kept close to fishing towns and ports, always near water, or near other members who used their legs as she had.
But Crowley was not heard, and she was alone in the ocean.
So, she left, and she swam.
She did not know how long she had swam for, so many moon cycles had passed. She did not find others like her, but had found other beasts of the waters she had never seen before. Monsters of massive sizes, hidden deep within the darkness of the ocean. They did not want her in their territories, or they wanted to eat her, she always made her escape.
The open ocean was lonely, and frightening. She needed to find a new home, maybe a new higher power that could help her. The gods certainly were of no help, no longer listening to her, not that they ever did. They always hated her curious nature.
Crowley went north, to colder waters. She had never gone north before, in the rare times her people left their home waters, they always went south. Warmer waters there, similar to home, but the north had always made her curious. What was up there?
Different sea life, for one, and she found shipping vessels both above the surface and below. She had seen ships like these before, in her home waters, trading vessels that went to the different human ports.
She had spoken to the humans who had sailed these ships before, after stealing their words. Oh, what were they again... English? Yes, they were English, from some island up in the north. She didn't recall the name of the island, it had different names depending on the different voices she took.
What a strange thing, an island with multiple names. Humans are an odd bunch.
Maybe she could find this island, see what's so interesting about it.
On her journey, Crowley had gotten caught up in a storm one night. It had been violent, the waves and currents pulling her too close to the surface, and in doing so, it allowed her to be caught.
She had found herself tangled in a trap, a net, with other fish that panicked like she had. The net had been pulled from the waters, and over the sounds of the storm, she heard the shouts of man.
She had been thrown against a hard surface with the other fish, and heard more shouts, this time of alarm and fear, of anger. In her fear and anger at being caught, Crowley remembered seeing the faces of different humans in the lights of a strange device, what was it called, a lantern? Yes, those things that hold fire.
She could see their frightening faces, shadowed by the swaying light in the wind.
One human was furious and screaming, pointing at her, holding up a strange looking item. She had seen humans wearing the odd little charm, shaped like two sticks tied together, it had been very popular in a few ports she had visited. Something about a human god.
The item was smashed into her face and she hissed in anger at this human daring to touch her. She clawed at his hand, and he screamed, blood coming from his hand. He yelled more and she tried to make her escape, turning her back to try and look for an exit.
But she cried out in pain when something cut across her back. Turning back, she saw a harpoon, it had been swiped across her back, shoulder to him. She screeched, a defensive attack, it would cause the humans to experience sickness and confusion.
She watched as the group dropped to their knees and hands, some being sick as her warning call rang over the sounds of the storm. Blood and salt had been so strong in the air, and Crowley was on high alert.
Then one human approached, looking unwell, but held up his hands in defense. His words did not sound angry, they sounded like they were comforting her, she didn't trust him, but he was unarmed. He looked easy to kill, a weakling, but he was brave to approach an injured creature like her.
She didn't know what he said, but he seemed to be ignoring the bleeding humans angry shouts. The weak human gently gestured for her to go over the side of the ship. She looked at him with caution before grabbing the railing and threw herself overboard.
Her back had burned when she hit the water and she didn't really remember much else as things faded for her.
When she woke up, it was early morning, and she was on a beach.
There was no sign of the ship, of the humans. The shore was rocky with high cliffs nearby. She could hear the sounds of the waves striking a cavern, a hiding place. Up on the cliffs was a strange structure, with a light spinning around in the early lights of the rising sun.
Crowley slipped back into the waters and went to the cavern, where she remained for days, trying to let her back heal. It had hurt, and she had a feeling that she hadn't had an easy drift to this beach when she had been unconscious in the water.
Best to stay hidden here, where it was safe. Even if there had been a moment where she had heard the sounds of young humans near the mouth of the cave. Crowley had tried her best to hide, she was never sure if they had spotted her or not. She remained hidden for a while after that, after the voices faded away.
After a few sunrises, Crowley left the cavern to explore the beach.
Only to stop when she saw a human at the shore.
She slipped behind some rocks, watching with caution. The human was not a man, this was a woman. She was, however, dressed like a man. Crowley may not have been around human society in a long while, but she remembered the female humans wore strange clothes that belled like jellies. Crowley had worn them before, when she stole them, she didn't like how complicated they were.
This human had long hair and wore those strange little glass things on her face, she seemed to be looking at something in her lap. A book? Yes, that's the thing, Crowley remembered those. Popular with humans, full of things she didn't understand, but there were images. She liked the images.
The human just sat at the shore, reading quietly, sometimes making soft sounds of surprise or excitement as she looked at the pages.
Crowley watched her for a while, not sure why she didn't turn away. The human wasn't doing anything important, but it was just... it was so different from what she normally saw humans do. Often, they were moving about, talking and shouting, doing all sorts of things that never made a lick of sense of Crowley.
They were also often fighting and roughhousing, they were always moving.
This one just saw quietly, seeming to be in her own little world.
And she was like this every single time she came to the shore.
Crowley watched her for days, sometimes the human would be alone with only the book, which sometimes changed, or she'd bring a basket and would eat from the contents inside, again with a book in hand.
And Crowley watched her every single time.
Some days the human would not be there, and Crowley actually felt disappointed and sad. Why should she? She didn't know this human, didn't even talk to her, not that she could.
Still, Crowley looked forward to seeing the human.
And today was no exception, there was her human, coming down to the shoreline, though there was no book in hand this time.
Crowley watched her, seeing that the human looked so upset as she looked over some pieces of paper. She had even cried a little, and Crowley felt angry.
Who would dare make her human cry?
Her human?
She pushed that thought away.
"Stop being ridiculous, Aziraphale." Crowley perked up, hearing the voice. "You should have known better."
The human was talking, but seemed to be addressing herself. Crowley watched her, what did she say? It was a name, right? A... Azira... fell?
Azirafell?
Was that her name?
It was pretty.
She watched her sit in the sand, looking over the papers again, before she put one away, then released the other one. Crowley watched as it moved about in the wind, before landing on the water, right near her.
She institutionally reached out, snatching it up. She sniffed it, angry at the letter, had this been what made Azirafell cry?
She tore at it with her teeth in revenge, then promptly spat it out. Disgusting!
"Hello?!"
Crowley tensed up, was Azirafell calling out to her? She slipped behind the rocks, no, she shouldn't be seen, this would be bad! Right? "Oh, oh please, don't hide! It's... it's okay!" The voice sounded worried, but didn't sound angry or threatening.
Crowley remained hidden, but did peek, just a little bit, and saw Azirafell starting to walk along the long chain of rocks, heading right for her. She slipped lower into the water, making worried clicking sounds, clawing at the rock. What should she do? Should she swim away? Stay?
"It's alright, I won't hurt you." Azirafell said in such a sweet, soft voice. Crowley didn't understand a word of it, but she understood the tone.
She... she was going to stay.
She was going to meet this human.
She moved out of her hiding spot and looked at Azirafell.
Once, when she had been in an Italian city that seemed to float on water, Crowley had entered a building with beautiful glass images that shone in the sun. There was one of these images that contained a strange, winged human. A human had told her that this thing was called an angel.
The sun that shone above Azirafell made her glow like that image, like an angel.
She was beautiful.
And Crowley wanted her.
She moved fast, bursting from the water, and Azirafell was on her back, staring up at Crowley with such gorgeous eyes, like water before a storm.
Crowley grinned and leaned down, kissing those soft lips.
In her culture, to learn human tongue, the gods allowed her kind a special gift. A kiss could take words and they could speak the human's tongue, to a point. To take the tongue, you knew their main language. To take the breath from them completely, you never every language they knew.
A kiss was all Crowley needed, a simple, little kiss.
And she purred, pulling back to look at the blushing human under her.
"Angel." She said, smiling.
--
Crowley probably should have asked, but she doesn't know that's an option.
Also, she fell in love pretty quickly with Aziraphale but doesn't understand it. At least not yet, and when she does, she is going to try and court her. Mate! Mate! Human wife!
Shadwell is the one who tried to press a cross to Crowley's face, thinking she's a demon. Newt helped her escape.
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dorliart · 2 days
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I got a laptop with Windows 11 for an IT course so I can get certified, and doing the first time device set-up for it made me want to commit unspeakable violence
Windows 11 should not exist, no one should use it for any reason, it puts ads in the file explorer and has made it so file searches are also web searches and this cannot be turned off except through registry editing. Whoever is responsible for those decisions should be killed, full stop.
Switch to linux, it's free and it's good.
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dorliart · 3 days
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we all talk about az being out of touch w technology but what about crowley. when does mr. “crowley automatically assumed all vehicles he drove would have cassette players and therefore this one did” “he forgot abt speakers so his sound system just works perfectly without them” find out no one uses cassette tapes anymore. when does he find out fax machines are obsolete. does he know what body wash is, bc he doesn’t need to shower and he doesn’t go to the grocery store. has he ever seen a granola bar. does he know about automatic transmissions. if crowley hadn’t invented fruit roll-ups i don’t think he would know what they were. there are unplumbed depths here. crowley doesn’t interact with the world like a human any more than aziraphale does and i think we may have forgotten that
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dorliart · 3 days
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hard to believe there are actually people out there who think that big noses are ugly and unattractive … like what the fuck is wrong with you ?
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