ok tumblr.

settle a disagreement

(if it doesn't even have a name where you live, select the 'no' option please!)

(if YOU have to work but most people in your region don't, select the yes option)

reblog for sample size! THANK YOUUUUUUUU

(i forgot to change the time this runs for NOOOOOOO)

reblog to give the person you reblogged from the strength to complete The Task™

the mining dwarfer seems to pick his axe at night

I wondered why green is so associated with hope and then I remembered being 8 and seeing a little plant sprout after a few days of waiting and. Yeah. I get it now.

Today my toddler INSISTED we open every sauce that came with our Chinese take out so she could sample every single one. She didn’t care for the spicy mustard, she LOVED the soy sauce, she said BLEH BLEH to duck sauce, and she said OH SO GOOD to sweet and sour

She then decided she needed to shove an ENTIRE crab Rangoon into her mouth which gave me a heart attack but she did in fact manage to eat the entire thing with minimal effort on her part. This was after she chanted “RANGOON RANGOON RANGOON!” at us until we gave her one.

Kids are fun and I am exhausted

Not expalining WHY bookburning is bad and WHAT books were targeted has left us with Bookworm uwu girlies treating any art project or act involving destorying/modifying any random ass mass printed novel as if it was a crime against humanity

The Addams Family // New Neighbors Meet the Addams Family

Pro tip for adulting: being late isn’t a death sentence for 95% of things. All you gotta do is call the moment you realize you’re gonna be late, apologize, and then give another small apology when you get there. The thing people really don’t like about lateness is that it seems like the other person doesn’t value their time, and since calling shows that you value their time, that leaves only the mild inconvenience of waiting a bit for them to deal with

this is the fourth time my cat has pressed the power button on my computer and turned it off

was looking up juvenile coopers hawks for id reasons and accidentally discovered the most pathetic wet idiot I've ever seen

Wearing character shirts when you have breasts

Imagine being the only person alive who can say this

went on someone’s blog who didn’t post in over a year and their last post was about getting married. like your marriage is more important than posting on tumblr? grow up

okay tumblr’s exclusion from the twitter social media ban list is hilarious but genuinely we do not belong on there. if a real human person asks “where can i find you on social media” and your choice is a swift death or revealing your tumblr, most of us would simply expire. half of y’all change urls every week like you’re in witness protection. just imagine for one second attaching your wholeass government name to your latest two am clownposting and tell me that didn’t send a cold chill down your spine. the only place i ever want to see the words “connect with me on tumblr!” is on the ao3 profile of an author i’m actively stalking. anyone in the world can follow me except anyone i personally know. antisocial media.

As it is Passover again, it is time for the annual debate as to whether the frog plague, which thanks to a quirk in the Hebrew, is written as a plague of frog, singular, rather than the plural, plague of frogs, was in fact, as generally imagined, a plague of many frogs, or instead a singular giant Kaiju frog. This is an ancient and venerable argument that actually goes back to the Talmud because this is what the Jewish people are. If we can't argue for fun about this sort of thing, what are we even doing.

In that spirit, I would like to submit a third possibility, which is that in fact it was one perfectly normal sized frog, who was absolutely acing Untitled Frog Game: Ancient Egypt Edition. One particularly obnoxious frog, who through sheer hard work, managed to plague all of Egypt.

you will not guess where this ao3 summary is going