Wow guys .. really do just get under someone else, that advice is bible.

And the shirt was.....

BROWN !

I'm gonna choose to believe that was just the wildest fluke the last 2 weeks and we're in the clear.

Also, realizing that he's just inherently Daddy™. He's in class talking about collecting houses and like, sir?? If you're gonna be hot can it not be effortless. At least pretend you're trying.

He was also a lot more direct and, idk, calm(?) with me yesterday though, which felt normal and was very appreciated.

he hurt me (treated me like every other student) but it felt like true love

Alright men, today's the day we've been training for.

If that shirt is blue we're sprinting off the top of the parking garage 👍

Y'all ever psychologically hack your own brain to make you stop being attracted to a man?

Because that's what I've been up to and I can't tell if it's working or just making me generally apathetic to most things??

Like, that is a risk I run, but atp I'll roll the dice. Also to do this I might begin to view things I admired about him as things I dislike so that'll be interesting. Sounds not fun.

So I guess I'll keep y'all updated on how rewiring my brain and forcing myself out of it works. What's a little experiment with your brain and emotions among friends, you know? What could possibly go wrong?

Ok boys, until next Monday's verdict we're still running this blog as scheduled.

So, tell me why I've noticed that he's exceptionally good with names, especially w students who give a shit and yet he will go through any other option than addressing me by name.

Mumbling (he's not a mumbler), whispering, breaking eye contact, addressing what work I've done but not my name, stumbling on his words, saying another name???

It happened again last class bc I think he read across my name without expecting it to be there, he usually won't read the results of things if my name is at the front. I was hoping this was a last semester thing.

Like sir, I disengage with you so hard-- it's ok, you can say my name it's not like I'm a sleeper agent. What'll happen, I just jump your bones??? C'mon, please this is cruel and unusual.

Unless he genuinely dislikes me in which case that's so cool and awesome. But you can't dislike me anymore than I dislike myself in this situation so take that

Ok, either it's a coincidence or god forbid it's not this means you'll take my requests so...

No Dr, I meant wear the other blue shirt. Not the school blue one either, it's somewhere between. Does wonders for your skin.

It'll help me pay attention. It's good for morale. A net positive.

I--

I have nothing to say.

Any disappointment cannot outmatch my own in myself.

Hi, sir.

Didn't know you had a Tumblr. But I should've seen this coming.

You looked great today.

If this outfit doesn't make him want to bang my brains out idk what will y'know

You need to get a wingman to help you bag that dilf. It can happen. Few years ago when I was in undergrad a friend I had a terrible crush on had a huge tc on one of our major's profs. At one point we did a group academic research thing for a conference and I (intentionally) messed up the hotel booking so they would have to split a room. anyway she got her back blown out and that could be you too. Live the dream.

This is genuinely inspirational, anon. You're right, we just need to get our head in the game.

But also you had a crush on them and still pulled that out?? A real one. So sorry if that whole ordeal sucked for you.

Ugochukwu Damian Okpara, Notes on Desire

Forugh Farrokhzad, tr. by Sholeh Wolpé, from Sin: Selected Poems of Forugh Farrokhzad; "The Wall"

[Text ID: "your silent barbaric eyes / erect a wall around me."]

Laurie Clements Lambeth, from Veil and Burn; “The Spaces Between”

[Text ID: “I look at him and desire what I cannot have”]

  — Penelope’s Song, Louise Glück  

[text ID: Who wouldn't want you? Whose most demonic appetite could you possibly fail to answer?]

Oh also just remembered this but in last lecture he brought up the concept of "taboo situations" 👀

But is likely nothing at all, bc tbf when using roller skating as an example, then asking for safety measures my dumbass Freudian slipped and said "kneepads"

Like fucking kill me, I didn't even mean it like that. Of course that's the first thing my brain went to jfc

Literally one of the first deranged things I thought during our first lecture this semester was "he could make anything sound hot"

does anyone else love the sound of their tc's voice? their voice is so calming for me

me when he walks into class and immediately starts removing layers