Tired of being the bad guy

Anyone else feel like they just get shit on by their friends and coworkers rip on them for saying something slightly insensitive? I hate it, ive tried being nice all my life but I cant do it anymore. If someone asks me a question im gonna answer truthfully and if i said something someone doesnt like just talk to me, dont fucking send me a text bitching and lecturing me over unimportant crap   

I don’t know

Its nighttime for the 3,000th time, and im still alone and still depressed, and I can’t drink because of all the pain killers im on thanks to this wisdom tooth that needs to be removed for a billion dollars 

First Gen

I fucking hate being a first gen student. I have literally met no one else in any of my classes who is a first generational student. It sucks because none of them know what it’s like. I don’t live an academic life,  I’m not an intellectual and they are always shocked to find that I have nothing in common with them, I have no will power to be like them. I never had a proper schedule as a kid, no journal, no academic interests, I didn’t have any musical instruments and I wasn’t reading as much as I should. I’m from an uneducated background, like a family of high school drop outs, and so I’m constantly under pressure to compete with these nerds while being incredibly lonely around my Neanderthal family 

Fuck Life

It feels so long since I used this account and I don’t know if anyone will see this. Maybe I should go on reddit. 

For some reason everyone in my life wants to fuck with me. I spent a whole month waiting to get a part time job, then I finally show up for the interview and they hire me on the spot, and by this time I’m in the rut. I had to barrow money from my friends and family, I couldnt get any gov assistance, and everything was hard for me. And then all of the sudden I get a job, and it wasnt even the job I wanted. I was a fool, I made it seem like I was super available even though i wasnt because I needed a job so I wouldnt be eating roman noodles for dinner, but I had little time for work thanks to school. 

So far its been shitty, I hate my customers, and now I have a new boss who is fucking stupid. He doesnt know how to do anything, and then I needed a day off, a day, because my lab partners were super wishy washy about when to meet that I never got a date until the last second. 

Now, after being yelled at, and having to go to a meeting where i’ll be lectured about scheduling and time management like im a fucking kid, I have tomorrow off to do this stupid assignment together.

What do I get just a couple minutes ago, a text from my classmate asking if i can do it monday, WHEN I WORK, and that they didnt get what they said they would get. I know they didnt do this on purpose, and they probably have hard times rn too, but wtf. No i cannot take time off monday. Too bad the place we were planning on getting it from is closed tomorrow. 

Im only bitching about this because this is part of a never ending stream of bullshit in my life. I want to plan my dad’s 50th birthday on thanksgiving so I can have time to come home, nope we gotta do it the weekend before and so that means I had to ask my racist grandpa to come pick me up bc my car broke down, and I didnt have time to work my first shift, oh good, I have no money to buy presents and my sisters get him something to make me look like a jackass. 

Life is fucking stupid, I’m in a constant battle having to choose between family, school, work, friendships, and just having a life of my own. Nothing ever works out for me. I somehow pissed off god a while ago and since then I had no say in how anything goes, I make none of my own choices in life, I’m just on a ride, an emotional roller coaster I’m never allowed to get off. 

I wanted to make a low resolution photo with some filters over it and play music in the background. The music didn’t work so here’s the pic I made. I call it 

Lofty Delight 

Taco

I love having taco salad for dinner :p also turkey burger is a great choice for someone with a beef intolerance 

I hate mornings, at least my class goes to the cemetery today, spooky  

Hi

Haven't posted anything in a while, I’m really tired of school, can’t wait for this to be over and work that sweet 9 to 5 for years until I retire, and get sent to a crappy nursing home to rot and die :) 

Bored

Omg im so fucking bored

Long time no see

Hi, its been a while, guess we are all still trapped in a dystopian nightmare

hi

I wanna curl up into a little ball and cry until my eyes burn

3/30

Tee hee clumsy me I shattered my wrist and got put in a cast monday

I would be honored if this was played at my funeral, with strobe lights 

crab

I dont think theres any better song than crab rave, none can compare 

3/22

This is my 1st time a professor ever gave out letter grades and for some reason I feel stressed out, thank god I have my white claws, (I pretend they’re healthy)  

Every time I override a machine they literally wont do anything, they just stand there and scream at the threat until I shoot an arrow and then it’s showtime. I don’t know if I did something wrong or they just take a long time to attack 

divide

I like looking out my kitchen window and seeing the barbed wire fence my school put up around the woods. Really keeping us safe from the threat of nature :/