coffee-mage-sans-caffeine - Tumblr blog

coffee-mage-sans-caffeine · 17 days

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the only good innovation from facebook was the poke feature. tumblr needs the poke. when a cute girl is mass reblogging me and i don't wanna call them out to their face but i wanna go hey. i see you. being cute. rubbing your face on my blog like a cat. that's what the poke's for

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coffee-mage-sans-caffeine · 17 days

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COMMUNITY | “The Science of Illusion”

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coffee-mage-sans-caffeine · 17 days

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DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE (July 26 2024)

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coffee-mage-sans-caffeine · 1 month

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One of the most jarring things to me in a story with a medieval setting is when a character is so horny they rip their partner's clothes off. Textiles were expensive as shit! The labour costs were enormous! Until now. I've found it. It's the shirt that even in a medieval setting, I would go 'Nah, that's legit. No one is going to wait for that.'

#shirt #jaskier's shirts are his work armour #geralt wouldn't rip that off because he'd get it #buttons #hell buttons

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coffee-mage-sans-caffeine · 1 month

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coffee-mage-sans-caffeine · 2 months

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This was very lovely to wake up to. It's completely legit, in the replies people posted videos and pictures of the 'walk for El Vaquita', the fake protest to get El Vaquita desperately needed medical attention.

The comments in the tweet lead to celebration of a another Chilean comrade doggo named Negro Matapacos. And this is exactly the kind of education I want this month.

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coffee-mage-sans-caffeine · 2 months

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I don't take pics of strangers on the street but I had to capture this magical moment of a frazzled mail carrier being followed by a gang of wild turkeys that thought he was very handsome so I drew it instead. Enjoy.

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coffee-mage-sans-caffeine · 2 months

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Hippos. Mar A Lago.

judgement free zone: if you could successfully establish a species somewhere outside of its native range, what would it be and where? not without consequences, the consequences would be exactly what would happen if it was introduced there and thrived

personally im continually disappointed capybaras didnt actually seem to establish in the everglades like people were worried they might. i know its bad but i think it would be neat

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coffee-mage-sans-caffeine · 2 months

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I answered no, because I do not look like ANY of my siblings and I am the ONLY one with brown eyes, which makes it impossible to use their ID. But there's more to the story. You see, in my early to mid-twenties, I moved home, as many millennials had to. Nothing weird there. I have a younger sister. My younger sister is just shy of ten years younger than me. So she was a teenager. She was a teenage girl. A child. A child who is a teenager. I was an adult who was like 24 or something. My mother basically never talks about me unless she thinks she can get sympathy for it. Even as a twenty something living in her house, she never talked about me. She did, however, talk incessantly about my sister back then. At the time, my mother had the kind of job where there are family barbecues a few times a year. She always took my sister to these and I was Not Allowed. One came up and my mother had done something to her foot (I don't think she saw a doctor, so I'm not sure if it was broken or sprained or what) and my mother was unable to drive. I was a grown adult with a drivers' license. My mother NEEDED to take my sister to the barbecue to tell everyone all of her accomplishments. So my mother had me chauffeur her to the barbecue with my sister. She didn't want to pay the gas money for me to go somewhere else, so she let me stay. So I'm like 24 years old standing next to my mother, because I am NOT ALLOWED out of her sight lest I speak to anyone and risk humiliating her. My sister had fucked off to hang out with the other teenagers, so it's just me next to my mother. And people ask who I am. And I know better than to say anything my mother hasn't approved, so I waited for my mother to introduce me and she just kept saying "This is my daughter." Many of these coworkers did double takes because my mother had been BRINGING MY SISTER to these events for years with no mention of other children. And I look nothing like my sister. We have different fathers, different ethnic backgrounds, different eye colours. Our hair is similar in colour, but mine is dead dead straight where hers is wavy and lustrous. She's significantly taller than me. Every one of them called me by my sister's name. Every single one of them just assumed my 14 year old sister had just somehow transmogrified into a completely different, 24 year old person. But the best part? It forced my mother to admit to these people that she had another child and dear GOD was that woman humiliated by my very existence. Best day ever.

I'm not talking "to people who know you well" I'm talking "a stranger is checking your id"

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coffee-mage-sans-caffeine · 2 months

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COUCH POUCH!! Free Pattern & Tutorial

...called thus because they use upholstery-weight leather for the bag body, that in my case was in fact skinned off a couch. 🤣 Turns out they are relatively quick and easy to make, so I tidied up the pattern for printing and took pictures to document the process when I made another five of them.

First off, print your pattern, 100% scale:

The bag shape was a modified version of the pattern I used for the Morpheus sandbag, but sized to fit in the roughly 11" squares that my couch skin came in. It makes a bag that sits very well on a tabletop, thanks to the flat base.

Though it turned out to not be the most efficient use of material, because that plus-shaped pattern tessellates well, if you're cutting them out of a full hide, but makes a lot of waste when you're cutting them out of squares of material. A more efficient design would have a half-rounded front and back, and a gusset between them, like so:

Ah well. It's not like I have any shortage of couch skin, though for the next round I'm going to experiment with a more efficient pattern.

First step, trace and cut out the bag body from your chrome-tan leather:

Like I said, this was upholstery leather, but anything that's flexible and ~1.5 mm thick will do.

The flap and front need to be a stiffer leather though -- I used 7 oz latigo, but veg-tan would work equally well. (And then you could ✨tool it!✨)

Cut them out, and then use the pattern to mark where your holes are going to be. Mark the holes on your bag body too:

The latigo pieces get hand-stitched to the bag body, so I used a stitching groover to carve out little channels for the thread -- it's not strictly necessary, but it makes your stitches lay a lot more neatly:

Punch the holes shown below:

I used a ~5 mm hole punch for those, and a 1.5" slot punch for the belt loops. Some of the holes on the front piece you're not punching yet, because they need to go through both layers.

I put a dab of contact cement on the pieces (circled in white) to help hold them in place when I go to punch the stitching holes:

(Make sure you're not putting glue between the belt loops)

Wait fifteen minutes for the contact cement to dry until tacky, and then line up the holes and the edges and press the pieces together:

Punch stitching holes:

Saddle-stitch both pieces in place (takes 28" of thread per):

Now you can punch these holes:

(I used a slightly smaller hole punch than for the others, but it doesn't really matter.)

Now press the right sides of the leather together and sew up the seams from the inside:

A regular sewing machine should be able to handle this, though you will need thicker thread, a heavy-duty leather-sewing needle, and a walking foot attachment. (If you don't have a walking foot attachment, it is SO WORTH getting one, even if you don't expect to sew much leather. Seriously, I use it for everything -- once you go walking foot, you don't go back. 💀) Because you can't pin leather without leaving permanent holes in it, tiny binder clips can be helpful for keeping your material lined up.

What they look like when you're finished sewing:

Cut 19" of lacing for the drawstring, and 11" of lacing for the toggle:

I use the 1/8" EcoSoft lace from Tandy, I think it's stronger than real leather would be at that thickness. The only important factor here is that you need something with a bit of texture and friction -- a silk cord isn't going to stay closed, it's going to slip open.

MANY BAGS.

For these I used a wooden toggle -- cut another 8" of lacing, looped it through the toggle twice, and then made a tight square knot on the back:

But another option is putting a concho or a large button on the flap. The bag I copied this design from, in fact, uses a concho toggle:

Thread some beads on the laces to keep the ends from getting lost, and you are DONE! 😁

Happy Bagging!

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