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cloudspotterclub · 1 year

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reckless (j.p.)

Pairing: james x fem!slytherin!reader

Summary: You tend to keep everyone at arm's length, and they are more than happy to stay there. But not James Potter. It seems he's made it his life's mission to make you miserable, but you're usually able to tolerate his petty jabs. That is, until he pushes it too far and uncovers a truth about you. After that, the secrets just keep tumbling out, and James learns that some cuts can't be undone.

Word Count: 5.9k

Warnings: sooorta enemies to lovers, moderate injuries, cringe banter, slight angst, fluff, ending's a bit meh

a/n: I know I said I might post this in December, but I've just now stopped hating it enough to post it lol I'm sorry!

“Y/L/N.”

“Jesus, Potter!” You startled, scowling when your eyes landed upon the laughing Gryffindor.

James smirked as he looked down the length of the fourth-floor corridor, which was completely deserted. “Aw, what’s wrong? Did the floor clear out the second you stepped in?”

“I know you’re a bit dim, so I’ll spell it out for you. I’m not fond of company, and I came here specifically to avoid the likes of you. Do me a favor and kindly piss off,” you spat, turning back to the book in your hands.

James snatched the book away, strutting around as he obnoxiously read the front cover, “The Philosophy of the Mundane.” He paused, arching his eyebrows. “Hang on a minute, what are you doing with a muggle book?”

You felt your face redden in a mix of embarrassment and annoyance as you stared him down. “It’s not a muggle book. It’s a book about muggles.”

“That doesn’t answer my question. Slytherins hate muggle stuff.”

You fought to contain the building frustration within you, knowing James was baiting you. You weren’t going to give in this time.

You got up, walking right up to his chest. “You don’t know as much as you think you do, golden boy.”

The bespectacled boy leaned down, challenging you. “Yeah? What don’t I know?”

You matched his determined glare as you leaned up, your nose barely brushing against his. You allowed your eyes to briefly flick to his lips before meeting his pupils once again.

“I’d tell you,” you breathed, watching as the daring look began to leave his face.

“But then I’d have to kill you.” You smirked, ripping your book out of his now-lax grip.

“Hey—”

“Don’t tempt me, Potter,” you said boredly as you sat back down on the ledge by the window. “I already want to kill you, it’s just a matter of how soon you force my hand.”

He ignored your threat, sitting across from you in the cramped space. “What was that about, Y/N?”

You pouted your lips sarcastically. “Aw, what’s wrong? Never been flirted with before?”

James shook his head in disbelief, “You were flirting with me?”

You looked at him flatly. “No. Now go away.”

“No, wait, you never answered my question. Why are you reading a book about muggles?”

“Why do you always know where I am? Are you stalking me?” you asked accusingly.

James’ flustered expression was quickly replaced with a cocky grin. “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”

You groaned, regretting ever trying to engage him at all. You should’ve known James Potter wouldn’t stay rattled for long. “What’s it going to take for you to leave me alone, Potter?”

He clasped his hands behind his head, leaning on the wall behind him. “Tell me what I want to hear.”

“You’re Slughorn’s favorite.”

He snorted. “I don’t care about your stupid club.”

“Stop acting so jealous of everyone in it, then,” you shrugged.

“Come on, Y/L/N, stop deflecting,” James puffed out, “why won’t you tell me?”

You stared at him incredulously. “We’re not friends. I don’t owe you anything. And I especially don’t need to be civil with you, so consider it a favor that I haven’t hexed you yet. Leave while I’m feeling courteous.”

A disbelieving expression sat upon James’ face. “You don’t fool me. You wouldn’t risk detention for anything. Too ambitious for your own good, as your fellow Slytherins say.”

His words stung you in a place you’d tried so hard to never let anyone reach. That familiar rage and shame began to build within you.

Your voice shook as you tried your best to conceal your bubbling emotions. “Shut up, Potter.”

His smirk only grew wider. “So, what is it? Plotting the most effective way to murder muggles once you graduate? Got your Dark Mark already, Y/L/N?”

You gritted your teeth, digging your nails into your palms. “No.”

James clapped his hands in mock excitement. “Oh, don’t tell me you’ve got a soft spot for them now! What did it? Got your eye on a muggle-born, perhaps? No, that can’t be it. The only one you care about is yourself, you’d never care enough to—”

He cut himself off, his mouth hanging open. “Hold on.” The longer he thought about it, the more it made sense. “Are you a muggle-born?”

Fear pulsed through your entire being as James looked upon you in genuine shock. You’d tried so hard to get through school without anyone catching on. You were nearly there—just one year to go and you’d be free from the social hierarchy you’d tried so hard not to play into. Now, everything was ruined because you allowed James to get to you.

Angry, embarrassed tears poured down your cheeks. “You don’t know a thing about me,” you seethed, rushing to gather your belongings.

James’ face dropped as he took in the impact his words had on you. He began to reach for you as you got up. “Y/N, wait, I’m not going to—”

You furiously tore yourself away from him, glaring at him as hard as you could. “I don’t care what you do! Just stay away from me. I mean it.” Your voice quieted as your bottom lip quivered, “You’re a real dickhead, James.”

James was, for once, at a loss for words as he watched your figure storm away.

“Oy, Prongs, what’s the matter with you?” Sirius asked, jostling James’ shoulder.

“Huh?”

The long-haired boy frowned. “I asked if you wanted to try that new hex on Snivellus, and you just kept staring out the bloody window. Is Y/N out there or something?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” James asked a little more defensively than he’d intended.

Sirius cocked an eyebrow. “What’s got you so riled up? I just meant you’re always on her case. It’s all you use the map for anymore. Look, I’m all for messing with greensleeves, but she’s a bit of a dull subject. She hardly ever retaliates, and she hasn’t got any friends. Even the other snakes don’t hang around her. Pathetic enough on her own, don’t you think?”

James felt a nagging displeasure in the pit of his stomach. “Knock it off, Sirius.”

It wasn’t often that James felt remorse for his actions, but ever since he’d found you out a week ago, he had trouble feeling anything else. You had looked at him with such fright, as if he was about to attack you. He couldn’t shake the image of your tear-filled face, traces of disappointment evident as you uttered your final words to him. You’d called him worse things before, but you’d never said anything with such hurt and sincerity.

If Sirius responded to him, James didn’t hear it. He haphazardly threw his scarf on as he pushed past his friend. “I need to get some air.”

James briskly walked out of the boys’ dormitories, heading straight for the quidditch field. Maybe he could throw a quaffle around—physical activities usually helped clear his mind. As he made his way past the courtyard, he spotted you slumped beneath the shadow of a tree.

Your knees were curled nearly all the way to your chest, with just enough of a gap left for a book to be propped up against your thighs. James observed that you weren’t really reading it. Your eyes were looking far ahead as you made lazy motions with your wand, absentmindedly growing and shrinking a blade of grass. He took note of the way the other students were seated several meters away from the area you took up.

James ran a hand through his hair, the guilt nibbling away at him once more. This was a new experience for him, one that he wasn’t sure how to deal with. James figured there was nothing a little magic couldn’t fix. He hid himself behind one of the wider columns and stuck his wand out just enough for his spell to hit its intended target.

Your head shot up in confusion as your facial muscles forced their way into a smile. You scanned the courtyard, noticing James’ messy tufts of hair poking out from behind a pillar. Marching your way over there, you tried your best to rearrange your lips into a scowl.

James’ eyes widened as he saw you barreling towards him. Your demented grin was enough to send him running toward his original destination. He knew he was faster than you, but he gravely underestimated your willpower. As he came to a stop just outside the quidditch arena, you crashed into his back, sending the both of you tumbling to the ground.

You used the momentum to pin him down, sitting on his chest as you displayed your unnerving smile over his face. “Potter! Undo this right now!”

James bit back a chuckle as he fished for his wand. “Sorry, Y/L/N, didn’t think it’d turn out so psychotic.” He lightly tapped the corner of your mouth, sending relief throughout your face as you regained control of it.

You rubbed at your jaw, frowning down at him. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“I don’t know, I thought you could use a little cheer. You were looking miserable out there.”

“Yeah,” you muttered, “I wonder why. Look, will you stop torturing me and just get it over with?”

“What are you on about?” James furrowed his eyebrows, eyes darting to where your body met his. “You want me to kiss you or something?”

“No, you daft pig!” You reeled, hastily scurrying off of him. “I meant you should stop dangling my fate in front of me and just expose me to everyone already.”

He pushed himself up on his elbows. “What? Is that what you thought I was going to do?”

“Yes? Why else would you have been avoiding me all week? You’re taunting me, and you know what? It’s working. So just take your win.”

James cringed a little as he uttered his next words. “I was avoiding you because I felt bad. You looked so freaked out when I asked if you were a muggle-born. I was never going to tell anyone.”

You stood up, taking a few cautious steps away from him. “Don’t play games with me, Potter.”

“Blimey, Y/L/N, you really do have trust issues.”

“Forgive me if I’m hesitant to believe the boy that planted dungbombs in my bag for a whole term.”

James sighed, tugging at his curls. “Fine, don’t believe me. You’ll feel real stupid when you realize I was telling the truth.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “I already feel stupid giving you a chance.”

“It’s a natural urge.” The boy shrugged, getting up and dusting off his pants. “Want to fly around?”

“What? Hey—” James grabbed your forearm, pulling you into the quidditch arena. “Potter, what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

He picked out two broomsticks, throwing one at you. “Making you trust me.”

“JAMES POTTER, I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!”

James snickered, paying no mind to your horrified expression cast towards the ground, which was now about fifty meters below you. You had been hesitant to get on the broom in the first place—flying wasn’t really your forte—but James promised he only wanted to show you the goalposts up close. To your horror, the second you reached them, he knotted your brooms together and rocketed up into the open air.

His cackles rang in your ears, as did the growing wind. Your hands tightened around the broomstick’s handle, knuckles paling along with your face. After the initial adrenaline rush, you had been rendered silent by the overwhelming fear of plummeting to the ground.

As James got the last few laughs out of his system, he looked over to see your petrified face still staring downward. “Uh, earth to Y/L/N?”

You didn’t respond, eyes glued to the barely-visible field below you.

James’ eyes flitted towards your hands, shaking with the force with which you were gripping your broomstick. Again, he was hit with that annoying sense of guilt that had been plaguing him since your last encounter. He wished desperately for that feeling to go away.

He hesitantly placed a hand on your broomstick, causing your head to snap up towards him. He was struck a little by the intensity of your gaze—not hateful or upset, but pleading.

James offered you a clunky smile, quietly saying, “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

Although your grip relaxed ever so slightly, you still didn’t respond.

James frowned, that horrible feeling intensifying. “I’m sorry I lied. I really thought you’d like it up here.” He paused. “I should probably stop assuming things about you, huh?”

You gave him a small nod, slightly perturbed at the strange gentleness in his voice. “Yeah. You should.”

To say James was acting unusual would be an understatement. Since when did he care whether you were comfortable? You looked from his hold on your broomstick to the lines between his eyebrows. Something was definitely off.

“Do you want me to get us back down?”

Your face contorted in surprise and confusion. “Really?”

James gave a small, breathy laugh, shifting his eyes away from you. “Don’t look at me like that, Y/L/N. I’d really like for you to trust me.”

You weren’t sure if it was the high altitude or the new shyness in James’ voice, but you were beginning to feel dizzy.

You blinked at him. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” James tugged at his hair, gaze still averted. “Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’ve been an ass to you. I know you don’t think I’m capable of it, but I am trying to be a better person. And that includes not making your day harder than it needs to be.”

You considered this. “So…I’m some obstacle to tackle in your quest to be all self-righteous?”

“What? No, that’s not at all what I’m saying. Y/N, I sincerely want us to be on good terms.”

You narrowed your eyes, reminded of your conversation the week before. “Is this some hero complex thing? Befriend the lonely Slytherin mudblood so you can look big in front of all your friends?”

James was hit with unexpected hurt. Though he figured he deserved it, he hadn’t realized just how deep his actions had affected you before. The overwhelming shame he felt was only eclipsed by his intense desire to reassure you that he didn’t think so lowly of you. That you didn’t deserve to have anyone make you feel that way. That your pained expression made him want to do all he could to stop you from feeling that way again.

“Y/N, please,” his voice strained, “you have to know that’s not how I see you. I—I’m sorry that I’ve messed up so many times and so badly that you may never believe a word out of my mouth, but—” James stopped himself. But what?

The second you saw James’ face crumble, you knew you were wrong to accuse him of using you.

You waited expectantly for him to go on, trying to control the thoughts threatening to overtake you. You weren’t sure there was anything he could say that would get you to let your guard down. You were determined not to let him weaponize your vulnerability again.

Then again, you’d never see him so distraught. So desperate for you to understand. The soft voice, the wounded expression—you couldn’t tell if it was a performance. Either way, it affected you in a way that you didn’t like one bit.

James took another glance at your stony expression, and any hope he’d had that he could fix things with you died within him.

He hung his head, quietly uttering, “Nevermind. I’m sorry. I’ll take you back down.”

As James guided your broomsticks towards the ground, you felt an odd sense of disappointment. While you were confident it was pointless to hear him out, a small part of you was curious to hear what he had to say.

An even smaller part of you wished your moment in the air wouldn’t end so quickly.

Maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe he really did want to be friends.

Your head spun at the thought. Not because it was so outlandish—truthfully, you occasionally did enjoy the banter you had. Perhaps your unease was because the thought of you being proper friends was…disappointing.

You’d been feeling disappointed often lately, but never in this way.

Although body was turned away from him, his face flashed into your mind.

You’re okay. I’ve got you.

You flushed recalling his soft-spoken words when he made a genuine effort to comfort you.

Dread filled you. Could you actually have feelings for—

“Mr. Potter! Ms. Y/L/N! Detention!”

The air was tight with tension as you navigated the darkness of the Forbidden Forest. While you were unnerved by the mysterious echoes bouncing off of the looming trees and shadows that seemed to move every time you looked, you were more bothered by the frost that had formed between you and James.

Madam Hooch stopped abruptly, clapping her hands together. “Right! We’ll settle here, then. This is where I saw a few rogue broomsticks crash the other day. I want the two of you to find all three.”

You eyed the seemingly desolate patch of dead leaves and mossy boulders around you, nervously biting your lip.

James took notice of your stilted demeanor, hating that he’d subjected you to yet another awful experience.

He cleared his throat, speaking up, “Madam Hooch, I think it’d be much more sensible to have us search when the sun’s out, don’t you think? Besides, I’ve got a quidditch match tomorrow and I know you hate to see unrested players on the field.”

The flying instructor didn’t budge. “You should’ve considered that before using school-owned broomsticks and flying around the quidditch arena without permission. I’m surprised you don’t think yourself capable of this simple task, Mr. Potter. As a show of trust, I’ll be waiting just outside the forest. Shoot off a signal if anything happens.”

With that, she took off towards the castle, leaving you with two lanterns and a frustrated James.

He tugged at his hair, kicking at the ground. “I’m sorry, Y/N. Again.”

Your eyebrows knit together as you watched his shoulders hunch. With the way he tried to bargain with Hooch, you thought he’d returned to his usual cockiness. But here he was, avoiding your gaze again.

You shook off your thoughts, picking up a lantern. “Nevermind that. Let’s just find those broomsticks and get out of here.”

James quietly obeyed, walking behind you as you led the way deeper into the forest.

As the minutes went on, the silence between you was making you jumpier than the ominous howls that seemed to follow you.

Why isn’t he saying anything?

You snuck a look back at James, who was still walking with his head down.

This is ridiculous. You hate his stupid, squeaky voice. His unintelligent remarks. His insensitive insults. You hate him.

But right then, you hated the quiet even more.

You stopped. “Um, Potter?”

James nearly ran into you, looking up at the last second. “Shit, sorry. Did you find a broomstick?”

“No, just…are you alright?”

Your question took James by surprise, and he found himself smiling idiotically at you for the hundredth time that day. “I’m alright, thanks.”

You nodded, resuming your trek. “You were being real quiet. Thought you had died or something.”

He chuckled, falling into step beside you. “I assure you I wouldn’t go quietly. You’d know if I was dying.”

“Good,” you teased, “because I’d hate to miss it.”

James lightly bumped your shoulder, small smiles on both your faces.

You weren’t sure if you were ready to let him in just yet, but you were certain you were enjoying whatever this was. You figured this was as good a time as any to get some answers.

“Hey, James? Why do you hate Slytherins?”

He frowned, shrugging. “I don’t. I just pick on Snape because he’s such a dick to muggle-borns.”

Your eyes widened. “But he’s always been cordial with me.”

James scowled. “Because he doesn’t know you’re a muggle-born.” Noticing the discomfort on your face, his voice softened, “He’ll never find out as long as we’re at Hogwarts. I swear.”

You stared into James’ hazel eyes, finding nothing but sincerity behind them. His gaze bore into you, communicating far more than his restrained words allowed him to. It was like a vice that you didn’t want to be released from.

“Thank you,” you breathed, forcing yourself to look at the path ahead.

James tilted his head, keeping pace with you. “You’re not going to ask why I picked on you too?”

You chuckled humorlessly, “It doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out. We’re in rival houses and I’m an easy target. It’s not like you were the first.”

“What? No, hold on—”

You sucked in a sharp breath as James lightly grabbed your shoulders, turning you towards him.

“Y/N, that is not why I picked on you.” He tugged at his dark locks. “I mean, maybe at first. Sirius and I kind of went off on any Slytherin we could mess with during first and second year. It was dumb and I regret that immensely.”

James squeezed your shoulders, taking a small step forward. “But I continued to seek you out for…other reasons. Reasons that I don’t think I was even aware of until last week. When I was a complete dickhead. When I thought I’d done irreparable damage—that put a lot of things in perspective.”

Your heart pounded harshly in your chest. His words and the heat radiating off of him were making it hard to think. “James, you don’t mean…”

James took another step closer to you, forcing you to look up to see his face, which was now hovering just inches above yours.

His voice dropped to a whisper, “I think I do. Y/N, I—”

A loud growl interrupted James.

You both turned to see a large, gray wolf baring its teeth at you just a few meters away.

Your breath caught in your throat. You’d never seen a wolf that size before, at least not in the muggle world. It was easily two meters tall, with bulky muscles beneath every inch of matted fur.

While you struggled to react, James quickly pushed you behind him, shielding you as best as he could behind his larger frame.

“Y/N, signal Madam Hooch,” he commanded, though his voice was still low and tender.

You scrambled to shoot off a burst of light from your wand, which traveled up into the sky and towards the castle.

“Good, now listen to me,” he whispered, “I’m going to distract it while you run as fast as you can back to the castle, okay?”

“What? James, there’s no way you can outrun that thing—”

“Please,” he begged, looking into your eyes. “You might see me do something odd, but I don’t want you to stick around to question it. You need to run the second I tell you to. The second. Understand?”

His authoritative tone left you speechless, only able to nod.

“Okay,” he took a long inhale, “three…two…one…run!”

You took off as quickly as your feet could take you, but you were able to glimpse the scene you were fleeing long enough to see what James was talking about.

Standing in the spot where James had been was a large, brown stag.

Your pace slowed for just a second as it dawned on you.

He was an animagus.

You didn’t have much time to process this new information, desperately running in the direction you came. Whatever his plan was, James wasn’t going to hold his own against a giant wolf for long. You needed to get Madam Hooch before it was too late.

Your lungs burned as you blazed through muddy ground and jumped over fallen branches, your only thought being James. If something did happen to him, you didn’t know what you’d do.

You couldn’t lose him. You wouldn’t.

Just as the edges of the Forbidden Forest came into view, so did Madam Hooch. You frantically led her towards the spot where you’d left James, panting as you explained how the wolf had appeared.

As you arrived back at the scene, you saw the animal readying itself to swipe at the stag it had pinned to the ground.

“Y/N, you find James and bring him here. I’ll drive the wolf away,” Madam Hooch instructed, chasing the creature away from the clearing with a powerful spell.

The moment they disappeared from view, you rushed to the stag. In mere seconds, it transformed back into the Gryffindor boy, but something was horribly wrong.

You gasped, dropping to your knees as you looked over the cuts and bruises littering James’ body. A cut on his temple trailed blood down his face, and the area around one of his eyes was purple. Your breathing quickened as you saw the extent of his injuries, the worst being two deep gashes across his chest. “James. Oh my god.”

He gave you a pained chuckle, voice hoarse. “Surprise. Sorry for lying to you again.”

Tears pricked your eyes. “That’s—that’s not funny. James, we’ve got to go.”

He groaned as he attempted to push himself up, his arms immediately giving out the second his back was off the ground. You slid yourself under him, allowing his head to fall into your lap instead of the forest floor.

James winced through a smile. “Jeez, Y/L/N, if I knew this was all it took to get you close to me, I would’ve gotten hurt much sooner.”

Your mind was fractured, overwhelmed and unable to form a coherent thought. “What?”

“C’mon, love,” he coughed, spitting out blood. “You must know I like you by now. Or do I need to go fight off another wolf?”

The hopeful look on his face was like a knife in your gut, and it was enough for you to burst into tears.

“James, I—you didn’t have to do that! God, I never should’ve left you,” you cried, bringing a shaking hand up to stroke his cheek. Your other hand entangled itself with his, squeezing hard. “I’m so sorry.”

James grinned, leaning into your touch. “Don’t be. What matters is you came back for me.”

“Did you think I would leave you here, you git?” you half-laughed, half-sobbed.

“Nah, like you said,” he took a labored breath, his voice cracking, “you’d hate to miss me dying, right?”

You shook your head, tears spilling out even faster. “No. No, that’s not going to happen. I’ll kill you if you die on me now, Potter. Just focus on your breathing, James, please.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, letting out another low moan of pain. “I’m trying.”

Your grip on him tightened. “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

Just then, Madam Hooch returned and immediately levitated James’ nearly-limp form, hurrying the both of you back to the castle. You were numb the whole jog back, only able to stare ahead as Madam Pomfrey tended to him.

“What was that boy thinking, trying to fight off a wolf?” Madam Hooch tutted, shaking her head. “He’s a brave one, but I’m glad you had the sense to run, Ms. Y/L/N. Consider yourselves exempt from further punishment. But don’t let me catch you on the field unauthorized again.”

With a pat on the shoulder, she left the hospital wing.

As you zoned out, you were interrupted by a commotion.

“Mr. Potter, settle down!”

“No, where is she?! Y/N!” James shouted, limbs flailing as he attempted to launch himself off the bed.

You quickly made your way over to him, watching as he stopped fighting and sank back into the mattress. “James, I’m right here. I’m okay.”

He sighed, reaching for your hand. You entwined your fingers once more as you slid onto the small chair by the bed.

“Sorry,” he muttered, turning to Madam Pomfrey, “can she please stay? I might throw another tantrum otherwise.”

“You children will be the death of me.” She frowned, finishing up with his now-bandaged chest. “Don’t get any funny ideas or I’ll throw you both out.”

You turned back to James as she walked back to her desk. His face was considerably less pale, but one of his eyes was still nearly swollen shut. You could feel yourself beginning to tear up again as everything hit you all at once.

James frowned, squeezing your hand. “Can I get through one day without making you upset?”

You shook your head. “No. I don’t think that’s ever going to happen. How do you feel?”

“Awful. The girl I like doesn’t like me back,” he joked, though his delivery faltered.

You looked at him as though he’d grown another head. “First off, that’s not what I meant. Second, you’re an idiot if you think I’m sat here crying over you and holding your hand because I pity you.”

“Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t trust my instincts at all with you. You’ve made me feel so many nasty emotions this past week.” He began counting them off his fingers. “Guilty for disappointing you, ashamed for hurting you, and insecure for liking you.”

You giggled. “Good. You deserve to be as conflicted as I’ve been.”

“What did you have to be conflicted about?”

“I thought I hated you. No, I definitely hated you while I thought you were going to tell everyone I was a muggle-born.” You smiled. “But you didn’t. And then you were nice to me. Granted, your idea of ‘nice’ could use some work, but still. When we were up on those broomsticks, I started to wish there wasn’t so much animosity between us. And then in the forest, I realized I liked having you around. A lot. And then when the wolf attacked—I just knew I couldn’t lose you yet.”

James was smiling so hard, his lip was beginning to split open again. “Fuck, Y/L/N, either I’m about to pass out or you’re making me swoon.”

You shoved his shoulder. “Not funny. I don’t know how you can joke like that when you literally almost died.”

James chuckled, reaching a hand up to cup your cheek. “I don’t know how much longer I can sit here waiting for the girl I fancy to tell me she likes me too.”

You rolled your eyes. “Back up, Potter. I think I have the right to grill you first.”

“About what?”

“You’re kidding, right? You’re an animagus!”

James cringed, averting his eyes. “Yeah, I was hoping you’d forget about that by now.”

“Because you’re unregistered?”

He shot you a look. “What do you think?”

“You could end up in Azkaban for that!”

“I’m far too skilled at getting away with things.”

“Clearly,” you said, thinking back to all the times he successfully sweet-talked professors into getting out of trouble. “How’d you learn to transform?”

“A lot of trial and error. Took me a couple years.”

“How long have you been able to do it?”

“Since fifth year.”

Your mouth hung open. “That’s…kind of incredible. Hold on, are all of you animagi? You, Remus, Sirius, and Peter?”

James hesitated. “It’s not my place to say.”

“Right. Okay, do you have any other wild secrets I should know about?”

A smile crept onto his face. “Maybe. But I can’t possibly tell you everything right this moment. Gotta keep things interesting.”

Your brows furrowed. “Fine. As long as none of these other secrets get you killed.”

James’ thumb grazed the back of your hand. “The agony of waiting for you to tell me how you feel will kill me far sooner than any of my secrets, Y/L/N.”

You sighed. “Honestly, James, could you be any more melodramatic?”

“My melodrama is what kept us alive. Who else would be stupid enough to fight a wolf to save a damsel in distress?”

“Well, I’m not about to argue that you’re not stupid.” In spite of your light tone, the heaviness in the pit of your stomach remained.

James was right. If he hadn’t thrown himself at the wolf, you never would’ve come away from the encounter unharmed. His inflated ego definitely contributed to that decision, but it was a selfless act nonetheless. One he’d done for your sake.

You scanned his battered face, his relentless optimism shining through his features. You used to think this expression was a smug display, a symptom of his belief that he’d come out on top in any situation. But now, his wide eyes and faint smile held no sense of self-assuredness. Rather, they were brimming with tentative hope.

You cleared your throat, wiping the remaining tear tracks from your face. “Let’s get a few things straight. First of all, I am not a damsel in distress. I am perfectly capable of handling myself under normal circumstances. The only reason you had to step in today was because I do not normally get myself into such ridiculous predicaments. You got us into this because of your recklessness. Can we agree on that?”

James nodded. “Definitely an accurate assessment.”

“Right. Which brings me to my next point.” A breath. “Obviously, I care for you too. And I really would like to give us a chance, but,” your voice softened, “you’re reckless with a lot more than just hexes and broomsticks, James.”

James’ smile faltered, the implication of your words clear. He sat up, shifting towards you. “You’re right. I thought our exchanges were all in good fun, but I realize what were jokes to me were deeply hurtful attacks to you. I didn’t mean for them to be, which just goes to show how ignorant I can be. I know I can’t take it all back, but I am sorry for all the harm I’ve inflicted on you.”

His hazel eyes searched yours for a brief moment before he gingerly took your face in his hands. “But if you’ll allow it, I will try my hardest to make it up to you. I want to be someone you can trust not to break your heart.” You shivered as his thumb ghosted over your cheek. “I’ve never been trusted with anything precious, but I’d like to be worthy of you.”

You were rendered speechless at his earnest declaration. So, instead of replying, you closed the small distance between your lips. James instantly reciprocated, his hands squeezing your waist as he deepened your kiss. Your own hands tangled in his hair, tugging as he lightly nipped you.

You pulled away, slightly dazed. “What are we doing? We’re in the hospital wing!”

“I’m sorry, love. I meant what I said, but I’ve got to keep some of the mischief in my life.” You let out a small shriek as he suddenly pulled you onto his lap. His lips brushed against your ear, “You’re quite the temptation, Y/L/N.”

You were certain your face was beet red, but you couldn’t help the breathy giggle that escaped you. “You are a piece of work, Potter.”

He planted a kiss on your temple, sturdy arms secured around you. “I know.”

Another irritatingly cheeky smile was plastered across his face.

But for the first time, you were looking forward to being the reason for that smile.

#james x reader #james x you #james x y/n #james potter x reader #james potter x you #james potter x y/n #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #marauders #marauders era #hogwarts #harry potter #reckless 🍂

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cloudspotterclub · 1 year

Text

happiness pt. 2 (s.b.)

Pairing: sirius x fem!reader (primary), james x fem!reader (secondary)

Summary: It's been a week since your engagement party, and unexpected news brings you and Sirius together once again.

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: aNGST, fluff kinda, pining, probably not the ending y'all want (nor is it the one I want), uNrEsOlVeD fEeLiNgS, read part 1 first fellas

a/n: It took me three months to post this for no reason, I am so sorry. I don't want this to be the last part, I just really need to work up the motivation to actually write the ending at some point.

Extras: pt.1, mood board, playlist

1979

Regulus was dead.

Sirius wasn’t sure whether to believe the information imparted upon him by his former house elf, who didn’t stick around to ease any of his doubts. Kreacher disappeared as quickly and unexpectedly as he came. He had become accustomed to the snarls the elf would direct at him in his younger years, but Sirius hadn’t known him to be a liar.

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.

He was expecting someone to drop by, as he’d sent an owl to the Order the moment he heard the news. He wasn’t sure if this was the sort of intel Dumbledore was searching for, but he reckoned any information on the Death Eaters would be helpful.

Sirius nearly jumped when he swung his door open and was met with your fidgeting hands and startled face.

“Siri, I’m so sorry about—”

“What are you doing here?”

You forced your hands still, but Sirius didn’t miss the way your eyes refused to meet his. “James is on a mission. He, um, thought maybe it’d be better if you weren’t alone right now.”

Sirius’ shoulders sagged. “I see. How charitable of him.”

He walked into the living room, leaving you to close the door behind you. You slowly made your way to the armchair across from him.

Sirius’ arms rested on his knees as he glared at the chips in the wooden floor. The apartment wasn’t in the best condition, but Sirius had insisted it would be fine despite James offering a more upscale unit elsewhere. One year later, Sirius still hadn’t made any of the renovations he’d claimed he would, and James made sure to rib him about the ghastly purple wallpaper every time he came around.

James had never treated him with an ounce of pity, and sometimes bordered on being ignorant, but Sirius was honestly thankful for that. Which is why he figured your excuse was bogus.

He lifted his head to look at you. “Why are you really here, Y/N? Even if James wanted to check in, he’d send Remus or Peter—hell, he’d know to send anyone but you.”

You didn’t think you could deceive him for long, but you’d been hoping to last longer than two sentences. You looked down at your lap. “I just wanted to see how you were doing.”

And there it was. All these years later, and you still couldn’t let him be. “You wanted to see how I was doing? Y/N—”

You braced yourself for the inevitable lecture, but it never came. You were prepared to face Sirius at his worst when you decided to visit him—screaming at you, crying, maybe even throwing things. Instead, you were met with silence as he cut himself off.

Sirius looked upon you as he considered your reasoning for being there. You had never gone to see him there before, but he supposed his brother’s death was a significant-enough event for you to make an exception. He’d expected to see concern and sympathy plastered on your face, but you sat as though you were simply anticipating what he had to say.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, “I don’t know what I feel, if anything.”

“I understand. Things with you guys were…weird.”

Sirius gifted you a small smile. You weren’t sure if it was genuine, but it was a smile nonetheless. One you hadn’t seen in a while.

“Yeah. I can’t say I didn’t see this coming. I knew we lost him the moment he got the Dark Mark. Then again, my parents would probably say I was the one they lost.” Sirius glimpsed the photograph of him and his brother on the mantle. Neither of them were smiling. “Still, it doesn’t quite feel real.”

You nodded, observing the way his rigid posture gradually let up as he spoke. This was probably the most insight Sirius had ever volunteered about his family to you, and you respected that he seemed to have nothing more to say about the matter.

Sirius’ face exuded a warmth that you hadn’t been privy to since sixth year, apart from when you had that conversation at your engagement party a week ago. You bit your lip as the weight of that interaction began to press on you.

“Siri, about what I said last week—”

Sirius quickly stood from his seat. “Hey, I’ve got something here that you’d like,” he blurted, making his way to one of the boxes piled in the corner of the room.

Your mouth was left open at his sudden interruption. You forcefully pushed away the hope that you could talk to him as a friend, or at least be alone with him without so much tension. You instead focused on his back as he rummaged around in search of something.

You managed a lame, “What’s that?”

Your question was answered as he set the dusty relic onto the coffee table in front of you.

Your face broke out into a grin. “Your record player! I haven’t seen this thing in ages!”

Sirius smiled as you jumped up to inspect the old thing. “It was meant to be your wedding gift, actually.”

Your squeals were silenced as you felt your heart rise up into your mouth. Your throat felt unbearably full as you choked out, “Really?”

“Well, I mean, you’ve always been more fond of it than I ever was. I have no use for it here, and I couldn’t really think of anything else that didn’t cost a fortune. It was supposed to be a surprise, but, uh, you’re already here and the wedding’s only a month away anyway, so…figured I’d…get it out of the way.” Sirius shrugged dismissively, despite the clumsy excuses that tumbled out of his mouth.

You moved in front of him and looked at him with all the adoration you held for him when you were fourteen. “Sirius, thank you. I can’t tell you what that means to me.”

Sirius’ lips quirked up. “So, you like it?”

“I love it. It’s perfect.”

He was losing track of how long you’d been staring up at him.

Sirius tore himself away from you, squatting next to the instrument. “Why don’t we, uh, give it a test run before you take it home? I haven’t used it since—I haven’t used it in a while.”

You cursed the space he left in front of you as he fumbled with the position of the needle on the large disc.

“Alright, I think I’ve got it,” he said, hitting a knob on the machine. It let out a loud groan as it came to life.

You were both rendered silent at the song that began playing.

Sirius stared at the record player with wide eyes, mumbling, “I didn’t know this was still on there.”

…I don’t have much money, but, boy if I did…I’d buy a big house where we both could live…

“Oh, wow. I guess I forgot to take it back.” You sucked in a breath as you debated what this could mean, but you knew you’d be in a downward spiral for days if you let those thoughts get too out of hand.

You studied Sirius, who had a faraway look in his eyes. His head seemed to be elsewhere as he said, “I kept it just in case.”

Your arms around his neck ripped him from his thoughts. He gaped, bewildered at the way you latched onto him without any warning.

“Sorry, Siri,” you mumbled into his shoulder, “I know you hate hugs, but you don’t get a choice this time.”

You couldn’t help yourself. Between actually talking to him again, the news about Regulus, and the revelation of the record player—it was all too much.

He swallowed hard as heat fired off of every inch of skin you touched. With great restraint, he curled his arms around your waist. His face lowered to nuzzle against your head. “It’s okay. I’m glad you like my gift so much,” he murmured into your ear, sending shivers throughout your body.

You remained in each other’s embrace, both unwilling to be the first to let go. Before you knew it, you were swaying to the delicate melody that had overtaken the room. You struggled not to gasp at the way Sirius tightened his grip around you.

Sirius was just as lost in the moment as you were. He fought the urge to pull you in even closer, whispering breathily, “What are we gonna do?”

You were dizzy with the sudden image of James popping into your mind.

“Hey, careful, doll,” Sirius said gently, steadying you as you took an unstable step backwards.

Doll.

You looked from his grip on your wrist to his concerned face.

You’re better off with James.

His other hand was squeezing your shoulder.

I just want you to be happy.

He was saying something, but you couldn’t hear a word of it.

You’ll always have a piece of my heart, Sirius Black.

Your chest tightened beyond what was comfortable.

Are you happy?

You opened your mouth, but found no words coming to you.

“Y/N? Please say something. You’re scaring me.” Sirius’ words were laced with worry as he peered into your eyes.

“I—I have to go—” you stuttered, “I’m sorry, Sirius—I have to go.”

You tore yourself away from him and bolted out of the building.

Sirius shook his head, trying to understand what the hell just happened. You’d left him again. That was twice in one week, and three times in total.

The room went quiet as the song came to an end.

Sirius stared at the record that continued to spin. It kept its pace as if unaware that it was no longer producing music.

Sirius snapped his gaze away from it, a new sense of determination settling in his eyes.

#sirius x reader #sirius x you #sirius x y/n #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #sirius black #remus lupin #james potter #marauders #marauders era #happiness ✨#hogwarts #harry potter

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